We Are Not Our Stories · 6:02am Aug 5th, 2012
I know it may (heck- probably will) sound very hypocritical of me, since I've done so in the past. But these last few weeks got me thinking... And I think it's about fucking time I assumed my errors and apologize to everyone whom I might have wronged/hurt (intentionally or not)... even though most won't be able to read this.
It's just... sometimes I forget that I'm dealing with human beings... sometimes I forget that there is a person behind the other side of the screen. A person with the complexity that we cannot even begin to grasp...
And so, I'd like to quote a particular blog post from Miss. AbsoluteAnonymous. Because, even being younger than me, she is far smarter than I.
Warning! Warning! Long-as-fuck-and-extremely-serious blog post ahead!
… ahem. To reiterate. We are not our stories. We are more than that, and I feel sorry for anyone who can’t tell the difference.
Writing is an infinitely private and personal act. Like any art form, it’s an expression of ideas – a means of communicating thoughts that are otherwise difficult to communicate. Sharing these innermost parts of yourself with strangers online is risky; after all, you’re baring your soul to them and there’s nothing stopping them from taking advantage of that. The more heartfelt your work, the more it reveals about yourself and the harder it becomes to share it with others.
But that’s something many people seem to forget.
Yes, you’re sharing a part of yourself with the world, but it’s only ever a part. There’s always more that remains unsaid. If you read a story I’ve written, you may gain a slightly better understanding of who I am, but it’s not even close to the same thing as knowing me as an actual person.
Nobody has the right to judge another author on this site based on their stories alone, and anyone who thinks they do is ignorant. You can judge their quality as a writer, sure, but far too many people see these fics as a reflection of the author’s actual personality. That’s just wrong.
Many things have surprised me about this fandom since I first joined nearly a year ago, but perhaps the biggest surprise is the way innocent stories can draw such hate from bronies who otherwise preach the message of love and tolerance. I was aware that such things could happen in mainstream media, but I never really saw it at work before. Now, though, I can watch hatred work in real time. It disturbs me.
Nobody has ever been hurt by fiction. People are only hurt by the reactions to and intentions behind fiction. If you read something offensive, the words haven’t hurt you; the intention of the author to hurt you has hurt you. And if you read a story you don’t like, you don’t like it. Plain and simple. Nobody says you have to. It hasn’t damaged you in any way, and it will only be a problem if you continue reading it.
Nobody is forcing you to read anything on this site, so if you don’t find something enjoyable, just close it and find something else. If you consider a story damaging in some way, you have the option to stop reading it and start avoiding it at any time. Unless the author has gone out of their way to personally cause you suffering somehow, they’ve done nothing wrong to you and don’t deserve to be treated as though they have.
If you don’t like a story, fine. But the author is not the story. The story may be an expression of who they are, but they’re still completely separate entities. It’s not that complicated. Hating a story is not an excuse for hating the person who wrote it; that’s a petty, spiteful thing to do and reflects on you more than them.
Other people are not failed attempts at being you. In real life, you will occasionally meet people who prefer different hobbies than you. You yourself may despise said hobbies, but as long as they’re not forcing them on you, they’re not hurting you in any way and you’re by no means justified in treating them cruelly as a result. Passionately hating someone who enjoys writing HiE fics or something just because you yourself don’t like them makes about as much sense as my hating the entirety of my school’s basketball team just because I don’t like sports.
Sounds pretty stupid, doesn’t it? Now imagine if I started spamming the members of said team with hate mail, used my blog to denounce them, and loudly proclaimed to everyone listening that I despised them and thought they should go die in the hopes that they’d disband the team. Doesn’t that sound a tad excessive?
That’s the kind of thing I see on this site all the time, yet people seem proud of doing it. They gloat about it like it’s a major accomplishment. It reminds me of that woman my mom works with who once wrote to the Prime Minister asking him to ban hockey in Canada because she thinks it’s too violent. She’s never been hurt by it herself, but she still doesn’t like it and resents people who do.
I think the most famous example of this would have to be ROBCakeran35’s My Little Dashie. Some people love it. Some people hate it and have apparently dedicated their lives to ensuring that no one they know ever mistakes it for a good story, mocking it at every turn. I myself don’t like it, but I end it there. I don’t go out of my way to cause trouble.
I believe that the purpose of writing is the expression and sharing of ideas and that the measure of success is not how popular or well-liked you are, but how satisfied you are with what you do. If you read a story and find something in it that you appreciate, that’s fine, but if you don’t, that’s also fine. The story hasn’t hurt you, nor is it hurting anyone else simply by existing. The purpose of a story is to share ideas, and these people just happened to agree with and enjoy the ideas expressed - that’s why so many liked it. If My Little Dashie has truly emotionally affected so many people, why would you want to take that away from them just because you yourself were left empty after reading?
Words can’t hurt you, guys. All words do is offer a way of communicating thoughts. Some you’ll agree with, some you won’t. They can help you to better understand yourself, but they can’t damage you. The damage only exists if someone chooses to react in a damaging way. Why would you hate someone for thinking differently than you?
