That word

I Watch the Moon continues to get good comments and overwhelming approval. In contrast, Heat Death, my first story here, has almost no views, six likes, and three dislikes.

I understand. I really do. Heat Death has no romance, no happily ever after, and is a short, compact work of little import. The thing is; both stories were born from the same source. The both stem from that word that I've been so careful not to say. Heat Death came about when I was in a particularly bad place. I was feeling bad, and watched an episode of FiM on Netflix, and actually cried because of it. It wasn't a happy cry either.

The episode was Magical Mystery Cure. I like that episode. Though there's not much story there, I think it's sweet. The problem is, while gripped in the thrall of... that word, the episode feels like a lie. When you are that far gone, it truly feels like there's no happily ever after. Friends leave without being replaced by new ones. Things go naturally from bad to worse. Your life will be essentially the same day after day, without hope that things will somehow improve. You feel trapped. Helpless.

So, yes. I cried. I cried because I felt like it was a cursedly alluring lie that I wished so very much was true.

Since I'm never fully out of its control, I still feel that way to an extent. If you ever need proof, just look at my avatar, and ask what it might mean to you. I've had that same one for years, across several sites.

So, yeah. Heat Death and I Watch the Moon have the same basic source, but one people love and the other they hate.

I understand. I understand because I hate that word. I hate how much it defines me, and how helpless I feel to it. It's that helplessness I tried to capture in Heat Death. I hate it, and so, it seems, does everyone else.