How to get started writing pony fanfiction.

Congratulations! You are the latest aspiring author, soon to spill words onto paper that will surely wow the masses. Being the smart fella’ (or lady) that you are, you have decided to exclusively write My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction. Outstanding choice! As you sit there in front of your monitor, scratching your daft, daft head, you look up and just ask out: “How do I even write pony fanfiction?”. Well, wipe that dumb look off your face, I’ll explain how, you poor, poor dear.

Step 1: Grammer adn puntatiosn. Good grammer are very importate for ritiing your’e pony storys. Witout tis stapl u reeders wood simpley stop reeding aftr teh frist setance.

Step 2: Character. More specifically, original character (or O.C. for the advanced users of the internet.) Who wants to read about the candy-colored characters we have come to know and love? No-one, that’s who. Your stories must be based around your kick-ass O.C. What’s that? You don’t have an O.C. yet? Well, that simply cannot do. First things first, this original character needs to be a bad-ass. Give ‘em a name that means business, like: DeathMetal or Bloodsplosion. Something that really screams awesome. The next step is designing them. Now, there are some simple design rules you must follow: use vibrant colors. The most successful O.C.’s are almost always bright red, and jet black. These colors always strike a positive reaction with people. To make your character even more unique, have them be an Alicorn even more powerful than Celestia and Luna themselves. Heck, Celestia and Luna probably worship your O.C. The final step is to give them a dark and tragic past. Your O.C.’s parent probably didn’t love him (or her) enough and then sent them to an orphanage where they were bullied and abused. Then, in an oh-so-tragic toaster mishap, the orphanage was burnt to the ground, your O.C. being the only survivor, burdened for the rest of their life to have the screams and cries of despair permanently set into their brain. Mhmm. Good. That’s some grade-A backstory right there.

Step 3: Plot. What’s plot? No, seriously, what is it?

Step 4: Shipping. Like any good work of fiction, the natural course of your story will involve your O.C. pairing up with every single mare the show has introduced. (But not the dudes, no-homo, bro.) Now you may be asking me: “But what if the relationship doesn’t seem natural? I don’t really think Fluttershy would be with a pony who brutally murdered an entire family of ducks.” Nonsense! You are the author! Your fingers on that keyboard make magic happen! Your O.C. is going to be pairing up with all of your favorite characters, whether they like it or not.

Step 5: Writing cannon characters. When writing cannon characters, you can be really flexible with their personalities. The writers of MLP:FiM didn’t do the greatest job establishing their characters either, so feel free to take complete creative liberty. All you have to remember are these simple rules for writing the mane six: Fluttershy is shy. RainbowDash is a lesbian (You can tell by her mane). Applejack is a stupid redneck. Pinkie Pie needs to break the fourth wall as numerously and as frequently as possible. Rarity is a whiny, prissy drama queen. And finally, Twilight Sparkle reads books sometimes (I think).

Step 6: Publishing your masterwork. After you have spent about half an hour writing your glorious work of literature, you need to publish it. Now, an amatuer would look at you and say that: “You need a proofreader.” or “You might want to find an editor.” Don’t listen to them. Your work is perfect. I repeat, perfect. It can never get better than the state is is currently in. Now, go quickly! Upload it to FimFiction, and wait for the glorious praise that is to come. Your Newbery medal will be in the mail at this point, I assure you. Once a moderator gets the grace of reading and approving your story, the filthy, unwashed masses will finally be able to be enlightened by it.

Step 7: Dealing with criticism. You have (like every good author) written at the beginning that you will only be accepting constructive criticism. Now, some uneducated punk will think that leaving a snide comment saying that, “Your story didn’t make any sense.” or “What did I just read?” is a funny thing to do. Don’t you dare listen to them. These are haters. Their entire existence is based around hating on you and everything you make. You need to swiftly respond to them, and let them know that you don’t deal with haters, and if they keep it up, you will delete their comment. That’ll show ‘em.

Anyways, this is all you need to know about writing your very own piece of MLP:FiM literature!