How are you guys enjoying the story so far? Also, don't be shy to put down thoughts or ideas. Preferably on the blog or user page. I have direction on where I'm going with it, but I'm always open to ideas and I do pay attention to you all.
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I'm enjoying it. I'm also impatient for the next chapter, but I guess everyone is. I think "humans enslaved by ponies" stories are too rare, so I really appreciate what you're doing. Keep it up, and best wishes!
1965739 You have literally just made my night, thank you
1965743
You're quite welcome. I know how it is to be anxiously waiting for comments & feedback.
I like it. The human doesn't really act the way I think a slave would, but other than that, it's good.
1966152 If you can explain that'd be great, cause that is the type of comments I need.
1966311
Alright, then.
I think he should be meeker. He's spent his entire life under the iron fist of some tyrannical anthro pony creature, so he'd probably have been beaten for speaking his mind. He shouldn't make eye contact with any ponies, unless they specifically ordered him to; and even then, reluctantly. His eyes would probably flick around the room a lot, trying to ascertain threats.
His posture would be very submissive, always looking down and to the side, covering his mouth when he talks to a pony. He'd slouch a lot, to try and make himself seem smaller. If he's a tactile kind of person, he'd probably twiddle his hands whenever he was nervous.
He'd probably be easily startled by loud noises, as that would usually mean trouble for him; even if it wasn't his fault. He'd definitely get worried, if he thought a pony was mad at him. Being a slave, he was never taught self-respect, or pride. He would probably apologize, beg, and cower a lot.
If you're trying to go for a stronger, risk-taking kind of character, these traits would be downplayed, but still present.
From his perspective, these would all be mostly precautionary, common-sense measures. Being small and harmless-looking would make it less likely for his masters to take exception to him, which would reduce his chances of being beaten, or punished.
On that point, I think the story would be better told from Fluttershy's perspective. Her learning more about him, his past, and why he acts this way. It might be harder to write that way, but I think it would be a significantly better story.
1966339 All of that was amazing. The last part would be difficult though as I kind of started it in his perspective already.
1966342
Yeah, but you could shift the perspective from chapter to chapter.
1966343 You are definitely not wrong about that...I think the next chapter will take her viewpoint
Well I love the story so far and I'm definitely waiting for more. However one of the things I usually see in this type of story is that the slave eventually learns to love their master and chains. If you do decided to take it in this direction Ill still read it, but I'd be just a little disappointed.
Personally I like the idea Fluttershy and the gang coming up with a plan to help Salem escape from Equestria sometime in the future, but they still maintains a kind of long-distance friendship with him, writing him letters and paying him visits and such.
I also like the idea of the Mane 6 creating a kind of underground railroad to help other slaves like Salem get out of Equestria.