The Writing of The Bonds of Love (Chapter Fifteen: Family, Part Two), Part One

It’s always funny looking at this chapter with that old “I won’t let these chapters exceed 20k words again” promise in mind.

While the first half of the Mount Aris arc was dedicated to Gallus-Stream finally having a break from all the plot-mandated drama so they could actually bask in their love and affection, this half returns us to the status quo to resolve the last of that drama.

I felt conflicted about that at the time and for good reason: I enjoy Ch.14(Family, Part One) far more than I do its latter half, but that isn’t to say this chapter is lesser—far from it. With that ungodly word count, you know full-well I put as much as I could into this chapter, content and effort-wise. After all, this was intended as the legitimate final entry to this sprawling epic of love and therapy, and even more importantly than that: This was the chapter where we finally faced down Ocean Flow.

So let’s not waste any more time and get right into it!

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~ Never Break the Chain, Take Two ~

When attempting to combine both halves of Family into one, I considered cutting this scene too and was frustrated to find I couldn’t.

It would have been easy, truthfully, to time-skip past this scene, given the next one recaps all the main information provided here. But that’d come at the cost of completely hand-waving away Silver confronting her mother for the first time after all the letters, which…no.

That frustration wasn’t exactly helped by how long it took to reach the moment they’d actually talk. I must have spent a good half hour cycling through different iterations of the opening scene-establishment before giving up and throwing something at the wall; afterward, I wrote their conversation, then circled back during a re-edit to properly refine the opening lines.

What did help my frustrations was, again, Great White Prime convincing me to suck it up and do the chapter split.

But as for the conversation itself? There were a few different forms it could have taken: One where Silver initiated the dialogue and put all her admissions and anger right there on the table before Ocean could so much as open her mouth, and another where Ocean would actively speak over Silver to prevent that anger from truly being unleashed.

Neither worked.

Like Smolder and Gruff before her, Ocean needed some genuinely good characterization ASAP. Thus, she extends the first olive branch—despite Silver’s coolness—and even thinks to ask how Smolder was doing—Both to tie one last bow on that subplot and to show Ocean genuinely cares for Silver’s friends(Implicitly hinting the same didn’t extend to Gallus).

As for Silver, “angry” was far from the only character trait she possessed, even in the presence of her mother, so she calms herself down and expresses her gratitude for Ocean’s inquiry regarding Smolder’s character development condition.

Oh, and of course Ocean asks about Silver’s intake of fruits and vegges. Sky did it ‘cause it helped characterize him as a loving, and attentive parent, and Ocean deserved equal treatment.

Back to the subject of character development—Silver’s kicks in and she wastes no time confessing her woes concerning Ocean’s antics, and although Ocean was going to freak out over it, I settled to postpone thatso she could at least try pretending it was for the “You’re busy with schoolwork” excuse Sky and Terry had given her back in the Griffonstone chapters.

But when Silver confirms such wasn’t true, that’s when Ocean panics and we get our first major hint toward her paranoia:

“Who told you to stop writing me back!?”

Another of my personal favorite lines. Just this one, half-crazed question revealed so much about Ocean’s issues.

It also made me consider worsening her treatment and view of Gallus because of it. The line obviously indicated Ocean was terrified someone at the school was trying to isolate Silver and keep her as far away from her parents as they could, so surely it’d be a logical development of that fear to portray Ocean as though she feared Gallus was abusive?

…

Yeah, no. Could have been interesting, but it would have necessitated Ocean act even crueler than she already had and be even harder to empathize with and forgive later. Also, it’d make no sense at all, considering what Ocean knows about Gallus from Silver’s letters.

It was quite the balancing game: Picking and choosing what I could have Ocean do that’d enrage Silver and hurt Gallus while still foreshadowing her true fears andmaking her seem not yet Cozy Glow-levels of absolutely deplorable.

Unfortunately, this was when my prior issues with including dialogue tags made a nasty comeback. I had to re-edit this scene far later and add more tags. It was for the best, though; those many re-edits helped me perfect this scene because, wowwas it rough for a while there.

Remember this exchange?

“‘Just remember, honey, having a crush and being in love are two entirely different things,’” she recited in a scarily accurate imitation of her mother’s voice. “‘And you shouldn’t do anything you’ll regret unless you’re certain of the latter.’”

“I-I did say that, yes,” she admitted, nervously wringing her flippers together. “But it’s true.”

“Maybe. But that was just the first thing you said, and everything after it was even worse…”

That last line of Silver’s? Where, via that “Maybe,” she genuinely concedes some of Ocean’s advice was actual advice, despite its infuriating nature—Thus helping characterize Silverstream by showing she’s not 100% outraged at her mother 24/7 and is capable of conceding points in their argument while still standing her ground? And the moment she acknowledges it was the “First” thing Ocean said—Clarifying it was the very first “advice” Ocean sent her, triggering this mess while simultaneously reaffirming said mess escalated in horror from there, and through that, reinforcing Silver’s justified anger toward Ocean Flow?

Yeah, one sentence accomplished all that, and it wasn’t initially present. Ocean’s little “It’s true” would have been muttered and Silver would have launched into her rant right then and there. Yet, because of a few re-edits and enough time for me to look and see what was missing from the scene, we got both this line and Ocean’s initially indignant response to it—Adding that extra bit of characterization to Ocean that she’s not going to lie down and let her daughter kick her like a wounded puppy; she is, in fact, able to argue back that what she put in her letters was genuine, heartfelt advice and that Silver—the child—should be at least somewhat grateful for it.

Although, that’s all presented much neater in dialogue form, and in one line no less.

Seriously, I’m rarely subtle, but when I am, dang am I good at it. ‘Course, if you want the opposite of subtlety, look no further than Silver’s advice rant.

“‘Advice’ would be telling me to talk to Gallus whenever I’m upset so we could work through it together.”

Cadence’s own first advice to the lovebirds.

“‘Advice’ would be telling me not to constantly worry about his well-being when I know he’s okay!”

Starlight’s advice regarding Silverstream’s paranoia.

And who couldn’t forget:

“‘Advice’! Would be telling me that true love is when two creatures are at their happiest when they are with each other!”

Grandpa Gruff was good for something after all: Making Ocean Flow feel bad about her advice. Jokes aside, there was no way I wouldn’t go through with showing Silver had taken the buzzard’s advice to heart. Horribly timed and ill-handled that interaction may have been, it accomplished some good. I think he’d be happy with that. And also smug. If he ever found out Silver genuinely shares his belief for what true love means, he’ll never let her live it down.

Not much to say about the next few lines. Obviously had Ocean deliberately course-correct when saying “You didn’t like the advice, er, things, I said?” to show she was paying attention to Silver’s argument and respected her daughter enough to understand her “advice” wasn’t perceived as such. Also considered having Silver’s anger completely burn out after that rant, leaving her teary-eyed over the whole affair, but I didn’t think that’d work for how Silver was characterized so far, both throughout the story and in this scene specifically.

Also?

Ocean Flow said nothing and merely hung her head, unable to meet her daughter’s eye.

Truth be told: Ocean was going to speak up…after a solid paragraph of “Finding her courage” or something. But I couldn’t figure out a good way to word that, so I ditched it and had Silver resume after this line.

Yet more characterization for them both—Silver briefly falls into the same pit-trap Gallus fell into so often throughout T.B.O.L. of imperfection-induced self-deprecation, only for her so-far antagonistic mother to immediately shut that down, reaffirm Silver’s right to be angry and validity as a creature, and above all else: Apologize.

But as I made sure to have Silver notice, the one thing Ocean doesn’t apologize for is her attitude toward Gallus. But this is only the beginning of the chapter, so for now, I put this situation on pause for a while—Justifying it as Silver wanting to get all the anger and drama over with, and thus, forgiving Ocean despite the abundant absence of Gallus-centric apologies.

That, however, is almost all this scene needed to accomplish, so Ocean invites Silver to spend the day beneath the waves and behold her cousin’s recital. But before that can happen, we have one last thing to do. With the bottle broken and Silver’s frustrations confessed and addressed, that leaves her with the character development necessary to ask the fundamental question we’ve wanted to know for a while.

Why does Ocean hate Gallus?

After some stalling, Ocean gives the most obvious half-truth she could, and while Silver was going to be oblivious to it, I didn’t think she’d be naive enough to miss it. So she doesn’t, but instead chooses not to look deeper, in case her anger clouded her judgment on the matter anymore than it already had—Showing even more of her development through an awareness of her own emotions’ effect on her perception of events.

Unfortunately for everyone, Silver may have had the brains to recognize her anger toward her mother was making her biased against her, but she also had the…we’ll go with “brains” again, to suggest Ocean spend more time getting to know the boy she loves, with just a touch of guilt-tripping(Who she picked that skill up from, I’ll leave up to you). And that offer, tragically, gives Ocean the idea to do what she ultimately does later.

This also highlights the main reason why I find this chapter to be worse than the prior, and it’s one I might as well mention now.

This is the chapter to suffer the most from “Hand of the Author” syndrome.

Several moments where it’s clear the story is only proceeding the way it does because I’m at the keyboard making it do so, as opposed to maintaining the simple illusion that events unfold how they do because of how the world works and how the characters operate within it.

