I can't think of a title · 12:29am Jun 30th, 2013
I stand sit here ponderously staring over the edge of what I plan on doing after HK of Big Macintosh comes to a close. For those of you who find the news that the story is coming to an end shocking, I'd like you to navigate yourself to the story page and then recite the alphabet. If you still don't have it after that, then nevermind and just continue waiting.
Yes, Exhibit Z will be the ending. No Epilogue, no appendix, and no OVA. I have a plan that I intend to immediately enact upon it's conclusion (or even mere moments beforehand), which is why these last few chapters are sliding out like the icecubes on the bottom of a cup; they need a little shaking. HK of Big Macintosh is the easy part, since it's basically all written and I just need to reassure the chapters they look pretty before I spank them and send them onto the catwalk. At the same time, I'm trying to pace the chapters so the transition period doesn't linger or feel awkward for everyone me. I have a inclination for doing things with a touch of finesse and perhaps drama. It makes me feel clever.
However, the above isn't the primary reason I've broken radio silence on the blogscape. In fact, I'm not sure why I included it. Cripes.
I've recently been spitballing with a complete nerd I quietly call friend in public about a project that not at all sort of happens to involve story writing and ponies. I won't be writing a thing (in plain English at least) because previously mentioned nerd decided to spend his precious freetime coming up with and working on this idea, so now he's finally gathered up the gall to call upon my actual superpower to see if I can make his dream a reality. Of course, I rolled my eyes, crossed my arms, and told him "I don't know if I'm actually equipped to take on such a sexy looking project."
The condensed version of what happened next is that I'm trying to equip myself to take this project on. I'm not going to tell you what that project is just so me and the nerd can giggle to ourselves as we work in our little treehouse with a crudely painted sign that reads "No Girls Allowed" nailed to the outside. Actually, is mostly because we would hate to make false promises since we realize that this could be something more than just two idiots who like programming and whacking away on a keyboard would like to see. Two disheartened idiots is easier to deal with than a whole bunch, so (in his words) we are just making a sandwich. It could take a while, but we promise we won't eat it just the two of us.
So why even rattle on about a secret project? Well, we've only one tiny point of contention that we have rattling around. You see, ponies don't have hands (I promise this is relevant). When a civilization is trying to figure out how to get rid of the other civilization across the way that worships a slightly different deity from their own, they develop weapons in order to gain the upper hand and they develop martial arts connected to those weapons in order to increase how effective they are. If they are competent, the weapons will be wield-able and the martial arts will be effective. Ponies could feasibly facilitate the use of spears and lances (even javelins as we've seen), but weapons such as swords, staves, axes, hammers, sickles, and nunchucks just aren't feasible. We're willing to suspend our disbelief for bows and arrows, but that's about it.
Now there is fanart and fanfiction out the wazoo where ponies use swords and the like, but the nerd and I hold ourselves to a higher standard or something. Maybe it's because we're no strangers to the world of martial arts, but whenever we imagine a pony gripping a sword in their teeth we cringe. From an innovation standpoint, I don't know why ponies would have created swords since they don't have a way to use them (save for magic, but for certain reasons we've done away with any notion of unicorns using physical weaponry when they have a whole cadre of spells that don't need to be polished, sharpened, or raised over their heads with a primal yell). Sure, there is that weird crook of the hoof that many seem fond of, but that's no better than the mouth. Try this: grab a butter knife in the bend of your elbow and try to fix yourself a PB&J sandwich. Even if you succeed, you should still be saying to yourself in the end "If I have to kill someone with this knife, I'm going to put it in my hand." God (or whatever cosmology you subscribe to; it's not the point here) gave us a gift, so we use it.
Ponies, on the other hand and by hand I mean hoof, wouldn't have invented weapons that require thumbs and the notion that you're quickest with two feet on the ground. No, they would have done things differently. Now mind you, they've already proven that they know pointy and sharp things are effective, so I'm not saying that they're completely screwed when it comes to military prowess. The Season 2 finale pretty much suggested ponies had spears and then the Season 3 premiere showed how they were used.
