Movie Review: Equestria Girls · 2:45am Apr 18th, 2014
Before we begin, let me just state the differences between an episode and a movie review right now. Because the plot is a lot longer, I will break it up into a five-act structure. Most writers know what a three-act structure, but what the hell is a five-act? The Shakespearian five-act story structure has Introduction/Exposition, Rising Action, Climax, Falling action and Resolution.
As well, I do my arbitrary point system differently. Instead of ONE arbitrary score based on 100 points, I have FIVE sections that total up to 1,000 points. They are, in no particular order; Story/Plot for 300, Animation/Visual Effect for 100, Music for 200, Characters for 200 and Entertainment Value for 200. There will be no impressions and ‘nitpick’ sections where I talk about certain parts for a bit. Instead, I will do the recap or talk about that bit, rate it, and put any gripes I had before moving on. Speaking of moving on, I now bring to you my review of My Little Pony: Equestria Girls!
Movie adaptations of popular cartoons, or vice-versa, are not an uncommon trend these days. Take into account that the My Little Pony franchise was built upon toys and made-for-VHS movies, and the fact that they would make a movie out of Friendship Is Magic was inevitable. Why they chose to wait three seasons in, though, is a mystery to me, but I shall save that for later. With a run time of 72 Minutes (or an hour and 12 minutes), let’s sink out teeth into this... and try not to lose them.
Twilight discovers that Unicorn + Wings (Inexperience in months * Height^2) = Pain.
Story/Plot
~Act I~
Equestria Girls begins as the Mane Six disembark the train in the Crystal Empire. Apparently, the newly crowned Princess Twilight Sparkle is there to attend the annual Princess Summit! ... Italics~! Our purple plucky and permanently pertinent pony princess is, naturally, nervous over her new responsibilities and excited by the opportunities or ‘Nervicited’ as coined by Pinkie Pie. Her friends are supportive as always and, as they enter the Throne Room, Twilight runs into an orange wall... oh, wait. It’s a new guard by the name of ‘Flash Sentry’. You’d think by looking different from the other guards that he’d be important to the story ... but nope!
Princess Celestia, Princess Luna and Princess Cadence greet the new princess and her promenade of pastel pon- okay, no more alliteration. Anyway, they say hello to Twilight and then shunt her and her friends off to bed at four in the afternoon like 3 year olds. *Sighs* That night, however, a pony sneaks into Twilight’s bed room and swipes her crown/The Element of Magic and runs off with it. The seven (yes, Spike is included for once) chase the suspect down into an old store room, but when the element goes through a strange looking glass, the unnamed villain smirks and dives after it.
Do I ever mention that I love her design? <3
Soon after, Princess Exposition... er, Celestia, tells the group that the pony was a former student of hers named Sunset Shimmer and took the Element of Magic into a parallel dimension that she does not know much about and tells Twilight she needs to go in alone to get it back within three days, or else be trapped in that world forever and risk the safety of Equestria... even though I am SURE they must have an army somewhere. Maybe up Luna’s plot? I certainly know an army of Bronies would be there if given the chance. *Ba-dum-pish*
The others ask why they can’t go and Celestia says they may upset the world they go into and leave Equestria defenseless... even thought without one element they’re screwed anyway and are probably hundreds of miles from Canterlot. With only a moment’s hesitation, Twilight steps into the mirror with Spike at her heels and they are whisked through a wall of squeezing and emerge on the other side...
Behold, Twilight Sparkle, the Pool of Midni- I mean, Mystery Mirror! ^^;
~Act II~
When Twilight comes to, she sees that Spike has changed into a purple-furred dog with strange green ears. At first, she wonders what he is, but he points out her strange appearance. Looking into the shiny surface of a statue, she sees she’s been turned into a purple, bipedal ape with strange, spidery appendages. Don’t worry, Twiley; I’d scream if I were purple too. (If I were blue, I would die, da-ba-dee-da-ba-die) Seeing as they are outside of a castle, which in actuality is a High School; the two decide that is the best place to look.
