Outline: Daughter of the First Reign · 9:48am Oct 22nd, 2014
Those whom know me, know that I like having examples to point to, and no more frequent is such an example required than in creating outlines. That said, here is my outline for my story: Daughter of the First Reign.
Bigass fuck-all spoiler warning!
This is the outline! It will spoil every conceivable point in the story.
What do I want to write about? One word idea:
> Domestication.
>> In terms of MLP, how does this idea correlate?
>>> Parenting, specifically adoption could be viewed as a form of domestication if the child was originally raised outside of society.
Premise:
In MLP many sentient creatures live in the wild, and (presumably) raise themselves. Therefore, it must be acceptable for all creatures to do so. Ponys included.
> Assume such a pony exists.
The consequence of adopting that pony would be domesticating it to the standards of a society.
>> Which society? --> Any would work. (Unhelpful)
>>> Which would be most interesting, and why?
A society in the throes of social upheaval, because the "norms" that are being juxtaposed with the "wild" are being called into question. Which heightens the moral ambiguity.
> Does such a society exist in MLP canon? --> Yes.
>> When/Where? --> Both fledgling Equestria and the Crystal Empire in 1,000 ypT, durring the change of leadership from Discord to Celestia/Luna.
>>> What canon events are present to identify that era?
Fall of Discord, Sombra, Crystal Queen & Empire, the "first" Crystal Faire, banishing of NMM, discovery of EoH. (I circled Sombra on my paper)
> Sombra would be an interesting guardian/parent for the wild character. --> Roll-back to pre-crazy.
>> Does pre-crazy exist in canon?
>>> Sort of. Mirror universe example of "good" Sombra. Create more manageable inverse of "good" Sombra. Create conflict in Sombra's loyalties.
Sombra = "dad", Who is the "mom"?
> Sombra overthrows the Crystal Empire, so the Crystal Queen cannot be the "mom".
> Canon: Cadence is the Crystal Princess, [ Castle's Doctrine ]
>> Canon: Cadence transcends to Alicorn status after leaving the Crystal Empire (Twilight Sparkle and the Crystal Heart Spell)
>>> Canon: Cadence lives with a small village while young before transcending ( " " )
>>>> Therefore Cadence is a filly and cannot be the "mom".
>>>>> Cadence must somehow leave the Crystal Empire.
>>>>>> A wizard did it.
>>>>>>> Discord.
>>>>>>>> The Crysal Queen is broken by the loss of her daughter and swears revenge on discord.
>>>>>>>>> Is this goal achievable? No.
>>>>>>>>>> Is it relevant? To be determined.
No other matriarchal role-models exist for default cisgendered pairing (classic mother/father roles).
> Create an OC to fill the role.
Sombra = "dad" OC = "mom"
> Who will likely be more relatable? Mom.
>> Create "daughter" for wild child OC.
>>> Return to this point later.
Check-Point Synopsis:
Location, era, background theme, family determined.
Goals:
The protagonist is the "wild" child OC.
> Sombra is on the OC team.
>> Sombra must defeat the Crystal Queen to overthrow the Crystal Empire (implied by canon).
>>> Characterization of Sombra is not implicitly evil.
>>>> There exists interesting head-canon to why. Can this be incorporated? --> Yes.
Crystal Queen is thereby defined as the "villain".
> She has been characterized by her position and familial ties and goals have been established.
>> Goals must conflict with Sombra's.
>>> Stop-gap to Discord, keep him out with a gigantic bubble --> Canon indicates means exist, and precedent has been set.
>>>> The outsider OC must be able to get in, but no one else, nor can they leave.
--> Outsider OC possess foreign/alien magic.
Sombra's goal is defined --> Escape.
> Why? --> To go home.
>> To whom?
>>> Who exists in this era?
>>>> Princess Platinum (King Sombra)
>>>>> Create familiar relation and use fanon title "of the Steel Ponies"
>>>>>> If P.P. is K.S. daughter, she is outside the city, and not relevant beyond narrative landmark.
>>>>>>> Trio includes Commander Hurricane, and (ugh) something Pudding-head. Can they be re-purposed? --> Yes.
Crystal Empire possesses a military.
> CMDR Hurricane could be in that military.
>> Is this relevant? --> Uncertain.
>>> If Sombra is to make any challenge of the Crystal Queen then her military and commander will become relevant.
>>>> In what way? --> To be determined.
Check-point
Qualified and characterized the environment, and added explorable qualification to the characters.
