Happy -hic- New Year! What a way to begin a year! · 6:54am Jan 3rd, 2014
Sorry I've been passed out for a day or so, because why only party on new year's eve right (AKA fuck my liver)? Ah time for a new year of goals to not finish, so this year I made it simple.
1. Drink2. Smoke Pot
3. Try Shrooms
4. Find a new hobby
5. Watch the rest of Season 4
6. Watch Breaking Bad again.
7. Write and post at least one story before next year.
8. Yell at people with a keyboard.
Ah the list, and I've already got two down, only six to go.
Oh wait...
Pinkie Pie woke up pretty early,baked some pastries and finally opened the shop.
Well why don't you just pre-cum all over your setting, that will totally make it worth reading.
-Cough- why the fuck am I even on this site anymore. I feel like I've been collecting dust for too long, and maybe it's time to change underpants. The ones I have on are full of... non-black-light friendly stains. What? I type this shit in my underwear, sometimes french dip is too good to pass up. The mountain of cum tissues really should be addressed though. Anyways, enough about what is sitting in my room, back to the story. I am Prince Solstice, an asshole with a heart, and I am here to rain on your parade, or help you. Really depends on how you use my advice.
She took her daily sip of coffee and after a sip or two, she began to be her jumpy self again.
Pinkie... sleeps? and needs coffee?
Cakes had gone on a vacation to the Crystal Kingdom.
To FUCK. Sorry is that being a little uncreative? They used the crystals as post to whip each other, the safety phrase is 'Pinkie! KNOCK FIRST!'
And just like that, Pinkie left the shop to see her friends.
Okay first paragraph down. That was a lot like trying to swallow cum for the first time. Salty, gooey, and it made me horny... actually no, it did the opposite of horny.
Fluttershy was in her cottage, sitting on her couch, feeling the warmth of her fireplace
We need Barry White STAT!
Fluttershy told Angel Bunny, ”It’s cold outside isn't’t it? And It looks as if it might start to rain.”
Awe yeah baby bunny, just lay right there...
Angel nodded and hopped off the couch and pointed to his gurgling stomach.
Yeah bitch, get back in the kitchen. Food don't make itself you know.
A loud knock came from the door and angels hopped up to the peephole and slammed it shut.
I'm not saying more description means you have a bigger penis, but I am totally going to imply it.
Fluttershy’s head popped out from under the couch and asked unsurely, “Rainbow Dash? Is it really you?” “Is it really my Marefriend?”, Fluttershy thought.
I'm not sure if I was gagging from the choker I am using, or from the sudden shift of universes.
Pinkie hopped around happy as a filly would, even in the weather situation.
Awe yesh, wet Pinkie Pie, with one wet pink pie... I feel like I've read that somewhere before...
“I gotta tell Fluttershy!”, she scram against the wind,rain,and thunder/lightning. “RAINBOW IS SOO DEAD!”, she thought.
Pinkie magically hates Rainbow whenever she isn't home. Fucking moo cow, because random.
And she also had the suspicion of Dashie breaking them apart.
Pretty sure, shits gonna hit the fan, but also pretty sure I really just don't give a fuck. I mean seriously, I would rather eat my own puke from new years. Maybe even use it as lube, but just know I will never re-read that sentence you made.
“Pinkie, what’s going on here?”
Pinkie’s eyes shut and she said, “You are single no more…” She pressed her lips against Fluttershy’s with silence following after. Even the storm allowed this moment of scilence bloom.
Fluttershy was surprised at this, and seconds later enjoysed this. Fluttershy then thought,“So this is what true love is like.”
“We may be different, but we are so alike.”
-FlutterPie
Why... wha... huh. Just... This litterallly hurt me a little bit. Like my asshole clenched up... just ugh. You as a writer have no idea... none... how badly I wanted to headbutt a puppy. Like this is nails on a chalkboard to me. Nothing about this last paragraph makes me have a chubby. NOTHING. In fact none of the story did, and here is really why.
I know I know, take it easy, my first story, I have a tulpa that is like Surprise and she wrote it, blah blah blah. I really don't give a fuck about excuses, because I trust people read some type of book or whatever at any point in their life. I give them that benefit of a doubt, so why the fuck is this story so bad? Have you really read a story? I mean none of this makes sense, there is no lead up to what is happening, and all of what happens just sort of happens. There's nothing to lead the reader into giving a shit whether Pinkie or Rainbow have a crush on Flutters, or even that Pinkie and Flutters were dating. What is the meaning of this story? Why should I give a shit about any of it. I didn't even read the other chapters for fear of actually headbutting my screen in a fit of rage. I'm sorry if all of this seems a little mean, but it just makes me cringe to think you as a writer didn't even consider having someone look it over first, or even to read a story on this site. Needless to say here are my recommendations.
1. take the story down immediately
2. Read up a few more stories to help you get the idea. Look for good shipping stories even.
3. Write another story. This one is in too big of a state of disrepair for it to even be salvageable. There was no theme, there was no setting, things happened for no reason, and I'm not even sure what story you were trying to tell.
Trust me, good writing comes with practice, and now I'm just really too lazy to put the effort into it anymore. I feel embarrassed even by my old stories, I try my best to settle for nothing less than perfect, when it isn't going to happen. That's the type of standard people should set for themselves when writing to entertain. Sorry, standards will be set high by many on this site, and if you want to impress them, it's gotta be better than this shit.
Final Verdict: I have never in my life wanted to headbutt a puppy out of pure anger cringing.
WOOO I'M BACK BABY.
Edit, so uh yeah this thing.
In the middle of my 2-3 am winter break writing when I decide to check my feed for a second, I was not disappointed. Glad to see you back faggot. A few quick notes before I get back to my story:
3. They're trippy as fuck and you should have a babysitter when you try them for the first time.
7. Fuckin right you will.
8. You can cross this one off because of this blog post, but you should keep doing it anyway.
I actually face-desked
Welcome Back ole inanimate object fucker.