The Writing of The Bonds of Love (Chapter Eleven: Closure, Part One)

Ah, Ch.11(Closure). For a while, I considered this to be the best chapter of The Bonds of Love, even better than the Smolder and Mount Aris chapters. It’s not hard to see why—Ch.10(Home) did most of the setup concerning Gallus’ feelings toward Griffonstone, leaving Ch.11(Closure) to ride that setup and finally discuss his and Gruff’s relationship—something I’ve wanted to address since the very beginning with A Day for Family.

And it certainly seemed the site agreed with me that this was one of the best chapters—This was the first one to hit the Featured Tab. It was only there for about an hour, but it was one of the best hours of my life!

Speaking as someone who finds it hard to be proud, much less confident, in the things I do…? Seeing my story, in spite of the massive word count, the month-long waits between updates, and me being so new to the site, somehow make it to the Featured Tab as soon as I updated it and then stay there for a solid hour…!? I’m not exaggerating when I say I literally told myself to never forget that feeling. That sheer, unadulterated pride in my work, that mix of accomplishment and euphoria…

So yeah. That was a great night and an even better confidence boost. Let’s hope I can reach that Featured Tab again at some point in the future, but for now, let’s finally get into the chapter at hand.

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~ The Calm Before the Storm ~

Thanks to the latest chapter split, I needed an introductory scene. Additionally, I needed to finish resolving Smolder’s subplot. So to kill two birds with one stone, I recycled the “Silver gives Gallus a painting” idea from all that time ago.

And of course, I wanted to keep the subject of the painting a secret for now, so no descriptions for you guys beyond it taking three days for Silver to do—A subtle answer to how much time has passed between these two chapters. Silver is certainly proud of her newest work at least, even if she does set up the enchantment thing in some rather clunky exposition.

With the painting finished, Silver must turn her attention to something else, lest she die of boredom—Or worse: Start dwelling on Gallus’s well-being—so she looks to her books.

Me and My Shadow and Plumbing 101: Fixing the Sink are there for the obvious references, but The Ground Beneath our Hooves: A Comprehensive Study of the Planetary Layers is there for a different reason: Silverstream remembered how much Gallus enjoyed Slate Sentiments’ Science Fair project on the subject and checked out the book so she could learn more about something he was interested in.

That’s still one of my personal favorite details I put in the story, but since no one ever commented about it, I’ve no idea if people caught it or not.

Sadly, I still have more drama to unleash upon these characters, so Silver remembers the letters in her desk and decides to give her mother one more chance to not endlessly insult Gallus. Also, fun fact: I wrote this scene first then later retroactively added Silver glancing at her desk last chapter when talking to Gallus about Ocean to foreshadow the letters being in it.

As is obvious, this entire segment is foreshadowing to the Ocean Flow dilemma, and the fact I felt it necessary to have Ocean put quotation marks around the word Safe in the first letter was a pretty dead giveaway as to what her true concerns were.

We also have some foreshadowing as to how Sky Beak views the situation with how Ocean thinks he “brushed her off” as well as Ocean’s feelings regarding him with the added “As usual” line. Which, for the record, was going to have ellipses after it. Yeah, I know, I just love that stupid “…” and I wanted to place it after “as usual” to add some extra emotion behind Ocean saying that. However, I was framing Ocean’s words as a letter, andI didn’t think she’d actually put the “…” in what she was writing.

You know what makes this hang-up really stupid? The fact the very first line of the first letter ends with a “…” Yeah. At some point or another I realized how needlessly stupid it was to think “Oh, this is a letter, so I have to write it how Ocean would write it, punctuation and all!” and just decided to use whatever punctuation I wanted, hence the upped usage of exclamation marks.

One compromise I didn’t make regarding all of this, however, was de-italicizing certain words to add that particular emphasis. Why? Don’t know. I was overthinking things again. As a result, the line:

And that griffon.

Wasn’t given any extra emphasis such as: “And that griffon,” or “And that griffon.”

In all honesty, I’d have likely avoided adding emphasis anyway regardless of whether or not I overthought this issue.

I still have more story to tell, however,and didn’t want to drag this scene any further, so rather than show Silver speed-reading through Ocean’s other letters, I have her skip straight to the last one where Ocean, thanks to Terramar, seems to have calmed down enough to where she happily makes swimming puns which Silver finds humorous because of course she loves puns.

Unfortunately, Ocean still expects her to visit for the holiday—boy was she terrified surprised when Silver didn’t!—and even worse, she once more suggests Silver hook up with Prince Guy.

Enraged, Silver decides to never read anymore of her mother’s letters from then on. But beneath that anger is something else: A flicker of paranoia. After all? Why would everyone be so supportive of her and Gallus’ relationship, except Ocean Flow. What does her mother know or see that Silverstream doesn’t…? Is there, perhaps, something wrong with their relationship? Does Ocean simply not think Silverstream could be happy with Gallus? If so, why?

Obviously Silver is upset to know her mother is so unsupportive of Gallus-Stream, but I deliberately left the reasons why understated.

Granted, Ocean Flow is her mother, so everything she says or thinks Silverstream would naturally take to heart. And the notion Ocean didn’t think she’d be happy with Gallus…? Well, it hurts. But why would it hurt so much? Realistically speaking, it shouldn’t matter if Ocean didn’t support her and Gallus’ love. She’s stuck in Seaquestria, and everyone else in Silver’s life is supportive of them, and that should be all Silver needed. So then, why would Ocean’s words matter so much regardless?

Well? To paraphrase Gallus from so long ago: It just does. It. Matters. And I left it like that.

It also helped that I couldn’t think of any overly convoluted explanation for why Silver was so hurt by Ocean Flow’s lack of support, and thus, literally couldn’t provide one even if I wanted to.

All that to say, I wanted the Ocean Flow situation to mirror the Gruff situation in this particular matter, and I think I succeeded quite well.

Something I didn’t succeed quite well at, however, was subtlety. Because once Silver is done re-stating how much time has passed between chapters, Starlight pops in, ropes Silver into helping her bake for the holiday party—alittle blue birdie told her Silver was a master baker —and leaves her and Smolder alone to sort out their issues.

At least I make fun of myself for it with Smolder and Silver both knowing exactly what Starlight’s plan is and poking fun at how unsubtle Starlight herself is.

Another thing I didn’t do very well was Silver suddenly asking to talk to Starlight later about her painting. Whoops! Sorry, I meant a “friendship thing she needed help with.” This is yet another retroactive addition.

