Funniest Phone Call in My Life · 6:26pm Nov 26th, 2014
Edit: I had little emoticons for each line of dialogue, but for some reason they aren't appearing.
So I'm at home relaxing on my computer when my land line rings. Wondering who it could be, I pick up and am greeted by a thick indian accent individual stating that they have detected viruses on my computer, and are wanting to help me. I was astounded that, whoever they are, had found viruses on my computer that I had reimaged only a few days ago, and asked who he is. Apparently, there exists an online web support for both Apple and Microsoft products, and are above them in level (his description).
I breath out an thank you to him in awe of their incredible ability to see into my computer, say I would love to get rid of my viruses, and ask what to do. The below lines are near verbatim. 'S' is for Support, and 'M' is me. I'm sure many of you can imagine another word for 'S' given the nature of this call.
S: Okay, sir, we need to confirm your computers serial number. Please look at your keyboard.
M: Alright, looking at it now. S: On the bottem left, do you see the 'C', 'T', 'R', 'L' key?
M: You mean control? S: Yes, sir, control. Now, do you see the button next to it that has a little flag with four windows?
M: ... the windows key? S: Yes, sir. Please hit that and the 'R' key at the same time. You must press both without lifting your fingers.
M: Alright, I did it. S: Okay, sir. Now, what do you see?
M: ... a little white box appeared! S: Good, sir. What does it say?
M: It says 'Run'! S: Good, sir. Now, please enter in the box C as in Cali.
**Note, the phone call was very quiet and his accent was as thick, so it took a couple of times for him to repeat it before I understood**
M: Okay, I entered 'C'. S: Okay, sir. Now please enter 'S' for suger, and 'D' for dog.
M: Done. Besides where he is going with this, I am wondering why people can't just use the NATO phonetic alphabet instead of random ass words. S: Okay, sir. What is on your screen now. M: A black box appeared! S: Good, sir. Do you see white text with a flashing line?
M: I-I think so. Yeah, I see it! S: Good, sir. Now please enter 'Assoc'.
**Being a command I've never used, a quick Google search showed me what it's supposed to bring up, as well as forum posts of people having the same call**
M: Okay, I did it. S: Good, Sir. Now at the bottom, can you please read me off the serial number after CLSID so I can confirm your computer? M: ... Sir, I just want to inform you that I am a Network Admin at my company, and this is the worst scripted scam I have ever heard. S: Please, sir. Can you tell me the serial number so I can confirm your computer?
M: How about you tell me the serial number you have jotted down for me, and I'll tell you if it's right or not?
S: ...
M: Your script doesn't account for that question, does it? S: **Click**
It is true that I am a network admin, and I won't deny there are plenty of things in the IT field that I need to learn, I've never needed reason to use or look for CLSID despite my recent dive into Powershell and COM objects/Net. If anyone has experience working with it and its uses, please comment and let me know/correct/inform me of it's uses, but a quick glance shows that it is used for applications to for accessing servers/containers, and while I have yet to reach out into that realm of arcane IT, I hardly have any inclination to give it out. Still, I was silently grinning at each step as this guy horrendously guided me through. If any of you have a similar call, please, treat yourself and play along just until the moment of actually giving out the information. Ask how they manage to get Apple and Microsoft to work for them, and throw any technobabble their way while playing dumb to hear their response. These guys are spending their time trying to fish for information, might as well use it to annoy the shit out of them to make them regret ever calling you. It certainly made my night.
Also, if you claim your cat hopped onto the keyboard and closed all the windows, they will begin at step one again. See how many times he will repeat it before getting angry or hanging up.
These people are impossible sometimes...
Glad I never had to put up with this crap.
This happened to me just a few weeks ago. The same guys asked me to the do the stuff you had to do, and then I later hung hup because my bulls**t meter was off the charts.
Hilarious xD
I don't have a phone.
UNTOUCHABLE!!!!!!!!!!!
2617791 That picture... may I have a link?
Absolutely glorious. You, sir, are a hero to telemarketing victims everywhere.
My serial number is D-R-O-P- -A-L-L- -T-A-B-L-E-S