So apparently I got "Rage Reviewed" ...if you can even call it that? · 12:34am Nov 20th, 2014
Like the title says, my story Five Minutes at Freddy's got a review at Rage Reviews and, honestly? I found it to be quite... lackluster.
You can find the review here (be respectful when going there, the reviewers there are professional enough to keep the rage directed at the story and not the author, so I don't want any of you to start any sort of flame war over there, alright? That place is a safe haven for people to air out their frustrations for fics they hate and I will not be responsible for having that compromised).
Now anyways, when I first saw that my story was added to the Rage Reviews group in the overrated section, I was honestly excited. Seriously! I thought that this would be a great opportunity to finally be able to hear and understand the opinions of someone who didn't like a story of mine, because, honestly, I get a little miffed every time I see a down-vote without an explanation as to why. And I'm sure that many of you writers are that way too; criticism is good and I want to hear it.
But then came the review...
I was hoping that the review would be the cold, non-opinionated analysis that would dismember my story apart piece-by-piece while the critic explained why it was so terrible, or, at the very least, a fury-infilled inferno of hate that the group is infamous for and would have surely been entertaining to read.
But instead, I got, well... a review from a guy who looked at my story, knew right away what the premise was, didn't much care for the premise, read the story, and then was sorely disappointed that I delivered exactly what my premise was about.
...What?
It's like if a guy who didn't like chocolate bought a box clearly labeled 'chocolate' and then took it home, opened it, found it to be contained with nothing but chocolate much to his displeasure, and then wrote a note of discrepancy to the company that made it.
But you know what? Fine, I get it. I can forgive the reviewer for diving into something that he knew he wouldn't like. This guy is a veteran rage reviewer, it's what they do.
What I can't forgive is just how lackluster his review was. I mean, where was the emotion, the hate, the rage for crying out loud!? And yes, I know that he thought that my story was boring, he gave it a Rage Level: Meh, and he expressed how hard it was to make jokes about my story because it was so boring, even going so far to say that it was the most boring story he ever read, but that's frankly no excuse to let his review be dull too. I mean, he should drop some gifs of people slowly falling asleep, cry out to the heavens of how this story was so boring that it caused him to die and reincarnate as a sea sponge, post some pictures of un-amused people for every time he thought that one of my jokes fell flat, don't just say that my jokes are terrible, express it.
I can only hope that someday he can better free the hate welled up inside of him, because for critics, hate is a beautiful emotion that can be used for good.
But besides that, I suppose the one good thing I can take away from this is that on the sliding scale of despicable vs. entertaining, the worst that my story can be is just flat, neutral boring.
Never really was interested in the Freddy's games, I read your story, was slightly amused by Rainbow's flailing, and moved on.
Now if this was a Rage review of one of your Tutelary Spirit stories... Then I'd be more interested and probably read the review who's link you posted.
.... You should have gone with vanilla. When in doubt, go vanilla.
he needs to channel his inner spoonyone
"cry out to the heavens of how this story was so boring that it caused him to die and reincarnate as a sea sponge,"
Let's be honest, such an assertion would make any review an award-winner. (I seriously busted out laughing when I read that, so many points to you for sheer randomness).
I briefly skimmed your fanfic before I found this (I'm not a horror fan regardless) and honestly thought it was rather entertaining. But that might be because I have the same opinion you expressed as your reason for writing the story, that being that this is exactly how I would react to playing it. I may have felt some deep satisfaction at the mental image of the place and its horrifying residents being, as you put it, "Friendship-beamed into the ground." So you have my sympathy that your fanfic did not get the rage-review you desired, but I hope it gives you some small comfort that another person looked at your fic and was nodding in emphatic agreement at the turn of events by the end of the page.
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It does; it does give me that satisfaction. Thank you.