Bear Grylls? pls. Try Kim Jong Un. · 2:50am Aug 13th, 2013
This can only mean one thing; Bear Grylls was Kim Jong Un's father...Kim Jong Il.
...THAT would explain why I stopped writing my Bear Grylls fanf- I mean why the Bear Grylls fanfic went "on hiatus" (
)...BECAUSE KIM JONG IL DIED O_O
But wait a second...doesn't that mean...Kim Jong Un is the rightful heir to the crackfic? O_O
That's right children*, I'm making a new crackfic...sometime. Eventually. When I'm not talking to recruiters'n'shit (seriously the Army recruiters are like the overly-attached girlfriend because they're so intimidated by how successful the other branch's recruiters are XD ) I'll make it :D
Tell your friends. Tell your mom. Tell your neighbors. This is gonna be big. And by big I mean moderate in size, but in my pool of like 7 people who favorited "Man vs Wild vs Ponies" it'll be perty damn big.
Alright, Imma let you finish. Peace out home dawgs. I love you (srsly don't leave me I'm lonely ;-;)
PS. I'm finishing a quick one-shot darkfic first, so keep in mind that "the lavender factory" isn't going to be the crackfic XD My Kim Jong Un fic will be titled appropriately ~.~
*I'm referring to the children in my basement**
**A message to all parents whose children I have captive; stop looking. You will not catch me. You will not find me. I am legion. I do not forgive, I do not forget. Sincerely Johnathon David Smith
Oh and I have a 12" penis, in case you girls were wondering. For all you European girls, that's 48cm
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Coast guard is really an Extension of the police force
Army is the best
Navy just sit on ships all day Haven't had a major navel battle since world war II (would suck to get sunk in the middle of the ocean)
Marines How come they dont have a good special force branch of the branch? of the Marines their all just grunts
Air force well they help but only the oficers
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Regardless, I didn't even bother talking to the Marine recruiter 
Aren't Really Marines Yet- The Army's good overall, but they're not as cool as they think they are
Floating taxis- I've been in a Navy program for 3 years now, so I could never bring myself to insult them<3 Still, they're pretty overmanned, so I don't know if it would be best to join
Puddle pirate protectors- I used to make fun of the Coast Guard like everyone else, but from what I've seen they're actually very good at their job...probably 10x smarter than any average Marine too>>
Chair force- Ridiculously overmanned, very hard to get a job you like, but they have great barracks
Bulletsponges- Complete idiots, I very rarely meet Marines I like...though they've got some damn good PT