Remnants Afterwords: Nullus · 12:51am Dec 4th, 2013
Hey, everyone, Smash here. I think a big thank you is order from me and my co-writer, Ragna, for 8 likes on Remnants in the first three days! For two unknowns in the MLP community, even that is an achievement for us. The Remnants Afterwords will be a series of blog posts I will be writing as the stories chapters are posted to ask for feedback and talk about ways the story could go in the future. I'll keep this one short and simple (after all, I've got a new chapter to edit), but expect more things to be featured on this as time goes on.
The prologue chapter, Nullus, was an easy one to write. This was due to RagnaKawaii's great world building and character creativity. But since it was so easy, I kind of question the overall quality of our writing, as this is the first time ever showing our work to the public. My question to you is how can we improve? Seems like a generic question, I know, but we really want to know so we can create the best story that we can.
Please (if you care to) post your criticisms either here or on the chapters themselves.
Just read your story Remnants,
Not the typical HiE where we just shoot the human into Equestria and he instantly becomes friends with everyone he meets so that's good.
I have to question though he reacts so calmly to Luna entering his dream and how he just seems to accept her. Also it feels a little fast paced as to how the kid gets introduced into the story with all these powers. I enjoyed how you went into how he got them though.
Overall not bad, just a little more description, feels kind of empty some places.
1600025 Rentus' acceptance of Luna in his dream will be addressed in the next chapter. About the details... Yeah, I get that. In the first few chapters, we didn't want to reveal to much, so that the story would become predictable. I guess we could have done more in the prologue to explain the world and some of the characters. Well, that's one thing to fix in the future. Also, Rentus' powers do have limits, although they haven't exactly been explored yet. Don't worry, though. Rentus WILL NOT become a Gary Stu. Ragna and I have taken steps to make sure that doesn't happen.