Slightly Late April Revisions · 11:55pm May 5th, 2015
So... Assuming I read site policy correctly, I'm about to publish the revised chapters as new chapters within dC/dt story and delete the old ones.
As I said before, Chapter 1 has minor changes for the most part. Some of these minor changes lead to larger changes to Chapter 2 though, so it should still be worth rereading. I recommend at least rereading the scene near the end where Celestia mets out judgement to Morpheus though as there were significant changes in diction there to correct a small plothole. I don't recommend rereading that scene for that though. I recommend it because I find it to be a huge improvement over the old scene. There's much more to imagine from the new phrasing.
Chapter 2 has a bit of a different feel to it because I felt I was running into the same problem as Keep Calm an Flutter On wherein I felt things were rushing (In terms of Twilight seeming to instantly befriend Morpheus that is). I'm not sure I succeeded in finding the balance. Heck I'm not even sure what exactly I'm trying to balance. It's like a 5 dimensional seesaw that I can only describe a few sides of. It's also about 1.5x as long as I added the Spike from Morpheus's point of view. It was also much harder to cut wordiness here. Part of that's my fault, but part of that's also because Morpheus and other changelings should be overly wordy. As I picture them in this story, they're minds are so occupied with various thoughts and calculations it would make sense for them to speak in overly complicated run on sentences. It might make the story too dry, but it was just too hard to cut corners with Morpheus.
And speaking of format I guess I should bring up the manner of line breaks. There are three functions for line breaks I'm using currently, each with their own visual appearance. The first comes after Changing Time's notes to signify their end and the beginning of the chapter. Following this is a part of the story as being retold by Twilight or Morpheus -- the report if you will. At some point, however, it always becomes easier to tell the story in the moment, so the second line break style you see signifies transitions into and out of what is essentially flashback territory with the third style of line break signalling scene changes within a flashback.
Anyways, sorry if there's a couple inconsistencies. The revisions are a little less edited than the originals.