There have been times before where this has become an issue—Whenever I brutally kick a character out of a scene so others can have the spotlight uninterrupted, for instance—but this chapter is positively riddled with this problem, and I’ll be going over the most blatant ones, but I’m sure most of you already know what they are.

Ah well. Let’s move onto a brighter note, shall we?

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~ Onward, to Seaquestria! ~

The Sky Beak opener exists primarily to summarize Ocean’s “idea” so we didn’t waste time showing her suggesting it.

We also get more setup for Gallus’ thalassophobia, and I was sorely tempted to have Sky hear what he said and comfort the poor bluebird, but that was another thing I figured we didn’t need to waste time on. Thus, Gallus reflexively pretends he said nothing, bottling up his anxiety. Because character growth doesn’t mean the bad habits are entirely gone.

Thankfully, Gallus isn’t alone, and Silver immediately comforts him, showing off yet more of their relationship dynamic.

But the scene has an additional purpose: Further developing Silver’s post-apology feelings toward her mom. So with no time to waste, it’s off to the attic with the lovebirds to make-out, much to Sky’s unease. And since I had no idea how strict Sky Beak should be in response to Silver’s outburst, I turned that into a plot point by having him also be unsure whether to be strict or to allow them to go embrace uninhibited.

And while we also get another glimpse at how uncomfortable Gallus is with Silver’s recent risque behavior, it’s fast swept aside now they’re alone together and his girlfriend needs both comfort and advice from someone else who’s had to forgive a bothersome parental figure.

Silver takes the provided comfort well, happily double-checking Gallus can indeed charm her mother then comforting him back when he admits his worries over visiting Seaquestria.

This is yet another segment I could never figure out how to truly perfect. It’s fine for what it is, but something about this particular part of the conversation always felt lacking to me. Mostly regarding how suddenly Gallus swings from “Yeah, I can totally charm your mother!” to “Oh peck, I’m going underwater tomorrow…!”

Fixing that, however, was far less important than addressing one particular plot hole: Why would Gallus and Silver go down into Seaquestria for dinner with Ocean when:

#1) Silver was still mad at Ocean Flow.

2) #Gallus is scared witless of going underwater.

And #3) They could easily have the dinner at the beach.

The authorial reasons are obvious: I wanted the characters to visit Seaquestria and needed the Prince Guy incident to occur.

As for the in-universe reasons, I clarify Silver did suggest having it on the beach because of Issue #3, only for Gallus to refuse the offer, preferring to dive despite his fear and experience the other half of Silver’s home and heritage. And while Silver does note how adamant Ocean was to have dinner in Seaquestria(For obvious reasons), she chalks it up to it being her intimidation attempt. Which it… Kinda was, yeah. And a far better one than her ex-husband’s, that’s for sure. Not that Canon Gallus would ever admit he was successfully intimidated this time; thus T.B.O.L. Gallus assures the same.

But it’s all rather moot since we’re totally going underwater, so I keep the matter brief, and upon resolving it, Silver hoists herself atop Gallus before any more drama can possibly be brought up to distract them from doing what she’s wanted to do ever since he made the offer last chapter: Go to Round Three.

I also had to do some tweaking to this scene because when I first wrote it…? Yikes!

Most of what Silver said and did remained, but Gallus’ initial reaction wasn’t exactly enthusiastic. And because of that, it felt rather…creepy, almost like Silver was forcing herself on him, and um?

N O

Instead, I made it clear that, although Gallus tried backing out of it, he wasn’t remotely serious about it, as proven by how he teased her back for never returning from helping Sky cook last chapter to kiss him again. More importantly, I had Silver double-check he wanted to try going to Round Three too.

And since the answer was naturally yes, they do exactly that with the scene drawing to a close so we can finally get to the Seaquestria stuff.

Blah-blah-blah, obligatory beach description opening segment, blah-blah-blah…

And now we see the second aspect of Somewhere in The Betweenthat I blatantly ripped off inspired me: Gallus’ thalassophobia.

I was initially tempted to have Gallus be completely okay with the water to go against the whole “Cats don’t like water” trope. But when I read the other story I felt…oddly disappointed with how it was handled there. Though, that was likely me at the time thinking “Why isn’t this explored more in a 20k+ word long segment, discussing all the possible ways in which this fear impacts Gallus’ life and relationship with Silverstream?”

Translation: I was being a backseat reading numpty. But it did give me the motivation to incorporate the element into the story.

And by “incorporate” I mean “Copy beat for beat.” But well? There’s only so many ways you can handle “Gallus is scared of water, but Silver helps him deal with it.” And I certainly love how I handled it, givenit further showcased their relationship dynamic. Gallus isn’t the only one to calm her down when she’s wracked with fear and heartache, she can calm him down just as quickly and effectively.

My favorite detail by far is how she gets his focus entirely on her and off the water. That, combined with the breathing exercise and slow trot into the water, pausing whenever he’s scared, absolutely makes the scene. And when he’s finally in the water and immediately kisses her and calls her beautiful—That’s the icing on the cake.

But what about Seapony Gallus? How did I want to handle that?

Definitely not like Somewhere In The Between, that’s for sure. And certainly not like how the movie handled Spike’s transformation. And while Ghost Leviathan and catfish were the obvious jokes, they were only jokes.

Overall, I wanted Gallus’ seapony form to be just that: A seapony. With only the smallest of differences. This picture inspired some of it, particularly the dorsal fin:

But I didn’t want to rip that off too much, so I had his new muzzle take the color of his beak, and his also talon-yellow flippers remain two-pronged, to contrast the round ones of other seaponies. All of which, I had Silver and Terry discuss in-story.

By now you can figure out what my intentions were with Silver going nuts over Gallus’ new form. But of course, I did have her stop messing with his dorsal fin the instant he admitted it freaked him out.

With Gallus now transformed, our next topic is addressing:

How, uh, how do I swim?” Gallus asked anxiously.

It’s a valid question, after all. And to answer it, I recycle ideas from that scrapped Sky/Gallus conversation regarding the Pearl, more specifically: The Pearl automatically teaches you how to use whatever new forms it gives you.

I figured this “Subconscious instruction booklet” served as a suitable explanation. Especially since Gallus’ newly added thalassophobia would only make the notion he already knew how to swim even more implausible. The fact it let me explain in-universe how the Mane Six knew how to swim too was just a bonus, and one I made sure to acknowledge in-universe.

Also, wow this sequence is LOOONNNGGG! Too long, arguably, but I had a lot of things to juggle at once.

Mercifully, Terramar hurries us along, and the trio dive, with Gallus’ newly gifted subconscious instruction booklet removing his fears entirely, only for another, previously set-up fear to take its place: Silverstream being way too risque again.

But before that, time to answer a question: What the heck was up with seaponies “Breathing water”?

The answer is the same realization Gallus has upon feeling around his neck: Seaponies don’t have gills. Anywhere. I haven’t seen a single piece of artwork, both official and fanmade, depict seaponies with gills. I don’t know why; maybe I just never looked in the right places?

Whatever the reason, that fact always struck me as odd. Sooo…? I couldn’t help but have fun with the lore around it. It helped that seaponies can technically breathe normal air too, given they can poke their heads above the waves and not immediately suffocate like Ripjaws from Ben 10, so I opted to say their lungs can magically take in both water and air without issue.

Other forms of seapony-related magics I wish I could have included are how Skystar in the movie could provide fully-oxygenated bubbles for the Mane Six and Spike to breathe within before their transformation, and her ability to light up her angler. But well? With everything else I had to do this chapter and the fact Gallus was still new to being a seapony, such skills went unused due to time/word constraints. Shame. Maybe in another seapony-related story.

Back to the main topic, it’s time for the “Hand of the Author” to make a comeback, as we unapologetically kick Terramar out of the scene ‘cause he would have interfered with the upcoming ambush. As in, him simply being there would have meant Ocean had even less of an excuse to send everyone but Silver away.

Thus, Terramar is deleted from the plot so it can careen down one singular path without his interference. I hate that it still gets worse from here where this is concerned.

Another thing I hate is something discussed in this video by Pop Culture Detective.

First;y, I have to give a MAJOR content warning regarding that video; it discusses acts of sexual assault extensively, and is honestly rather horrifying to sit through. But sit through it I did, and toward the latter half of the video a particular concept was acknowledged.

More specifically, the notion that men always want sex, or at least, are expected to.

I was already feeling rather disgusted with everything else that video went over, but when I first heard that part(And read the video’s comments relating to it), I felt even more sickened. But also deeply motivated. Because the moment I heard that, I knew I wanted to write a story where this idea was discussed and deconstructed.

And well? … I couldn’t help myself.

In my defense, Gallus had unintentionally put Silver through a lot of crap in this story, if her entire paranoia arc was any indication. So, in a sense, it was time for the reverse to be true. For Silverstream to be the one accidentally making Gallus feel uncomfortable and worried. Which is bold to say, considering she was the one I had try breaking things off, but I digress.

But while that video inspired this particular concept, the reason I went through with it was the relationship drama. No matter how well off they may have been at the end of the 2^nd Date chapters, and no matter how happy they were to finally be together, (mostly)free of drama and heartache… That didn’t mean everything was sunshine and rainbows.

Life always goes on, and as Gruff said to Silver, you don’t automatically get a happy ending just ‘cause. So I opted to show that, to show even after all their development, Gallus-Stream still had bumps in their relationship. And one such bump was Silver’s risque-ness.

