Review of "Dear Diary..." for the Sunset Shimmer Review Exchange. · 12:37am Mar 12th, 2015
Dear Diary: Sunset Shimmer's Best Friend
By Piquo Pie
Word count ~ 14,763
Alrighty then... I have never done this before. 
But like everything I do for the first time, I guess I'll just jump right in and hope for the best... just like writing most of my stories I guess lol.
But seriously, the story I'm reviewing for the Sunset Shimmer Story Swap Thread is the story of the thread runner, Piquo Pie. I decided to do his story for many the same reasons as he choose mine. I even feel that if we had known about each other's stories beforehand we could have easily wrote them to go hand in hand. 
In this review I'll basically be detailing how I felt while reading. If you don't care about my feelings though, 
or just want to see my review/rating without spoilers, 
the overall below this is all you need to read. Please note that I'm not a, what you call, "pro" reviewer, and as a result most of these are my own opinions. Also spoilers.
Overall
Starting off, I've never read an epilepsy epistolary story before and at first I was hesitant because I never was a fan of first person stories. It also didn't help that the first chapter was, at first glance, just a recap of what happened before and during the first movie. But hopping in anyway I instantly found two things; A) Piquo is a better writer than me since I could see that writing in this format must have taken some practice. Not to mention, the grammar mistakes were nearly nonexistent, considering. And 2) I really started to get into this format since it gave an accurate and emotional representation of Sunset's mental, and later on physical, state of being.
In contrast to my story which focuses on the psychological aspects of Sunset's consequences. Piquo's, I feel, focuses on the physical. To explain further, my story focuses on how Sunset beats herself up over her actions and refuses the friendship of others. In Piquo's, other's beat up Sunset and she accepts it as punishment, but as a result quickly latches on to the friendship offered to her by the girls. This is a good thing, as we can see two different, equally valid ways of depicting Sunset's life after the movie. Fortunately Piquo does an amazing job by focusing on how Sunset feels about the events as they happen, as well as providing insight on her motivations. He also does a good job in trying to explain why Sunset feels the way she does. While I still feel that everything happened a bit too fast, with the entire thing only taking place within one week, the story/diary entries themselves were still both an enjoyable and emotional read in that timeframe. The ending also feels like a sequel is a necessity rather than an option. This is very good thing since slice of life stories should never have a definitive end to them, especially a story with diary entries as the viewpoint. SoL stories should also always give the reader notice that life for the character goes on.
Honestly though, my only true gripe for this story is that it probably needed a sad tag. The first chapter mainly focuses on Sunset's tearful reflection of past events in the beginning, and her pessimism and paranoia on the fact that she'll be attacked in the end. There are several instances of her crying throughout the story. Though some are inferred from the context of her writing. A few chapter's later she's proved right and is in fact attacked by a group of nameless bullies. Also, the fact that Sunset treats the diary as a conscious companion and refers to it directly subtly contributes to the overall feeling of loneliness that she is feeling. While the story ends on a high note, I feel that the feels are still present enough to warrant a sad tag.
While the singular focus on Sunset may take away from the characterization of the others, it's never as bad a thing that it takes away from the story as a whole. This story overall was a great insight into Sunset's inner feelings. That's great because now I don't feel as big a jerk for reading her diary. At least not as not as much as if it weren't great. Definitely worth a good recommendation from me, and I would love to work on a story with Piquo Pie sometime. Hint Hint
In depth. SPOILERS AHOY!