Silverstream didn’t originally do that, but when editing, I realized this was the only time Silver would interact with Starlight on-screen for this chapter. So, I felt I had to have Silverstream jump at the chance to ask Starlight about the enchantment. It’s clunky, but I once again poke fun at myself for it by having Smolder almost catch on and Silver panic accordingly.

As for why Silver said it had to do with a “Laughter lesson”? I think you guys can probably guess why, given the core theme of the Element of Laughter is helping spread cheer and joy to everyone, no matter their plight. “All I need is a smile, smile, smile” as Laughter’s Bearer sings.

Smolder then demonstrates her character development is sticking far faster than Gallus’ did by way of being more optimistic over Gallus’ trip than she was prior. And why shouldn’t she be? Unsubtle or not, Starlight just handed Smolder an excuse to spend some time with her friend on a silver platter, and she’s not about to be ungrateful for that.

So off the girls go to have their own subplot, and back we go to Griffonstone to catch up with our favorite bluebird.

I don’t waste any time calling back to both Gallus sending the recording of their play to Gruff and the alternate Ch.4(Optimism) script via Grissy and Gavin wondering how Gallus didn’t suffer stage fright. His answer? I realized that didn’t work for his character he simply had to memorize his lines and say them correctly. Though, I suppose that line might have made more sense had the personality issue remained. Eh, whatever.

We then leap back into discussing Gallus and Gruff’s horrible relationship. More specifically, we learn Gruff is so apathetic toward Gallus’ achievements that he’d go so far as to threaten to sell his medal—because griffons love Bits and all that stereotypical junk—and even gave the tape to Gilda so he wouldn’t have to watch it.

That said? Whether or not Gruff did watch the tape of Gallus’ play and only gave it Gilda after he did, or if he genuinely didn’t care to watch it…? I’ll leave that to your interpretation.

Gallus’ interpretation, sadly, is the latter, yet despite this, he still instinctively defends Gruff when Griselda points out the obvious: Gruff is an ahole and shouldn’t be treating Gallus that way. But emotions are complicated, and Gallus definitely hasn’t sorted out his own regarding Gruff. He certainly tries though, as evidenced by the next stretch of internal dialogue.

I’ve already noted that “More internal dialogue = Worse emotional state” before, but I want to highlight these few lines:

Gruff doesn’t have to care about you or your dumb hobbies.

Firstly, remember this one; this will be important when we discuss Gruff later. Secondly, I’d like to point out how Gallus calls them “dumb hobbies.” Obviously another showcase of how badly his relationship with Gruff is affecting him, to the point he briefly belittles his own interests despite genuinely loving them. This issue, though understated, happens again rather soon…

So unless you plan to make him love you, you may as well give up, a dark part of his mind suggested.

So, “Cozy Glow” was never going to show up again, but you can tell I was alluding to her with the “A dark part of his mind” part.

We’re not supposed to be upset.

Was yet another recycled remnant of the personality issue in how Gallus tries to convince himself he doesn’t even have the right to be mad at how Gruff treats him. However, Gallus then follows up this statement with the question, “Do we?” Two little words which show that, although Gallus still can’t bring himself to feel genuine anger toward Gruff', he’s had enough progress to know in his heart Gruff treats him like st and he does indeed have the right to be mad at that.

Not wanting to bog down the pacing—Gallus shuts down his own internal dialogue and declares he must go serve Gruff as an impromptu janitor. Naturally, Gavin’s upset by this considering the promise Gallus made last chapter, but Gallus is quick to reassure him he’ll still keep it.

To those who read Ch.10(Home)’s Author Note, this is probably when you realized something bad was about to happen. And it was likely made even worse if you took note of Griselda’s “Kid, nogriff is coming here in that blizzard.” line and how she was closing up the library early. And as I’m writing this, I’m just smiling maniacally because I know—and now you know too—what this particular segment was meant to foreshadow.

But to backtrack a bit, Griselda is, of course, infuriated to learn Gallus is cleaning up Gruff’s house for him. Why? Because she needed the extra characterization. She’s in that same situation the Drama Club characters were in, and given I wanted to imply how she and Gallus were indeed childhood friends, it only made sense she’d be angered on his behalf that Gruff was using him, especially when Gallus was so determinedly refusing to accept that.

It’s why she even counters with the Kindness Lesson about not letting creatures abuse your kindness. Well, that, and to show, once again, she was reading the Friendship Journal and having her own little personal journey to being a better griffon. But mostly it was to show Griselda trying to help her friend escape that toxic headspace of “Do whatever I can to make Gruff love me” even if she doesn’t fully comprehend that’s exactly what’s going through Gallus’ head.

Makes me wonder if I should have slipped in a line somewhere about the Griffonstone Library having self-help and Psychology books now too. It’d certainly be a neat play on the Psychology section issue from earlier, would add some additional world-building to the Restoration Project—They were trying to help teach the populace more about how to help themselves and healthily interact with each other—and would nicely explain why Griselda would be so immediately suspicious of Gallus defending Gruff and wanting to clean his house.

Then again? It’s not necessary I did any of that. Griselda knows something’s wrong with Gallus’ relationship with Gruff because, well? Just because. It’s obvious something is wrong, and she’s not an idiot. Thus, she points out how wrong it is Gruff is making Gallus do his chores while he’s on vacation.

That said, she also understands she doesn’t know everything about what’s going on between them and respects that, so she ultimately backs off rather than push the issue further, giving one last warning to Gallus that Gruff “has a way of worming his way into everygriff’s head.”

A subtle implication Gallus isn’t the only griffon Gruff’s messed with, knowingly or unknowingly, and a perfect explanation why Gilda was so fervently hostile to him last chapter—something Griselda even acknowledges.

Nevertheless, Griselda does relent, but her warnings thankfully push Gallus to reexamine the situation one last time. Sadly, it only results in the same outcome: Gallus has to go clean up Gruff’s house, both because he already promised he would and because he really wants to spend time with Gruff no matter how it happens.

I even bring back the “No more cowardice” line. Though, given the context? It’s probably not good it returned since it shows Gallus is framing his decision to bend over backwards to spend time with Gruff as “Heroic.”

But plot is going to happen one way or another. So, over the mountain and through the snowstorm to Grandpa’s house, we go!

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~ Father Guardian and Son ~

Until now, all we’ve seen and heard of Gallus and Gruff’s relationship is that it’s extremely unhealthy and the latter is a dismissive jerk. However, it couldn’t be that simple; there had to besome flicker of mutual love for Gallus to be so stubbornly desperate for Gruff’s validation.