So all those scenes of the lovebirds being so lovey-dovey with each other had an actual narrative purpose beyond my own personal gratification at finally being free to show them being lovey-dovey. Now, there was an underlying subplot they were hinting toward.

It helps that the issue was also a natural evolution of both Silver and Gallus’ character arcs as well. As I have Silver spell out herself here:

“Gallus? After the crazy year, er, half a year we’ve had? After all the worry and paranoia…? Now that everything is back to normal and I know for a fact my family likes you…? I guess I just feel like I can finally be with you with nothing and no one stopping us!”

With no plot-mandated drama to keep her in a state of constant misery, Silver was free to reacquire her trademark limitless jubilance, and while it was too late into the story for me to give that trait the spotlight it deserved, I did have time to show a negative consequence of it: That Silver could now shower Gallus in her affection without the slightest hesitation or restraint.

And as for Gallus? Well, given what he learned of Ocean’s letters, the fact Silverstream would be so risque with him, regardless of whether her family was within viewing distance, would obviously set off red flags. But really? That was about the only other thought I put into Gallus’ part in this mess, other than the obvious “Let’s show a guy being uncomfortable with constant, er, ‘physically intimate’ gestures, instead of arbitrarily gung-ho about ‘em.”

Naturally, I madeall this work. Mostly because I didn’t drag this plot point out any longer than necessary.

Case in point, Gallus immediately confesses his frustrations regarding her behavior once Terramar grants them privacy. And although Silver is confused and hurt, she swiftly recognizes she was indeed making him uncomfortable and apologizes accordingly with Gallus not wasting a second to forgive her.

I even have Gallus apologize himself for being so snippy about the situation, and while said apology might not have been 100% necessary, considering he wasn’t in the wrong for feeling uncomfortable, it’s still kind of him to apologize anyway.

There was no way I’d ever make this particular issue any greater than that. By this point, they’ve had the necessary character development to ensure they’d discuss the issue healthily which is exactly what I have them do. Silver explains why she’s been so desperate to snuggle him, and Gallus explains he genuinely appreciates the additional intimacy but wishes for greater moderation. Or as he says:

“But we should pace ourselves, I think. Don’t forget we’re both still new at this. And I can’t always keep up with you.”

“You do your best,” she complimented, giving him a warm smile.

“That’s because you deserve my best,” he said, returning the smile.

“Just like you deserve mine.”

My desire to disprove/deconstruct that whole “Men always want sex” mythmay have been what inspired this particular story beat, but I wasn’t about to say Gallus didn’t absolutely love kissing and snuggling his milady.

As for why Silver is so bleeping horny for Seapony Gallus? Same reason why the “Neck kisses” issue came to be: To aid this story beat. But now that they’ve talked about her risque-ness and resolved the issue, it could be played for proper, non-horrifying comedic banter now. Mainly because Gallus could tease her back just fine, but also because he meant it when he said he wanted to be a part of Silver’s world, including the seapony half of it.

Thus, the two plan their little seapony date for when they get back home.

Also? I am genuinely surprised no one commented on this line:

“Silverstream leaned closer and whispered something so bombastically provocative that to write it down would be considered a crime against Equinity.”

I wrote that line the way I did specifically because I thought it’d get people to laugh about it down in the comments, and yet no one did. Ah well, I guess that’ll happen when you’ve still got another 12k+ more words to read through and comment on.

On that note, I think it’s time we move onto the next sequence of events. I thought I’d have more to say about both this subplot and overall scene, but really, the only other thing to say is I adore the “Gallus-Stream being adorable”-ness of it all, and that’s obvious.

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~ Under the Sea ~

First of all, I simply must set the mood:

There. Now, let’s talk about how disappointed I am with how I handled Seaquestria.

There are several reasons why I couldn’t do as much with Seaquestria as I would’ve preferred. So many other things had priority, the word count, my at-the-time subpar description skills, and the lack of a proper excuse to show off the seapony citizens like I did the hippogriffs.

But I still wish I had done more; I especially wanted to take advantage of the aquatic environment. Moments like how Silverstream swam upside down into Gallus’ view, or twisted over his shoulder to snuggle his back, but more of those.

Moments where their movements generated streams of bubbles, where other fish/seaponies swam in completely different directions/angles than Gallus and Silver(Upside down, etc.), where they had to swim around more rock or coral formations; where they interacted with more various sea life…

I even considered having Gallus screw something up and get stuck facing upside down because of that dorsal fin of his, but I nixed that mere moments after considering it, opting to have him ask Terramar about it and be warned against doing any major swimming stunts.

To say nothing of how much more of Seaquestria itself I wanted to describe, such as how their homes were arranged or what the average seapony was doing. But no, the most I settled for was copying Hippogriffia’s description and swapping out hippogriffs for seaponies and generic above-water activities for generic underwater ones. I even laughed at myself for that last point with the line: “Just like it’s above-water counterpart.” In case my blatant copy/paste-ing efforts weren’t already obvious.

Sure, it’s still descriptions to help enrich the world at the end of the day, but can you really call them meaningful?

I suppose Gallus does, considering he thinks its beauty rivals his girlfriend’s; although, he’s quick to assure she’ll always be grander. And he even tries the nose-nuzzle thing too! Though that’s only because I didn’t want him to automatically know how to kiss her without their beaks but still wanted him to be able to “kiss” her in a sense. Thus: The nose nuzzle.

We then abruptly shift gears and cram Skystar back into the story, and through her, spotlight at least one crucial aspect of seapony culture: Their dancing.

I don’t like how I did it. Surely Skystar’s troupe would be practicing away from the general crowds to ensure optimum practice without distraction? Or else, they’d practice in public which would require Gallus-Stream push past a crowd of seaponies also watching the event.

But no. Skystar’s troupe just sort of…exists. And nopony else is watching, yet it’s not intentionally private(Or at least, I sure didn’t fully communicate if it were).

So yeah. Another “Hand of the Author” moment.

Ah well. The privacy of the event wasn’t the point of its inclusion, the point was to reintroduce Skystar, but for the purposes of realism and adorability, we take a moment to let Gallus-Stream pause and watch the group practice, snuggling into each other’s embrace. Only after Silver tries to dance along with Gallus, remembers he can’t dance as a seapony, then realizes she’ll get to teach him later.

You can bet she made good on that vow.

One time-skip later and now Skystar is plot-relevant again, and for her first task: Discuss the Equestria Games thing to explain why Novo couldn’t cameo. And to give her a touch more characterization, Skystar criticizes the other dancers for not being able to keep up with her—The nutjob who once danced for forty-one hours and two minutes just to prove she could.

No specific reason why I chose that number, in case you were wondering; it was simply the first number I picked off the top of my head that wasn’t the same number as the answer to life, the universe, and everything. Came pretty close though.

Skystar’s second task is to once more highlight Gallus-Stream’s adorability and also Seapony Gallus’ hotness. Why? Because realistically, Silver wouldn’t have been the only one to think he was attractive as a seapony, and it made for some nice teasing from Starry.

I debated for a while on Silver’s reaction to Skystar’s “I would have met him” line, but settled for less is more, having her merely pull Gallus away from her cousin defensively. After all, Silver knows Skystar, so she’d know better than to genuinely think Skystar would try to steal her boyfriend right in front of her face.

While on the subject, however:

“Hey, don’t worry, Cuz, I know he’s yours.”

“Yes, he is.”

It took an enormous amount of willpower not to have Gallus say, “Yes, I am!”

But with Starry nonchalantly inserted back into the plot, it’s time for the real seapony representative to pop in with my usual degree of subtlety.

Salina Blue.

As I mentioned last chapter, I wanted the hippogriffs and seaponies to get equal amounts of representation, but that couldn’t happen since the former had Sky’s intimidation attempt to ensure they got a full-fledged introduction.

So, I decided to handle the seapony side differently. While there were more hippogriffs who got lines and introductions, whoever represented the seaponieswould have more significant characterization(In addition to Skystar being used for their side). Quantity vs. quality, basically.

So while hippogriffs like Stratus Skyranger and Haven Bay got the basic amount of characterization needed to understand what they were about, Salina is the one who got a proper personality, almost enough to rival some of the Drama Club. *cough* End Zone *cough*

That personality, however, boils down to: “Responsible adult.” More specifically: “Responsible adult in charge of keeping two of Mount Aris’ craziest kids in check.” And for the most part, she’s quite adept at the role. Then again, you need to be when you’re Skystar’s honorary big sister.

What was that whole “sister” thing about anyway? The answer is the MLP Wiki. In my search for named hippogriff/seapony characters, I stumbled across both Salina Blue and Haven Bay, and learned an interesting tidbit regarding them: They were supposed to be Skystar’s sisters.

But while that concept got scrapped for the movie, I gleefully took the opportunity to recycle the idea here. But how to do so without blatantly denying canon? Simple: Make the two Starry and Silver’s old babysitters that they came to view as sisters.

This is why I hate how little Haven Bay got in terms of screentime because I did intend her and Salina both to be honorary sisters. Now, in regards to T.B.O.L.’s canon, this still holds true; Salina and Haven Bay were both Skystar and Silver’s main babysitters growing up, so they’re both considered sisters—It’s why Silver knew and called Haven by name during Sky’s intimidation attempt. Sadly, I had too much else to do for Haven to have any spare screentime.

