One Year Later: A Review · 10:45pm Jul 10th, 2015
It’s hard to believe that a whole year has past since I first signed up for this site and submitted my first piece of writing for public consumption. It’s been a good time as well as a bad time, for reasons I solely place on myself. I’ll get to that a bit later.
I would consider this blog post more for myself than anyone else. To be able to look back in however many years time and try to understand what was going on in my head at preciously this moment. How I felt about fanfiction. How I felt about this site. How I felt about my skills and weaknesses as a writer. And how I felt about writing and storytelling in general.
I’ll warn you now. I have a feeling this will be very long.
SOME STATISTICS
Let’s start with some statistics from July 10th, 2014 until July 10th, 2015:
Total stories: 19
Total words: a little over 400k
Longest story: “Strings” (118k)
Shortest: “Telephone” (1,216 words)
Deleted stories: 6 (and good riddance)
Stories I’m still proud of: 11
Followers: 223
Story views: 101,771 (279.11 per day)
Stories featured on fimfiction: zero (better luck next year!)
Stories featured in the rotating bottom three:
“Strings” (once, I think)
“Regarding Falling Villains” (several times)
“Sombra the Highly Unmotivated” (several times)
Stories that made the popular list: Several, actually.
Stories submitted to Equestria Daily:
“An End to All Villains” (rejected)
“Sombra the Highly Unmotivated” (rejected) (better luck next year!)
WHY DO YOU WRITE STORIES?
I write stories because I need a creative outlet, otherwise I’m the type that becomes rather depressed when I haven’t created something in a while. When I was younger, I used to make horror films with my friends. Later on, I played guitar in a band for several years and wrote original songs. After the band faded, I wrote and shot comedic film reviews for a youtube account and later a poorly created website, while also writing scripts, scores, and creating short films in university. Lastly, I started writing. Then I started writing fanfiction.
My biggest regret in terms of reading and writing is that I didn’t get into it until later in life (I’m not that old, mind you, only mid-twenties). In 2007 I saw the pretty good film “1408” and was curious just who the hell thought of that stuff. Obviously, Steven King did. After that, I bought a collection of his short stories and now own every single one of his books.
I would look at his short stories at a turning point in my creative journey. Before then, I only thought of screenplays the length of feature films—only thought of big stories. Some of King’s shorts are only a single page and some are close to a hundred. Some are small slices of heaven and some are pure garbage. But what struck me is that anything can become a story. No matter how small or how big or how mundane or terrible. We should never discard an idea or notion simply because of its size or how it sounds. It honestly changed the way I looked at stories, and soon I found story ideas everywhere I looked. In university, one of the best creative assignments I ever got was to write fifty one-sentence ideas down, no matter how bad. I only had seven days and until that assignment, I had around ten solid ideas spinning in my head. Over the course of that week, I stared at people in class and outside of windows and whatever came to mind, I added to my list of growing oddities. (Mostly dark, mind you.) The interesting thing was, after submitting my page of stories, I found I was the only one that finished, as most people bottomed out around thirty ideas.
I really, really wish I kept that list of ideas. Here are two that I can remember:
A stoner and his imaginary friend go out one night to locate a legendary weed deep within the woods. At some point, the imaginary friend gets shot in the head and dies.
A female student who is drugged at a party and raped by a classmate hires a porno star to revenge rape said classmate.
(Yes. I know. I’m weird.)
My other large regret is not taking writing seriously until only a few years ago. In school, I was never a big fan of English courses. I wanted to write original stories and they wanted me to write essays. I also never thought much of grammar and the mechanics of the English language until now. If I could go back in time, I’d kick my seven year old self in the gut and throw a few books in his face and tell how much he’d like them later on. Then I’d tell him to pay attention in English and never start a two year relationship with a woman named Veronika. (Long and bitter story.)
When I discovered through film courses just how hard and near impossible it might be to actually get a script produced, I decided to write my first book. I had story ideas—both good and bad—and I didn’t think many people would want to read a screenplay to understand my story. I told my friend at work the next day I planned on writing a book and he told me, “But you don’t know how.” To that, I said, “Then I’ll give it a try.”
I’ve never taken a creative writing course besides film studies nor have I studied how to write pretty prose or weave compelling dialogue or plot devices. All I knew was what I liked to read and what types of stories I’d like to tell. That was it. That’s all I knew.