What is the society, and the "other"?
> Refined --> Untamed
> Educated --> Wild/violent
> Political bullshit --> Simple goals
>> Goal is overly simplified (Return to this point).
> Well spoken/careful phrasing --> Mute
>> Better for self-teaching "show-don't-tell"
>>> Interpretable, can foretell directly as foreshadowing.
How did the filly come to be in the wild during the "great upheaval"? (hopelessly lost yet ignorant)
> A wizard did it.
>> Discord.
>>> For a laugh.
>>>> Discord is a dick but never shown to be "evil".
How was her ignorance maintained?
> Born ignorant?
>> To no pony? How?
>>> Fuckin' Magic.
>>>> Transplanted to a tree when Discord whisked her away from her mother (prenatal) made to survive because Discord is an asshole but not a monster.
>>>>> Does this bite him in the ass directly? --> To be determined.
Consequence: Being sustained by nature and chaos magic til birth reasonably alters her magic-talking-horse nature.
> Which breed best fits this OC? --> Unicorn (obviously).
>> What magic should she possess?
>>> What is thematic with her wild birth/ignorance?
Drawing in magic (nutrients) from the environment (tree). Changes by location. Accents primal adaptability (evolution/survival of the fittest), prowling nature of predators.
> Mechanics to reference? World of Darkness Prime magic.
>> Similar abilities to reference?
>>> Mage sight, counter-spell, spell steal, squaring the circle.
Name of OC (preferably one word).
> Tree themed, she's "a little tree"
>> Sapling, a little tree but defined as young.
>>> Character would not understand the age distinction, because age is societal construct.
Treeling
Color scheme: thematically related
> Autumn signifies the end of an era and beginning of a deep sleep.
>> Main story goals follow this theme.
Treeling's goals: Counter-civil, overly simplified
> What needs changing?
>> What exists in canon so far?
>>> Discord is present ruler and avatar of chaos.
>>> More than one battle with his alicorn opposites
>>> Several relics designed to amplify and manipulate magic.
>>>> Treeling can see/sense magic with Prime Sight. The world must certainly be flooded with it.
>>>>> Being able to feel nature's raw unbridled power, Treeling would be inundated with it and would naturally want it to be reduced, if not eradicated.
Treeling wants to cap the wells pumping magic into the world including Discord and the Celestial Sisters, as well as (when discovered) the artifacts.
What is needed for this goal?
> Defeat of Discord, Celestia, Luna, and the fall of the Crystal Empire (canon ending to the era).
Sidebar: Defeats
Defeat of Discord
> Canon defeat, no witnesses
>> Return: Crystal Queen's ambitions undetured, and expectations subverted with the canon defeat.
>>> Need to establish Celestia and Luna as threats equal to Discord (continuum) so subverting Crystal Queen does not disappoint.
Defeat of Celestial Sisters (unit)
> What is required?
>> Sisters as a unit are broken when the unit is broken. Need NMM.
>>> Canon reference: "The Nightmare" of Nightmare Moon seems to be a living spell (comics). --> Create "tN"
>>>> Return to Create "tN" after other defeats.
Defeat Luna
> How?
>> More than just infecting her with the living spell she must, as the comics indicate, be put into a susceptible frame of mind for the spell to take hold.
>>> Canon indicates jealousy, but is there any other contributing factors that may/must be considered?
>>>> Luna's dream-walking.
Because the crystal empire is invisible to Discord, and every pony else, it must be invisible to Luna. There exists room to isolate Luna further by showing that she is wholly irrelevant to the era.
> Puts her in a similar position of Rarity in the RoNNM: NMR arc of the comic.
Defeat Celestia.
> How?
Celestia cannot be defeated in the "traditional" sense, because she exists and rules through out history. This does not, however, grant her plot-armor, because she does so alone.
> Psycho-sociological defeat (destroy her place in society as an individual)
>> The Gilded Cage. She is locked into the burden of two princesses she can never escape, and overtaxed for a thousand years.
>>> Nontraditional defeat needs extra foreshadowing.
>>>> As the subject of domestication, Treeling's role in the story is within the bars of a similar cage.
>>>>> Give Treeling a tell, a gilt to reference the cage, whenever she "rattles the bars" of her own gilded cage, to signify how that cage confines her, so when Celestia is locked in hers that torch is passed for the audience.
Treeling posses a golden "gilt", a ruffle in her fur when she uses her magic (her greatest sign of being "wild"). Always use term "gilt" as it is related to "gilded".
