Just me and Fluttershy the Water Bottle: learning to enjoy my solo vacation in Hawaii

Here's a Friendship lesson about being alone.

I spent about 4 days in beautiful Hanalei, Kauai (Hawaii). I went hiking, kayaking, or just hung at the beach. And overall, I had a great time. However, this was the very first solo vacation I've ever done that wasn't a convention. Meaning, this was the Big Bad Real World^TM. No easy way to meet new friends. And apparently "Hi, what's your favorite pony?" isn't the best icebreaker outside of a convention hotel. Who've figured, amirite?

Have you ever read those classic travel stories where this lonely solo traveler goes to some faraway land on a whim, and makes a ton of new lifelong friends, or even finds a new lover...? Yeah, that doesn't happen IRL. I did meet a few locals and visitors, and had brief conversations with them. But I don't even know most of their names, and I kept to myself the majority of the time.

You don't just go on a solo vacation and suddenly make friends simply because you're "travelling." Everyone usually keeps to their own travel companions or families. Just like I'm worried that I'm bothering them, they're probably worried they're bothering me. I wonder if it was always this way? Was the age before the mobile phone, long-distance-video-call, and Google Maps a better time?

What I miss about travelling with others (in my case, mainly my mom):

• Someone to share your enjoyment with. You see a pretty animal in the woods? You made it to the top of that trail? You had the most amazing steak at the restaurant? Well, there's no one there in that moment to feel excited with you. You can write or call home, or post on Instagram, but it's not the same. Perhaps me even writing this blog is an effort for me to try to share my excitement with others.
• More thrill of the unexpected. Maybe your friend wants to go to this museum of early 20th century tanks. Something you would have never picked yourself. But turns out it's an amazing museum and it was the best part of the trip. Your travel companions can open you up to trying new things you wouldn't have thought of doing yourself. Or, if you're traveling with a loved one, seeing them excited about the museum is enough to make it worthwhile for you.
• Feeling safer. Even if it's merely a perceived sense of safety, there is safety in numbers. It's easier to walk into an unfamiliar store or strange restaurant with friends by your side.
• It's cheaper. More pragmatically, if you share a room and a car with friends, it's going to come out cheaper. Bigger rooms or AirBNBs are usually cheaper per person.

But I absolutely had fun traveling by myself. Here are some perks of traveling alone:

• You are your only scheduler. Wanna slack off in bed all night and read manga? Yes you can! Wanna take a detour to that farmer's market? Yes you can! Need to stop to pee? Just go! You are your own personal tour guide.
• You can do the things you like, and not have to make any sacrifices. I wanted to go kayaking. I wanted to learn surfing. My mother would never do those things if I traveled with her. (We like hiking, gardens, and beaches though.)
• You can be silly. It's your vacation and your vacation only. No one to judge you for singing in the car. No one waiting for you while you're taking a bunch of pictures of a Fluttershy water bottle, trying to get the lens to focus . (*Of course even better than this, though, is having a close friend or lover that you can be just as silly with.)
• Somewhat easier to talk to people. Just as long as you don't expect to instantly make a forever friend or meet your soul mate, as a solo traveler you are more approachable to others. You will likely have more interactions with locals and fellow tourists. I think this is even more true if you are a woman travelling solo.
• You can use technology and social media to help. Personally I wanted to unwind and disconnect on my vacation. Some places I hiked at had no cell service. But the internet and smartphone have made it more socially acceptable to travel alone. You can read on your phone at a restaurant. You can post pictures to Instagram, record a vlog, or even livestream if you have a following. If you feel really self-conscious travelling alone, you could bring some camera gear with you. I brought a phone tripod. Being a photographer or vlogger is a great "cover" for traveling alone. That being said, you shouldn't need to feel like you need any more of a reason to travel if you're by yourself. You're just like any tourist. You're there to relax and have fun.

While it's definitely nice to travel with someone you like or love, I'd rather travel alone than with someone I don't really care for. I think people overestimate the need to be with someone in order to have a good time. It's just like Miley Cyrus's song: I can buy myself flowers, write my name in the sand, talk to myself for hours, say things you don't understand...

If you want to travel somewhere but having no one to go with is your only excuse...just go. You can absolutely have fun.

Comments

[Mica]

Sidebar: I did wear pony shirts several times while on vacation. But it was a little awkward when the only reaction I got was a young girl silently staring at me

What am I supposed to do