Quitting Writing · 5:47pm Nov 13th, 2014
After I finish those stories, my moral obligation to keep my word will have been fulfilled and I can move on with my life.
I've come to realize that I'm not cut for this and it will be best if I quit before I waste anyone else's time with stories that are mediocre at best.
Then there's the fact that I've come to hate doing this and there have been a few stupid comments or decisions I've made, which lead me to avoid certain groups and users.
The stupid mistakes made since I joined this site;
-I quit writing TwiDash stories, left the group, and avoid its members like the plague after a series of stupid mistakes and a member who personally insulted me in a comment of a story and even though they apologized, I'd rather not risk running into them again.
-Enjoying the Nightmare Rarity concept from the shitty IDW comics, I had made a group for her back when I actually enjoyed that crap before the Katie Cook crack-fic pairing arc a.k.a 'Let's ignore all the cool shit and focus on a forced romance with a horribly self-centered, hypocritical, and incompetent Celestia and an alternate Sombra even more bland than the canon one.'
But, hey character consistency is a form of continuity and who gives a flying fuck about that, right? We don't even have that in our own arc! Why are Celestia and Luna affected by their alternates, but Sombra is still alive and the alternate Mane Six don't get hurt when their counterparts do? If Celestia was so worried about Luna, why did she abandon and avoid talking to the real one, instead of trying replace her like an expendable asset? Why was Luna, who has well-known self-esteem issues, forgiven her almost immediately for the neglect? Who cares! This is for kids and they're idiots!
Sorry about the rant, but Cook and Price's contempt for the fanbase and the insulting notion that it's intelligent not to think and the insultingly poor consistency and characterization within the arc itself, and Cook's lack of respect for writing in general-(the last of which, I find infinitely more insulting) is what made me quit the comics altogether and I left the Nightmare Rarity group to make it very clear that I don't support shoddy writing like that or consider this crap canon any longer, combined with my reaction to knighty's contempt for us-but, maybe that's why my stories don't hold up to criticism too well-I overthink and that leads to more problems.
-I wasted time and energy creating group for the Shining Dash ship after realizing that if I didn't want to be stuck dealing with the TwiDash group again or risk them adding one of my stories to their group, I had to write something new after being inspired by Rainbooms and Royalty-which was a mistake-it's a crack pairing that only a handful of people care about.
I just wanted to generate interest for another Dash pairing that I liked, which wasn't focused on a guy whose only character trait is "durr hurr! pie!" or someone who has "Eeyup" or "Nope" the extent of his character dialogue, minus the scene from "Ponyville Confidential" and Shining Armor seems like the only stallion in the show that didn't feel dumb, boring, or annoying (in Braeburn's case) to me, I wasn't trying to cram the pairing down anyone's throat-it was just an idea that I liked.
-A vitriolic comment from a user spurred me to delete a handful of stories, which subsequently lead to one follower to get pissed at me, despite the fact that they were 'tired, cliche', utter trite and well-deserving of a thumbs-down' as well as bitching about the Twilicorn story written before Magical Mystery Cure and assumed that it was new and that I was still
upset about it, prompting me to delete that entire Doctor Whooves storyline.
-When I hit 21 earlier this year I became horribly depressed and suicidal before joining 'Feeling Suicidal? Talk with Us' before going on a rant about how I wanted to end my life and wishing my parents had aborted me (which is still true), since I don't do anything but write shitty fiction, am unemployed, and had no real life goals and my continued existence is only a drain on the world's resources and was hoping that some troll would give suggestions for foolproof suicide methods (since I was in an extremely dark place and not thinking straight) before being called a 'self-centered little prick, and a selfish jackass' by one user and when I apologized and listed the numerous issues I was dealing with the group founder typed out an annoyed sigh.
-knighty's tweet last month-you know the one-about how we're 'the worst kind of autistic sperglord faggots who should kill ourselves', if people with autism aren't welcome here, then I should probably just leave so I don't taint his 'perfect' site-since I can't really guarantee suicide, not having access to a gun.
-One-Shotober; last year I was irritated because I caught the flu and had to waste time sleeping and trying to recover instead of focusing on writing, while this year I learn that the entire event is despised by the vast majority of the site and someone who didn't finish the challenge is reviewing all of them and none of my stories seem to hold up very well under actual scrutiny and rather than turn into Cook and become a hypocrite by criticizing those criticizing my work's flaws or make an outrageous claim like they're thinking about it too much, I will be taking the high road and acknowledge that my stories are bad.
I don't know if they're irredeemably so, but my overthinking of stories seem to lead to more flaws and my inability to trust others enough to get someone else to edit them have convinced me that I'm not really cut out for writing.
-Giving in to peer pressure and continuing This Night Aria in an effort to avoid more of the same complain from cropping up every time someone new read the story, combined with the looming threat of the aforementioned review, despite having no idea how I'm going to get from point A to point B in the story with only a vague idea of what few moments will be interspersed between those moments.
-Continuing Shining Dash, last month I wanted to have it cancelled and had labelled it as such before more parts of the story stuck in my head and I felt compelled to get them out and deliver on what I promised with a full story, which is another story keeping me tethered here for the time being-again, due to a sense of obligation, especially since this another story that does not hold up well in the face of criticism.
All of this and my inability to listen to criticism without taking it personally are why I believe it would be best if I quit and look for another career option.
Aw, don't do that, quitting is never an option
Take a break...do not quit ! No, really, there are a lot of us that awaits egarly for your updates.
My attitude hasn't particularly changed. It truly does sound like you'd be est getting some counseling or finding someone to talk to. I wish you luck regardless of what you choose.
Sad to hear, but if you are really having this many issues; you might need to consider a counselor.
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I have had several therapists throughout my lifetime, I've been seeing different ones since I was five.
The first one only worked with small children so I only saw her when I was five.
One recommended me to someone else after a few years.
Another moved to Arizona and her replacement would yell at me when I actually did opened up after much prompting about how my feelings were wrong.
The guy I'm currently working with I've been having sessions with for the past two years and after how judgmental the last guy was, I don't trust him enough to open up completely with my issues and how I feel about things.
So, it hasn't really been helping too much.