'Sorry' Sin Counter

This had better not be a troll fic or I wasted a lot of time writing this. You ever read those stories that are so abominable you feel as if you're gonna hulk out and destroy everything just from its mere existence? Well this is one of those stories... for me at least.

This... is bad. This is so bad. This is so mind numbingly awful. There is nothing about this that is good, every single syllable makes me want to write my own note.

If you received this letter, well then, consider yourself special. I killed myself, and these letters, well, these letters are all that's left inside from me. If you received this letter, then, I'm sorry.

How on earth are 'they' supposed to receive this letter when its attached to a single package?
How is everyone on the list even going to be in the same place?
Why the hell would you tell them they are special for receiving a letter only to apologise for sending them a letter?

this huge package

Nobody describes a box of 17 incredibly short letters 'a huge package', much less write it out that way.

look at the back of it. There's a list. Find your name, find the number next to your name, reach for the envelope with your number, and read the letter inside your envelope. You can only read your letter. Don't read one that isn't yours. After you've read it, put it back. You can't keep it. Then pass the package on to the next pony on the list. The last pony should and will burn the entire package.

This entire system is absolute bollocks.

Thank you for everything. The smiles, the laughter, the gifts, the fun, the encouragements, the shoulders, the years, the memories, but sadly, they don't matter anymore. It was never enough

Thanks for all this stuff... it wasn't enough. What the absolute fuck?!

Are you happy?

This...

Find a new best friend.

Because they obviously had a limited number of friends, so now Twilight has died, a slot has just opened.

because all we did was cry together
because all we did was rant and rant and rant
because I was always down

Have you watched a single episode of MLP?

Or your talks and lectures on telling me to stop cutting

Yeah don't forget that, I want that engrained in your memory forever.

one day, you'll be the prettiest girls in Ponyville

What the hell does this have to do with anything?

And one day, you'll get married, and have a child. I hope it will be a girl.

This singular child that you will all have together apparently.

I still love you, and I'm sorry, Flash,

And, I'm not sorry, Trixie

For what?

escape into reality

Escape into reality... did you even read this after writing it.

You're amazing though.

I know this through my entire lack of interaction with you.

Thank you for bearing with me. I know I was hard to teach, but you still stood by me. You never gave up and I am grateful for that. I will never stop thinking of you. I will never forget our long lessons. I will never forget our inside jokes. And I will never forget you.

Yeah I think that pretty much says everything Twilight could ever need to say to Celestia, it's not like she was that special to her or anything.

Your favorite girl is gone now.

That's stupidly pretentious for someone who's done nothing but bitch about themselves this entire story.

The stallion who stared at me everyday,

Because of course your creepy stalker deserves one of these letters.

I love you to Pluto and back. And, Mom, that's a whole lot.

Thanks for clearing that up.
Also Twilight's dad doesn't get a separate letter because reasons.

andI hope you get to read this when you grow up

I guess the whole 'words dying with her thing will have to wait for quite some time if these letters are going to be floating around until this kid is old enough to read and care.

I love you more than I could every imagine.

Do I even need to...

And it's all because of Y.O.U. So I hope you're sorry.

Well this sounds vaguely interesting, maybe we'll finally get to the bottom of why Twilight killer herse... oh wait, we're moving on nevermind.

Sin total=24

Bonus round: Twilight saying she killed herself or is dead

consider yourself special. I killed myself,
Because I'll be dead by then
A dead Sparkle
Don't forget your not-so-little-girl who killed herself when she was eighteen.
A dead Sparkle
f you don't, then, I'm dead by now.
Or when your little sister killed herself this year.
A dead Sparkle
Forgive me. I killed myself
A dead Sparkle
I'm gone. I'm no longer alive
Killed herself. And she's gone,
A dead Sparkle
They're gone, because I'm gone. Yes, you read that correctly. I'm gone. I'm dead by now
A dead Sparkle
A dead Sparkle
I'm dead. I really am
A dead Sparkle
A dead Sparkle
I hope you change now that I'm gone.
A dead Sparkle
A dead Sparkle
A dead Sparkle
Your favorite girl is gone now
A dead Sparkle
But we can't. Because I'm dead
I'm Twilight Sparkle. And I'm a dead mare now.
A dead Sparkle
A dead Sparkle
but you were born the day before I killed myself,
A dead Sparkle
Because she's gone
A dead Sparkle
A dead Sparkle

Just a friendly reminder in case everypony fucking forgot!

Sin Total=58
And in all honesty I could probably find more if I really tried, although if I did I might end up putting all that knot tying skill to good use.

Comments

[MarkTheWolfpony]

I really hope it is a troll fic.

[ClickClackTheBrony]

Is it weird that I want to be on the receiving end of one of these? Then again, a regular critique would probably give exactly what I was looking for without negative publicity.