Naturally, Twilight has trouble adjusting to her new body and, much to her horror, finds out that she has absolutely zero magic in this strange dimension! After some difficulty, they get inside the school and are soon beset by students when a bell rings. She bumps into a few kids and cones to the conclusion that they are in a school and not a castle. We are then treated to our first song of the movie called ‘This Strange World’. More on that in the songs part. Afterwards, Twilight runs into a student being harassed by another.
She's cute, but only Pony-Shy is heart attack cute.
When Twilight steps in to intervene, the bully scoffs her off and leaves to wit the purple once-pony learns that she had just stood up for this world’s analogue of Fluttershy. Fluttershy then, in a mirror of the pilot episodes, sees Spike and fawns over him. Twilight asks if she’s seen the crown anywhere and Fluttershy tells her it hit her in the head when she was passing out flyers and took it to Principle Celestia. Ugh.
Keeping Spike hidden, she goes to see the Principle and inquires about the crown and finds out it has been mistaken for the Fall Formal Dance crown given to the Princess of the Formal. Since telling the truth would land her in an asylum, Twilight decides to run for the position as the dance is, surprise, only three days away. (All of this three days stuff is reminding me of something... Ah well.) She goes to the gym to sign up with the head of the planning committee, who is naturally Pinkie Pie, and meets Applejack as she brings in... apple juice... three days in advance... Anyway! They warn her against running because of Sunset Shimmer, but Twilight has no choice.
"How do I hands?" (Or: I guess she can't handle a pen. *is booed*)
But there is something else going on. Right after signing up, Applejack warns her that Sunset is not to be trusted... and that the only one less trustworthy in school is Rainbow Dash. Twilight is surprised to find they aren’t friends in this world and smells something suspicious. However, it isn’t long until she and Sunset Shimmer butt heads for the first time. Afterwards, Sunset calls on her lap dogs Snips and Snails to follow her and get material to discredit her.
Unaware, Twilight goes to the one place she can count on no matter what: the library! After attempting to use a computer, and failing, she falls back to the old standard of books in order to read about all she needs in order to fit in this world. Meanwhile, the henchmen follow her with their smart phones and take pictures and video. With no place to go, Twilight and Spike find a way to stay in the library after the school closes and talk about what they need to do and ponder how their friends, who were friends before in this world, became split apart.
Humane 5 as Freshman.
The next morning, classes resume and passing students snicker at Twilight under their breaths. Since there is no such thing as the Internet in Equestria (darn), she has no idea what has happened. But Rarity quickly drags her into a class room and puts a wing on her. Applejack, Fluttershy and Pinkie Pie enter the room and show her the slanderous video made by Sunset with the aid of her cronies, mortifying her when the implications hit. Pinkie Pie offers some advice, but Fluttershy says not to take it; signaling the four to rip into each other.
Irritated, Twilight calls for them to calm the f**k down and, after a few moments of investigating finds out that Sunset has been sending everyone text messages while disguised as someone else to make them stop... talking. *Eye twitch* That’s almost as stupid as Queen Chrysalis’ botched invasion! Granted, old cheese legs didn’t keep the charade going for very long, but COME ON! Why didn’t they argue in person and realize this MONTHS AGO!?ARGH!
The wild Applejack hugging in her natural environment: the background. *Shot*
I have to stop going off-track. Moving on, they all realize they were stupid, hug, make up, and then go to the Soccer field to meet with Rainbow. She and AJ hug and make up out of earshot and she says she’ll help Twilight... if she wins in a shoot out. Does she win? Are you kidding? But Dash decides to help anyway because, well, she at least tried? *Shrug* Human Mane Six are together and happy and all that and they go to a coffee shop to figure out how to salvage Twilight’s chances when they run into Brad... I mean Flash Sentry. There’s something about him being Sunset’s Ex-Boyfriend, but it’s not important.