Thankfully, Salina was still around, and she should be extremely grateful for it because she too was on the chopping block during my maddened attempts to keep the chapters combined.

Nevertheless, she remained, and the “Babysitter turned honorary sister” element is effectively the sole inspiration for her entire personality. Which is certainly a better basis than her Fluttershy-esque manestyle and apprehensive expression she wore in her split-second appearance during the movie, both of which were my original basis for her and would have resulted in Salina being significantly more reserved and timid than she ultimately was.

I still have mixed feelings regarding Salina because of this, however; even now, I’m not certain if I should have made her more demure. Honestly? Nah, I like the personality I gave her: Able to freely tease her own Princess and Silverstream and not remotely feel guilty, even being able to genuinely criticize(And reel in) the two whenever they go/have gone bonkers—albeit not always successfully where the Princess of Pouncing is concerned.

That said, that reservedness did remain in places, such as her not being able to keep up with Starry’s dancing troupe or not having nearly that bombastic a personality compared to the Drama Club or even the other hippogriffs/seaponies. And yet, when interacting with Ocean Flow later, she’s as respectful of the older adult figure as you’d expect a former babysitter to be toward the children’s mother, even intending to simply leave the family be for their apparent dinner plan.

So yeah. Salina’s cool.

Doesn’t stop her from accidentally snapping us back onto the looming dread that’s plagued this arc for a while now: The nobility issue.

We’re not quite there yet to truly discussing it, but we’re close, don’t worry.

For now, Salina accidentally sets the stage for the subject by asking if Gallus is a prince, only to be bluntly informed that, no, he’s not. In fact, he’s an orphan. Something he admits with—if the dialogue tag is to be believed—pride! Because I couldn’t help but give that added emphasis to communicate just how far along Gallus has come in changing how he views that part of himself. Even better: Upon admitting his orphan-hood, Silver swoops in to correct he’s a “Sweet, little orphan-boy,” and Salina immediately copy/pastes Stratus’ reaction to learning the same information last chapter.

Redsopine happened to jovially call me out on that fact in the comments. And here, I’ll simply paraphrase what I replied to them with: Is such repetition of the dialogue a mark of my own laziness? Or proof Salina and Stratus are perfect for each other?

The answer is both. But the latter is certainly the canonical reason, given what Gallus inadvertently provides Sky and Silver a chance to do: Convince their Big Sis to go on a date with the hippogriff in question.

This was done purely because I really like Stratus Skyranger—his name is just that dang cool!—and wanted to give Salina more characterization through her having her own romantic interests. As for the brief “He’s a hippogriff, and I’m a seapony” debacle…? That’s something that’ll be expanded on come the fast-approaching Ocean Flow discussion, but for now, it was something I wanted to acknowledge but shelve immediately. Thus, I do acknowledge the potential issue, but then have Silver, again, completely shelve it by noting how she’s in a relationship with a completely different species as well, and they work pretty well very well.

And that’s also in spite of Gallus not being a noble, something Skystar innocently reveals Novo will be peeved about. So now let’s discuss the talk Gallus and Silver have upon hearing that revelation.

I’ve already mentioned how this talk happened before last chapter’s and thus inspired that one. And well? The main point of them having it here is threefold:

#1) The most obvious: To reestablish Silverstream’s nobility status for the next few plot developments.

#2) To give a firm, concrete assessment of where Gallus and Silverstream are after all the development they accrued throughout the story.

Gallus’ orphan-hood is reaffirmed to no longer be a source of self-loathing; if anything, it’s now a source of pride for him as clarified by the earlier dialogue tag. That said, the pain does remain enough that if “A bunch of stuffy nobles” were to harangue him for it, it wouldn’t feel remotely good.

Silverstream, meanwhile, is adamant she’s not paranoid whatsoever, and that’s actually true. She’s no longer mired in the overwhelming terror she was earlier in the story; rather, she’s simply concerned her mother still won’t approve of Gallus.

And the third reason for this talk, as I already discussed last chapter:

#3) To show another component of their relationship dynamic.

Thus, when Gallus admits to his worries over how he’ll be treated by the Mount Aris nobility—AKA: Ocean and Novo—Silver asserts such worries are an “Impossible scenario.”

After all, if how Sky Beak’s Guards and Salina have all treated him was any indication, the mere notion the other hippogriffs and seaponies would treat him any less is utterly ludicrous—something Gallus realizes and laughs at himself for missing. Though it helps Silver admits to not knowing the other royal families(Because whatother noble families even are there?) and after her alleged arson incident—and whatever other crimes she and Skystar once committed—there’s a whopping 0% chance those families would want anything to do with her.

Besides, if the nobles do try interfering with her relationship, Silver will yell at them. Really. Really. Loudly. Which Gallus can’t help but find equally terrifying and attractive. It’s also a line that went through about three different iterations, was straight-up deleted, only to be reinserted and re-edited again before I settled on its ultimate appearance.

As for Silverstream’s own concerns over Ocean trying to introduce her to Prince Guy, Gallus responds with his own brand of logic.

It’d be stupid to have Gallus act like he’s in a poorly written love triangle plot and, despite being the obvious endgame choice, feel threatened by Prince Guy. So to completely sidestep that, Gallus openly admits it’d be perfectly okay to meet Prince Guy because the only thing he could possibly be to Silverstream is a friend. Nothing more. For Gallusis Silverstream’s one and only boyfriend, and he’s fully aware and secure in that.

Doesn’t stop Silver from feeling indignant by Gallus’ seemingly ambivalent response; even if she adores making friends—gotta get that quick Canon Silverstream characterization in—the last thing she wants is for Ocean to shove Prince Guy into her face and scream to the heavens, “Here! Love this guy, not Gallus!”

…

Anyway! We’ve gotta hurry up and get to the scene where Ocean does exactly that. Thus, Gallus-Stream has their adorable, obviously practiced “I’m your sweetie, and I’m your milady” spiel, Silver makes the mistake of revealing to Gallus that once Ocean comes to like him too, she’ll dote on him even more than Sky Beak could, and Gallus immediately decides to get over to Ocean’s ASAP in order to hurry that along—And maybe score himself a mother-daughter’s boyfriend seashell-crafting circle(An event directly lifted from “Surf and/or Turf”).

This moment is also the beginning of the absolute worst string of “Hand of the Author” events in this entire chapter and arguably the whole story.

---

~ Have No Fear, for I Am the Plot Puppeteer ~

With the seapony representatives here, it was time to return to the plot, but not without first writing a nice transitional scene.

Said transition is mostly extra fluff with Skystar’s “I wanna be the Princess of something too!” skit along with Gallus and Silverstream—the kids they are—both playing along. But there is a secondary purpose: Addressing why Salina had never been foreshadowed until an out-of-nowhere namedrop during the 2^nd Date.

The true reason is I hadn’t discovered Salina before then, but I still wanted to address the issue in-universe to help cushion any potential criticism. Thus, I threw Silver under the bus by having her “conveniently” never bring Salina up due to forgetting she existed never having a good opportunity to mention her. Especially when she was adamant about putting her arsonist days behind her—something Salina takes note of, applauding her for growing up in contrast to Skystar.

With that matter addressed, I bluntly end this part with a casual “Oh, we’re here, everypony!”

And now begins the “Hand of the Author” madness…

So! Ocean Flow’s plan was to get Silverstream to show up in hopes of introducing her to Prince Guy so Silver might miraculously decide to leave Gallus for him. Best case scenario: Silver would move back to Mount Aris/Seaquestria to be with him and safe from the dangers she almost died to in canon.

Of course, the first step of this plan was to get Silver and Prince Guy into the same room, which, all things considered, wouldn’t be easy. Luckily, Silver accidentally gave Ocean the perfect solution: The underwater dinner invitation.

Good news: This means Silver is guaranteed to come down to Seaquestria, providing ample opportunity for Prince Guy to ambush meet her.

Bad news: To keep Silver from suspecting anything, the invitation was extended to Gallus who Ocean obviously didn’t want coming.

So how does Ocean go about handling that issue? By not handling it at all and instead being completely dumbfounded Gallus actually showed up, of course! … Wait, what?

This is admittedly the worst it gets, but it is truly awful. Sure, I had Silver hypothesize Ocean’s insistence on having dinner underwater was her intimidation attempt, and sure, I wrote lines implying Ocean truly expected Gallus wouldn’t brave visiting Seaquestria…

But none of that matters. The plot needed Silver to come to Seaquestria to meet Prince Guy, so down she came. Realism demanded an excuse which became the invitation. But realism once more demanded that invitation be extended to Gallus, so down he came too. But the plot needed Silver to face Prince Guy alone, despite everyone else’s presence. But as if that weren’t “Uh-oh”-worthy enough, plot also necessitated Ocean Flow notbe a heartless villainess.

So! How to get Silver alone with Ocean and Prince Guy, despite her entourage consisting of a cousin who rivals Pinkie Pie’s level of excitement and naivety, an older sister mature enough to see through most nonsense, and a boyfriend who wouldn’t leave Silver to suffer a problem alone no matter if it were a broken pencil or an eldritch horror from beyond the stars.

The answer is you don’t. There is no genuinely good narrative reason for solving this conundrum.

But plot had to happen, so I made it happen.