Over the course of three months or so, I turned out my first book “Ruin”, clocking in at 165k, detailing an average office drone who slowly discovers an organization has been hired against him to systematically ruin his life. I wrote upwards of 2000 words a day and had one of the best times in my life doing so. It was different. It was invigorating. And it was all mine and to me it didn’t matter if not a single person ever read it. It was like a test, in a way. To see if I could see it all the way through.
A year later, I wrote another book. “Burden” (92.5k) about a 50-something year old father whose son commits suicide after returning home since leaving for close to a year. Why did he kill himself? Because he owed a large amount of money to a notorious drug kingpin and knew he could never pay it off. Who inherits the dept? His father does, and now needs to figure out how to deal with it.
Between these books, I also wrote a smattering of novellas and short stories. The common theme being that they were rather dark and a little weird. That’s just what I liked to write about.
Now another important question…
WHY DO YOU WRITE MLP STORIES?
I won’t bore you with how/why I watch the show. I like it and its messages. A better story is how I got my sister into it, and how she got me into fanfiction, in return.
One day, while watching something on my computer with my older sister, my old screensaver popped up accidentally, displaying a nicely illustrated image of Pinkie Pie marching up the street with many of the background characters. My sister pointed to it and said, “Nice screensaver.”
For a moment, I didn’t really know what to say. No one knew I watched ponies. She then said, “I remember watching that show.” To which I asked, “Which generation?” “What?” “The old or the new one?” “There’s a new one?” “Yes. One that adults like, too.”
Thankfully at this time, there was a brony documentary out, and since my sister is an avid fan of documentaries, I was able to skim through it to give her a glimpse of the fandom. Sadly, I don’t think it works quite the same as actually watching the show.
A few days following that, I jokingly asked her if she “discovered the magic of friendship.” She said she watched a few episodes and left it at that. Since my sister and I have basically the same love of TV shows and films, I knew there was a good chance of getting her on board.
How you ask? Discord, obviously.
The next time she was over, I forced her to watch the first two Discord episodes. Her first question following those being “are there anymore Discord episodes we can watch?”
And just like that, she was in, first commenting how Fluttershy was her favorite pony before Pinkie Pie became her favorite. Awhile after that, she sent me a text asking if I’ve ever heard about “The Bride of Discord”, to which I said no. I caught a bit of a reading on youtube, but wasn’t really feeling the voices for the characters. Instead, I went online and read it there, finding the story pretty straightforward, but nice. As I’ve called it before, “a nice type of fluff to munch on.”
I read a few more of that author’s works and then found a few more stories I liked. My sister suggested some to me and I did the same. Then she asked me a question that would alter the next year and a bit.
“Have you ever thought about writing your own pony story?”
I chuckled. “I don’t think so.”
I’m the guy that wrote about an annoying little girl being sucked down an airplane toilet because she wouldn’t stop kicking the seat in front of her. I’m the guy whose main character gets his stomach torn in half and uses duck tape to keep his guts from leaking out. I’m the guy whose antagonist set his own nephew on fire and tied him to a chair because he screwed up.
At the time, I honestly didn’t think of myself as the colorful pony guy.
Then, one night, I felt the tidbits of a story take hold of my thoughts. A long story. So I thought, maybe I’ll write it and then return to my other stories. Why not? It could be interesting.
THE FIRST STORY
Since at the time I was strictly a dark writer, I had in mind a rather dark story. I aimed for short chapters (around 2k) for a total of around 40-50k. I was very, very naïve at the time.
The story in question was “Strings” and will probably remain as my personal favorite. There’s a lot wrong with it and a lot I wish I thought out better or deleted or changed, but warts and all I’m still very proud of certain scenes, characters, and bits of dialogue. One of the largest problems might’ve been in me stuffing the living crap out of it. That story was to be my one and only pony story, so I’d better get everything in there. (That didn’t pan out either.)
Writing “Strings” was an amazing time and reminded me of writing my first book. Releasing chapters for others to read as fast as you could churn them out lit a fire under my ass unlike any other. I’ve never written so much or so fast, or took such pleasure in doing so. I also wrote it mostly for myself, much like my earlier non-fiction works.