We get our second song ‘The Cafeteria Song/Help Twilight Win the Crown’ to which the six plead unity and harmony in a spontaneous flash mob song and dance routine. Sunset scowls sinisterly and plots revenge while her henchmen succumb to their better nature (if Snips and Snails had any to begin with). Later that day, as everyone is wearing the pony ears and tails given out by Twilight and her friends, she walks into Vice-Principal Luna’s office.
Poor Rarity. She still looks fabulous though!
~Act III~
The movie’s “climax” begins with Twilight Sparkle being called into the office... wait. Isn’t this where they realize that she’s not a student at their school and call the police on her? Nope. Seems like someone doctored photos of her destroying the decorations in the gym... badly. Feeling hope drain away again, there is a knock at the door and Flash Sentry comes in. Faster than you can say ‘useless’ he presents evidence that the photos were doctored... and that’s it for that plot point.
Naturally, this is where things fall apart as far as story goes, but let’s ride it out a bit longer.
The damage to the auditorium is bad enough that the formal will need to be postponed and Flash asks Twilight out right at the moment she realizes the implications, shouts ‘no!’ and runs off. Yay! Twilight runs to Rarity’s boutique and cries in the dressing room about how she’s going to be stuck there, but Spike encourages her to tell the girls and see if they can’t help. She does and they’re mostly freaked out... and then Pinkie nails it all right on the head... It’s Pinkie Pie.
I'm not a fan of Luna's design though.
Of course, they all accept her immediately and they hug it out and go back to the school to begin cleaning up the damage. This gets the attention of the other students (yes, because we ALL know that teenagers are eager to do acts of community involvement) who chip in and help get things ready for the big night to happen on schedule. And then Sunset yells at her minions for nearly ruining the formal because she needs it to happen on time too. *Sighs* That is why you don’t send idiots to handle important aspects of your PLAN, idiot!
Renovations finish, and Principal Celestia starts taking the ballots for Princess of the Fall Formal. The girls then go back to Rarity’s place to pretty up for the big night, we get our last song in the form of ‘This is Our Big Night’, they come back in a Limousine and Twilight runs into Flash (driving a mustang, ha-ha-bllleeeeeggggh) who asks her again to the dance. She accepts, they dance, she wins, huzzah. Movie over? Nope! Snips and Snails puppy nap Spike in the middle of the dance (and no one notices except Twilight) prompting her to run out into an obvious trap after her mutt.
Celestia, on the other hand... <3
Sunset stands at the portal with a sledgehammer and threatens to destroy it unless she is... given... the crown. Wouldn’t it just go through anyway? Besides that point, if Sunset needs the crown before the portal closes, doesn’t that mean destroying it would ruin her plans? I really hope Twilight figures this out an- SHE GIVES IN!? WHAT THE HOLY MOTHERFU-
We are experiencing technical difficulties. Please stand by.
... WITH A MONKEY,HERO!? *Pants for breath* Sorry, but... this is when the plot nosedives into a death spiral and NEVER recovers. From here on, it’s downhill, but still technically the climax. *Sighs* Twilight gives in, girls play ‘Keep away’ with the crown, but Sunset gets it in the end and turns into Sunset Satan. What does she do with her demonic powers? She enslaves the student body so she can march on Equestria... and invade... with teenagers.
Nope. No more breaks. If it kills me, I’ll finish this just to get it over with!
Okay, maybe it’s not as stupid a plan as it sounds thinking about it, but still. I doubt they could fly or cast magic, so they’d be at a serious disadvantage next to the five elements, three alicorns and butt-loads of guards waiting on the other side. Annoyed by Twilight, Sunset decides to take her out like she should have a long time ago, but her friends shield her and they... start glowing.