For what it’s worth…? I handled it the best I could with the restrictions I placed upon myself. Ocean didn’t come with a whole list of various plans for eliminating Gallus from the equation ‘cause she isn’t that much of an evil mastermind, so instead, she wings it, taking advantage of Salina and Skystar’s presence. So good news: They’re actually used for the plot instead of being glorified decorations.

Bad news: Everyone has to get hit with that infamous “Idiot stick” trope.

Skystar doesn’t catch on to an adult trying to get her cuz separated from everyone else, despite her being a masterclass troublemaker and having Queen Novoas her mother.

Salina doesn’t catch on either, and if anything, only makes everything worse. First, by trying to leave Gallus-Stream alone with Ocean Flow—Figured it would be a nice touch of characterization for her to want to leave the family she’s only an “honorary” member of to their own shindig—and by going along with Ocean’s pitiful “I totally want to give Silver the ‘Birds and the Bees’ speech, not try to convince her to cheat on her boyfriend” plan.

Gallus merely idles. Accepting whatever happens because…? Well, in-universe it’s because, despite being as confused as Silver is, he doesn’t want to accidentally overstep any boundaries, hoping to make the best impression he can(Even flashing his best smile which Ocean completely ignores). In reality, it’s because plot.

And Silverstream…? Oh boy. If no one else, she should have known something was going on and had the courage to put her fins down and tell Ocean, “No, Gallus stays here with me whether you like it or not; now why don’t you tell us what you’re keeping in that house of yours that you’re so terrified we’ll see?” But no. Plot has to happen, so she goes along with everything, because her mom—the current champion of paranoid ramblings and attempted sinkings of the S.S.Gallus-Stream—promised she wasn’t trying anything.

But that’s okay too because I ironically lampshadedthe issue with such wonderful lines as “I guess this is a thing that’s happening now” and “Headmare Starlight is subtler than you.”

Even when writing this section I was utterly disgusted with it, and to this day, this single turn of events—not even 2k words in length between its beginning and Silver getting shoved into the door—is THE reason I prefer the previous chapter(And so many others) to this one.

But I suppose this is where we need to discusswhy Prince Guy was even a thing, and you have Great White Prime to thank for it.

Back in the era of August 2020, I still wasn’t 100% certain whether I’d take the characters to Mount Aris, preferring to end the story with the 2^nd Date. I wanted to go to Mount Aris and meet Silver’s family, but I wasn’t sure what to do with the concept.

I hadone idea: The upcoming scene where Ocean and Silver have their beach blowout. Problem was it was only their blowout. Not the reasons why they were angry with each other, not the cause for why Silver’s on the beach trying to get away from her, or why Ocean is so terrified of Silver staying with Gallus. No concrete reasons for any of that, and Prince Guy certainly wasn’t a thing yet.

Luckily, Great White Prime swooped in and asked if we were going to Mount Aris.

Although I had no significant ideas for the Mount Aris arc beyond that one scene, let alone if I would write it, I still responded to their query with a casual “Maaaaybe… ”

This then prompted them to provide an interesting story idea:

Here's the idea: During a school break, Silver's family invites Gallus to spend the break at Mount Aris and get to know him. This of course shocks both Gallus and Silverstream with Gallus worrying about making a fool of himself and Silverstream worrying about what her family (especially Queen Novo) will think or approve of him. During his time at Mount Aris, Gallus is antagonized by snooty nobles because of his orphan status and Silverstream's royalty (who also criticize Silver for choosing a "Street Griff"). However, during the the sleepover Gallus gets to see what it's like being in a family and he does get emotional but everything turns out ok.

With the later addendum of:

I have another detail: There's a part when Gallus and Silverstream are watching the stars whilst going over his visit. Everything is going well until a couple of said nobles confront them which starts an argument. Everything takes a turn for the worst when a particularly younger noble starts to hit on Silverstream, causing Gallus to give him a black eye. A brief fight erupts between Gallus and the creeps but is broken up when Queen Novo intervenes.

Upon reading their idea is when I had my “Lightbulb!” moment. Because now I finally had a reason why Silver and Ocean would have their argument.

Prince Guy.

It goes without saying I handled this concept quite differently to how Great White Prime suggested—something they were equally confused by I’ve already discussed why I couldn’t really include Novo—To say nothing of the fact Silver’s parents would realistically be far more relevant to her issues than her Auntie—but what about the “Snooty royalty vs. Gallus” idea?

To answer that, I return your attention to the reasons I wrote Vellum not as a generic, one-note antagonist. I don’t like generic one-note antagonists. Which is what those snooty royals would have been. Furthermore:

#1) I had no clue how to realistically write Gallus and Silver taking a midnight beach stroll, only to be accosted by a group of thugs.

#2) The last thing I wanted Gallus to do in this story was to get into a mindless slug-fest when the whole point of his development was for him to attain peace and serenity.

#3) The “No legitimate love rivals” rule.

And #4) Heck no would Silver sit idly by and accept a random jerk she doesn’t know creeping on her then throwing talons with her boyfriend when she denies their advances.

However…! The idea of a snooty royal wanting to get it on with Silver? That was something I could work with. All I had to do was ditch the snootiness, and suddenly it opened a whole new can of worms. As Silver says:

“Oh sea kelp, you’re nice?” she whined. “Aughhh, why did you have to be nice? This would have been so much easier if you were a stuffy noble, but nooo! You just had to be nice,” she grumbled, face-flippering.

A Prince Guy who genuinely meant no malice and instead wished only to properly meet Silver and hopefully woo her was sooo much better than “Generic Prince Antagonist #99999…” Sadly—or fortunately, depending on your viewpoint—such story potential was sidelined in favor of what Prince Guy’s inclusion meant for Ocean Flow’s side of the conflict.

Namely: Why in the world would Ocean Flow be so desperate to get Silver hooked up with a random guy she doesn’t know or care about, especially when she was already taken?

Even when I first conceptualized the upcoming Silver vs. Ocean scene, the “Silverstream, you are not safe with that boy, and you darn well know it.” line was a thing. So with that in mind, if Silver wouldn’t be “safe” with Gallus, surely she would be with Prince Guy, right?

Thus, the royal ambush.

At first, Ocean’s reasons for her being “safe” with Prince Guy as opposed to Gallus would have been extremely superficial: Prince Guy was rich, so he could forever financially support Silverstream, compared to Gallus who clearly couldn’t.

This was purely a placeholder motivation, and it changed the moment(s)I first foreshadowed the Mount Aris arc—The letter Silver reads in Ch.12(Closure), and the adjacent conversation she has with Smolder on the topic in Ch.11(Home). Because once I began working on those two scenes, Ocean’s true motivations fully took shape within my mind.

Still… I didn’t feel 100% okay overhauling so much of Great White Prime’s suggestion, hence why the Prince Guy happened regardless of the “No legitimate love rivals” rule, and was another reason why Gallus was so worried he would be treated like trash because he was an “Orphaned street rat.” It’s also low-key why Gallus and Silver are openly antagonistic toward the mere idea of the nobles so much as glancing at them.

In the end, however, it was my story, so I did what I thought was best for it.

I’m just glad they liked how it ultimately turned out. So thank you again, Great White Prime. For both reading and enjoying T.B.O.L., and for giving me the inspiration necessary for the Mount Aris arc to even happen.

Onto Prince Guy himself, there’s as little to say about him as you might expect. No other named canonical hippogriff/seapony characters for him to be anyone majorly important, and I definitely didn’t plan to give him any more personality than what was shown.

In fact? I intended to give him even less of a personality. Originally, he wasn’t going to get a single line of dialogue. Why? Because I thought it’d be funny. Here’s this Prince Guy Ocean’s been hyping up to meet her daughter, but Silver immediately slaps her flipper over his muzzle, apologizes for her mother’s nonsense, screams she’s taken, then kicks him out, and during all that time, he couldn’t so much as squeak out a quick “Hello there.”

And yes, I did hope to write out even his apology scene in a manner which prevented him from saying anything. The only reason he was included was to spark drama in the plot; he didn’t deserve the same level of attention as Discord, let alone the Drama Club, so he wouldn’t get any attention beyond his usage in the plot.

Sadly, the apology scene didn’t work with this gag in mind. Both because it’d make Gallus and Silver even more unnecessarily cruel and because… It’s rather hard to apologize and explain yourself when you can’t actually apologize or explain yourself. And I did genuinely want Prince Guy to apologize for the role he played in everything; he may not have deserved being named—the only remnant of this dialogue-less gag I kept—but he did deserve a basic sense of decency. Especially when all the other hippogriffs and seaponies got that much and more.

As a result, I came back to this confrontation and overhauled it so he would have dialogue—and through it, Silver’s “You’re nice!?” reaction. It was especially good I did this since it allowed him to react with shock upon learning Silver was taken. When he didn’t have dialogue, this wasn’t conveyed, so it came across as though Prince Guy did know Silver was dating Gallus but tried his luck anyway.

Shame on Ocean Flow since this meant she purposefully didn’t tell Prince Guy about Gallus which… Yikes. Thankfully, Silver lays into Ocean for all of us; sadly, we don’t get to see the initial confrontation. Why? S U S P E N S E!

Instead we shift back to Salina who’s chiding the still-laughing Gallus and Skystar for triggering an underwater volcano “for fun” whilst a team of seaponies hurriedly clean up the lava flow and direct it away safely.