If I came home and had a single notification after a new chapter, I was happy. A like, favorite, comment, follow—it practically made my day. I think that’s one of the things I’m most grateful about—that my first story wasn’t all that much of a success. (I’ll get back to this in a moment.)
WHAT I’M PROUD OF
I may seem a little hard on myself, but I’m actually proud of a lot of things over the last year. For starters, I’ve continually changed what I think I’ll be known for.
At the beginning, I only had “Strings”, so I thought I’d be the “Strings” guy. Then “A Hollow Victory” became my most well received story, so I thought I’d be that guy. Then “An End to All Villains” got semi-popular and started a small debate and then I thought I’d be that guy. Following this was “Regarding Falling Villains” and more surprisingly “Sombra the Highly Unmotivated”.
Now I don’t know if I’ll ever top “Unmotivated”, but that’s all right. I really like that story.
I’m also proud of what I’ve tried. I may have started off as a dark/gory writer, but I have tried my hand at a few genres with various levels of success.
I’ve tried large scale adventure/dark/tragedy (Strings), plain old horror (Dinner with the King, Please Open the Door, An End to All Villains), original characters (Bookworm’s Delight), dark comedies with large stories (Regarding, Unmotivated), sad/tragedy (The Only Day, Hollow Victory, Cuddlebot), slice of life (Twilight Sparkle does not play with dolls, Telephone), romance (Before the Fall), cute and dark (The Crusader King), and even plain old dumb (Rise and Shine, The Love Bomb, The Hands that Saved the World).
As well as stories told in the first person, third person, third person omnipresent, through dairies, letters, journals and with various levels of tone.
Were they all successful? Hell no. One thing I’ve discovered during my time here is that I’m a very hit and miss writer. One story might find its mark while the next might fall flat. I’ve deleted many stories so far because I’ve been unsatisfied by them and I’m sure I’ll delete many more.
Some authors release a well thought-out story every couple of months and do very well because of it. I really can’t. I worry that if I stop writing for too long, I’ll stop writing completely and go do something else. After my first book, I didn’t write for half a year. Same with my second, before I asked myself, “Weren’t you supposed to write a new book?”
I will say having an audience of any size is one of the best motivators to write.
Another thing I’m proud of also came as a surprise to me.
When I wrote the first seven parts to “Regarding Falling Villains” I honestly thought that might be the last I write for this site. I was becoming unhappy with my stories and was basically trying to figure out my way into the feature box. (Don’t ever do this. It’ll only make you miserable.)
I thought the best way was with a cute picture and a short slice of life comedy. I aimed for just over a thousands words, but ended up with over 30k. This was another story that I wrote just for myself, whether anyone thought it was good or funny or anything. Turns out some people did.
I believe there’s a big difference between being funny in real life and being funny on the page. I really didn’t think I was all that humorous (I still don’t), and yet my biggest successes have been dark comedies I’ve since referred to as my “kitchen sink” stories. I call “Unmotivated” and “Regarding” these types for a couple of reasons.
Firstly, they’re both rather dark stories that most people wouldn’t be interested in reading based on just the plot. I made the stories easier to swallow by using any storytelling means available to me to keep you coming back. (Mainly jokes or weird situations or sarcastic asides.) Secondly, they’re both stories that really shouldn’t work at all, but still kinda do. (Unless you didn’t like them, then I guess they didn’t work after all.)
Here are some smaller things that I’m proud of:
I’ve actually gotten a few editors that enjoy my work enough to come back and deal with my permanently sarcastic persona. (Silly, silly editors.)
Some of my stories have been reviewed: “Strings” twice, “Unmotivated” once, “Bookworm’s Delight” once, “Please Open the Door” once.
Someone made artwork for one of my stories.
Someone actually asked me for writing advice. (Don’t do that! I repeat: don’t do that! I still have no idea what I’m doing!)
Someone made a blogpost detailing my work and asking others to give it a chance. It’s still one of the nicest things anyone has done for me here.
I supposedly made a lot of people laugh, cry, or generally feel something through my stories. (That’s the sole reason we get into writing, isn’t it? To hurt people with words?)
A handful of people have followed my work from near the beginning, including an older lady who’s added six or so of my stories to her favorites lists. She refuses to follow me, but I’m sure in time, I’ll write something so good she’ll have no choice but to give in. Maybe something Discord related.
