I don't blog much but this is something I wrote yesterday · 5:15pm May 21st, 2015
I can't laugh, I can't smile, I can't think without the thought of suicide. I can't write down my thoughts cause I'd end up doing them. I've isolated myself here and home. No one sees me, no checks thinking I'm hurt. I just lay here letting my sorrow sink in. I sit in the rain to calm myself. The cool air, the sound of rain hitting the ground. It may sound weird or odd. But it's the most calming sound I know. I miss writing fanfics. It drove my mind away into a different state full of life. Yet it always seems to crash and burn just like the dreams of a five year old. Everything leaves but stays. How? Because something is always left behind. Think of the one person you love more than anything. Take a deep breath. Now think about how you feel with them beside you. In the loving embrace that is far more than just family. Think of that in your dying breath. Think of it when you need them but can't quite get there. Know they love you and would do anything to see you smile. Know that they would rather sit by your side to cheer you up then going with friends. It's always the way to tell that they love you. Love is not just saying that you love someone or how much you hug or kiss them. It's about what you'd do to know that there alright. It's about putting other things aside to talk things out. Sure everyone has moments an messes up but the one that does sometimes deserve a second chance but never get it.
Always. Some soul out there always cares.
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