Wait, that didn’t happen? Then what was all that “Skystar loves underwater volcanoes” build-up for!? All we seriously got was Salina clarifying to Gallus—who obviously asked her off-screen what Ocean’s nonsense was really about—that Ocean was giving Silver what she thought was the “Birds and the Bees” speech, and seeing Gallus react to that, including a moment where he briefly ponders on having a daughter?

Well? It’s not a proper substitute for Gallus/Skystar volcano shenanigans, but it’s a decent enough compromise…

Silver shows up to keep the plot on track, asking Salina and Starry if they knew of her mother’s ploy and quickly understanding they didn’t, rather than getting all “Don’t lie to me!!! ”

Skystar then gets another great moment: Realizing Silver’s “Fleeing a crime scene” of Ocean’s making and distracting her long enough to let Silver escape. She almost didn’t get this scene either, which is par for the course regarding her and Terry. Similarly par for the course, she got it because I wanted her to have more prominence.

However, there was a second reason for this: To replace a scene with Skystar I had to cut. What was that scene, you ask? Skystar was going to be present in the upcoming beach blowout. She’d hear almost everything that happened, but before Silver could ditch her Pearl-piece, Starry would announce “I’m getting Mom!” then dip beneath the waves to get Novo to reel in her sister.

Why didn’t this happen? Salina. If Skystar followed everyone to the surface, then naturally Salina would follow them too. Furthermore, Starry wasn’t going to have much more dialogue beyond that one line since the scene itself was all Silver and Ocean Flow with a sprinkling of Sky Beak. Thus, I nixed this idea entirely, gave Starry the distraction moment as compensation, and settled for merely implying she told Novo what Ocean did off-screen(If Ocean’s “If you’re here to yell at me too…” line later was any implication).

Why didn’t Starry and Salina follow Ocean to the surface anyway, even when the distraction attempt failed? … “Hand of the Author.” Salina wouldn’t have allowed Ocean’s rampage to go unimpeded, and I honestly didn’t like the idea of Salina bearing witness to everything that happened, sullying her opinion of Lady Miss Ocean Flow resultantly.

So with those two unceremoniously deleted from the plot again, we briefly return to Sky Beak’s perspective to transition back to the surface and provide reasons for him joining the beach blowout and nogriff else. I did consider involving the Sky, Haven, and Terry, but I figured—like Smolder’s issues—Ocean and Silver’s dilemma deserved some in-universe privacy.

Realism demanded I address Gallus changing back into a griffon after spending the better part of two or so hours without legs, so you get a scene of him having trouble remembering how to use said legs and a reminder that without that subconscious instruction booklet, water is his mortal enemy.

And throughout this moment of levity, we glimpse Silver at her angriest. Short and blunt, even with her boyfriend—Though apologizing for it regardless, to show the healthiness of their relationship overpowers her current fury—and willing to swear in griffish(griffonian?) in front of Gallus and her parents. Though none of ‘em notice here on account of the scene’s mood taking precedence.

And the reason for that anger makes her presence known because of course Skystar wouldn’t stop her for long.

Aside from some freshening up here and there, this scene remained almost exactly as how I initially wrote it, and my lack of subtlety makes most of my intentions with it obvious.

This was the turning point in the conflict where Ocean went from “Pseudo-antagonist who’s already apologized for the majority of her actions” to “Oh yeah, no, she’s still absolutely awful” while sneakily avoiding explaining why she’s acting the way she is.

But the true highlights of this scene are Silverstream and the dialogue.

The raw emotions on display from Silver are a sight to behold, as are the reflections of her character development we see with how she at leasttries to walk away from Ocean to go cool off(Twice, in fact), to say nothing of her reaction to Ocean’s “outsider” slip.

On that note, Ocean calling Gallus an “outsider” was a remnant of the pre-Great White Prime version of this scene, where Ocean’s superficial reasons for being anti-Gallus did semi-include her not thinking a griffon would be a suitable partner for her daughter. I’m sure the reason it was kept is obvious: Conflict. Needed a nasty, suspenseful way to end the scene; thus, “Hand of the Author” dictated I make Ocean call Gallus that, despite her ordinarily being mature enough to know better.

As for the dialogue…? Well, you have these bits with Sky Beak:

“‘Friend’? Oh no. Ocean, you didn’t…?”

Implicitly confirming he, like Terry and Starry, knew about Prince Guy, adding another bittersweet twist to his reassuring Silver last chapter that Ocean would like Gallus in time.

“Ocean Flow, that is enough—”

“Stay out of this, Sky Beak; this doesn’t concern you!” she snapped.

“Yes, it does concern me!” he protested. “That’s our daughter you’re yelling at!”

“And if you’re not going to protect our daughter, then I am!” Ocean shrieked venomously.

Sky Beak looked as if she had slapped him.

Where he triesgetting Ocean to back off, but in her hysteria, she shuts him down.

Interestingly, Sky was originally going to be shut down after she replied “This doesn’t concern you!” but that wouldn’t have been good for his character since:

#1) He’s Silver’s father, Ocean was causing his daughter distress, so naturally he’d try to intervene—which he even acknowledges.

And #2) It would have portrayed him as cowardly to be cowed so quickly and easily. I mean? He’s still cowed, but only momentarily and out of pure shock at Ocean’s words.

Speaking of which, Ocean was going to react more regretfully after snapping at her ex, but I soon opted against it. She was in the midst of a full-blown, paranoia-induced tirade, and while amends would be made, it serviced both the scene and her character better to be so blinded by that tirade she doesn’t realize how much she inadvertently hurt Sky Beak with her “If you won’t protect our daughter, I will” proclamation—Which, yes, was indeed foreshadowing her frustration for how Sky and Novo were okay with Silver attending the Friendship School.

“Ocean Flow!” Sky Beak gasped, gaping in shock.

Which was effectively the same reaction the crowds of onlooking hippogriffs/seaponies would have had to Ocean’s “outsider” remark if I had included them in this scene. Since I didn’t do that, Sky Beak got it instead.

“Honey—”

A shame Silver cut him off here; Sky was indeed about to defend Oceanhere—Another nice dose of characterization that even after everything Ocean’s said to Silver, Gallus, and even him, Sky still loves her enough to attempt defending her from their daughter’s wrath.

“I think. You’ve said. Enough,” Sky Beak mumbled coldly.

Regardless whether he would have defended her or not, Ocean undeniably screwed up. And it took a while to properly communicate this moment because I didn’t want to accidentally make Sky seem too enraged with her to the point it came across as rather…indicative. I.E. Ocean left not out of shame for her actions, but for fear of what Sky was going to say or do.

Probably me overthinking things again, but still something worth noting. It’s why I chose the dialogue tag “mumbled coldly” rather than “shouted” or “hissed” or anything similar, instead emphasizing Ocean fled purely because of her own guilt and shame.

After Ocean left, I considered sneaking in a quick line about Sky going after Gallus and Silverstream—to foreshadow his approaching them later—but the word count made it clear such a line wasn’t needed. Same goes for another similar line where he expresses despair over the situation, sadness that Ocean did what she did, and regret that he hadn’t intervened sooner.

Gallus, meanwhile, doesn’t get many lines thanks to Silver and Ocean having the spotlight, so not much to say regarding him here. Though I will admit to:

#1) Being tempted to have Gallus immediately follow after Silver without picking up the Pearl-piece, leaving Sky to pick it up instead.

And #2) Letting him shoot Ocean Flow either a glare for upsetting his girlfriend, or a line directed her way. What that line could have been is unknown; it could have been an “I’m sorry for causing so much trouble” or “It was nice to meet you” or just a plain ole “Sorry.” Instead, it fit the scene better for him to simply look at her with a “Pained expression.”

Sadly, I don’t have much to say about Ocean’s part of this scene since it’s exactly what you’d expect: Ocean Flow being strung along by the “Hand of the Author” to not explain herself whatsoever, instead saying only the barest minimum possible to imply a greater motivation for her actions while still being terrible enough to reinforce her role as the arc’s antagonist.

Some lines of hers I do want to acknowledge are:

“Honey, I am trying to help you!” Ocean argued, wanting to follow her daughter but meeting the rather insurmountable barrier that was dry land.

That part about the land was added relatively late into the chapter’s development—about halfway through plotting the Gallus/Ocean scene, I think? Added it for thematic reasons regarding a certain issue we’ll discuss in that aforementioned Gallus/Ocean scene.

“What are you even talking about!?” Silver shouted, leaving trenches in the sand beneath her talons. “Why would you ever think I’m not safe with him!?”

Evidently not wanting to answer that, Ocean instead deflected, “Honey, you can’t just throw your life away on some passing fling!”

Firstly, gotta love some more of that physicality with Silver digging her talons into the sand, much like how Gallus did to Gruff’s floor back in Ch.11(Closure).

To say nothing of how “beautifully” I lampshaded how I wasn’t allowing Ocean to explain herself via the “evidently not wanting to answer that” part.

“I— You can’t— I-I don’t—” she stuttered, not so much as glancing at the griffon.

I did consider having Ocean glance at Gallus—though certainly not say anything to him—but I decided it felt worse if she simply refused to look at him despite Silver’s pleading.

“Young lady, you get back here this instant!”

Boy is it rich to see her trying to assert parental power here with this particular remark.

“No, Sky Beak! We need to protect her! I need to protect her!”