THINGS I WILL NOT WRITE ABOUT
I doubt I’ll ever do cross-overs, anthro stories, or Equestria Girls stories. The only cross-over I ever gave any thought to was an Evil Dead/Army of Darkness one. Mostly for giggles. Also, no EQ Girls because I got into this to write about ponies, not sweet valley high girls. (Clearly, I wasn’t a big fan of the movies.)
Also, unless the plot absolutely hinges on it, I doubt I’ll ever write plain old clop. I’ve made many a sexual jokes in my time and have even done the trademark “pan to the fireplace” to hint at future sex (Regarding), but I think that’s the most I’ll do.
Clop on this site makes me a little mad, because if it’s good clop, it’ll become popular. If it’s bad clop, there’s still a good chance it’ll become popular.
Out of bitterness, I tested this theory out a long time ago and even set up a new account to put it in. I wrote a clop story in an hour or so, didn’t bother to edit, and submitted it. What happened? It was featured. Yep. It’s honestly that easy. I wrote a few more stories for that account because of how simple it was to get views, but stopped several months ago. Those stories don’t make me happy. I don’t want to stand beside them and be known for them. I’d like to look back on my time here and my work and consider it a resume for what I can do and what I do well at.
For those interested and with a strong stomach, here’s the link: dietcokewithlime.
(I’d recommend the Sombra story. The least unnerving.)
THINGS I’M NOT PROUD OF
I’ll start with the smaller ones.
Besides basic grammar and English, I have a hard time with characters—mainly, making characters sound like themselves.
I wrote completely original stories before coming here and have yet to fully grasp the art of fanfiction. I bend characters to suit my stories, but don’t change my stories to suit the characters. This leads to a lot of problems.
If you’ve read more than a couple of my stories, you’ll notice I use the same characters quite often. There’re reasons for that.
I return to Sombra over and over again because as far as the show’s concerned, he’s a blank slate. I—honestly—can’t fuck him up, or I’d need to try really hard to do so. I’ve made him my favorite villain in “Strings”, a goofy romantic in “Regarding”, a fuzzy lazy ass in “Unmotivated”, and even a fatherly leader in “Crusader”. He works for me, so I continue to use and abuse him.
Same goes for Discord. He is so insane that any line of dialogue works for him, same as motivations or goals. (Okay, maybe not in “Strings”, but let’s let that corpse rest.)
Anytime I need a hero character, I tend to use either Twilight or Applejack. They’re the most levelheaded and besides some dialogue problems, I can use them effectively. Not so much with the remainder of the mane six.
I also tend to write about villains more than heroes, or literally make the heroes as the villains (Unmotivated, Regarding). I love villains. I really do. They get to do all the cool stuff and have all the cool lines. Hell, I even created my own villain in “Bookworm” just because I love them so much. But the downside to that is that my heroes aren’t as strong as they should be. They only exist because the villain needs someone to stop them. That’s not the way it’s supposed to work in stories.
Same would go for plots and outlining them. I have a tendency to start projects without knowing how they’ll end. Usually, I’ll like the first chapter or part so much, I’ll want to get it out and have it be seen. Then it’ll come and bite me in the ass. I’m not saying I do this all the time, but it’s definitely something I wish I spent more time on correcting. It would only benefit the story.
And the biggest thing I’m not proud of is: myself.
I am a very thin skinned and jealous person. My largest sin of all would be envy by a mile, but only in things I’m interested in.
If I knew an actor made millions of dollars a year, I wouldn’t care. I’m not an actor nor do I want to be one.
When I played in a band and had a large interest in music, I absolutely hated my best friend at the time for being in a better band than mine. One year later, when his band had dissolved and mine had only done better, he asked if he could join. Gleefully, I told him no. (These are not things I am proud of.)
Before I wrote my first story here, I read a lot of pony fiction and enjoyed most of it. Now I continually ask myself, “Why didn’t I think of that?”
A positive comment from someone can make my day. What can ruin my day is when I start looking up other writer’s accounts and see just how many are doing better than me. And the answer is quite a lot. Some of it has to do with views, content, talent and skill, marketing and overall reaction to the work.