What I'm getting at here is that the illustrious dork and I have been scratching our bums heads trying to drum up some other forms of pony combat. I suggested we should do a just a smidge of outsourcing since two blockheads can't be expected to outfit an entire Equestrian army with a colorful array of weaponry. No, we need more blockheads who have the ideas we don't have.
So, what kind of weaponry do you think is reasonable for a pony to invent and subsequently try and murder someone with? I'd like to hear your thoughts, thoughts untainted by what we've come up with thus far. It's a clever strategy to find out which ideas are more sane and acceptable than others.
If you've got nothing to say, take a hike. I've got things to pretend I'm doing.
I know it's implied Pegasi have wingblades. I know it seems redundant, but heavy horse-shoes could work as well to augment their already limb-crushing natural strength.
OMG. a blog post from Herculean. No sudden moves, lest we startle the rare beast. You do bring up a good point. Human weaponry doesn't really carry over well to the pony world. Also, the teeth wielding thing is pretty dumb. I think the only time I've seen that used outside of pony fics was in Kingdom Hearts. But I digress, you wanted pony weapons, let me give you some.
Tramplers, dude. Heavy duty horseshoes equivalent to brass knucks.
Or maybe retractable blades worn on the hooves? Assassin's Creed style.
That other guy mentioned wingblades.
That crook of the hoof thing could maybe work with blunt weapons like war hammers and maces.
That's all I got.
All right, this goes a lot into theorizing how ponies would have evolved certain adaptations.
Unicorns have magic. They likely would be above making weaponry, and, as you pointed out, they can just use spells to blast their enemies into oblivion.
Pegasi have wings. While not exactly weaponry, these do provide a great advantage. Fly out of range of enemy. Winning.
Earth ponies would most likely have created most of the weaponry that we would come to expect from a society. This would make the weapons likely usable by all races, though it would be advantageous for them to create something not usable by the enemy.
At the times of barbarism, the three tribes were separate and had an uneasy truce out of a desire to survive, so this is likely when weapons would have been created. Starswirl the Bearded was likely around at this time, and he created most modern spells, so we can assume that unicorns had at least some rudimentary form of war magic when weapons were very relevant.
Pegasi would likely use a weapon that gives reach, like a spear, pike, or halberd. With the advantage of flight, this allows them to harass and take down enemies of greatly varied size and shape.
Earth ponies would almost guaranteed use some kind of ranged weapon. They can't close in on a unicorn lobbing spells, nor can they strike a pegasus that hangs just out of reach. It would have to be usable in a jam, so bow and arrow is pretty much a no-go, though extremely disciplined training could make such a thing very pertinent.
So, for earth ponies, readily usable ranged weapons. The best appendage they have for this is the mouth, so I would imagine some kind of throwing knife that's made to be gripped in the teeth. Other various types of throwing weapon would be utilized to be thrown from the mouth, such as slings and possibly types of shuriken.
Crossbows would almost guaranteed be a weapon. Given adequate practice, an earth pony could load one very quickly and be sending huge bolts through the wing of a pegasus in no time. As they're stuck on the ground, using it as a brace would be second nature to them.
If an earth pony were stuck in close-quarters combat with a unicorn or a pegasus, they would probably have something that allowed them to charge and gore an enemy, similar to a unicorn's horn, but more potent. Spikes would probably be helpful to this end.
A weapon that I'm almost certain would be created by earth ponies is called a katar. It seems almost perfect for being wielded in the mouth, though it wouldn't offer a great advantage against unicorns or pegasi.
Can't really think of much else at this point. I'll do some more thinking on it. Hope I helped!
Earth ponies (and possibly the other races but I'm not sure) have been shown to be able to move their tails and grip things in them so they could use pretty much any weapon we have that way. They could also wear spiked armour or the like and focus on close quarters combat. Also if your doing a pony war make sure you avoid the trap of giving unicorns all the advantages. So many stories do that because they never think beyond "OMG MAGIC IS AWESOME" and it really detracts from them.