New Year, what's changed? ABSOLUTELY FUCKING NOTHING

In the lowest state I think I've ever been in, and considering I was practically depressed the entirety of last year as well that's saying more than you'd probably assume. Fucking eating disorder's brought out the worst facets in me on a multidimensional level, and I've degenerated into a barely functional waste due to my inability to curb it. Gets worse when you constantly see people who are living an amazingly happy successful life countless times on a daily basis and then go back to the catastrophic failure that is my own in the current time. It triggers some rather... distinctly un-positive emotions.

So many fuck-ups, not a single positive step forward, worsened ten-fold a year later and it's ruining every partition of my life, lowering myself into even deeper degeneracies than thought possible. I know thousands of people live through worse situations every single minute of every hour of every day, but SHIT, I need this baggage off my chest pronto. it's a good thing I'm not suicidal, otherwise I'd probably have thrown myself out a window or dived in front of a truck by now.