On Sex in Romance · 7:46am Mar 16th, 2015
I don't think that sex scenes in romance are "necessary"; for many stories, depending on tone, mood, intention, etc, they would be extremely superfluous. I don't believe they should be described in lengthy, erotic detail in many stories, either, even though that is what some consider most "gratifying" about them.
My belief is only that, as human beings, sex and romance are inextricably linked.
Consider the following: the content of a story is not nearly as important as the context of the story. This is true both within fictional worlds and outside of them as well. Consider a story that was 200 pages long, that had three major characters and about twenty minor characters, and revolved around a youth's journey to become a Wizard. There are actually many books that can be described like that, but the thing that differentiates Harry Potter from So You Want to be a Wizard is the feelings you have about the events, the connections you have to the characters, your desire to see them grow, prosper, and the message that the book leaves you with. The basic fact that both of these books revolve around a mundane character becoming a Wizard is relatively arbitrary to the experience. It's the execution and so forth that gives any action in the book their weight.
Many people say that sex is unnecessary in romance because it doesn't contribute anything worthwhile to the story as a whole. As a counterpoint, consider what eating food has to do with romance? Very little at all, and yet in almost every romance you'll see the two love interests sharing a meal. Why? The act of eating food is actually even FURTHER removed from romance intrinsically than the act of sex is. Sex is innately interesting, and involves the two character's feelings and passions directly. It is intrinsically an expression of the core of what you're trying to write. Eating food, however, must be imparted any relevance to the romance at hand: it must contextually exist as a carefully prepared gift from one character to another. It must be made into a gift, or a display of kindness or affection.
All of these things can be imparted onto sex as well: the sheer act of sex itself can be a character moment for two love interests, it can show them growing together, learning more about each other, and a plethora of other things.
The argument that it is unfitting and simply distracts from the romance, then, does not hold up with me.
Whether or not you're personally comfortable, or appreciative of them as subject matter is a different matter entirely. The author, I think, shouldn't worry him or herself too much about the biases that each individual reader brings to a story (unless they're trying to sell their work, of course). Doing so is impossible.
If you have any other counterpoints or comments, I'd love to hear them.
One of the most important principles of storytelling is that if a scene doesn't serve a concrete purpose for the story, it has no place in the story. A scene involving sex can add value to a story by developing character, plot, and setting just as much as a scene without sex can.
There is nothing wrong with writing anything, in my mind, no matter how objectionable or controversial someone may think it is. The writer has no obligation to include or exclude any content, and the reader has no obligation to like or even read it. It's a simple transaction.
Read what you love. Write what you love. Make sex.
Hmm. I wouldn't call sex the core of romance as much as the climax, pardon the pun. It's the same for most actions, including eating: first, you feel hunger, then you make food, then you eat the food, then you rest.
However, as sex is often much more active than other things, even when it's calm, it should be handled well and placed in the right location. If the characters just went through several hours of endless tension in a hostage situation, and are exhausted now that they survived, they're not likely going to have the energy for a dramatic sex scene, and the readers probably won't either. In that case, it's better to do without it.
But I don't see the benefit of removing sex when it is what would normally happen, as is the case for a lot of romance. The only argument I could think of to remove sex where it would normally take place would be to satisfy prudes. However, if satisfying that niche will end up hurting the story by removing a climax and disturbing the flow, then it's probably better to ignore them. I also agree that you shouldn't worry about the readers' biases, especially if you're not getting paid.
Ahhh, a subject near and dear to my penis. I mean heart.
No but seriously you're right on the money. Sex isn't always necessary, but the same can be said of pretty much any potential plot point or subject matter; it is a tool, with a variety of appropriate (and inappropriate) scenarios for using it. Hell, 'romance' isn't even a prerequisite, depending on the story you're telling, but that's a tangent for another day, and we're talking about romance fics in particular, in which case there is absolutely a higher concentration of scenarios where sex is an appropriate tool to use.
So if the bottom line of all this is you writing more story-driven, super-romantic, super-hot sex, as always you have my support.