When I started to read “Fallout: Equestria”, I absolutely loved it and absolutely hated it at the same time. “Why didn’t I write that?” Well, several reasons. A) You didn’t. B) It was a product of its time (2012 was a big year for pony stories.) C) The author took the time and had the talent to pull it off.
Several times over the past year, I told myself I’d stop writing, including the time I got my first dislike on my first story. Since then I’ve gotten many, many more dislikes and have gotten rather used to them.
I told someone once that writing for this website is like becoming a drug junkie, forever chasing your latest fix. You write your first story and get your first likes, favs and follows. Then you want more. And more. And more. And then you wake up one morning and find 150 notifications waiting for you after finishing your biggest story at the time. You’re elated. You’re happy. Then the notion of replicating that comes to mind and you discover it doesn’t really work that way. You write as well as you can and hope for the best.
No one has ever told me I should stop writing or that I have no talent in the field. No one has ever said that my stories are bad and that I should find a new creative outlet. In fact, many readers support me and even a few bigwigs from the site have commented on my work. I should be rather happy with what I’ve accomplished and how I’ve done so, because for all I know, there might be someone as envious as me just starting out that stumbles upon my account and wonders just how he got over a hundred followers. I know I’ve felt the same at one point. We all start somewhere.
WHAT I’D LIKE TO ACCOMPLISH IN THE COMING YEAR
Over the next year, I’d like to try new things and different ideas. I’d like to perhaps take a few steps back from Sombra stories (after the latest are done) and try my hand at some darker material again. My hesitancy with this is that the audience for darker stories is much smaller than comedies. Again, I need to write for myself before I write for others. I also need to become enthused about writing again, like I was when I first came here. I think it’s possible; I’ll only need to shake things up a bit.
In a category about goals, I guess I’m supposed to add: get featured, get on Equestria Daily, get another hundred followers, ect., but I’d rather be happy with another body of work I could look back on with pride. (If I start writing nothing in six months time besides futa clop between lesbian ponies, please send me a message telling me I’ve sold out. It’ll be something future me needs to hear.)
TOP TEN STORY QUOTES (IN NO ORDER)
“My sister always says the best way to get rid of stains is with bleach. Maybe we should get him to drink some of that.” (Sweetie Belle, The Crusader King)
“You remind me of my son. He worked in the mine—maybe you knew him. He died four days ago and he was all I had. Some accident, along with others. I never got to see his body, or kiss him goodbye. But I’m sure he was around your age. I’m sure. I’m happy it’s going to be you.” (Guest Number Three, Dinner With The King)
“Then maybe real friendship isn’t for you, Sombra. Although I might not play by the rules like others, friendship isn’t something I would trade for anything. It’s like an enema made out of sunshine that never goes away.” (Discord, Regarding Falling Villains)
“Today is the worst day of my life. Today is also the best day of my life. It’s the only day of my life anymore, although not all of it is bad.” (Autumn Paradise, The Only Day)
“But, Steve, I’m your friend. I’m your pal. I’m your bro. I’m your Som-bro, Steve.” (Sombra, Sombra The Highly Unmotivated)
“If you will not help me, then hold me, Tia. I’m sick of being hated everywhere I go because that ‘thing’ will only follow. I just want to feel wanted before I go.” (Discord, An End To All Villains)
“I love you too, Apple Bloom. More than you could imagine. And I’m sorry I let you down. I was supposed to protect you and in the end I couldn’t. I should have kept my eyes on you like all big sisters should, but I lost you along the way. And now it’s too late. And I’m sorry. I’m so, so sorry for that.” (Applejack, Please Open The Door)
“I do not wish for a fight with an unprepared foe; rather, I want a fight that will quiet every voice that might have said how unfairly she’d been defeated. If when I win begins a new era of history, I want it to be written that I triumphed on an equal field of play. And as Celestia sinks away from this life I want to taste the tears of defeat from her eyes, and I want her to know that no matter what she thought she might do, she could not stop what’s to come.” (Sombra, Strings)
“How much fun would that’ve been, hmm? Answer: none. Also, I don’t work that way. I am the rightful Lord of Chaos, and Lords of Chaos aren’t supposed to avert doomsday scenarios. Rather, they’re supposed to create them. But that doesn’t mean I can’t string someone along and hope for the best.” (Discord, Sombra The Highly Unmotivated)
“You tried to change me, Celestia. You tried to use me for your own ends—manipulate me. You are not a creator, Princess—you are a leader, and nothing more. You tried to change chaos itself, but chaos is not something that is supposed to stop and play nice. Chaos is ever moving, ever changing, and the moment it stops doing that is the moment it stops doing what it was meant to do. You tried to change the very nature of my being, Celestia. I loved you, and all you wanted to do was use me… and change me… all for your own gain.” (Discord, Strings)
IN CONCLUSION
That was way too many words. Anyways, here’s looking forward to another year of horse words. Thanks for the support thus far.