Despising authors for their stories makes no sense to me, but neither does despising stories in general. When I dislike something, it’s the absence of like. This active hatred just confuses me.
I’m notorious amongst my friends for being a very biased shipper. For example, I can’t stand TwiPie or AppleDash. This doesn’t give me the right to personally attack writers of these ships or demand that they justify their thinking differently from me. If I were to loudly begin insulting every such fic I found and wishing for the author to suffer based on that reason alone, I would come across as a jerk incapable of forming coherent thought or logical reasoning.
If you don’t like a fic, don’t read it. It can’t hurt you if it’s unread. It’s only when you allow it to influence you that it causes any sort of harm. And try to remember that authors are not their stories. Most of us are actual, real people with actual, real feelings. When we’re insulted or mocked for what we’ve written, you’re hurting actual, real human begins whom you don’t even know well enough to begin judging.
I mean, sure, I’m writing a story about pony cannibalism, but that doesn’t mean I’m a cannibal. It just … I should probably stop now.
Tl;dr version: DON’T BE A DICK TO PEOPLE JUST BECAUSE YOU DON’T LIKE THEIR STORIES.
This is not me trying to right your wrongs. This is not me pointing out that how you (may have) acted is (was/will be) wrong. This is not me asking for your opinion upon what happened/happens/will happen.
This is not directed to any of you.
This is me apologizing. And that is all.
I AM SO OFFENDED BY THIS I AM GOING TO UNFOLLOW YOU SO HARD.
203607 >MFW you took me seriously.
203616
desmond.imageshack.us/Himg16/scaled.php?server=16&filename=lolfxy.jpg&res=landing
This?
your awesome nuff said
I accept your apology.
I still love you.
Well... That's another person smarter then me(referring to both bloggers involved here). Not that I've hated on people regulalry for their stories, but I've had hateful thoughts cross my mind... ironic when you consider I write one of those 'sub-genres' of Fics people dont really seem to like BECAUSE ITS BEEN SPAMMED SO MUCH (takes a deep breath, and relaxes...).
Some people believe we are all good on the inside. I'd like to disagree. We all have the capability to be horrible creatures within us, just as much as we have to be wonderful human beings. It's all on how you choose to act. I choose, most of the time, to not identify HiE with a horrible person, because I don't know the whole story, and I'd like to THINK most of the time others do the same, but...
And I do not think you should apologize. It happens to the best of us (I say that even though I am clearly not the best of us). Remorse is a good quality though. The people whom are described, the people who seem proud of their hatred... they're the ones more deserving of the hate. At least, that's my opinion.
Well, this is a lesson we all have to learn eventually. The internet and real life aren't that far apart, and even if you don't take what's said in the net seriously, those who do can be very hurt.
I accept your apology, too (even if I haven't been wronged personally).
wow...thank you for sharing her blog post. I can't help but agree wholeheartedly. I know my stories are not for everyone and I don't mind it when people say that they didn't like the ending/concept/inclusion of that one character/ect. because they are entitled to prefer doing things a different way and just not liking the story. What bugs me is when people state that they know why I wrote something that way and they assume my motives and critique me on who I am instead of what I wrote. Those are the comments that discourage me the most.
Anyway, sorry for ranting. Thanks for posting this.
203863 I'm slowly learning not to let those comments get to me. Honestly, I write stories just because I have to get them out of me somehow. They'll bug me and constantly canter around my head until I write them. So yeah, I'm learning that it's ok to ignore some comments. lol
I'm posting again (just like in AA's original post):
youchew.net/wiki/images/f/fd/Slow-Clap.gif
203677 You welcome. I kinda did same thing judging people on there fan fics when I started reading fan fics for the first time. However it was a new thing for me when I started, because I always assume all fan fics were nothing but perverted stories. Man I was wrong. Now I know better.
203616 e.deviantart.net/emoticons/t/trollface.png
But an author doesn't just express himself into a work of fiction. He also expresses his ideals and thoughts that he feels obligated to show. Although yeah I know a lot of people can act like total assholes but sometimes people feel revolted and disturbed and disgusted when something shows harm or disregard for other things like all human beings feel or sometimes writing ideals and stuff that would intentionally target viewers or subtly discredit them also sparks a bit of hatred in them.. Or when they sometimes write inhumane stories that they feel is abominable like stuff with serial killers and cannibals and such and whatever people fear, idk.It's a matter about how people view them on a moral or ideal side than a so called 'critique' or an angry entitled fantard review. (Like people hate human and pony or OC and pony pairings and they just don't like that because they just don't for the sake of whatever. That's more of a 'don't like don't read' story.) But that's my thoughts.
yes it is annoying when an author is just writing normal (quote unquote normal) stories can get a bit... well... discredited because they don't like it.
Oh and idk what you did but apology accepted anyways because I have no clue and I read the quote blog. XD