Z Reviews: Pinkie Pie is Dead · 6:25am Nov 28th, 2014
This time's review will be of Pinkie Pie is Dead , authored by The Maverick, reviewed by me, TheifofZ. If you like this review, check my blog for other reviews, or follow this link to go to the post containing the mission statement and a list of all the stories I've reviewed so far.
As always, here's how I'll be doing this; First I'll cover the story idea, and writing style and quality of the story. Next, I'll look at the actual story itself, including character motivation, action (if the story has any), and the general plot. Finally, I'll throw down my egotistical and opinionated rating, declaring exactly how good, or bad, I thought this was. And yes, I will do my best to avoid spoilers for the plot IF POSSIBLE. If the spoiled events are integral to the story, I'll throw down spoiler warnings instead, and ask that you proceed with caution. Always remember, folks. This is all opinion. Disagree with me? Think I'm dead wrong, or spot on? Argue about it in the comments if you want. It's cool. Noone has a truly humble opinion, after all, but make sure you read the review first.
Caution: Spoilers: This review contains many, and massive, spoilers. If you haven't read this story yet, and actually intend to, then make your choice now. Either leave now and come back after reading, skip any section marked with either a Spoilers heading or the black spoiler bars, or read the entire review and spoil everything major about it. Remember, guys. I don't have a red memory wiping device, so no takebacks allowed. All choices are final. From here on out I'll assume any who continue have either read the story, have their blindfolds at hand, or are the kind of person who reads the end of the book first. If you are none of these... Make peace with your gods, and may you forgive yourself in the end. :End Caution
With that out of the way... Here we go!
So I've always been a fan of Film Noir stories. Not a big one, and it's no guilty pleasure, but it's something I familiarized myself with as I grew up. At the same time, mysteries are.. well, I one of my favourite series when I was young was the Hardy Boys. Take that as you will. So it should come as no surprise when I actually really enjoyed the premise of, and general story that is Pinkie Pie is Dead. The core concept is simple compared to the last story I reviewed. It's a simple, straight forward Murder Mystery, including a Hardboiled and down on his luck Detective as the main character. I could practically hear the growl in his voice as I read through the chapters, even. The writing is very well done, and placing myself in the scene was almost seamless... right up till the dramatic reveal of Whodunnit, which, unfortunately, was so jarring and out of left field that my willing suspense of disbelief was shattered. That, though, will be covered later.
The story follows the ever-surly Detective Sideways as he begins to unravel the mystery of who killed Pinkie Pie, and why. No, Pinkie being killed is not a spoiler, it's right there in the title. And the preview. ... You get the point. Several points throughout the plot jarred me from my usual suspense of disbelief, and felt that either they were poorly phrased or direct conflicts between story and style. The worst of these comes from Detective Sideways, who early on clearly matches to the hardboiled Detective stereotype, including a hatred and antagonistic attitude toward authority including the Princesses. However, when he meets them, he assumes the standard Pony Meeting Alicorn deference and awe, and does nothing to indicate any feelings that were previously brought up. Overall, aside from a few flaws like these, the story follows the standard procedure of Meet the Suspects and Gather Clues, followed by Discover Supposed Criminal Who Is Actually Innocent, and then the twist, followed by a Dramatic Standoff and then a short fight to the death. Even with a somewhat... systematic style to the story though, the scenes between the grieving ponies and Detective Sideways are all fairly touching, and are, for the most part, very well done.
The characterization seemed fairly strong, aside from inconsistencies, and I had no trouble believing how each pony acted... but the twist ending seemed forced and unpleasant, as if the author either didn't know how to incorporate the idea well, or was grasping at threads. The final fight scene, though, was again, fairly well executed. The action was clear, concise, and felt tense and fast paced, and while I wasn't surprised to have such a violent fight scene, I was pleased to see the story, not plot, resolved well.
Spoilers
Seriously, the fact that Gummy, Pinkie Pie's pet Gator would ruthlessly, cruelly murder Pinkie Pie just because he saw real alligators once and felt weak and powerless compared to them? Really? That was it? ... especially with the giant plot hole of: Isn't it likely it's not the first time he went to the zoo and saw them? And then after that deciding to murder Rarity? This shows a level of understanding of Pony Society that Gummy shouldn't even have, even if we assume that he's as intelligent as a normal pony. This part, right here? Ruined it for me. The fact that at the very end of the story, it seems like the entire thing was a set up for a pun, rather than the pun following naturally from the story, did not help my appreciation for the matter.
End Spoilers
Overall, I give the story 6 and a half mustaches, and 3 out of 5 murdered Pinkies. 
Any opinions or major points you'd like to make go in the comments below. Advice, Major Corrections, story suggestions, and fan mail can be PM'd to me. ... if I ever get fans. HAH! 
Final note: I like Film Noir for a reason, but that reason was not twist endings reminiscent of M. Night. Shamalamadingdong. As much as I want to give it a better rating, there's a reason that everyone hates M. Night Shyamalan. Stick to endings that make sense if you're going to write a mystery. Please!
I've always had a soft spot for this story. It's an evil little trick, but I love the reveal that this story was a comedy the whole time. Then again, I have a soft spot for M. Night, too.
I suspect that focusing more on reviewing less-popular authors will get you more viewership. Comment-starved authors love to read in-depth reviews like this.
My next fan recommendation is Flight, Failure, Faith and Family.
Well, I'm going to agree to disagree on that.
I suspect you're right. Your next fan recommendation, though, will have to wait. I set up a system, and Lo, Imma have to follow it. Also I may have other requests by then, so I'll have to wait and see. It's been taken on board, though.
Hilariously, though, the next story I chose for review, A New World, A New Conflict, appeared in the Featured box shortly after I chose it. So... that's fun.