I wish I had slipped in a dialogue tag here to convey how utterly panicked Ocean Flow was here, but I think simply leaving it be and emphasizing the “I” was enough.

“Silverstream, do you really think you’ll be happy with that boy!? That he can provide for you!? Can keep a roof over your head!? Can keep you safe!?”

And there I go again: Recycling old plot elements. In this case, it’s that previously discussed placeholder motivation regarding Ocean only wanting Silver to date Prince Guy for financial stability.

“Honey, Princess Twilight couldn’t even keep you safe!” she yelled over Sky Beak. “From a filly! Do you really think that— That— Outsider! Can!?” She then blinked and held a flipper to her muzzle, horrified by what she had just said.

There it is! The big, glaring neon sign showing Ocean’s true motivation is her paranoia over Silver’s safety, in light of how often she’s been put in jeopardy since going to Ponyville.

The “outsider” line was, as mentioned, yet more “Hand of the Author” nonsense, only having her say that to lead into Silverstream’s final rant. And because it portrayed her even more vilely, I included that last dialogue tag to show Ocean Flow was horrified by her own words, and genuinely regretted them—setup for her upcoming redemption.

“I-I…” Ocean gulped and forced herself to say, “It— It’s true…?”

The “forced herself to say” tag was added for the exact same reasons as the above line’s added tag: To provide an extra clue that Ocean was decidedly less awful than her dialogue portrayed. If plot hadn’t had to happen, you can bet Ocean would have apologized then and there, but “Hand of the Author” necessitated she double-down, if only for this moment.

Nevertheless, the lines elicit what they needed to: Silverstream’s rage.

It’s not exactly a secret Ocean Flow became Silver’s version of Grandpa Gruff, so it was only fair to grant Silver the same chance to give her not-so-great parental figure the absolute verbal beatdown that Gallus gave his. Or in Silver’s case: The acknowledgment of her own struggles with paranoia, open declaration of her true love for Gallus, and final stand against her mother’s paranoid tirades.

To put it more eloquently:

“So? If you’re never going to see him as anything more than an ‘outsider’?”

Silverstream ripped her necklace off, eliciting a shocked squawk from both of her parents.

“You can call me an ‘outsider’ too,” she declared, throwing her Pearl-piece into the sand. Silver then turned around and trotted away, striding right past Gallus without a word.

What especially sells the moment is how even though Silver had been trying to flee with Gallus the entire time, the moment she finishes, she walks right past him with neither a word nor glance—as noted in-story.

You might think I have more to say regarding Silver ditching her Pearl-piece here, but I don’t. She only does it to end this scene with some significant dramatic flair.

Like? There’s no possible way Ocean can deny how badly she screwed up when, despite her whole plan being to convince Silver to move back to Mount Aris, it backfires so spectacularly that Silver indirectly threatens to never come back.

But truthfully, the action came about more as an answer to the question: “How would Silver react to Ocean’s ‘outsider’ line?” And this was the answer I came to. If Gallus isn’t welcome in Mount Aris or by her family, then neither is she. Simple as that. Maybe a bit cliché, but who cares? I handled it rather well, if I do say so myself.

Like the great boyfriend he is, Gallus doesn’t hesitate to scoop up that Pearl-piece and rush off after his girlfriend to comfort her, leaving Ocean to return beneath the waves and sulk after Sky Beak makes darn sure she knows she’s the one who messed up.

And right around now is where I considered splitting Mount Aris into three chapters for two reasons:

# 1) The word count.

And #2) Who wouldn’t want to take advantage of that cliffhanger!?

Unfortunately, while a third Mount Aris chapter might have helped stave off that horrifyingly long word count, it’d mean adjusting the chapters to fit the three chapter format. Which would necessitate everything from here onward being stretched to fit the 12k-20k word average chapter length I had established by now, bloating the arc even more. So, uh, no.

The fact I didn’t want to admit defeat and split chapters again is beside the point.

As you might expect, the Harmoning Heights opening sequence was frustrating to write. I must have gone through at least three different interpretations of those first few paragraphs describing the area, and after a while, I just said, “Screw it!” and settled for what we got before focusing on Silverstream.

I was tempted to focus on her alone for a while, but I thought better of it. For one, Gallus snagged her Pearl-piece and booked it right after her, so she realistically wouldn’t have much time before he caught up. For another, the word count, and I didn’t exactly care to waste time pretending Silver genuinely meant her “Call me an outsider too!” spiel—Mount Aris is obviously still her home, and even Ocean’s nonsense isn’t gonna make her pretend otherwise, even on Gallus’ behalf. And for yet another, we had a Gallus/Ocean scene to get to.

Thus, Gallus pops in, and she immediately reaches out for her Pearl-piece—Without a word too; they know each other so well that Gallus knew she wanted it back, and Silver knew he’d return it to her.

Silver then reveals Ocean’s crime and that Prince Guy dared call her “dazzling”—An idea I came up with halfway through re-working that scene to give him dialogue: That he’d call her “dazzling” to parallel Gallus calling her “beautiful.” Which she prefers goes without saying.

Gallus, I was tempted to have react either far angrier Prince Guy had dared hit on his girlfriend, or shockingly ambivalent to it, suspecting/knowing Prince Guy probably hadn’t known Silver was dating him, considering whose plan he was a part of. The first reaction would have been too extreme in light of his character development, and the second wouldn’t work either since obviously Gallus wouldn’t be remotely happy Silver got hit on.

So I settled for a mix of the two. Gallus was indeed extremely peeved, but he quickly calmed himself down, prioritizing comforting Silver. Shame how his joke about Silver being both beautiful and dazzling didn’t go over well.

This prompts Silverstream into proclaiming how she shouldn’t have forgiven Ocean at the start of this chapter, but having gone through this exact song and dance mere months/chapters prior, Gallus makes it clear Silver did the right thing—At the time, I make sure to specify—forgiving her mother.

And because of character development and word count issues, Silver instantly accepts that. Doesn’t mean she isn’t still sorry for what happened, nor does it mean she’s even remotely okay. Thankfully, regardless of whatever pain he felt from Ocean’s tirade, Gallus does the good boyfriend thing by recycling the “Tell me what I can do that will help” line from last chapter, and this time, the answer is a simple one:

“Just hold me,” Silverstream pleaded, burying her face into his shoulder.

Gallus swiftly wrapped both his talons and wings around her and pulled her into his warm embrace. He then rubbed her back soothingly and felt his feathers dampen from her tears.

“Everything will be okay, Silverstream,” Gallus whispered comfortingly.

“Everything will be okay?” she asked, somewhat muffled.

“Everything will be okay,” he promised.

Silver sobbed again and slowly placed her own talons around him, crying freely.

Not far behind Gallus, however, was Sky Beak who’s included here by default. But what exactly to do with him now he was here?

Firstly, I make sure he notices Silver wore her necklace again, relieved by that fact. Secondly, he confirms Ocean’s gone, establishing Gallus will have to go diving again to chat her up. And thirdly, I allow the scene itself to breathe, having Sky Beak—the adult—try his best to comfort the children, taking care to show Sky hugged Gallus as closely as he did Silver.

Unfortunately… “Hand of the Author” is not yet done pulling the characters along by the strings of plot convenience. I had to get Gallus back underwater to talk to Ocean somehow, and Sky Beak paid the price—Not only, however reluctantly, asking Gallus to go away despite neither lovebird wanting that, but also allowing and encouraginga clearly upset Gallus to recklessly chase after an also clearly upset Ocean Flow, somehowthinking that’d be a good idea.

Sky Beak’s not alone, though; Gallus suffered too from the necessity of the next main scene—Accepting Sky’s request to leave, and up and bolting for Terramar’s Transformation Taxi Service, all despite Silver’s pleas.

And let’s talk about Silverstream here; goodness did I screw her over! Her mother denounced her entire relationship and claimed Gallus was little more than an “outsider,” she just blew up at said mother before throwing one her most treasured possessions into the dirt before storming off to be alone in a place she’s constantly accused of nearly burning down.

Skystar and Salina are nowhere to be seen, even Gallus’ compliments aren’t helping her feel better, and here comes her father—guided along by the once-invisible “Hand” that guided the course of her life—basically saying, “Hey, Gallus, go away so I can chat up my daughter off-screen. What’s that? You don’t want him to go, honey? Well, T O O B A D! Go ahead and have that Gallus/Ocean scene, Gallus; Silver doesn’t need the support of her future husband even though she’s begging you to stay.”

Admittedly, this is the last major occurrence of this “Hand of the Author” issue, but it sure did end with quite the terrible, grotesque bang. All of Silverstream’s agency, all of the emotional strength which let her stand up to Ocean Flow moments prior—All thrown out the window in favor of letting Gallus go do his own thing.

And I get it. There was no chance I’d skip out on the Gallus/Ocean scene. But while I desperately tried to have everyone’s decisions make sense, I didn’t exactly succeed. T.B.O.L. Gallus can hardly be called insensitive, but this really toed that line when I had Silver—because she realistically would—literally beg him not to leave her, beg her father to stop him and bring him back so they could keep hugging.

But no. Plot has to happen, so off Gallus goes, and the most Silver can do is lampshade the narrative train-wreck with a dumbstruck, “What’s happening?” as her sweetie abandons her to the clutches of Ocean’s backstory dump.

The only part of this I unquestionably like is how Sky and Silver immediately realize what Gallus planned I had planned for Gallus as soon as he inquired about Terramar.

