Dedicated to Tree Hugger · 10:47am Jun 28th, 2015

Dear blog readers,

Lord Smooze here.

In an attempt to ingratiate myself to you meatbags, and to placate my new associate, Tree Hugger, I am attempting to understand mortal concepts. Concepts such as kindness, love, tolerance, the sanctity of life, and selfies. Since I have thus far failed to understand any of the aforementioned concepts, I have decided to approach a new one that I believe is important to carbon-based lifeforms like yourself.

To accomplish this, I will attempt to press an issue I feel is very important in the modern day political climate. Please don't hesitate to give me tips if you feel I'm doing a poor job of representing real life concerns, because I care about your ~~worthless~~ feelings.

Now, without further ado, I shall proceed with the blog:

Friends, Americans, countrymen, lend me your ears!

It has come to my attention that the United States Supreme Court has legalized gay marriage. This has come to my attention because my American worshipers won't shut up about it. ~~So, if you don't mind, shut up.~~

But there is no time to celebrate. A major injustice still remains! While gay marriage is now allowed by law, gays are still being oppressed.

I speak not of gay humans, but of gay weed!

As of right now, there are no laws protecting the rights of gay weed in the United States. In many other countries and cultures, gay weed is treated as any other weed. Gay weed roams the streets, searching for a brighter tomorrow, healthily integrated into society. Gay weed can hang out in the local coffee shops in Amsterdam. Gay weed can frolic free in the fun-loving island of Jamaica, or settle down and start a family in the lush fields of Columbia. All over the world, countries outside of the United States embrace the culture and values of gay weed. As bronies of this site might say, they "love and tolerate". ~~And if you say that sort of shit, fuck you.~~

But in the United States gay weed is banned outright. Though the supreme court has allowed gay marriage, there has been no mention of removing the ban on gay weed. And so the violence continues. In the United States, when a policeman sees gay weed they immediately call for backup and burn the illegal immigrant. They don't even have to argue that the weed was armed, or that it was reaching into its pocket, or that it was resisting arrest!

The policeman who did this received no jail time, and in fact was commended for his brutality.

Despite growing numbers of cases of police brutality towards gay weed, there has been remarkably little action taken to protect gay weed rights. Fear and a lack of leadership has held back the voices of the masses that cry out in horror at the destruction of their fellow carbon-based lifeforms. That changes today.

To protect the gay, green masses, one thing absolutely must happen. We must legalize gay weed. Take to the streets. Begin a reign of anarchy and chaos against your local governments until they agree that plant homosexuality is as important to tolerate as mammalian sexuality. If they do not immediately comply, riot, and then go to your local Smoozian Cult Leader and assist them with whatever it takes to summon Smooze, the Destroyer, into your world. Upon the completion of your task, I will proceed to execute those who have dared to extinguish the sanctity of life. Those who have not shown kindness and tolerance towards their peers will be crushed beneath the righteous fury of Lord Smooze.

Thank you for your cooperation and your compassion.

With lots of love,
Lord Smooze

PS. There, Tree Hugger. I wrote a damn blog post showing people how liberal minded I am. I don't know how or why Discord puts up with this crap.

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