Fanfic Reviews – Adventure Edition · 5:14pm Apr 5th, 2015
Just a few this time. Expect a lot more this week, I wanna clean up all my pending reviews so I can focus on reading new things. This time around we have:
When Music is Silenced
The Good, the Bad, and the Ponies
Harpflank and Sweets: Simple is Best
As a reminder, scores are on a 0~10, with 3 representing a trully average fic, and 8 being where I can say I like/recommend a story.
MyMetalPony – When Music is Silenced – Adventure
A metal band frontman helps the Elements of Harmony battle a new threat.
This is an interesting fic, great in many aspects, but that suffers from multiple issues. It is one of those stories that manages to mix the show themes and atmosphere with more rowdy subjects, without either feeling out of place. It also has that vision of metal as you would see in things like Metalocalypse or Brütal Legend: Rowdy, epic, powerful, and somewhat anti-social. It is something I like seeing in stories, so it made for a fun read. And, by dealing with this more aggressive and impulsive protagonist, it can use friendship as a theme and a concept in a very smart way.
The OC protagonist, Thunder Growl, was one of the main reasons the story worked for me. He is unique and full of personality, but without feeling too quirky. This is one of the cases where the issues of a character not only makes him endearing and relatable, but also work in favor of the plot, and manages to imply things about the larger story of his life. All in all, a complete, well rounded character.
In fact, characterization was a strong point for all involved, Celestia in particular. That is important, since much of the fic is carried by character interactions, and helps make Thunder Growl not feel out of place amongst the mane 6. He connects strongly to different characters, and has individual relationships with the different ponies that actually make sense. Other strong points were the villain and the general atmosphere, as well as the cathartic ending.
Sadly, this fic is plagued by multiple writing issues, such as missing words, commas, tense issues, and typos, a bunch even of the spell check variety. It also falls into the trap of forcing all the mane 6 to appear in some scenes, even when they aren’t particularly relevant to the action. This is a common issue in pony fic, and one of those things that severely impacts plot progression and pacing, making certain sections of this fic, quite frankly, a chore to go through.
But for all that, the thing that bothered me the most was the lack of subtlety. The story frequently manages to set-up these very eloquent and metaphoric set pieces, but then proceed to beat them into the ground with needless exposition and repetition. This is a story that would be well served by being severely edited and trimmed down. Still, for all that I still had a good time reading it, and there is plenty to like here.
Why it should be read: For a story with a great OC, and plenty of cool ideas.
Stand out moment: I really liked the ending. Not only it was cathartic, but it also managed to tie up all of the loose ends.
7/10
Sharp Spark – The Good, the Bad, and the Ponies – Western
In this world there's two kinds of ponies: Those with friends, and those who dig.
It is rare for me to want to scream "moar" at my screen, but I feel entirely justified in this case. This is a simple and great set-up, and I couldn't help but fall in love with it. As a fan of Spaghetti Westerns, I can say it was right up my alley, and reads like a love letter to the genre – a list of references/inspirations would be greatly appreciated.
Thing is, it was a purely fun read. The fights were exciting, chaotic, full of character and thematically appropriate. The character interactions were another high point, and I loved seeing these twisted versions of the Mane 6 interacting and conflicting. It does a great job of showing them as being radically different, yet still the same on some level, feeling like an AU that isn't completely detached from Equestria.
My only significant complaint is that it is too in your face with how it contrasts the mane 6 with their canon selves – in particular, Fluttershy having a pet falcon named Devil that likes to hunt bunnies, which was straight up hilarious. It wasn't enough to take me out of the story, but did make the fic lose some momentum. Still, this was such an outstanding story that my complaints are essentially squashed by just how much fun I had read it.
Why it should be read: If you love Westerns and ponies.
Stand out moment: I love how the last chapter completely recontextualizes the preceding story. Not exactly a twist, but more of a subversion.
9.5/10
Conner Cogwork – Harpflank and Sweets: Simple is Best – Adventure
A Harpflank and Sweets side story.
I imagine that this story makes absolutely no sense if you aren't familiar with the Harpflank and Sweets series, so this review is from the perspective of someone that is familiar and likes the series. An in that case, this is a worthy side story, very true to H&S, managing to explore the character of the ever-underutilised Ditzy. I likely wouldn't even find it weird if it had been inserted in the main fic! Also noteworthy was how the fic used the Apple Family, relating well to their differences in this universe, yet still using facts of their canon characterizations. It made for an interesting contrast, and helped propel the conflict.
However, this story could use some extreme trimming down. It is overly long, and everything it does could have been easily been done in half its length. This lack of a tight focus ruined the pacing and dulled the emotional impact. As such, much of the story fell flat, and while I did enjoy reading it, it was a bit underwhelming, especially considering how much potential it had.
Why it should be read: For Harpflanks and Sweets fans.
Stand out moment: I liked Applejack's family life, and her interactions with Apple Bloom.
6/10
Thank you for the kind review!
At this point I don't even know that I could go back and remember enough to be fully comprehensive in a list of references – and a lot of them are allusions to tropes and genre conventions rather than specific examples. To some extent it is even more reliant on action movies than westerns, as my biggest goal was to keep everything building throughout, and so I threw a whole lot of stuff at the wall to keep the momentum. (Though I will note one big inspiration that's somewhat obscure: Baccano!, an anime that is largely focused on a train heist.)
You're right in that it gets too indulgent at times, but I had a fun time writing it, and figured that it veered past realism pretty early on and I just had to ride a sense of ridiculousness the whole way.
2950418 Wow, I was gonna mention Baccano! on the review, but deleted the comment at the last minute! The ensemble cast trying to rob the train and butting heads until they eventually work together certainly made me think about it, as well as the rhythm of the story.