I could have simply said, “Gruff’s a jerk, and Gallus should cut him off,” but that’d be too easy. I’ve said before I don’t like one-note antagonists who exist solely to be one-note antagonists, and Gruff was dangerously close to becoming one. Not to mention, I already planned for Gallus and Gruff to make amends, so I also had to establish that was even a possibility.

Simply put, it was time to finally show some of the positive parts of their relationship.

But we must first lead into showing said positive parts which means a tad more of the unhealthy ones. Thankfully, Gallus is finally beginning to acknowledge that unhealthiness himself, even if he can’t quite accept it yet.

Gruff doesn’t come to the door at first because he didn’t think Gallus would actually show up—Like Grissy said, Gallus is on vacation and shouldn’t be spending it doing somegriff else’s chores—but once he comes to the door, whatever anger Gruff might have had for potential carolers instantly becomes neutrality upon seeing Gallus who he quickly invites in with the line:

“Hurry! Get inside before you get hypothermia again!”

…What’s that? That wasn’t the line? Oh! Right, it’s Gruff talking which means you have to apply the “Cranky, old guy” filter, translating the line into:

“Get your flank in ‘ere before Ah have to chisel you off mah step!”

While Gallus does as instructed, I want to take the chance to discuss Gruff’s accent. Which is to say, I had no idea whatsoever how to write it—I even said as such in Ch.10(Home)’s Author Note. But I wanted to at least try communicating said accent, so I did, and here are the original changes:

#1) I = Ah

#2) Me = Meh

#3) My = Mah

#4) You = Ya

#5) Your = Yer

#6) [Insert Word Here]-ing = [Insert Word Here]-in’

And you’ll notice the only changes I kept were the first,third, and sixth. Why? Because I realized Gruff would sound like Applejack if the other changes were made, so I went back and undid them. Took over half an hour because I kept missing changes and finding them during the editing process. … Yeah, that was fun…

What’s not fun is Gallus’ attempt to pseudo-manipulate Gruff into spending time with him fails spectacularly, thanks in no small part to Gruff seeing right through it. BUt rather than talk to Gallus normally, Gruff treats him with that same old dismissive apathy. And whatever words he does say are put through the “Cranky, old guy” filter once more.

For instance:

“Ah already told you; did you forget that quickly?”

Could have been a simple dose of sarcasm. But given it’s Gruff and there’s not a hint of a dialogue tag(I.E. “He said with a smirk”), there’s no way to know.

Unfortunately, Gallus takes it the wrong way, hastily apologizing and practically begging Gruff to keep talking to him, even realizing how—in his own words—pathetic he sounds.

Even more unfortunately, Gruff sees the begging for what it is too and is not remotely pleased at Gallus’ attempts to weasel even further into his life, hitting Gallus with the cabinet incident remark before fleeing to the depths of his room, never to be seen again until the work is done.

So, few things:

#1) Gallus getting stuck in a cabinet was an implicit explanation for Gallus’ claustrophobia. I didn’t exactly like providing said explanation; Gallus could just be claustrophobic, he doesn’t necessarily need some complicated backstory for having that fear. But I thought it’d be a neat detail regardless and a nice attention to realism for Gallus to have gotten into some kind of mess when cleaning for Gruff in the past. Plus, I needed Gruff to say something to end the conversation.

#2) Gruff telling Gallus to yell for him if he got stuck in the cabinet was yet another example of Gruff trying to say something nice—In this case: If you get hurt, scream and I’ll come help—which got filtered through Gruff’s “Cranky, old guy” filter yet again. That said, if Gallus did get hurt or stuck in the cabinet, Gruff would have come running to help him.

#3) When Gallus looked at the fireplace mantle and was disappointed, I considered not elaborating as to what it was he saw, or ratherdidn’t see—any pictures like Gilda had. I figured you guys would be smart enough to make that connection yourselves, but the more I thought about it, I realized it’d be best to explicitly state that fact anyway.

It had been over a month since the last chapter, and I didn’t draw attention to Gilda’s pictures being around her fireplace specifically, so the comparison wouldn’t be immediately obvious.

#4) Also regarding the pictures, I want to draw your attention to the fact Gallus expected there to be pictures of him, then swiftly berated himself for expecting said pictures, citing Gruff doesn’t care about or owe him anything. Remember this, it’ll be important later.

#5) After having Gruff tell Gallus the broom was in the usual spot twice—another tell this isn’t the first time Gallus has cleaned Gruff’s house—there was only one possible thing I could do: Have Gallus still ask where the broom was. It was too good a joke to pass up.

Moving on, we get the return of the “Gallus’ Future” subplot with him taking a gander at the near spotless Casa del Gruff, and here’s the kicker: He’s proud of the work he’s done! Our favorite bluebird still has his character development, everybody! Hooray!

As if it weren’t obvious already, you can see from all these mentions of character development how bitter I still am over the development backsliding shenanigans of Ch.6(Stagnation).

But now is time to show Gallus and Gruff being happy with each other for a change. Gruff is still Gruff though, so he has a good laugh at scaring Gallus silly. Afterward, he sets up the picture Gilda gives Gallus later before denying he wrapped said item—Aww! Gruff is participating in the holiday! —and claiming he instead took a nap. After that, however, the “Cranky, old guy” filter turns back on, and a simple sarcastic retort about Gallus “clamorin’ around” comes out a far cry more malicious than Gruff intended.

Unless, he did intend it, of course…? Though, the lack of dialogue tags makes that ambiguous.

That’s the second time I’ve brought up the dwindling amount of dialogue tags in these conversations between Gruff and Gallus, and…? Some of its done purposefully to ensure lines remain ambiguous.

However, I think Ialso cut back on the dialogue tagsthis chapter because of that dialogue tag dilemma I mentioned last chapter—no dialogue tags means no boring ones.Otherwise, I’m not sure why I decreased my dialogue tag usage in these few sections.

The inner machinations of my mind are truly an enigma, even unto myself.

What I do remember is having Gallus’ previously established anger from the last chapter slowly make a comeback via defending himself from Gruff’s criticisms. But we’re not at their fight just yet, so we move the conversation along with Gruff acknowledging Gallus forgot the rafters—as he always does, according Gruff—but while Gallus is all set to go and rectify that issue—His “I hate leaving a job half-done” line was obviously a nod to the perfectionism problem—Gruff holds him back. Why? Well, could simply be Gruff genuinely thinks Gallus has done enough cleaning, especially since he’s supposed to be enjoying his vacation. Or could be what Gruff says: Gilda would know Gruff made Gallus do it and make him pay him.