Defeat Sombra
> Break Sombra's pride --> "The downward spiral" (movie quote reference)
>> Characterized the Crystal Empire to require Chrysalis level of planing to beat.
>>> Sombra's agenda is political (freedom from being a PoW). (no one can get in or out of CE.) Sombra's attack on the CQ would be a methodically planed out maneuver.
>>>> What maneuver?
>>>>> What maneuver would he have reason to make?
>>>>>> What is his reason for being in the C.E. in the first place?
Economics. To secure trade with the C.E. and the Steel Ponies.
Economic Maneuver. How would he accomplish this?
> What powers does he have?
>> Spawn Crystals, Nightmare Door, Mist Form.
>>> Because Sombra is not yet evil, lessen Nightmare door to some pliability spell (suggestion). Spell helps with trade.
>>> What would be necessary for this pliability maneuver to work.
>>>> Audience with Crystal Queen and her ruling council, as well as a good reason the shield should be taken down.
Goal: The ponies of the Crystal Empire's ruling council, and Queen, are to be made pliable, so that trade could be better for his own (unprotected, therefore struggling) nation of the Steel Ponies.
> Needs a good backup plan in case it doesn't work. Would require the ability to counter the Crystal Heart.
In case of emergency break the Crystal Heart.
> How?
>> The heart is an artifact, assume can not be destroyed, the will of the people must instead be broken.
>>> How? --> Apply the pliability spell on a large scale.
>>>> How --> Massive resonance crystals to amplify the magic.
>>>>> Does something like this exist in canon? --> Yes, kind of.
In the Crystal Empire episode arc, there are what look like apartment structures carved into massive crystals, these could be masquerades for Sombra's pylons.
What needs to happen to turn this into the canon defeat?
> Negotiations must break down so that the fall-back plan is used.
> The spell used must be stronger than the one suggested so that the Crystal Empire cannot rally.
> Sombra must get caught in just such a spell himself so that he confronts the Queen directly.
>> Fear: Pliability --> Waking Nightmares
>>> Fear: What is Sombra afraid of?
>>>> Loss of control and all options to retake his control?
>>>>> How is this instilled in him?
>>>>>> Spell Steal. --> To go on to break the individual sisters, Treeling must be unaffected.
>>>>>>> Treeling must learn to counter the fear spell before Sombra thinks to use it on the entire populace.
>>>>>>>> Sombra's use of the fear spell must be impulsive, emotional, and unplanned. Or else he would accommodate Treeling's counter into his plan.
>>>>>>>>> Sombra must have his foundational understanding of control shaken to prompt this emotional over-reaction.
>>>>>>>>>> "mom" must die and Sombra must regard her at "wife" status.
Sombra is a single father (else wife status does not work)
> Queen is relatable, single mother, parallels between the him and the Queen foreshadow his downfall
Defeat "mom" OC.
> Who is "mom" OC?
>> What is appropriate?
>>> Theme of parenting as domestication --> Mom is a unicorn.
>>> Theme of parenting as domestication --> Treeling does magic "wrong" best effort to teach her "right" way.
>>>> Treeling's muteness derived from her uncivilized nature; never learned the language --> Mom must teach her or find a way to get her to communicate.
>>>>> "mom" is a Teacher or Therapist.
>>>>>> Treeling needs a reason to be put into their custody, likely criminal since no understanding of societal order or law.
>>>>>>> "mom" OC is a rehabilitation therapist. --> Nurse
> "mom" OC is a therapist native to the Crystal Empire: (Nurse) Crystal Clarity.
N.C.C's death must be result of loss of power for Sombra, that he cannot deflect as being taken away by someone else. --> Maybe Treeling if it leads to fear spell steal.
>> (Treeling assisted) Suicide.
What needs to happen for a therapist to commit suicide?
> A fundamental change in the way she understands the world.
>> At the end of the story?
>>> A gradual change, where the five stages of grief are caught in an infinite (cycling) loop (never clears). Suicide best in the depression/denial stage.
>>>> How can this be achieved?
>>>>> Something must backfire.
>>>>>> What? --> To be determined.
What are nurse CC's responsibility?
> Treeling needs to communicate (but has no reason to learn).
>> Treeling communicates by drawing pictures of ideas that she's familiar with (mute).
>>> How does she know what to say?
>>>> She needs word associations (context) so that she knows what to draw.
>>>> What about ideas that she is not familiar with? Where do those pictures come from?