Think that’s odd? Ha! Try adding pony ears, hair extensions and wings! I wish I were joking. Twilight goes on about how ‘the users of the elements can’t be harmed by the thing they made’ or something and then they manage to Royal Rainbow Sunset without ANY jewelry on them whatsoever rendering the crown and necklaces superfluous... even though it’s been clearly established for three years now that the jewelry is 100% necessary.
Sunset Smash!
~Act IV~
Sunset tastes the rainbow and her zombie spell is nullified, returning the students minds. She then crawls out of the crater crying and begs for forgiveness which is naturally accepted. Twilight then tells her she lost because she never learned about friendship and suggests she learn by making friends with her friends and helps her out of the hole. Celestia comes over and crowns her, Sunset is never seen again and then the girls decide they have time to dance even though the portal closes in an hour.
They have their fall formal and everyone finds Twilight’s (still) bad dancing funny or endearing. Rainbow is a natural in the air and flies Scootaloo around (yes, the CMC are in High School too: probably first-years) and the others still retain their pony parts. However, the time comes and Twilight gives them a tearful goodbye and goes back with Spike through the portal with her crown, making the girls lose the pony parts.
Sunset Satan and her "Army"
~Act V~
Twilight arrives back home walking on her hind hooves and falls forward. She’s promptly hugged by her friends. Celestia asks about Sunset, to which Twi says she’s in good hands, making Rainbow ask what a hand is. Really, Dash? It’s those things Spike has just below his head that are NOT HOOVES! At any rate, Twilight runs into Flash sentry again and she alludes to things that never really happened when asked by AJ. Pinkie Pie chimes in and describes what happened in disturbing detail and says it was all just a hunch. Twilight’s more confidant, the day is saved, the end.
~Verdict (TL;DR)~
For the first half of the movie, the story was acceptable and even well done in places. We had a long drought between seasons three and four and this was the team’s way of keeping us occupied and making it a little less painful... but then we come to the second half and things fall apart. To be fair, this was their first movie and they were probably restricted time-wise. If the movie had been maybe an hour and a half, or two, then the story could have had time to branch out and develop things. As it is now, it feels stunted and rushed, especially towards the end.
The resolution was also a little unsatisfying for me. I would have liked to see the HuMane six act at least a little resentful to Sunset now that they know who she is and what she has done to them, but they accept her really, really quickly after she eats rainbow. Then we have the bunk Celestia said about a Princess inspiring people to stand with her and not under her because she was probably hypnotized when Twilight used coercion to turn Sunset good.
Overall, the story was worth 160/300.
Derpy beside the copyright information: Irony or just plain funny?
Music
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I’m not going to make a paragraph per song for two reasons. One, only one of these songs is memorable and two, I just want to finish this review. Just the story is already longer than most episode reviews! (Fun Fact: You just read 2,830 words so far not counting captions!). The title card was very reminiscent to PMV remixes and was a great homage to the more adult fan base. For the rest of the songs, Daniel Ingram said he wanted to go more with what would be in a high school setting, with rock and roll and acapella and other styles that would fit in more with the modern world.
The Cafeteria Song/Help Twilight Win the Crown is the hands-down best song in the movie though. It’s catchy, upbeat, and something I can see people doing a flash mob of in real life. This Strange World was technically good and moved the story along, but it along with ever other song is just a little bit bland and too samey with real-world pop music. No offense, Daniel Ingram is a great composer and the soundtrack isn’t bad, but it’s just not... what I’m used to?
Regardless, the music has a strong 150/200.
Eeee! Human Vinyl is adorable! <3
Animation
Needless to say, the animation on this movie is everything we’ve come to expect of Studio B/DHX. It was fluid, colourful and felt (mostly) realistic outside of a few errors. There’s also the fact to consider that the FIM team are probably out-of practice on humans, and the fact that we are used to seeing the characters AS ponies that might throw many people off of it. However, after seeing it a few times, I can say the animation here is about par for the season 3 standard.
To wit, I will give it an easy 85/100.