Whatever the true reason Gruff stopped Gallus mid-cleaning, I’ll leave to your interpretation, but Gallus takes Gruff’s possible joke seriously and reassures he’d give the Bits back. And so begins the part of the conversation where I show there was indeed a glimmer of happiness between Gallus and Gruff with the two bantering back and forth like old buddies, with the latter even joining in on the humor with the mock-countdown.

For the faintest, briefest of moments… Gallus and Gruff were happy together, laughing together, having fun together… Sure, it’s unnerving the entire joke is about Gruff not wanting to pay Gallus for physical labor and Gallus trying to ensure he won’t get paid—don’t even get me started on how they had a secret, hollowed-out book for such a purpose—but it’s insignificant compared to the fact they actually are having fun together, rather than Gallus being a love-starved wreck and Gruff being a dismissive prat.

Tragically, it all comes to a screeching halt because I can’t let either Gallus or you, the audience, have good things. Gruff will never visit “Ponyland” again if he can help it. And while Gallus tries halfheartedly defending Equestria’s banks, Gruff has dealt with Griffonstone’s banks enough to know better—or rather, think he knows better.

But rather than continue this particular topic—something Gruff knows will anger him and knows Gallus probably doesn’t care about—he drops it and gives Gallus a genuine, proper compliment.

…It’s really telling how love-starved Gallus actually is that he practically explodes in euphoria then and there, immediately placing “Cleaning Crew” back on his possible futures list. Worse still, it hints at how Gruff might also be the inadvertent culprit behind Gallus having such a massive problem with deciding what he wants for his future.

Case in point, this line:

“Pssh! ‘Bank manager’? You? Yeah, right!”

Could be Gruff deriding Gallus for considering such a craft? Could be him having a laugh at the idea Gallus would even consider a job he knows Gallus wouldn’t like? Or most likely: Both.

Either way, Gallus certainly doesn’t take it well, immediately defaulting to believing he simply isn’t cut out for it. Even when he knows full-well it’s who he is that earns him a career, the slightest hint of discouragement from Gruff is enough to shatter his confidence in that fact.

And unfortunately for him, right then and there is when Gruff finally decides to start showing more of an interest in Gallus’ life.

Although overjoyed by this, Gallus will be regretting it in a moment. For while I considered having Gruff make a similar joke about there being no way Gallus would be a good politician enjoy being a politician, I instead have the vulture latch onto the Wonderbolt comment and point out Gallus wouldn’t get in on account of his species.

A not-so-fun hint at where Gallus’ insecurities regarding his own griffon-hood first originated…

Nice to know Rainbow Dash already answered that question with assurances Gallus would be accepted so long as his flying skills are up to snuff. And thanks to his character development, Gallus has the pride and confidence to assert he very much does have the flying skills.

Not to be outwitted by Gilda’s pony pen-pal, however, Gruff continues his cynicism by acknowledging Rainbow has no control whatsoever in who does or doesn’t get in the Wonderbolts—a fact Gallus is forced to concede, even if he knows that too doesn’t matter. But while he may know that fact, he hasn’t the heart to argue the point against Gruff.

This wasn’t exactly the right call though; Gallus’ silence on the matter only served to further convince Gruff he was correct that Equestria is racist and to truly get ahead in the world is through nepotism.

Good thing Vellum wasn’t there to hear Gruff say as such; he probably would have exploded from sheer indignation.

Once again, I recycle elements of the personality issue by having Gallus force himself to agree with Gruff because “That’s what he wanted me to say,” yet I also show his development via Gallus acknowledging he didn’t believe Gruff was right, didn’t want to agree with it, and didn’t have to agree with it in the first place.

All that was left unspoken, unfortunately, resulting in Gruff thinking he’s completely correct again. He even says as such, giving Gallus something resembling a reassuring pat on the shoulder while claiming he was “Trying to spare Gallus the disappointment.”

Good on Gruff for trying to help Gallus, but sweet Celestia is his worldview outdated.

Now, Gallus could have easily given in and agreed with Gruff, bottling his emotions up and— Oh! Who am I kidding!? You guys know I wasn’t about to let Gallus backslide on his character development again! So, even though Gallus tries convincing himself not to argue with Gruff, to just accept his elder’s words regardless of their validity, and to just be happy Gruff’s even talking to him…

Gallus shrugs off Gruff’s talon and calls out Gruff for what he’s actually doing: Discouraging him.

Another favorite, blink-and-you’ll-miss-it detail here: Gruff “Makes a show of slowly putting his talon back down.” Gallus doesn’t even comment on it, yet that little gesture says quite a lot about Gruff, none of it pleasant…

Another unpleasantry: After Gallus calls him out, Gruff immediately teeters between neutrality and hostility, claiming “It ain’t discouragin’ if it’s the truth” and then turning it right back on Gallus by asking—accusing, really—“You didn’t really wanna be a Wonderbolt, did you?”

Gallus’ internal response? “Not anymore I don’t.” A truly horrifying answer, all things considered. Even though Gallus knows Gruff is wrong about the Wonderbolts, and even though he openly acknowledged Gruff was only discouraging him…? Gruff still succeeded in dissuading Gallus from the career path.

And just as easily as he swung to being neutral/hostile, Gruff bounces right back to being jovial, by jokingly assuming Gallus—aike all other griffons—only considered the job for the Bits.

And though the personality issue makes yet another return with Gallus trying to convince himself to agree with Gruff just to keep him happy and stop him from shutting him out…? It couldn’t possibly have stopped Gallus from answering truthfully.

Because the answer is Gallus didn’t consider the Wonderbolts for the paycheck—to Gruff’s shock. Gallus considered it because of Silverstream—to Gruff’s fury.

Up till now, all I had planned was for Gruff to upset Gallus enough that he’d storm out into the blizzard, but once I reached this point in writing, it was only natural to bring Silver into the equation, especially considering I had her and Gruff’s conversation next chapter planned out.

Needless to say, it’s because of what Gruff talks to Silverstream about next chapter that he gets majorly peeved off here, and this line probably best shows that:

“But when you break up, what then? You’ll be trapped in a job you joined just for her, and you won’t even be together anymore.”

Gallus being interested in joining the Wonderbolts? Cool. No problem there, other than him possibly getting rejected for not being a pony—An issue Gruff acknowledges, even if it hurts Gallus rather than helps him. But Gallus being interested in joining the Wonderbolts, not of his own aspirations, but because some other creature was mildly interested in him? That’s where Gruff takes issue.

Joining the Wonderbolts is a commitment, like any major lifelong career path. So Gallus should only consider such commitments if he himself is genuinely interested in them, not just so he can hang out with somecreature else. And especially not just so he can spend time with his girlfriend.

