My lack of writing... for ponies.

(Warning, this blog's a bit all over the place)

Well at the time I'd like to thank all of you who are still sticking around. I've noticed a trend with myself that whenever I finish a story or big project I find it hard to get back on the saddle (Fucking ha) and just keep on writing. I'm still emotionally invested in the characters I just wrote and all and yadada. Blueblood and Fancy Pants helped me a lot in understanding and developing and most of all improving on my writing (With Vivid Syntax's help of course.). But afterwards I'm still in this odd... slump.

I get sad and dislike what I write because my mind is still on other topics and it's hard to write new characters and personalities. And while I enjoy writing my CaraMac story I just feel... lacking when I finish a chapter. I'm actually a person who struggles to complete a lot of stuff, and writing is one of the few things I'm proud of myself for finishing with as much heart as I do. Personally I think Melting Snow helped me improve writing characters while Blossoming Roses helped me improve writing in general. And now... well, I'm not writing ponies too much. I still care an awful lot for these characters, but recently I've been working on... let's say project.

That project is I am writing a book. Now while I still feel these odd feelings of it not being good, I'm still developing the world and plot and I'm happy doing it. The lack of feedback is probably the biggest shift I've made. I need to be a good judge of my own writing and point out my own mistakes since editors and audiences cannot currently. I want to improve at writing because I feel like I can be good at it, I really do. And I get it, Apples and Sweets is plot less and not up to usual editing and all and usually I write the bits in one sitting. But still, I just feel this feeling in my gut when I finish writing a chapter like I'm not as good as I could be. Which is some ways is a good thing, you can never stop improving. But right now with my self esteem and stuff it's probably not the best mindset. Who knew writing gay ponies kiss and cuddle and tell each other they love them was so hard?

This blog was sort of an announcement/explanation for why I'm not posting that much CaraMac or other stories in general, but also just to sort of get off my chest my weird doubtful feelings that I can't control because fuck yeah anxiety/depression whatever. Hell at this point in my life I probably have less of a reason than ever to feel depressed. I'd like to write a little more of Apples and Sweets soon once I get around to it or if I get inspiration. I just finished off the sixth chapter of my project (None of the chapters have been edited so I should also probably work on that) So I do have some free time.

If anybody has any ideas for an Apples and Sweets chapter feel free to leave one, I still got a lot of these to write.

Hell I might even steal Vivid's idea and make a poll for you guys to vote on ideas. That'll be fun since I'm making these up as I go.