Write-Off Reviews: There Is Magic In Everything · 12:54pm Sep 16th, 2014
For those of you who haven't heard, there was a new write-off event, and since I enjoyed participating in the last one, I threw a few thousand words together. (That yamgoth saw fit to offer Khans of Tarkir packs as prizes was wedge-colored icing on the narrative cake.) I reviewed the twenty-three entrants over the course of yesterday (including my own, to preserve my anonymity until voting is closed and authors are revealed.) I've collated those reviews here.
Note that once the judging ends, I'll have more than a thousand words written for these events, and thus will be publishing them here. Now, for my reviews:
Love Call: The free verse took a bit to get used to; I obsess over getting rhythm right, so seeing someone take a casual attitude towards it required a mental adjustment. At first, I thought the subject might be Celestia pining for Good King Sombra. Then as more evidence came in, I thought I understood. I was wrong. To whoever wrote this: You got me.
The far-future setting is interesting, and while I understand why more wasn't done with it, I still want to know more about it, especially what happened to the rest of the cast. The idea of a magicless no-man's land beyond Equestria's borders is also intriguing, the country and the world interchangeable because there is nothing beyond it.
In all, good execution, cool ideas, and a clever twist, but only tangentially related to the prompt. I suppose there could be an argument for "the magic of love" binding all together at the end, but it didn't seem to be the intention.
Stallion Whose Name I Forget: A fascinating and suitably dreamlike tale. I suspect the author drew from his or her own frustration in trying to fit the theme, or at least in creative difficulties elsewhere. The result is a very clever interpretation of that theme, redefining "magic" as a metaphor for creativity and inspiration. There are a few minor technical errors, but all in all, this was a good read. A bit rambling at times, but that was appropriate given the circumstances. Also, pilgrimages to strange and remote places seem to be a thing in this competition.
Waiting: Okay, if the children are born with an inert form of the virus, shouldn't that mean that they're born with a in-built vaccine? I'm no virologist, but that seems a bit off.
The author was clearly having fun with acronyms. I just wish he or she had found similar joy in the technical aspects of the story. Still, it's a neat look behind the curtain, though not so much a case of "there's magic in everything" as it is "please, please let there be magic in everything." At least the patch led to a referendum on the project… though I have to wonder how Equestria Girls works with this setup.
And Yet…: Certainly more on theme than the previous two, though at the cost of cohesion. It bounces around time and space to capture as many examples of magic-that-isn't as possible when it would've been better served by fleshing out one vignette. Scootaloo's or Lyra's would work best, emphasizing either friendship as magic or Clarke's Third Law.
Homecoming: Zecora's speech patterns will always be stressful. Your effort was noble, but not quite successful. The usage of rhythm may be somewhat lacking, but there's not much else that I find worth attacking. At first the tale's slow and moderately clunky, but once it gets going, it's pleasantly funky.
For pantheons foreign I'm always a sucker, whether they be zebras' or an applebucker's. The story of struggle from zebras' perspective is filled with their hope and not drowned in invective. (The script format's jarring, I find I must add. The narrative pattern suddenly went plaid!)
But these are mere quibbles, for the ceremony was fascinating to both reader and pony. The magic in all things you properly captured, and after I finished I was still enraptured. So thank you, whoever typed up this delight. It may not be perfect, but it pleased my sight.
Three and a Half Seconds: Exotic pilgrimages and comas. How this prompt led to these trends, I have no idea. In any case, this is a quietly terrifying story of helplessness and isolation, an inversion of the usual themes of the show. Naturally it is those same themes that fix the situation, because the magic of friendship is everywhere. Nicely done, even if we never do find out the cause of the coma.
Just One More: Funnily enough, that's exactly what I told myself as I started reading this one. Also, I considered writing a story wherein Tirek does exactly what Twilight ponders here. An amusing coincidence.
In any case, addiction truly is a cruel mistress, and Fate truly is a jerk. That said, there really isn't much here. Terrifying implications, yes, but the actual structure feels kind of shallow. Almost as if it's been drained of something essential.
…Damn it, Twilight.
A Light in the Dark: Whoa, whoa, whoa. Nightmare Night as the longest night of the year? That would be the winter solstice. The preponderance of pumpkins in Ponyville suggests that, like All Hallow's Eve, Nightmare Night is a fall festivity, which puts it several weeks before that point on the calendar. Granted, there's some more flexibility there than usual with the sun and moon on manual override, but still.
Pedantry aside, this was certainly an interesting interpretation of canon. Not the first time I've seen it, but still well considered. The friendship-magic equivalence makes itself known as well; the spark fires when helping or being helped. The implications are vast, but left unexplored, filed under That Which Pony Was Not Meant to Know. Come on, an incomprehensible elder being freed, as was prophesied, from its long imprisonment when the stars are right? What could possibly go wrong in investigating that? (Also, it may technically count as both a coma and a pilgrimage.)
Dawn: Huh. Two royal sister stories in a row, technically. I quite like Socratic Celestia and her adorable student Pluna. The prompt is approached indirectly, through the applicability of cutie marks. Through clever interpretation, a pony could claim his destiny lies… well, anywhere. Granted, certain paths are more obvious for a given mark than others. A surprisingly philosophical work, and one I enjoyed.
