My mothers review of "The Alicorn King's Glare"

Well, to start off your punctuation is terrible.

Yes. Yes it is. Carry on.

You do seem to hit home when you want something to be sad or meaningful, I'm sure if I actually WATCHED the show, it would have more of an impact.

Thank you. I like to think I can depress people.

Your twists are well handled, though again, it would probably be more significant if I watched the show.

Danke.

The one major problem is Seraphim Glare.

Uh oh.

You seem to have made him evil for evils sake. You worked overtime in making him HATABLE, but didn't spend a lot of time developing HIM. His motivations are hazy, and his endgame seems unclear.

That's...! Actually kind of accurate...

Don't get me wrong, as a VILLAIN he's perfect. Hateable, cruel, and IMMENSLY threatening, as a CHARACTER however he's a bit lacking.

Sooo... He's Sauron?

.... I suppose, yeah...

I'll TAKE it!

Comments

[pokefreak13]

Nice!
...maybe I should have my mom look my stories over.

[gamexpert1990]

You seem to have made him evil for evils sake. You worked overtime in making him HATABLE, but didn't spend a lot of time developing HIM. His motivations are hazy, and his endgame seems unclear.

That's...! Actually kind of accurate...

And still more effort was put into him than some fanfic villains out there...