The GREAT and POWERFUL Trixie is here to break wheel and eat crackers... and she's all OUT of Crackers! >=D
Characters
When you do a movie with pre-established characters, the biggest question is ‘are they in character?’ Let me get this out of the way right now and say that, yes, all of the known characters here are in character almost perfectly. There is no contest. But are the new characters bearable or interesting? Is the antagonist like Sauron, Emperor Palpatine, or more like the Iceberg in Titanic?
Let’s start off with Brad-er... Flash Sentry. He does play a (tiny) part in the plot, but other than that, he’s eye candy and a romantic-but-maybe-not-really-interest for Twilight since, you know, high school and hormones! Overall, I am glad that he’s not coming back and only had a non-speaking cameo in season 4. But what do I feel about the movie’s antagonist?
Sunset Shimmer was wasted potential and I am sad that this is probably the last we’ll see of her. Sure, she appears in the comics but I don’t get the comics here and I don’t pirate them so I can’t say if she’s used well. I’d like to see her again in the series, or in that sequel coming out this fall.
With that, I’d say I would rate the characters here as 170/200.
Rainbow is really... on fire today.
Entertainment Value
On the whole, I found this movie enjoyable. It was not spectacular or even great, but I went in with no expectations and saw a film that was good, but suffered with some pacing issues and logical fallacies. They are noticeable if you think about it and that does detract from the movie on the whole. Still, it was not inherently bad or anything. Though I would have preferred an MLP movie with actual ponies in it instead of humans in high school, it was interesting to see how a pony WOULD react if it were dropped into our world, Sunset Satan, rainbow magic and magical hair extensions notwithstanding.
By small and large, I would rate how entertaining the movie was as a respectable 150/200
She reminds me of a Bond villain in this shot for some reason.
Closing
Let’s take a look at our scores and see what the completely arbitrary rating for this movie is!
Story: 160/300
Music: 150/200
Characters: 170/200
Entertainment: 150/200
Animation: 85/100
Total: 715/1000
Next week, we get back to regular episodes as the Mane six travel once more to Rainbow Falls. But when they get to the Trader’s Market, they find out how much their friendship is really worth. Will they Trade Ya for it all, or treasure it forever? Until then, this is Ciroton saying, “Hey, I didn’t make a joke about Spike humping Rarity’s leg! Wait... dammit!”
Wait... That means season 4 is ending! Dx
About my thoughts all around.
I really liked the potential Sunset Shimmer brought as an antagonist and her pony design. A shame we only got to see that for about a minute. Once she was human, she was a lot less interesting and her goals seemed really petty and confusing. I'm hoping that the next movie will do more with her.
The one song I remember is the cafeteria song. I liked the dance number and how well choreographed it was. The others? Too J-Poppy for my tastes.
A decent entry, but thinking about it starts to make the story unravel very quickly. I've got my hopes that a PONY movie is coming down the line, but so far that seems unlikely.
Edit: Also, how come when the HuMane six get their powers, longer hair and wings are given out but no horns? What, did the writers think that would be too "unrealistic"?
Dancing Ditzy is best Ditzy in my opinion. The movie was okay but at the same time it wasn't, but considering this is the first movie we can hope that the sequel will be better.
Eh. Thought it was about a 6/9.
The problem is that we ain't going to see Sunset Shimmer after this either. They wasted a perfectly good antagonist so that they could once again steamroll a Great and Powerful Sitting Duck
into submission because :GASP!!!: she made up some accomplishments to look better once and the nitwits creeping on her won't shut their pout-holes about it.