>>>>> The mind of Nurse Clarity.
Treeling steals the spell and plants the seed that grows in NCC throughout the story. Cannot reconcile and commits suicide. Sombra (rightly) blames Treeling and implements discipline/revenge. Fear spell is stolen and turned on Sombra leading him to his canon defeat.
Check point
Defeats Achieved:
> Celestia - Gilded Cage
> Luna - Irrelevance
> Sisters - NMM
> Queen - Sombra
> Sombra - NCC, Treeling
> NCC - Treeling
> Discord - Canon
Missing: Creation of "tN"
What are the components of the living spell, that is the Nightmare, as seen in canon?
> Emotionally aware, intelligent, fear based, self-sustaining, able to possess creatures, manifest objects, and move unhindered as a cloud of "evil" magic. Affects dreams.
>>Are there similar spells in MLP canon?
>>> Sombra's crystal manifestation creates objects.
>>> Sombra's smoke form (crystal mist) is a "cloud of 'evil' magic".
>>> Sombra's fear-door trap spell.
>>> Twilight's MMC mind-rape spell reads, directs, and controls memories.
>>> Emotional magic is a "down played" version of mind magic.
>>>> Give NCC mind magic and emotion magic (fits with therapist). NCC has/needs the ability to create permanent context images in Treeling's mind (mind magic) so that she can communicate.
>>> Luna's dream magic.
>>> Add a pinch of chaos magic for good measure
>>>>> Fragments of these spells meld together somewhere the nightmare entity would be capable of copying a rudimentary primal intelligence.
>>>>>> Treeling.
Drawing magic from the land is by manipulating stains (left over magic) or spell fragments that accumulate in her own body as she draws in magic. Each spell must be one she has reason to draw in.
> Mind-Write --> To convey context to her captive Treeling steals the context creation spell from N.C. Clarity. This shard is responsible for writing a copy of her subconscious mind --> The Nightmare isn't created as a conscious choice, (most living spells are accidents) but rather the chaos shard encourage intermingling of magic shards to make a living spell.
> Emotional magic, allows the nightmare to feel out prey. N.C.C. engages in motherly duty while working through the five stages, bargaining, tries to encourage Treelings gifts with a "harmless" spell. Backfire, Five Stages cycle restarts.
> Crystal Mist (Smoke form) Sombra's specialty and an adaptation of his own adaptation to create crystals
>> Create crystals > Create resonance crystals > Create resonance micro-crystals.
>>> Crystal mist is a power amplification spell, and allows the living spell it's self sustaining nature, amplifying the network of spell fragments into a permanent spell.
> Bestow Nightmares.
>> The key to both Somba's defeat, victory, and the Nightmare. Treeling will already be required to draw this spell to survive.
> Dream magic
>> Inevitable.
Impossible that Luna won't discover the suffering of the Crystal Ponies once the shield comes down.
Treeling's suffering is compounded by the fact that she doesn't understand why she is suffering. (Domestication is not a "wild" idea.)
> Chaos
>> Living in the "outside" (dominated by discord) Treeling can draw this shard at any time, but will likely be the first shard to acquire.
Checkpoint
Checkpoint synopsis:
All ends fixed, the Nightmare created, and all "win" conditions defined. All goals defined, but some conflict:
Goal Priority
> Canon
> Celestia (minor, survive)
> Treeling
> Somba
> Queen
> Clarity
> Luna
> Discord (Goal priority = 0; set piece)
None can defy thoe above them (goal conflict resolutions).
Treeling needs a personal conflict to prevent her from outright destroying Celestia.
> Treeling must die. Nothing less would stop this.
>> Treeling's death must be her own choice.
At any point of conflict Celesta would be w/o the EoH, Luna would be gone, and Treeling would have mastered her spell-stealing.
>>> What is worse than death for Treeling?
>>>> Becoming part of the problem.
>>>>> Treeling must choose between death, and becoming an alicorn. Chooses death.
>>>>>> How is this choice possible? Canon?
>>>>>>> Twilight became a vessel for the EoH.
Treeling must be present at Luna's banishing site, to absorb the EoH banishing spell fragment. Not understanding the magnitude of becoming a vessel for the EoH, and what it entails (changing the magical-"talking"-horse nature to accommodate its enormity). The banishing spell allows her to counter her own magical nature, and banish a large portion of the "magical stain" on the world by destroying all magic in the Everfree Forrest (where the banishing went down).
