Review: Fallout Equestria: Tales of a Dashite, Chapter 3 · 1:45am Nov 4th, 2014

Well, here we are again, folks. Er... I mean... one audience member.

So, I just got done reading this chapter and... it was actually pretty damn good. Now, that doesn't make it great, but I enjoyed myself considerably while reading it. So far, this has been the best chapter.

Now, there are still many, many Fallout: Equestria tropes that plague this fic, but once you look around them, and cut them off at the knee, the substance of the story starts really getting to you.

Now I could go on about how much I like this chapter, and all that... but that isn't very entertaining, now is it?

Sadly, there are maggots in the wonderful cream filling of this chapter... and I'll get to them. So, without further delay, let's begin the review!

So, this chapter starts out with our beloved hero, Stand Bold, on some sort of giant lightning-rod thingy. Now, the kick-ass thing about these rods is that they fucking obliterate anything that comes too close to the clouds. So, that's fucking metal. Good start.

He looks down and sees a bunch of guards and they are just fucking about. He easily Solid Snakes past them as they...

But of them, three were seriously performing their job, six were looking at photos of one of the soldier's marefriend, and five were all simultaneously pissing and spitting off the clouds...

Wonderful, that was just amazing. Nothing like a little piss-rain to ruin some ground-dweller's day.

So, our main-man gets out scott-free. Once he sees the surface, he also spots Manehatten. Nice, time to get in some ruin-scathing time.

Almost right off the bat, he gets fucked up by bloodwings, which is actually a pretty neat-o action sequence. Once it looks like he is about to be done in, a standard wasteland savior saves him. Then he passes out, as to trigger the scene transition, moving the plot right along.

And oh god, there are so many things wrong with this next part...

It was at that moment that the corners of my vision began to darken, and my eyes became very heavy. Then the world faded to black.
I was in a dark corridor, clearly on a ship. Was this the back on the Cloud Chaser?
"This can't be right," I heard myself say, "This type of technology shouldn't exist, our laws were designed to prevent this!" The words came from my mouth, but I had no idea why I was saying them. It was as if another force was talking for me.
I was examining a black cylindrical device in my hooves. It was about the length of a sparkle cola bottle, but about three times heavier. Along its side was a blue screen that listed a bunch of letters and numbers. But they appeared jumbled. Like my brain couldn't process the information.
Just then, I heard a mare pony say, "uh, uh, uh, cutsie wootsie Cap'in. You shouldn't be here, General's odors!"
My vision wavered as I fell to my right side, a knife blow on my left shoulder knocking me to the ground. There was no pain though. Just a sensation of wrongness.
"Or was it Generals orders? Eh what'ev. You don't needs no know how on our secwet whittle weapon!"
She walked, uh, skipped? Into view. Here mane was hidden beneath a red and black jesters hat. Her blood red hide and blue eyes seemed to scream psycho pony. And her cutie mark was a knife stabbing through a jokers card.
She wore an enclave uniform, complete with enlisted shoulder boards, the rank of a corporal was on them. She had numerous ribbons and badges. Though none of her uniform devices followed PAR-670-1, the enclaves code for uniform regulation. Her ribbons were in the wrong order, and the badges were thrown about the shirt like Marexican general. And while her name tag did have a name on it, the letters seemed to float around in no particular order.
"Guess its lights out Cap'in," she said, as something hit me from behind and I blacked out.

Yup. Random Harley Quinn pony. Just for the lulz I guess. Anyways, it was just a dream so... it didn't even matter?

Also, this entire section was just one really long cringe. Usually I try to overlook grammatical and spelling errors, but holy shit... that was just...

I've seen some shit, man.

He wakes up in the care of his rescuer, a mare named Tulip Trestle, who has a cool robo-sidekick named B.B. Ding ding, we have a new contender for love interest!

So, she healed him up, and then she tells him that a friend of hers told her to help out. Oh no... please... don't do this. Every FoE fic does this... don't... please... not you too...

Damnit... yup. She was sent by Watcher. Oh Watcher, by this point you are watching and assisting over seven-hundred wastelanders. Don't you have anything... you know... more productive to do? Like help the actually important ones? Like Littlepip... or Blackjack.

Continuing, they find themselves in a firefight, and Tulip gets her leg blown off. Oh. Nevermind about the whole love interest thing. Jeez, i'm really sad she died... I was 'so emotionally attached to her'.

So, he takes her shit, and... buries her in a scene that is actually pretty sad. On her grave-marker, he writes this:

'Tulip Trestle, a good pony'

That... that's something I love about the FoE genre. Apparently, she was something of a wasteland savior, helping ponies out wherever she went. And now, she's gone. Nopony who knew her would ever know, and her story would never be told. All that any passing pony would see would be her grave, just letting them know that she was a good pony.

As much as Bold probably wanted to, he couldn't put anything else there. He barely knew her. That, to me, is really good literature.

So, after that... he just goes. He continues to Friendship City.

So, something that I noticed, is that he didn't add in a scene-transition to the other mare like he usually does... did he just drop that budding story-arc? Meh. I didn't care for it that much anyways, it's just an inconsistency thing.

Welp, this chapter was really fun to read. Any final notes I have would be to just... read it over a few more times... that grammar man... it makes me cry internally.

As always, keep writing.

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