Update on Life, Artist Wanted, and a Possible Future Story · 11:46pm Apr 10th, 2013
So I was playing with the band at the H.M. Smith Dinner our school hosts in which a bunch of rich folks come over to listen to our superintendent gargle their balls for half an hour in order to ensure their funding for another year. There's a 5 star catering service, and as luck would have it, I'm the ONE person who wasn't on the list.
However, I'm in band, so I get a free pass.
There weren't any seats available for me except for one, which was the seat next to the SHERIFF of Cameron County.
So you can imagine how nervous I was when I found out I'm the ONE cadet that sits next to an actual contributor instead of the rest of the band.
I was like
...shitting flaming bricks.
I need to get that checked.
I was representing the school, and so I put on my best charisma face, and took my seat when it was time for the band to eat.
Turns out, he's a nice old timer. I didn't need to try NEARLY as hard as I thought to impress him. I told him about how I wanted to be a chef or an electronic engineer, I told him my college plans for Northeastern University, my knack for writing, and my passion for sound technology.
So that went well, you may now make all the "I shot the Sheriff" jokes you may or may not have.
Now for the art section. I need someone to draw/color this picture I made today. It was inspired by my friend fantasizing about raping a Catholic mare.
...but since I hate crying ponies with a bleeding heart, I made it a simulation of what would happen if Jarvis met a Jehovah's Witness.
Note: I still felt like a horrible person after making this.
Now what was that third thing I promised?
Oh yeah, shitting on Apple corporation. My favorite thing! ^^
My challenge to you: Post more things that make fun of Apple.
How could that horrid mare have anything but praise for his beautiful tentacles?
Also, shitting flaming bricks is perfectly normal. At least I fucking hope it is.
i1.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/original/000/399/931/a2d.jpeg
I can't seem to see the last pic. Also don't feel bad about that Jarvis pic. I like it and while I would consider asking I know better.
Edit: There is no joke to make about the sheriff. He sounds cool.
Kill the humans and hire the apple farmer, he would make better things than those monkeys.
Big Macintosh for CEO, Eeyup.
997724 Ask about what?
For some reason I have an urge to write Apple Bloom and Applejack fighting about random shit
Huh... Interesting.
We don't need to post anything to make fun of Apple, they do well enough on their own.
DIBS! I CALL DIBS! It's mine.
I'm sorry I made you feel horrible about drawing that. Yes, guys, it was me that drew the other picture. No, you may not see it. Yes, Apple does have its head firmly placed inside its own hindquarters.
Geniuses may use Apple, but people with jobs use PC.
Yeah, I stole that from ERB. What you gonna do, eh? Eh?
998040 I'll tell you what I'm gonna do.
i.imgur.com/tqLySVh.jpg
998116 Fluttershy says: Oh my...
There's a whole different meaning if you read that in George Takei's voice.
997738 Why tentacles of course.
Well if were going to make fun of apple then i'm game.
iseeahappyface.com/upload/how-to-play-games-on-macbook116.jpg
As for the picture, really nice drawing and pretty funny if you don't overthink it.
The sheriff sounds like a pretty swell guy, a bit like a man of the people.
Anyway that's about it and happy writings and such.
997972
As for you, if you mean the last picture in this blog, well i can't seem to see it.
So if you could send another link then that would be great.
998963 I didn't link the picture, but I have changed my mind. Here's the (inferior) picture I drew. facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=117147971814239&set=o.138775372938953&type=1&theater
Feel free to detest my work.
999920
It must be such a nice picture that this site can't handle the awesomeness.
It broke again.