Looking back. · 4:08am Apr 8th, 2012
K as I was recently loking here http://www.fimfiction.net/blog/4632 and I swear I was nearly sheding tears from the blog and comments. Something that had seemed so common to me back then is making me teary eyed now. Also my gramer is fucking shut back then to. And truth be told that while I have all that shit it's all died down. Blood never gets control and People is becoming the acctual me. I'm changing into what I lways presented myself as and I know what's to blame for it. It's My Little Pony Friendship Is Magic, I was afucked up teanager back then and now, now I can shd a tea and laugh at something without forcing it. Hell right now I'm getting a little wet eyed, damn you ponies you drive me to feel! Anyway I'm, just saying thanks to all those of you who have been with me and made me into something I can actually feel semi proud of. So as I've said before thanks. Without all of you I can alreday tell I'd be dead, mlp gave me a reason to live and made me friends and for that I feel eternally grateful to it and all of you and I wish I could feel my praise is accurate enough to be worth of hearing. I once wrote this poem called "Marthyr".
The Martyr By:lunadashscratch
hate begets hate.tragedy causes tragedy. So give upon me all your hate sorrow fear and confusion for I shall be your catalyst for peace. Your martyr of destruction for I will Cary your burden till the end of my day's, so as to at last create peace for all to enjoy for that is all the boon I need. To se peace and happiness among my fellow man
And now a days I feel that if I could do this I would without a second thought for any of my friends but I find it to be unfitting so I write this instead.
I Was Blind, But now I can squint. By:lunadashscratch Oh countlas years I spent without sight, I was blind but I knew that I saw better than everyone else. I saw darkness, hate, pian, misery, and sorrow and that's all I knew. And so I thought I saw the world for what it is, we had been given so much beuaty and destroyed it, and so I was not blind for I saw we had destroyed all this and knew its sorrow. At the time I felt I saw more than the man who had to carry the axe to chop down the tree or hold the gun that killed the inocent, I was blind but I saw and what I saw was pain and sorrow as a mother weeped over her childs body and a pair of birds lamenated the loss of their home. I watched as they celebrated the birth of a child and felt that they were blind while I could see. This child would grow and die and ammount to nothing, I saw but I was still blind as I always was. I saw as they made a bomb that could kill a hundred people and pat the back of the man who invented it. I saw the pain and sorrow it would bring, they were blind but I saw. I watched as they rushed the man to the hospital to save his life. I saw a man who would be unable to pay his bills and bring his family into proverty, I saw more sorrow but was more blind than before. I sit here today and read back upon my past. I see a week fool who can not take a little bit of pain that everyone takes and must be weak and seek the suport of others while I must stay alone, but I am not as blind as I was and can squint and see a boy who has gone through much and will go through more but will never falter when a friend is on the lin e, a boy who shal face much hardship yet strech himself thin to help as many as he can and touch the lives of many people, I can see a boy wo wishes he could be so much more and help others even more and do his best to serve those he cares for. I see a boy through squanted eyes who holds his friends at the shoulders next to him and is suronded by others but manliy two othes, one to each side which he holds by a arm around eachs shoulder, and who both hold out a hand of their own out to my squanting form and as I reach for them I realize I am to far but at this they both step from the boy I see and lift me from each side, one is 21 and is named Red cross who is on my left, the other is 15 and called ezio dementay, and then it hits me as we step towardds the boy I saw and he steps towards me, he's me. and with that he walks into me and my squinting eyes see the group of people suronding me. and I know that I'd give my life for the two lifting me from my sides or any of tjos who are grouped before me, because they have saved my life and I know that they would do the same for me. and I accept my name and not that of who I say I am. For my name is who I am and that is Matthew.Logan.Gilleran and I wouldn't have it any other way.
And no I'm gonna stay a closet brony but Ima give out my name on brony sites freeliny now.
62946 Don't worry I'm squinting as it says and it feels good. The saying's "Don't pity the dead, pitty the living for abandoning the dead." Well blind me is dead and I'm not abandoning him and acting like he wasn't real, I'm sending im off with a lateish good bye. So don't pity/feel sorry for me, but for those who ignore the past and act like they've never had a problem instead of acceptin g it and giving it a fondish farewell of sorts.
62969woo god on ya mate wish i wish i could feel like that
65031Meh I'm good for now and just feeling poetic is all.Not much else to say.
65126thats cool
Kiddo, buck up.
I'll be honest. I'm not one to pity others, nor do I tend to give a fuck. All life is bound to end, and thusly what we do in this fleeting world matters little, for the future is cold. However, just because life is bound to end, and the human race is guaranteed extinction, doesn't mean idiots like you and me need to spend time pitying ourselves and going back to our diaries and saying, "Jesus Christ, I used to be so terrible." In any case, I don't give a damn, and neither should you. Past is past; don't waste your time thinking on "maybes" and "used to be."
Seriously, depression: Fuck that shit, bro.
Get your name off the fucking internet. Now. There's a reason sites allow for user names and aliases: safety. I couldn't care less if you were stalked by some sick fuck and then raped, but I'll be damned if I'm gonna let it start on FimFN. Why? Easy. This site doesn't have very much in the way of legal protection. Any scrutiny by the mass media could turn out to be a bad thing, as lawyers love their foolish little copyright infringement lawsuits.
Okay, so I care a little bit. Shut up.
Just get your name out of here before you get yourself killed, okay?
...and edit your damn posts. If you're gonna be emo, do it with proper English.
66980To true but meh that's all old news and I'm feeling better,. About the grammer mine's always been fucked up and I never rewrite my posts especially when they are no longer accurate. Realy all you've said is stuff I've already taken into account and I just felt the want to reflect I don't think "what ifs" and "maybes" I just like to ocasionally think of the "Used to be" and don't worrk I plannedfor that and figure meh I'm fine with the risk. Names don't matter when they have no location or if they know me then well I realy could care less. It'd just make it so I can't decide when to become a public brony is all.
67546
Replied via PM.
Write a collection of poems, sad and loosely connected (if you want). The poems are good, filled with emotion that rivets the soul. I would love more