Dear Princess Celestia · 7:06am Jul 2nd, 2012
Dear Princess Celestia,
This past month, I learned two important lessons about the nature of emotions and the human mind.
First, I learned that, while I may remain calm and collected in the face of a stressful situation, I shouldn't underestimate the impact it's having on me. The full extent of the emotional fallout simply cannot be measured until the moment when I finally accept that it's over, and let myself relax. Then, and only then, will all the weight I've been carrying come crashing down.
Second, I learned that stress, anxiety, and guilt can form a vicious cycle that can seem nearly impossible to break out of. Oh, this one I knew intellectually already, but the point was well and truly driven home this month. Every responsibility I'd taken on during my better time, and subsequently neglected in my new emotional quagmire, has weighed upon me. And that weight has drained me of motivation, of inspiration, making it all the more difficult to fulfill those responsibilities. Feeding the very situation that spawned it. And even when I finally think I've gotten up the courage to tackle one, whether it's writing, editing, or programming, I find myself shut back down once again by guilt. "Why are you writing when you have seven authors you promised to edit for? (Authors who have, I should add, been incredibly understanding as a whole. For which I thank them.) Why are you editing when you have a thousand people waiting for you to write? And didn't you promise to write someone a Minecraft mod, like, half a year ago now? What even happened to that?"
The human mind can be a terribly self-destructive thing at times.
But I also learned a bit more about a subject that's very near to both our hearts: friendship. I discovered that if I can let my friends help me during these hard times, if I can keep from shutting them out and stubbornly attempting to resolve things on my own rather than burden them with my problems, their assistance can be the thing that finally pushes me to complete that first task. To take the first step on the path to recovery.
One friend in particular deserves special mention in the context of my writing: the perceptive and ever-inquisitive Tseug. His endless stream of questions has prompted me to explore more of my own headcanon, the potential side stories of Perfect For Me, and the physics of Equestrian magic than I ever would have on my own. But more than that, our conversations have kept me firmly engaged in my own story and the greater world of pony fiction at a time when they might otherwise have drifted further and further from my mind, which would have made it even more difficult to pick them back up again, which in turn would have only fed my guilt further. I've even badgered him into doing some editing for me.
And now, with a little help from the magic of friendship, I'm finally getting back into the swing of things. My first chapter of Perfect For Me in what seems like forever has been published, and I can already feel a tiny bit of the stress and guilt lifting because of it. I would say that the most important lesson I've learned this month is the one about friendship: Stand strong on your own, but don't hesitate to let your friends support you when you need help. Their assistance might be just what you need.
Your loyal subject,
The Equestrian Gentlecolt
P.S.: Your faithful student is nitpicking the grammar in my letters to you again. I don't think she quite gets the difference between formal writing and casual correspondance. Please make her stop.
So well written.....sounds like Miss Sparkle herself.....I shall now read this "Perfect For Me" chapter you speak of
*Ten minutes later* SWEET BABY JEBUS1@#!@#!@#!@#we!$#w@ewxd
s/correspondance/correspondence/
Dear princess Celestia,
I apologize in advance, but I can't write a friendship report to you due to the fact that my pencil currently is not working.
A valuable lesson to learn, and a great chapter has resulted from learning it.
I'm very glad to hear your doing a bit better.
Keep in mind you can always bounce ideas off me, or talk about anything on your mind really. I am quite the chatty person as you know.
Any and everything is welcome. Nothing brightens my mood faster then a red number next to the envelope icon.
207254
Aw, darn it. Well, I wrote that without the benefit of a spell checker (don't ask), so if that was my only mistake, I count myself fortunate.
a.deviantart.net/avatars/i/k/iknowthatfeelplz.png
Sounds like you were under some stress! Glad you made it through OK. I hope things just keep getting better from here on out.
(BTW: I've put my story on hiatus due to life until further notice... so no sweat here!)
It's no problem, EQ, we've all been there. I'm still sick like crazy. Just let me know when you do get a chance to look at the stuff I sent. I'm still quite eager to hear what you think!
-Cv
Dear Equestrian Gentlecolt,
I'm afraid I've already gotten a letter about the same lesson at the end of the episode "Applebuck Season". I'm afraid if you can't tell me something else, I have to declare you tardy, sendind you back to magic kindergarten. No pressure, though.
Your benevolent ruler,
Princess Celestia