This could probably solve every highschool rivalry ever. xD
personally i felt that they could have really saved it with sunset shimmer if they just added a few touches.
personally that whole plot with the ruined fall formal thing......... was brilliant as i see it. trying to discredit twilight was only an illusion for non involved parties. the real thing was to force twilight to either stay in the human world to win the crown, but be trapped fro two years (thirty moons is around two and a half years), or go home. Sunset could wait to return to equestria. her snapping at snips and snails was because the plan was failing.
with her personally, i think they should have built up something i saw only at the end, somehting i liked. for starters she showed she had a limit. she was unwilling to actually try to hurt spike. even snps and snails could see that he was powerful leverage and she was weakening her stance by doing so. something that contrasts with her behavior as the demon, which i always felt indicated that what was happening was similar to nightmare moon; some darkness overtaking her, but in this case the darkness was even more malevolent.
sorry i got off track. secondly we see sunset attack tiwlight after she was praised (also i do think they could defend themselves in equestria, though not as efficiently as a blast of rainbow magic that can nullify a threat peacefully).
this makes me feel that there is a lot more goin gon with her that we needed to actually see. like seeing her glare jealously at twilight at some points. hell perhaps even twilight bringing up celestia, and sunset hsowing hurt or anger. the comics show that she and celestia were close, perhpas even closer than twilight and celestia in some ways. she was arrogant and proud and ambitious, but it seemed that was all linked to her being celestia's apprentice at the time.
ultimately it would have been fascinating if they focused on sunset being jealous and angry with twilight. it woul give far more context with her obsession with beating tiwlight in this trivial little game. i feel that was the itnent all along but we needed more. we needed it clear that her reason was to try and prove herself better. and she would have soo many reasons to be jealous. she stole her place, she even became an alicorn, something even she was denied.
what would have sealed it for me despite the hiccups at the end would be if when she tackled twilight she was shouting something about what she has that she does not. even with all the nonsense at the end.
ultimately i liked the movie more or less. i liked sunset shimmer and pray they do more with her some day. and wish they explained more............. then again the guy behind the sequel gave a fair reason why the girls are turning into pony eared magic girls. the element of magic left some power to them. it is something that is meant to empower the virtues of harmony into a force against cahos evil and bad shtuff. though i do not know if they will bother actually explaining why the instruments cause them to change.
......also you can get the comics legally online. unless for some reason comixology blocks cannada, they sell digital copies. they do keep them on the site rather than yo udonwloading, and you need an account, but they are there. several of the previous issues re even bundled up in volumes so you can get them ceaper already.
sunset shimmer one appears in a special. mostly know about the first part and i have to say i like it.
the comics are pretty awesome. some odd choices here and there but their arcs have a tendency to be just a few shades darker, nothing too serios but still more serios than the show at times. the current arc is very, very interseting too. ironically it is in fact connected to that mirror we see in this movie. not the human world though, but an alternate one.
there is also two series of side comics, though i would truly advise only two. a microseries comic that has luna taking over for celestia's duties, which also reveals what she does at night. and one where spike and celestia go to find a gift for tiwlight's birthday.
some people cry out non canon, others, like me, have the philosphy that if it does not contradict the series then it still works. it is meant to expand on material i nthe show.
2020305 i sorta sensed what they intended but they should have made it clear.
her behavior was because of tiwlight you see. think about it. she was dismissedas celestia's student, denied a powr she truly felt she dserved, and when she returned she finds she is not only replaced, but her replacement is what she desired to be; an alicorn.
if they made that a lot more clear then ti would make more sense. her beahvior is her trying to prove she is better than twilight. and growing more and more frustrated over it.
really, relaly wish they focused on that part. would have made it oh so much better.
Wait, doesn't that sentence actually nail the modern teenagers' behavior on the head?
Come on, they spend more time with their noses glued to their phones, browsing their facebook accounts and texting each other until cows come home, than living a real life. Who has time for normal talk nowadays? 
Let me paraphrase that sentence:
There. All better, see?
Implying high schoolers have ones in the first place...
Technically speaking, aren't those claws?
Anyway, the ponies definitely saw some handy-dandy hands on Iron Will. 
Ouch, all the guilt I'm feeling right now... Very close to absolute zero.