…I utterly loathe this part of the Mount Aris arc; that’s a given.

Ocean Flow’s development and conversation with Gallus was no doubt worth it, but just…? Wow. Disregarding the Schizophrenia debacle, I think this might legitimately be the absolute worst mistake I made when writing this story.

Until now, characters and plot worked together to steer T.B.O.L. into the best possible direction, but here, it is just! So! Obvious! That plot overruled everything and forced the characters to do whatever was needed to ensure everything progressed exactly as planned, despite their personalities, development, or desires. And the most I could do was damage control, trying and failing to make every plot-mandated decision feel natural or sensible.

I hated this issue back then. And now, almost two years later, I still look back upon this blight upon the Mount Aris arc and The Bonds of Love with nothing shy of rage and shame.

And what was it all for again? A simple conversation between Gallus and Ocean Flow? Well, how about we see if that one single scene truly was worth it…

…

Or, we would, but the discussion for this chapter ran—I kid you not—longer than the 30k+ word long chapter itself! I… Really don’t know when to shut up, do I?

So—For the sake of sparing you the work of reading through a 47k+ word long discussion in one post—I’ll be stopping the discussion here for now.

Have no fear, however, the next half of this discussion will be dedicated specifically to the Gallus/Ocean Flow conversation, which is oddly fitting when you think about it.

Hope you’re all looking forward to next week when I gush over 90% of every single line of that conversation!

Obligatory Google Doc link.

Comments

[Summer Script]

~ Additional Tidbits ~

— 1)

“And you are the brightest, happiest, most splendorous creature in the world. Never, ever let anything or anyone convince you otherwise,” she commanded firmly-yet-kindly.

Gotta love Ocean making sure to reference how Silverstream is supposed to be the “Bright, happy, and chipper” one of the group, but what’s better is that subtle part toward the end. “Never let anyone convince her otherwise,” huh? Gee, I can only wonder who Miss “Gallus-Is-Totally-Trying-To-Isolate-My-Daughter-Isn’t-He?” could have been referring to there.

— 2)

“I know how that feels,” Gallus noted, chuckling. “Remember how scared I was of telling Ocellus I didn’t want to be a professor?”

“And then when you finally did, you realized you had just been overthinking things,” Silver happily reminisced.

“Yes, I had. And after I told you that, what was it you said to me?” He snapped his talons and said, “Oh, that’s right.”

“‘It’s not the examination that freezes your blood and shivers your spine; it’s the anticipation leading up to it,’” they both quoted, giggling at having spoken simultaneously.

Behold! Equal parts joke, reference to past chapters due to the story soon ending, and a blatant attempt at making Ch.7(Pride) somehow more relevant to the overall themes and plot!

— 3) I didn’t draw attention to this since it would’ve detracted from the scene, but I’ve always envisioned that when Silver “Rolled onto her side and smiled at him” when she was talking to Gallus, she totally struck the infamous “Draw me like one of your French girls” pose.

— 4)

The sun was shining, the birds were singing; the ocean was roiling.

Alas, if only there were flowers on the beach to bloom. Then the Undertale reference would be a tad more obvious.

— 5) A shame the CMC were never important to T.B.O.L. I wanted them to at least get something, but there was simply no purpose for their inclusion. And that’s especially sad when Terramar’s a good friend of theirs, so to not have a chance to have Terry even bring them up, even if only to ask Silver how they’re doing…? Well, that didn’t sit well with me.

So, when I had a chance to have Gallus paraphrase Scootaloo regarding how it felt like to swim as a seapony, thus providing an extra chance to reference the CMC? I took it. Hence:

“That ‘instruction booklet’ of yours is certainly helping,” Gallus snorted, rolling his eyes. “But it also helps that this feels a lot like flying.”

“You are not the first creature to say that to me, nor will you likely be the last,” he chuckled, making a mental note to send the Crusaders a letter later.

— 6) Funny story: “Non-Compete Clause” showed Gallus bobbing in the river without much problem alongside the others, so canonically, he likely can swim—life vest or no—and probably doesn’t even have much problem being in water to begin with. However, I still wanted to incorporate the element of him fearing the water anyway, so to address that, you’ve this line:

“I wasn’t exactly the best swimmer before, sooo…?”

An implication that he does know how to swim but is strongly against the activity.

Related to this topic, I realized the “Subconscious instruction booklet” came with the implication that using the Pearl-piece meant anyone at any time could transform into a different creature and automatically be a professional at whatever that creature was capable of.

I.E. Applejack could outspeed Rainbow Dash if she used it to become a pegasus since the Pearl would grant her the innate knowledge of how to fly. Or for a more extreme example: Cozy Glow could regain her alicorn form and an even greater understanding of the magics it afforded her.

That didn’t seem remotely fair to everycreature who didn’t have a Pearl-piece of their own, let alone balanced in regard to the overall magic system. Plus, it would mean accidentally implying Gallus, via his transformation, would become so spectacularly proficient at swimming compared to his griffon form that it would border on “Mary Sue” levels.

So to swiftly nix this concern, Terramar says this:

“You know how to swim as a seapony now, but you’re not suddenly some award-winning swimming champion.”

Clarifying the Pearl teaches only the bare essentials on operating whatever form it gives you, rather than blessing the user with immediate, unparalleled skill.

— 7)

“Gallus? After the crazy year, er, half a year we’ve had?

So here’s some dark humor for ya: The real reason Silverstream slips up and says they’ve had a “Crazy year” is an out-of-universe joke at how most of this story was written and published during 2020. But since that didn’t make sense in-universe, she corrects herself to “Half a year,” allowing the joke a secondary meaning: Everything they went through was so mentally draining, it legitimately felt to her like a proper year had come and kicked their flanks before vanishing into the wind.

— 8)

“Just like I love you. Oh, Gallus, I love you so much, and I want… I-I want…” Upon realizing what she had been about to say, Silver fell silent and blushed brilliantly.

“You want…what?”

Silverstream blinked at him for a second before smiling serenely and shyly answering, “I want you.”

I’mma be honest: I just wanted Silver to drop an “I want you” because it’d be cute. That’s probably obvious, but the thing is? The original way I wrote this segment was legitimately better than how it ultimately turned out. Mostly ‘cause the original format didn’t include the “I want you to hold me and never let go” exchange. But well? I thought that line up, and simplyhad to include it too. So, I did just that, literallybrute-forcing it into the scene andunnecessarily bloating it as a result.

Curse my apparent inability to not cut corners on even the tiniest of details!

— 9)

“You want…what?”

You cannot comprehend how much I wanted to put a dialogue tag here, one that showed Gallus was clued in on exactly what Silver wanted and was only asking to tease her. But I was determined to have him react the way he ultimately did, so I had to sacrifice the dialogue tag here, much to my vexation.

— 10)

“Especially your family! I mean…? We don’t love each other just because we snuggle and kiss all the time,” he grumbled.

“Well, obviously. We snuggle and kiss all the time because we love each other.”

This is probably my favorite line of the entire risque-ness conversation between Gallus and Silverstream. Conversely, this is probably my least favorite one:

“Why would I ever be silent? If I were, I wouldn’t be able to tell you how much I love you.”

“Oh, I’m sure you’d just write it down.”

“There’s not nearly enough paper in the world for me to write down just how much I love you,” Gallus declared, nuzzling her neck and relishing the delighted blush it drew out of her.

Is it adorable? Yes. Does it bloat the scene? Also yes.

— 11) Admit it: You grinned when you imagined a group of giant, woolly yaks in swimming gear out-performing the literal seaponies. No? Well, I sure did, hence they’re the opponent Seaquestria is so afraid of losing to.

— 12)

“Plus, Salina wagered I couldn’t do it, so I obviously had to prove her wrong.”

“The look on her face was priceless, not gonna lie,” Silver concurred, tittering.

Don’t mind me, I’m just blatantly setting up Salina’s arrival in the next thirty seconds.

— 13)

“But the only girl I wanna be pounced by is Silverstream.”

Ocean Flow:
germguy.files.wordpress.com/2016/10/oh-really.jpg

— 14)

A moment later, a new voice suddenly exclaimed, “Is that my favorite, little arsonist I see?”

I considered having Salina call Silver her “Favorite, little sister” here, but I figured the arsonist thing was funnier.

15) It took a longer time than I’d like to admit to determine how Gallus would react to Salina asking him if he was okay after learning he was an orphan. Like? A long time. I think almost a full 2+ hours spent sitting there… Trying to decide if I should have him react exactly how he did with Stratus, just to play into the copy/paste nature of the joke, and have Silver call attention to how Stratus asked the same questions earlier.

Eventually, I realized I was overthinking things, and with how long I knew the chapter would get, I opted to hand-wave the issue to save time and words.

— 16) The inspiration for Silver’s line here:

“No, Mother, this is where you zip it!” Silver hollered, instantly acquiring her silence.

Was from what Tony Stark said to Peter Parker during that scene in Spiderman: Homecoming.

Though on this subject, you gotta love how much kinder Silver is toward her dad when he tries butting in:

“Honey—”

“Not now, Dad,” she calmly cut Sky Beak off.

Yeah. Subtle as brick for which parent you prefer, Silver, real subtle.

— 17) For those interested, the music I listened to when writing the Harmonizing Heights scene was this: