blood.people and nothing · 2:27am Jan 11th, 2012
i actually plan to be completly honest in this poast and say im suicidal and inflict pain upon myself im only 13 (i add 10 years to my age to remove maturaty fillters on websites) and yet many nightes i find myself thinking about the best place to hange a slip knot (i cant tie a nose only a slip knot) or slashing my arm with a dull tire iron so as not to puncture my skin but still cause pain or picking of scabs to at least see my blood and feel pain just trying to feel emotions and fim is one of my few saviors just the fanfictions alone have probaly prevented me from my rope and then the people and the mosic help to though i wish laurn faust was still here i only seamed to like the episoads she made they allowed me to sleep with a smile on my face and im only poasting this in the hopes no one reads this im the only one subscribed to my account so i can use this as a release and dont pity me i insult and bash myself enough when i let people down though usaully ill just ignore it till im alone and act normal while writting comments and blogs and messages but thats just normal me i feel as though iv got two pesonalites my public and private ones but i dont have two personalites just two diffrent mindsets i refer two as blood-my suicidal mindset and people-my mindset i use when interacting with others and its not realy helping with my paranoia where sudinly ill think in third person and explain whats going on for the nonexistnt mind readers and do a inner monolouge like im writting a autobiography and want some spots where i can confuse people in the futre when i write it if i become important enough wich i know i wont thing is i dont know why "blood" even exists sure he helps (im gonna talk as though my mindsets are real to make this easyier in not insane like that at least not yet) me sometimes i gues but theres also "nothing" its my mindset i guess when i want to detach myself from my missary and just be emotionless i can only seam to "use" nothing durring things that are realy sad though like deaths or funirals so yeah what can i say most times i wnt to fall asleap and never wake up forever living in the un rememberaing nothingnes i call sleap (i cant remember my dreams) but i cant we live cause we live nothing else and luckily my physical neads prevent me from just givving up also im afraid of suicde wich has helped in one time iv nearly kicked the chair out from underneath me for i want to know what comes next but sadily suicide is aparently unforgivable and i dont plan on going to hell just cause i could get shot.murdered.contract a disease.blown up.forciably starved.tortured.eaten alive. or killed in any number of ways like everyone else and i dont want pity i just want to say i at least told everyone else about it and that i didnt do it for pity as i said before i nead a release and this works cause no one will ever read this besides me and i just hate this fealing well sorta hate mostly just dispair because of it but im opened minded and ended up accepting it rite now blood and people are present most of the time both are present but people is the one i show the people while blood just obsserves and brings up thoughts i usauly ignore except at times like this where he gets full public controll and people just adds thoughts i follow (like i should clarify this with parentheseis) anyway i think i done bye fack people real people and non-exsitant mind readers who read my mind as i typed this up bye (man i hate my mind)
sighned-blood.people and of course the crazy fuck who has them in there mind lunadashscratch
Sir you should write sadfics, using personal experience can encourage closure and the positive feedback you get will help feel good....also I liked icon so I clicked on it
4907
I could not agree with you more. I would read it.
Hey brony! I was snooping around and I came to this. I know exactly how you feel, but I don't go on hurting myself.
I like to look at this whenever I'm down http://cheezburger.com/Derp-a-derp/lolz/View/5638494464. It makes me remember there's still ponies and people alike out there that make it worth living.
Woah. And I thought I was sad!
I advice you to visit this page and laugh your head off: http://i0.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/original/000/233/118/8a5.png
same here. you should write sad fictions. writing really takes your mind of things like stress and life it self. maybe a thought.
but your my friend and will stand with you, for better or for worse.
Wow man, that's just... wow. Please never kill yourself, i don't want to lose someone as cool as you :-)
Hey man, I understand your pain and all but... your 13 man. Life ain't all that bad, just take time to enjoy the little things. Wake up early in the morning and smell the morning air, or go out late at night at just look at the stars. Life isn't all that bad... we all have our issues (some more than others) but it's how we overcome them and become a better that really defines us. So please, try and be happy.
Maybe do what the others said and channel some of these emotions into a fan fic, or just writing in general. I'm here if you ever need someone to talk to, no one should feel like that. 
lunadash, your my best friend when it comes to mlp. in fact your more then my friend. your my bro and as bros, i'll help you even if i'm not there to hug, i'll still help you.
i've lost enough friends in my lifetime already and you are one that i won't lose. so as the gears of war saying goes: brothers to the end.
just for everyones benifit im gonna explan how the self harming has bean goiing down the past month and im not as bad as before so dont worry im still deppresed but i dont feal as much of a need to cut my self i simply didnt state it in the blog since i didnt realy think it would last but since abot december 25 or 28 iv bean fealing better but put it down as a lull in it that would end but it hasnt and after seeing the comments i figured i should state this for all of those concerned about me
6773>>6148>>6030>>5046>>4987>>4943>>4907
also no i will not start writing sad fics iv writtin poems and such but not sad fics and i dont plan to
I actually know for a fact that going outside and seeing nature is proven to work just as well as anti-depressant medicine. Maybe that would help.
I actually know for a fact that going outside and seeing nature is proven to work just as well as anti-depressant medicine. Maybe that would help.
i prefer expresing myself through poetry its pretty relaxing and makes me feal better and i live on key west a verry small island but whenever im up north i love going through the woods>>7294
I'm just hearing about this.
If you still feel that way, best of luck to you
78074Nah I'm good now, it shows that in my latest blog don't worry.
I honestly think you would be pretty good at writing a sad/horror fiction. Being completely honest.
I am glad that you are feeling better, and that everything is well. Suicide is never the answer... and truth be told... I actually tried, "this", a long time ago, when i was about 12 or 11... actually, not that long ago, I am 13 right now. Ever since I started watching My Little Pony: friendship is magic, I have forgotten about suicide, killing myself, etc.. People have asked why I watch the show, I only tell them "because I like it, the story is awesome and animation.". I have never, ever told ANYONE that it is because it literally saved my life from suicide. I thank Lauren Faust for making such awesome shows and also saving my life.
-Real life experiences will come up later, and make you think about the decisions you have made in the past....
--me! :D
~~~rainbow_shy