Friendship is Not Magic.: Given the magnitude of Twilight's reason for seeing the elder dragon, (another pilgrimage!) I have to object to first hearing about it in the middle of the story. It's not even hinted at until Twilight just casually brings it up. I also have to object to her revelation. Yes, Twilight. that is magic. It's magic that you yourself have used. Well written as the story is, I have to object to the massive logical fault here. And on that note, the title would be more accurate if it were the converse of the current statement.
Magic in the Earth, Magic in the Air: Wow, the villain is so generic that we don't even get a name. Not until the end, at least, but she could've at least supplied an alias. Also, if she stole the generator, how exactly is the stasis spell being powered? If Twilight's supplying the magic, then it's self-perpetuating in a way that makes my eyes cross.
Characters come out of the woodwork without rhyme or reason, and I find myself failing to care. Sweetie Belle's orchestration is interesting, but it's never made clear what she's doing outside of her personal metaphor.
The end is just… ugh. No. Luna bet against herself? She can beat Discord? Celestia couldn't follow her own advice and find a non-weaponizable version of the generator however many years earlier? Sweetie Belle still doesn't get a cutie mark?
Sorry, but this one just fell flat.
Negotiations: Huh. Another story that begins with "Apple Bloom trudged". What are the odds?
In any case, this one's pretty heavily dependent on headcanon, but it's headcanon I like, though I usually prefer my Pinkie Pies eldritch rather than simply insane. The biggest problem is that Apple Bloom's motivation feels rather out of character for her. It's not contradictory per se, but there's no evidence for it one way or the other. Really, the same could be said for the story as a whole. As I said, headcanon-dependent. Still a good read, though.
Applejack Goes To Magic School For Some Reason: An idiot plot, plain and simple. Aside from a cute bit of Twijack friendshipping, not my cup of tea.
Parental Attachment: Well, that was a thing, though not really a thing that fit the prompt. Still, kudos for a twist on Scootaloo's parents that I've never seen before.
Mark of Destiny: This is a story in desperate need of some better opening exposition. I figured it out fairly easily, but the opening is downright baffling at first.
That said, this was a fascinating read. It went all over the place, in a good way. It started off befuddling, then loathsome, then almost physically painful, then… well, I'm trying to praise it, but this isn't really working. Suffice to say, it threw out horrible, horrible situations, then acknowledged how terrible they were, and it did that well. This was still the best submission I read out of those I'd read up to this point. Also one of the biggest exotic pilgrimages yet.
Farsighted: A different spin on earth pony magic than Negotiations, one that's more believable, yet less satisfying. Talking about the infinitesimal odds of experiencing a given particular moment doesn't quite ring true in a universe where destiny doesn't just exist, but makes itself known on one's hindquarters. Still, it definitely met the prompt, and it's a nice Twijack friendshipping to boot.
Oubliette: Wow. As I noted earlier, I considered this basic premise, but I never considered something like this. I'd call it a descent into madness, but it began about four-fifths of the way to the bottom. In any case, it was an excellently disturbing tale… though the author managed to demonstrate that there is a bad time for a Monty Python quotation. That rather disrupted the mood, though considering who it came from, I shouldn't be surprised. Still, a very good read.
For the Best: Twilight/Applejack shenanigans. A third, minor theme, after great journeys and incapacitation. (Unless the same person wrote all three, but what are the odds of that?) I'm Mane Six pairing-agnostic, so Twijack shipping works for me as well as any of the other fourteen possibilities.
I absolutely love the interaction between Celestia and Granny Smith. Each offering her wisdom to the other, long experience from two perspectives intermingling… fantastic.
Less fantastic is that this doesn't seem to fit the prompt. I may be looking at too narrow a definition of "magic," but I'm not seeing it here. Farsighted's premise is there, but there's no attempt to connect it to the theme. Still, this is a great story, and that counts for a lot in my book.
Daring Do and the Jade Songbird: I like my Daring Do the way I like my orange juice: hand-squeezed full of pulp. This didn't disappoint in that respect, though it would've been nice to see a few more of the scenes that were only mentioned in passing. As it was, the momentum of the story dragged considerably during the recap. Still enjoyable, though, and definitely fulfilling the prompt.
The Color and the Silence: Wow. An origin story I most definitely did not see coming, and one that build nicely on the vague prophetic dreams Celestia appears to have. Fascinating in both concept and implications. I absolutely loved it.
The Sweetest Water: A pleasant fable. It almost seems like it was taken straight from a storybook. To the author, thank you for it.
Feel: Intergenerational fics are always interesting. This one does an excellent job of building the society of flutter ponies trapped in the Frozen North. It feels more like the first chapter of a larger story than a complete one in its own right, but that's not much of a complaint. I hope the author expands on this.
Tumbling Down the Slippery Slope: I could almost see this as an episode of the show. Both cause and cure are just the kind of ridiculousness I'd expect from Everfree wildlife. Social justice warrior Applejack is funnier than she has any right to be. Well done!
I thought the writeoff was due at 2... PM. Not AM! Damnit!
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My condolences, Bob. I'm sure yours would've been splendorous.
I really appreciated that your reviews both came so early and struck such a generally positive tone. Really a nice boost right at the start of the week of waiting.
What were your top picks, if you don't mind the question?