Too much pony? · 4:09am Feb 23rd, 2013
True story is true.
Without conscious thought, I am pretty sure anyway, I reflexively thought of laying my ears back, in combination with an imagined cringe and grimace, and in response to a situation I had been imagining.
The details:
So there I was, reading an article on Wikipedia. My mind wanders often, this was such a case. I followed a link on Wikipedia to the article for bronies, and was reading a bit about the fans of generation one (G1) my little pony, something or rather about the fans that grew up watching the show back in the 80's, and my mind on a whim conjured up a scenario where a G1 fan (the type as described in the article that collects the G1 figurines) asks me to watch some of the G1 show.
Background info: I had already tried to watch an episode of first generation, I think I got about two minutes into it before I couldn't take it any more. I explain this by having grow up watching both well animated and well voiced animation. I watched stuff like Dexster's Lab., Pokemon, (vaguely remember watching) the Thunder Cats the original one (I mention this because I found out there was a revamp made recently), and lets not forget the TMNT (yes, the original version along with the remake with the exception of the more liberal sequel series). Lot's of other shows that were on around the same time-slots back then too, I'm looking at you Toonami! And let's not forget I've watched way too much anime. Japanese animation is top notch, 'nuff said. OK - well, I watched a bit of Galaxy Express 999 and wasn't impressed, but, to be fair, it is just a lot older than me, and from way back when anime was first becoming-- well - becoming anything, it's that old! I watched a maybe 10 - 15 episodes though. I know G1 was from way back too, and was made for little girls, but I had heard it had some slightly darker elements in it than what would expected by today's standards. I was going to try watching the show. First impression: Eeaargh, that animation! I'm pretty sure I saw a limb moving around at the socket. Second impression: the voice of PAIN! Pretty sure I could use the recording of that voice for a dog whistle. I bravely went on to see if I could ignore the discomfort and just extract the raw story. Then I saw what I struck me as a pedo-zebra... O_o Hide your loved ones. I know nothing would happen to them little critters even in a show from the 80's, but I couldn't watch anymore. A remake might be in order for the show based solely on the storyline.
So back to the scenario. I would assume any fan that goes so far as to collect figurines of characters from the show would be fairly fanatical. Or maybe I just can't imagine spending money on them because I've not really had that much spending money all my life. So the assumed-to-be fanatical fan asks me to watch a piece of animation that I could not stand to watch for longer than one minute at a time, assuming that more minutes of watching were to follow, and there might have been some enthusiasm in the question when asked. I do not like to be mean, nor am I into putting myself through pain. My mind's less conscious thought processes said that I would react by laying my ears back while cringing and grimacing.
Do you ever try to dissect your own thoughts? I gave it a try. I think that when you go to make a facial expression, there is a vague impression of how you intend for it to look, and how you imagine it to look on you. These are in addition to the mental operations responsible for making it happen. My mental self image is not that of a pony. My avatar is a joke based on the default avatar used for this site being that of a female pony. So, I do not think of myself as a pony - yet... I can only guess where things will lead.
What happens when what you intend for an expression to look like, and how you imagine what it will look like on you do not match up? Well, what happened to me, was that I noticed. When I noticed, I froze and had to think about what happened, because something wasn't right. I do not have mobile ears, but I know some things that do. Ponies have mobile ears, and that is what they seemed to be in my mind. So why didn't my self image just adjust to give me pony ears? Because my self image is fairly ridged, and does not accept changes that are non-sense. This is probably why it takes so much effort to imagine myself as a pony while reading whatever fanfics have you. I do not think I would react this way if I actually had been given the form of a pony, for then, I would indeed have what was need to make that expression. Though it may amuse me to think that I could move my ears for a while, it would not be strange in the same way to wanting to make a gesture that I cannot make.
So why did I do this in the first place? I have thought for a while about this question, and here are my thoughts. I am hesitant to think it is the same as reading "somebody" as "somepony" (bad example maybe, as the letters "b" and "p" look so much alike), or similar situations. That I attribute to cultural assimilation. The same way you pick up the use of slang terms that mean something that you already have a word for. I see similarities to this and that though. Spoken language and body language are both used in communication. All spoken language is learned, not all body language is learned, but some is. How do we make such accurate guesses about what our pets are thinking? Some animal body language is read through conscious effort, while others might have started out that way, but have become unthinking over time. I have cut myself off from almost all other forms of entertainment for about two and a half months. I didn't even bother watching the finale of Sword Art Online, dropped Runescape like a hot potato with more than two months of subscription left at the time, although I was already becoming disinterested with it. All this time, it has been fimfic, with the occasional watching of the corresponding show: MLP:FIM. I did not have an account on the site until about a week ago, but I am confident I have read at-least five million words worth of stories. I did not put every story I read in my favorites, though I still went back to up-vote (whatever it's called) the fanfics in my bookmarks folder that I found engaging. What does all this immersion in pony stuff mean to this question? I have learned some pony (albeit fictional pony, even if based on nature) body language. But why do I never think to, for example, flick my [non-existent] tail when I am annoyed or angry? I think that is because I associate that expression as something I would not use to communicate to a human (I will not say pony, because I have never had to communicate with a sentient non-human). Some body language is in-fact a cultural thing, go watch a bunch of foreign films, hopefully from cultures less influenced by Hollywood (and by that I mean stuff made by your own culture) productions.
Movable ears would be pretty cool to have. I thought so before this, and I still do. I would like make use of my like of them in a story, when I get around to the correct story that is.
Edit: So... I went back to try watching the show (G1 - Episode 1) again. I think I must have gotten the wrong episode the first time I tried to watch it, because this one was different. Maybe it was labeled incorrectly? Meh... I still didn't finish it, but only because of a distraction.
This blog post brings some things to mind:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uoJEdag1v10
Reading and writing are two completely different things, same as speaking and hearing. You may be able to do one quite well, but not the other. I've learned this from my Japanese studies...
Depression for me is like a battle of constantly dissecting my thoughts (over and over again), and trying to figure out what are stray thoughts and what is reality. If I don't keep myself busy, I go off into a mental tangent and thinking of every possible solution to my problems, even if they are not likely. Thoughts are what control how we perceive reality, and if we have too many thoughts, then one day we may not be able to tell fact from fiction.
You want movable ears? You can get movable ears!
necomimi by neurowear (official site)
880809
Heheh, yeah. I actually heard of those before! :)
Alas, 'tis only decoration. The mood reflection is neat though. They will have to stay in the realm of fantasy a while longer. Maybe radical reconstructive surgery will become affordable in my lifetime? Not likely.
Hmm.. Imagine the idea of those ears, but executed with this technology!
Better not be $55 million though.