Wow.
Interesting bits of trivia. I posted the first seven chapters of my 1st story on Fanfiction on July 7th of last year. I posed the same on this site on July 30th. My first encounter with anything fan related was the audio series Bride of Discord, which I found on youtube while I was looking for part two of the (then) season finale. That was what made me want to write pony stories instead of dark or silly poetry, or the six novels I had started but never finished. I play electric, bass, acoustic, electric fiddle, and sitar... all badly. (I call it pleasant noise. Although I am amazing on my jaw harp). I feel the same way about Fallout:Equestria, and wanting to get featured on ED, but I will be the first to admit, my stories aren't as good as yours, so I expect you to be the first to make it. (Any day now, just wait and see!)
I would say it is remarkable that I began to follow an author with so many similarities, that came onto the scene at almost exactly the same time. But thinking about it, it seems almost inevitable. Your stories have been featured more than once, usually as fast as you send in a chapter, so they were bound to ping on my radar eventually. And, self depreciation aside, you are a very gifted writer.
I am quite happy to have made your acquaintance, and look forward to whatever worlds your mind brings into existence in the following year.
Happy Anniversary NBD!
Q.E.
Year of the green pear.
Apple dies as the pears rise.
Inevitable.
Umm...keep on being awesome? Yeah!
3226916 "Keep on being awesome"? I guess there's a first time for everything.
3226865 Thank you very much for commenting and for the overall support since I've known you. This blogpost's almost 5k, but it's also very therapeutic in a way, letting me vent even if I'm the only one that reads it. It's also a good way to look bad and take stock of what worked and not dwell too hard on what didn't. That's the biggest thing I need to change; my own attitude towards my work and when comparing it with others. I hope writing remains something that I'll always enjoy doing, even if it might not always be fanfiction.
Just like how a year and a half ago you'd never write a pony story and never gave it any thought?
Anyone who wonders that is an idiot. You've written 19 stories, all ranging from good to great quality, as well as written several blogs. The fact that you have only 223 as of this writing is a shame.
3227029
True. I really shouldn't make claims like that on the internet. Like how I said several stories ago that I'd never do another HiE story, and then "Unmotivated" accidentally became one. Well, you never know what I'll write given time. Or money.
Thank you very much for commenting and for reading some of my stuff. It's certainly been a very interesting year and I look forward to the next.
It's interesting to see how you got into writing here, and to see what your goals for the future are. To continue writing can only improve your skill in it, and making mistakes is how you learn to adapt and work around them.
Personally, I'm excited for when you slip back into writing darker stories... And makes me wonder how deep the rabbit hole could go...
On another note, I had been nodding my head every now and again while reading this. Then I read "THINGS I WILL NOT WRIGHT ABOUT" and saw your Equestria Girls comment, and proceeded to chuckle loudly whilst nodding even harder. Until I realised I was in public. And people were looking at me strangely.
... Yeah.
Anyways, good job so far, and I wish you luck on getting featured. Because of your writing ability, it's only a matter of time until it occurs...
3227136 Thank you for writing; it's certainly easier to comment on quality pony words than to write quality pony words.
3227176 I just don't think I'll ever be a big EQ girls fan. I don't even think I've read a single EQ girls story, actually. Also, unless it revolves around the high school prom or the mystery of the cafeteria's lumpy pudding recipe, I just think most stories can still be told with ponies. Then again, I shouldn't speak for everyone. Some people write nothing but EQ girls stuff and they do damn well.
Eh. I shouldn't be too concerned about getting featured, honestly. It might happen or it might not. Certain stories have a better chance of getting up there. Maybe I should strive to become the best writer on the site that's never been featured. Then, a week after declaring this, I'll get featured for something and have to abandon the account. Maybe I'm over-thinking all this...