--> Treeling creates the EFF's anomalous behavior in her death.
All conflicts resolved
Nightmare is essentially an OC for part of this story. What does it look like?
> What is Treeling's nightmare?
>> Treeling's goals spawned by the nightmare that was living in a world inundated with magic.
>>> Where does that magic come from?
>>>> The war between Celestia (and Luna) and Discord and any respective followers they may have.
>> Treeling's birth "mother" is a tree.
>>>>> The fires of war consuming the whole world.
Nightmare first appears as a fire elemental pony in her manifestation in Treeling's mind. Posses a smoky mane (from crystal mist spell) and various other fire-related symbolism.
> Name?
The Crystal Empire would look flat from Treeling's origin island. Like a veldt.
>> Asheveld
>>> Treeling and Asheveld.
>>>> Treeling Asheveld.
The name adopted as a change of identity occurs. Nightmare is a reflection of Treeling's subconscious brought to life by magic, so her possession is symbiotic. Must eventually part.
> The principles of teleport, when mixed with mind magic, create scrying and astral projection. Which, mixed with other magic could allow her possession and escape.
Nightmare transfers to Luna and takes it's polished look. (More refined mind, greater fears) but doesn't take her over until she is broken. Creates surprised reaction that is seen in Season 4, if Luna was not made aware that her nightmares were sentient, and purposefully whittling her down.
Checkpoint
Story Creation Synopsis:
Theme has been defined (Domestication) and delivered upon.
Setting established.
Canon anchors set.
Characters created, defined, and characterized.
All requirements of creation have been further defined as to be implemented.
Timeline:
Start
OCs introduction, and charge to care (Premise of story).
> Accusation/Crime is described, and judgement is pending her "statements".
>> Treeling needs to learn to communicate with pictures.
>>> "Suicide Seed" is planted in Clarity.
Treeling's origin to create context for the "other" such that the audience has a window into her mind.
> From Clarity's perspective defines the "suicide seed" for the audience.
Sombra introduced. Crystal Queen is introduced. Their goals are established, and maneuvering begins.
> Treeling is released from holding so that the larger story may begin.
Alpha pack-struggle vs Civilized Domestication. Father vs Daughter.
> NCC returns. Sombra departs.
Check in on NCC with her struggle to find her at the bargaining stage.
> Demonstrates a motherly attempt to break the cycle.
>> Show several iterations of the cycle restarting so that the audience gains the understanding she's trapped in it.
Sombra returns. Group dynamic established.
> Treeling starts loosing the domestication battle. Establish a checkpoint in her domestication.
Treeling's powers are tested and refined.
> She is now a match for Sombra.
"Negotiation's break down." as a consequence of Treeling's test are established.
> Political maneuvering ends with the Queen at the advantage. The shield comes down. The Crystal Empire is exposed.
>> Luna finds the missing children's nightmares. Treeling and Luna meet in a dream. Spell Steals the dream magic.
Sentence is issued.
> Check in with Clarity.
>> Treeling is given cause to meet Celestia. Has already met Luna.
>>> Establish context for their importance to the story as Chekhov's gunmen princesses.
Sentence is carried out.
> Time is given to the Celestial Sisters to discover the EoH.
>> Missing key reference in the Crystal Empire's library explains why they haven't done it already.
Sentence is subverted.
> Discord is not battled by Treeling, and instead they return to the Crystal Empire.
>> Check in with Clarity.
Sombra begins implementing his backup plan.
> NCC's suicide interrupts him.
>> Sombra turns the fear spell on Treeling, who spell-steals it.
Sombra confronts the crystal queen.
> The Celestial Sisters confront Sombra.
>> Luna banished.
>>> Treeling dies.
>>>> The "villain's" (Treeling's) goals are subverted --> what defines "happily ever after" is subverted.
Wow, this outline was deep. I think I'll read the story as well.
Hey teach, Outlines don't run on a specific template right? Since it would all about asking lots of questions?
Edit: This took my an hour and half to read. Longest blog I've ever read. xD
2549796 The outline is about 3,400 words (Rounded down. The actual story is 41k, again rounded down), and no, it doesn't follow any specific format. Just what I set up in my general advice blog and the forum I linked. Generally speaking the outline will be as long as it needs to be to answer the questions about the theme/topic you want to write. Then all you need to is set up a framework/timeline for those answers (to create the individual chapters with) which is roughly the final part of this outline.
2549829 Alright, thanks a lot for posting this. I needed this.