Except Gallus is, you know, a kid. A brilliant kid, sure, but a kid nonetheless. Gruff, on the other hand, is old and mature enough to know mixing work and romance isn’t usually a good idea—Made even worse, considering what he knows about a certain pair of griffons. Plus, even if Gallus and Silver could find that work/life balance and be happy together, Gallus should still only join the Wonderbolts because of his own interests and desires—no one else’s. And Gruff says as such.

Well? He tries to say all this anyway. However, it gets shoved through the “Cranky, old guy” filter, and Gallus hates every word it comes out as.

Thus, they argue.

And thanks to everything he’s been through, Gallus remembers his every feeling is equally important—even anger—and he at long last lets that anger out, swearing he and Silver will never break up.

But while you may know they’ll totally stay together, and I know they’ll totally stay together, all Gruff knows is Gallus is suddenly dating one of his friends, claiming they’ll never break up—despite not even havingtheir 2^nd Date yet—planning his entire future life and career around this friend, and is even considering being her husband.

I’d again like to remind you Gallus is a teenager.

Hearing such proclamations as “I’m not gonna pretend that I don’t love her o-or that I don’t want to still be with her ten…? Twenty…? Eighty years from now!” from a love-starved teenager he knows has problems being confident in and proud of himself…?

Yeah, Gruff’s not happy, and he’s even less so when he double-checks and realizes Gallus is hedging his entire future on a girl he’s only known for two years and has been dating for only half of one.

But Gruff’s ire pales in comparison to Gallus’. Because, after all this time and all he’s been through, for Gruff to waltz in and seemingly go, “You’re pathetic, you don’t know what love is like, and Silverstream will leave you like I and your parents both did”…? Yeah, no. Gallus is having none of that. And though he tries feebly to reel in his fury, it’s been building for far too long to be quelled, especially when Gallus knows full-well it’s righteous.

And so, when Gruff finally asks the simple question of when did the lovebirds meet and get together, Gallus gives him the cold, hard, honest answer.

Friends and Family Day.

Silverstream was there for him; Gruff wasn’t. No matter how much Gallus begged him to, Gruff never came. Not for the holiday, not for the play, not for the Science Fair…

And though confused at first as to why Twilight’s made-up holiday had anything to do with Gallus-Stream, once Gruff knows the full context, he’s only more enraged.

Because now, it’s not about Gallus planning his entire life around a relationship that might not last. Now, it’s about Gallus being in such a relationship purely because he needs someone else to love and be proud of him.

Because he can’t be proud of himself.

He needed Gruff to be proud of him, and when Gruff didn’t budge, Gallus turned to Silverstream.

Now, I know that’s not entirely true, and you know that’s not entirely true, but Gruff…? He doesn’t. And he makes that very clear, throwing it back onto Gallus that he should simply “get over it” and that he doesn’t seem to care Gilda and Gabby didn’t show up either.

The girls not showing up either was always a lingering issue regarding this situation, and I needed to address that at some point or another. Thus, Gallus does precisely that by putting it right back on Gruff—that Gallus asked him to be there, not the girls.

But alas, poor Trixie thought she was helping back in “A Horseshoe-In,” and while Gallus certainly appreciated her sticking up for him, her outburst had a rather unfortunate consequence.

Gruff knows he’s not welcome in Equestria. I’d say he “believes” that, but no. “Know” is the correct verb, if everycreature’s reaction to him in the next two chapters was any indication. Honestly, Gilda’s treatment of him is enough indication to know Gruff is barely even tolerated in Griffonstone.

Regardless, Gallus begged Gruff time and again to visit him, to support him, so for Gruff to seemingly not care whatsoever…? Well, that begs the question Gallus asks: Does Gruff even care?

Gruff’s response? Deflect and claim Gallus doesn’t need to know he’s proud of him.

But why doesn’t Gallus need to know that? Another question Gallus poses, and one Gruff has no proper response to other than to deflect again, bottle his own feelings up rather than properly address them, and fling it back onto Gallus and Silver.

Gallus does his best Smolder impression, raking his talons against the floor he spent so much time cleaning and tidying up not half an hour prior, but Gruff persists, and soon his own bottle breaks and he lets loose the accusation he’s been holding in since the fight’s beginning.

That Gallus is only with Silverstream because he still can’t love and be proud of himself.

Needless to say, that was the final straw for Gallus. He’s been fretting throughout this entire story over whether or not Gruff genuinely cares for him, wanting that to be true, treating that possibility as some glorified silver lining amid all the frustration and heartache Gruff’s absenteeism caused him. But Gruff’s words have finally convinced Gallus his hopes were for not. Gruff doesn’t care. There’s no more denying it.

So Gallus does what anyone and everyone should do when stuck in a relationship as unhealthy and painful as his and Gruff’s: He gets out.

And because I’m not subtle, I have Gallus literally tell himself to do that, but not before telling Mr. Gruff how, yeah, Gallus does still have problems being proud of himself, but it is far easier to be that lately thanks to his character development. But regardless of that, Gallus still wishes Mr. Gruff would be proud of him too.

Gallus then runs away, refusing(barely) to stop and come back when Gruff calls after him, and disappears into the blizzard he’s been so fond of not wanting to be in.

And since I’m planning for these two to make up later, I make sure to sneak in Gruff fretting over Gallus forgetting his coat when he runs off into the cold.

I love this entire sequence so much; I handled the emotional complexity of Gallus and Gruff’s relationship magnificently here! And yet, it still gets better from here! But we’ll further discuss said complexity later; for now, we have the aftermath of this argument to discuss.

---

~ Unhappy Holidays ~

We’d gotten a lot of time devoted to Griselda and Gavin, and we were bound for more with the latter, so I figured Gilda and Gabby were overdue for some time of their own. Oh, and Greta too, I guess, after shooing away Gavin by way of impromptu bedtime.

The girls needed to know what happened between Gruff and Gallus, but since we literally just saw their argument, I compromised by having Gallus tell them it off-screen with Gilda asking what happened again just to be safe—and in a noticeably gentler tone than how she spoke to and of Gruff.

Gallus reaffirms what happened, and I make fun of myself again for how quickly I had Gallus and Gruff’s conversation turn sour via Gallus noting how “It all happened so fast.”

Gilda then decides to give Gabby the spotlight, knowing she’ll get her own one-on-one scene with Gallus later, and leaves to give Gruff the beatdown he’s deserved for a while now, pausing only so Greta can try talking her out of it.

And because emotions are complicated, Gallus has a moment where he still instinctively considers defending Gruff, but after everything that happened, he can’t bring himself to act upon that impulse.

The same cannot be said for Gilda who’s determined to beat up Gruff since—to quote Gilda herself—she let Gruff get away with not visiting Gallus, but he’s gone too far this time. The others not reprimanding Gruff for never visiting Gallus needed to be acknowledged too, especially after Gallus asked Gabby to ask him to attend the Fair, and this was the best time to do it—not counting Gilda deriding Gruff last chapter for not even talking to Gallus.

And while Greta wholeheartedly agrees Gruff deserves a black eye, she doesn’t want Gilda running off into a blizzard to give him one—both because she knows hurting Gruff isn’t the morally correct thing to do andbecause she worries for Gilda’s safety(D’awww!). That said, Greta understands she can’t exactly stop Gilda, so she settles for telling Gilda to not beat Gruff up too much and to hurry back when she’s done.

Gilda, however, suggests throwing Gruff into the blizzard—such splendorous foreshadowing, that line—but Greta, unamused, threatens to tag along to keep Gilda in check. And she was being serious too, which Gilda knows full-well; thus, she promises not to leave Gruff to the jaws of the blizzard, brags about knowing how not to leave marks, and vamooses before Greta can stop her.

Greta then states the obvious: They’re all dysfunctional. I mean, Gilda literally just bragged about knowing how not to leave marks when hurting someone. Whether Gruff deserved being punched aside, that skill is decidedly not something anyone, let alone Gilda, should take pride in…

I love that little conversation between Gilda and Greta. It’s not the most complex moment in my story—it doesn’t even hold a candle to the upcoming Gallus/Gavin scene, let alone the Gallus/Gruff one—but I love it regardless. It’s the best chance we get to see the true depth of their relationship.

They both know kicking Gruff’s flank isn’t the right thing to do, despite both agreeing he deserves it. And while Greta disapproves, it’s honestly more because she doesn’t want Gilda endangering herself by marching into the storm than any matter of morality. Still, she knows she can’t stop Gilda, so she instead settles for advising her to temper her temper, supporting—albeit begrudgingly—Gilda’s choice.

And Gilda responds by both appreciating the support and agreeing to not give Gruff any more than a black eye. Heck, if Greta had pushed just a little more for her to not leave, Gilda would have listened and not gone. She’d have pouted, but she’d have agreed to leave Gruff alone and stay with Greta.

Good thing Gilda didn’t give Greta the chance to do that; otherwise, they wouldn’t have known about where the old fart went…

Again, it’s a little moment, but it’s always stuck out to me for how good a moment it is.

Unfortunately, with Gilda gone, there’s not much reason for Greta to be there, so she skips off to the kitchen to relinquish the spotlight to Gabby.

Another matter we needed to address was how everygriff else thought Gruff genuinely cared for Gallus. And since Gabby was the one who asked Gallus to return to Griffonstone in the first place, it was best to give the task to her.

Thus, the first thing she does is hug Gallus and apologize profusely for what happened to him, explaining how she thought Gruff loved him and lamenting how stupid she was to believe otherwise.

But we’ve had enough emotional drama for one scene, so even though he’s not remotely in the mood to play therapist, Gallus does exactly that, comforting Gabby and telling her to not tell herself what happened was her fault. He has plenty of experience doing that himself, and he doesn’t want Gabby to do the same. Plus? Gallus can’t ignore it anymore. Though he’d love nothing more than for Gruff to love and be proud of him, after what happened last scene, he can’t—he won’t—pretend Gruff does.

It’s why Gallus is so vehement about how it’s Gruff’s fault he’s hurting and that Gruff doesn’t and never will care about him. It’s not solely because he’s trying to convince Gabby to not blame herself for their fight, Gallus is also trying to hammer it into his own head that Gruff doesn’t care.

Gabby tries saying otherwise—Partly because she’s such an optimistic character that of course she’d try to still believe Gruff cared, but also partly to show Gabby was affected by Griffonstone’s previous toxicity in her own way by insisting Gallus is wrong to think his unhealthy relationship is unhealthy—but her efforts fall flat when the only proof Gruff cares about Gallus is he asks for updates about him.

But even if she had more concrete proof, Gallus wouldn’t care. As he says, he’s tired of caring. He’s known deep down that caring so much for somegriff who doesn’t reciprocate is only hurting him, and at long last Gallus is done pretending otherwise.

Nevertheless, Gallus is at least glad he got to see Griffonstone again and how much better it now is thanks to the Restoration Project. But…? It’s still not his home. And though Gabby halfheartedly suggests it could be, Gallus shuts that down immediately, stating there’s nothing for him here. And since I know full-well that’s not entirely true, I make sure to have Gallus gesture to Gavin’s room and Gabby, clarifying he meant nothing except his friends.

By now, Gabby knows not to push the issue, accepting—however reluctantly—that Gallus genuinely doesn’t and never will consider Griffonstone his home, unlike her and the others. But she still laments what could have been, wondering if Gallus could have thought Griffonstone a home.

But the answer is ultimately no. At least Gallus compliments her optimism, and she certainly appreciates it, taking it and the knowledge she’s still a Cutie Mark Crusader as reasons to bounce back from her brief bit of sorrow and guilt and re-focus on how they still have the rest of the Blue Moon Festival to celebrate and hopefully make up for the Gruff situation.

Well? They would be able to do that, if not for the fact Gruff screwed with Gallus. And as he promised Silverstream and Smolder, the moment Griffonstone or Gruff tried screwing with him, Gallus would leave immediately. He made that promise, and he’s sticking to it, much to Gabby’s despair. And though Gallus feels guilty for disappointing her, he stops himself from apologizing, recognizing he has nothing to apologize for—something Greta reinforces when she reenters the scene.

Unfortunately, Gruff waited just long enough to hurt Gallus that he stayed in Griffonstone and missed the Monday train All Aboard informed him about. And though All Aboard swore otherwise, the plot blizzard did indeed derail the train schedule, meaning Gallus has to wait even longer.

But with the blizzard being brought up, it’s time to spend the next minute or so going, “Golly gee-wilikers! That blizzard sure is awful and deadly; it sure is a good thing no one—absolutely no one!—is stuck out there in the snow; otherwise they’d, like, totally freeze to death and stuff! Yeppers! Absolutely no one is stuck in the awful, awful blizzard! Eeyup! No one at all…”

Anyway, Gilda comes back and reveals Gruff is stuck in the blizzard.

And I know I wasn’t at all subtle about this fact, but I do legitimately want to know: Who among you realized where Gruff was as soon as I started heavily emphasizing the blizzard’s danger?

And while everygriff is shocked by this revelation, their full reactions are postponed for later.Why? Because I’m an evil, little monster, and I couldn’t resist leaving you guys on the cliffhanger of Gruff being lost in the blizzard so we can see what Silver and Smolder are up to. We were going to see the girls’ scene after Gallus fled Gruff’s home, but I figured it’d be better if it were placed between these two scenes instead. More suspenseful that way.

---

~ All I Want for Hearth’s Warming Is My Two Best Gals~

What better way to open the scene than by playing off the cliffhanger via Smolder saying “No way!” as if in response to Gilda revealing Gruff was gone?

In all seriousness, this scene was added due to how underwhelming the Smolder subplot would have felt without it, but it couldn’t just be about that. So I opted to follow up on another lingering plot thread: Silver reading Gallus’ date schedule.

In the original draft, I never clarified whether or not she did but still had the girls discuss the date, so it came across as though Silver had simultaneously read and not read the schedule. I didn’t realize this until I wrote the scene next chapter where she and Gallus work on the schedule together; only then did I come back to properly confirm Silver did indeed read it while he was gone.

The baking aspect was merely an excuse to have the girls be together, hence why we tune in at the very end of their fun in the kitchen. Nevertheless, I still took time to showcase them sliding the brownies in, Smolder leaning against the counter, and Silverstream washing her talons.

I do so love the little details, no matter their importance to the plot. Speaking of love, the date conversation!

I opted to write Smolder’s preferences to be the stereotypically romantic ones. I.E. Candlelit dinners, Ferris Wheel rides, etc.Why? To contrast both Silverstream’s preferences and Smolder herself. You’d think her preferences would be more rooted in dragon culture and their competitive nature, but nah. I figured it’d be funnier if Smolder were into that generic Romance movie date schlock, especially given how much she despises the genre.

Although, I did consider that point about her dragon heritage influencing her dating preferences, hence why she only likes fancy, expensive dinners because she considers being taken out to one is a great way to gauge whether the other is actually interested in her—a sentiment she shares with Scoop. I also made sure to note how she’d love to watch a Sci-Fi movie with her partner.

As for Silverstream’s interests—Bowling, the aquarium, and art galleries? All established in prior chapters; thus, they had to make a comeback here, even if I would have liked to sneak in at least one brand new preference as well.

I have no idea what made me reference Thunderlane and Rumble in relation to the bowling part. I know something I saw or read inspired me to reference them, but I legitimately can’t remember if it was something I read on the MLP Wiki, or another fanfiction. Ah well.

Now, about this line from Silverstream:

“I enjoy a formal dinner every now and then, but all the time? Nah.”

I was tempted to say—probably via internal dialogue—another reason she’s not too keen on formal dinners is that, thanks to her status as a noble, she’s had that kind of dinner so often she’s completely desensitized to it. On one hand, that would help foreshadow her nobility-related feelings later in the Mount Aris arc, but on the other, it’d somewhat invalidate the next part of the line:

“Love isn’t something you can buy with restaurants, roses, and candles.”

While that part was inspired by my own personal view of real life romance, it’s included predominantly to help characterize Silverstream, showing she doesn’t view love as so superficial it can be “bought” in any sense. Shows she has a good, wise sense of what love and companionship are which only further reaffirms her love for Gallus is genuine.

It also may or may not be a nod to all that relationship advice Cadence gave the two of them, but I’ll leave it to your interpretation if “Love can’t be bought” was something she deliberately told them or something Silver simply came to believe of her own accord.

We’ve discussed the aquarium preference previously.

And as for why Smolder brought up thalassophobia? Well, that’s partly so she’d have a response to Silverstream’s rhetorical question, but it’s also because I had read the fanfic, Thalassophobia, around the time I was writing this chapter.

Yep. An entire fanfic inspired the use of a single word in this story. Now that’s the power of good writing for ya.

Regarding the Ferris Wheel, Smolder’s description of it being a glorified elevator is merely a joke, made truly glorious by her revealing she loves scoring some privates snuggles on one—Something Silverstream absolutely adores learning and Smolder makes her swear not to reveal, even if she totally does later.

A part of me regrets not having Silver react more to learning Smolder is a snuggler—a revelation like that would be huge news to the hippogriff—but it wasn’t something which warranted extra attention, especially since it would have dragged the scene out. Still though, I will say Silver was much more elated to learn her best friend was a snuggler than was shown.

Next, we callback to Silver Frames’ Art Gallery and how Silverstream and co. are still banned from it, but we at least get the possible silver lining Silver will soon crack and call upon the fiery wrath of her Auntie Novo to… “Rectify” …the situation.

I’ll leave you to imagine the state Novo left those ponies in when Silver finally called in that favor.

We thankfully still have Spearhead’s Gallery! And we’re lucky we do because I initially forgot he existed and planned to either scrap the art gallery visit entirely—Which, no. Gallus would obviously include an art gallery in the 2^nd Date somehow—or create a nameless, generic one for the purposes of the story. I’m happy to have avoided both those scenarios by remembering Spearhead existed.

But date conversations aren’t the main reason this scene exists; it’s so Silver and Smolder can have a chance to properly make amends. And to start leaning us back into that subject, Silverstream suggests Smolder visit an art gallery with her later.

Smolder protests, claiming she isn’t much of an artisan, and Silver counters with a reminder Smolder left her Tree of Harmony statue down in its old cavern, calling back to the painting Silver had left down there as well.

I think how I had written Gallus throughout the story bled into how I wrote Smolder here—What with her being so self-conscious of her sculpting skills and doubtful her creation was even remotely good. At the time, I figured Smolder would be pretty self-conscious about it—like how she is about her love of dresses and tea parties—but I might have overdone it. Sure, Smolder would have been self-conscious, but she certainly would have been proud of it nonetheless. As it is now, Smolder sounds a touch too much like how Gallus sounded in Ch.2(Reprieve) regarding his own painting.

Moving on, Silverstream drops this line:

“There are a lot of wonderful things in our world, and I love learning about ’em.”

Yet another example of a retroactive edit; I had written Gallus praising her for loving learning about the world during their 2^nd Date, then came back and added this line here to help establish it. As for the concept of Silverstream having such a love for life in general? Once again, we’ve Silverquill to thank for that; in his video, Griffs Galore, he had this to say about Silverstream:

“She seems the most eager of all the Students to embrace the world around her. After so much time in isolation, she’s thrilled at everything and greets it with an openness one can’t help but admire.”

And I wanted to incorporate that observation into her character. By the time I watched that video, however, I was quite a ways into writing T.B.O.L., so I didn’t get too many opportunities to actually incorporate it, hence why you see the fact Silver loves learning about the world being told more often than shown. Nevertheless, it’s still something I’m glad I did for Silverstream; she needed an extra dose of world-loving cheeriness to balance all the paranoia drama.

Plus, acknowledging her love of life and the world helps move the conversation along by explaining why she doesn’t find overly long documentaries the least bit boring, even if she does agree with Smolder that the narrators always sound dead inside like pompous windbags.

Speaking of Smolder, she can’t help but express her love of Sci-Fi again by referencing Star Wars, Doctor Who, and Infinity Train. And Silverstream, oddly enough, was not going to immediately admit they all sound cool; rather, she was going to ask if the “Dimension-hopping therapy train” was a real thing. Why? So I could have Smolder wax poetic about how great Infinity Train is. I mean, it is great, but this wasn’t the place to use Smolder as a #RenewInfinityTrain soapbox, so I tossed that out and just had Smolder suggest having more movie nights with the others.

This was my last chance to do, well, anything with the movie night idea which is another reason it got re-used here—still wish I had shown the Student Six having one more movie night before the story ended—and what’s more, I also took the chance to reference Cadence’s movie list. What? Did you think I forgot about that thing? … Well, actually? Yeah, I did, but then remembered it later and retroactively added it to this scene, establishing Smolder already had the list, courtesy of Shimmy.

But enough of the fun, slice-of-life banter, it’s time for that sweet, sweet, emotional drama! And so Smolder asks the innocent question of what movies Gallus likes, and Silverstream immediately seizes up, knowing Smolder isn’t gonna like the answer.

And no, she doesn’t. But she’s had enough time and counseling to not freak out too badly beyond clenching the kitchen counter—noticeably not cracking it this time—and choking out a half-calm, “That’s…random.”

Sandbar gets thrown under the bus as the one to get Gallus into that genre, and we even get another callback to Gallus-Stream asking Ocellus for a good movie watch list. N-No, I did not forget about that too and sneak it in here when I remembered! Absolutely not, what do you take me for?.

Silver, meanwhile, tries covering for her sweetie and comforting her friend by admitting she liked some of the movies in question too despite the subject material before revealing Gallus has quite the fancy for historical documentaries too.

Regarding the archaeology videos Silver got for Gallus, my memory is really screwy, so I can’t quite remember what exactly happened, but either:

#1) I had originally meant the videos to be Silver’s Hearth’s Warming Gift for Gallus, but I mistakenly mentioned her giving them to him in this scene and thus before Hearth’s Warming. And rather than fix it, I just had Silver get him something different at the end of the chapter.

#2) I wanted to show Silverstream had been giving Gallus the occasional gift too, to show their relationship wasn’t in any way one-sided. For every pseudo-date he took her on, she repaid him with some kind of romantic token or gesture, even if we didn’t see many of them.

Or #3) Something regarding Ponyville Antiques. Not sure what, but something involving it. Though regarding this point, I will say Ponyville Antiques is where Silverstream found the archaeology tapes. Why they were there, I couldn’t tell you; it’s a plot-hole mystery…

Also, regarding this line:

“I swear, he reminds me of Ocellus so much sometimes,” Silver sighed dreamily.

Was meant to foreshadow how Silverstream finds Gallus’ nerdiness attractive, but the way I wrote it…? Oof, it almost sounds like Silver’s sighing dreamily because Gallus is like Ocellus.

I think I recognized that too; thus, Smolder immediately shuts that notion down by revealing what Ocellus really does when watching documentaries.

Afterward, Smolder bites the bullet and asks if Gallus is still considering the Royal Guard. Which, of course, he is. I’m still adhering to canon, after all, but even if I weren’t?

Even if Gallus knows Smolder hates the idea of him joining and possibly getting hurt, it’s still his future and his choice. And thanks to her own character development, Smolder now realizes and accepts this as well, and though she certainly wouldn’t be happy about Gallus joining and is still terrified of what could happen…? Like Silver told her back in Ch.6(Stagnation), Smolder isn’t about to let her paranoia overshadow her love. Not again…

And since I was determined to actually have Silver apologize to Smolder this time, I have her do exactly that; though I make sure to laugh at myself for doing so by giving Silver this line:

This isn’t exactly a good time to apologize. But I’m not exactly going to get any better opportunities to make amends, so…? Here we go.

Regardless, everything turns out far better than Silver expected it would, thanks in no small part to Smolder now understanding how wrong she was acting during that fiasco as well and taking full responsibility for it.

Speaking of responsibility, Silver’s lines:

“I-I could have stayed and helped to make you feel better.”

“I didn’t have to listen; I could have stayed and helped you. I-I mean, I helped Gallus. I should have tried to help you too.”

Are yet more foreshadowing to her and Gruff’s conversation next chapter.

But I knew full-well there wouldn’t be much point to dragging out the apology scene past this point. They both understood they didn’t handle the situation well, they both apologized for what they did wrong—or in Silver’s case, what she thought she did wrong—they both accepted each other’s apology, and they end it with a hug.

Their friendship wasn’t dependent on the apology; there were no plot-related stakes to this entire scenario to begin with. But nevertheless, it was a great character moment for both of them, and I did truly want to give Smolder some extra time to showcase her development post-Ch.9(Fear).

Overall, I’m glad I convinced myself to add this subplot between the girls, even if it came at the cost of another chapter split; it was well worth it. And with their subplot finally resolved and amends between them made, it was time to return to the main plot which the girls lead us into by proclaiming Gallus is having a grand, ole time in Griffonstone.

Needless to say, he isn’t. But that's a discussion for next week because this chapter's commentary ran far too long for just one Blog Post.

Obligatory Google Doc Link.

Comments

[Summer Script]

~ Additional Tidbits ~

— 1) For a while, I considered writing the lines in Ocean’s letters that were scratched out and just strikethrough-ing them. Then I realized, it wouldn’t make much sense for you, the audience, to know what exactly Ocean said but for Silver to only make out a word or two.

Plus, I didn’t think Ocean would cross out a line like, “Even if those Princesses couldn’t stop one deranged filly and her cohorts from nearly unleashing the windigoes and dooming us all” with only a single, little line rather than a whole series of scratches. Thus, you didn’t get to see the lines Ocean wrote, but Silver could at least make out enough that you’d get the general gist.

— 2) Silverstream clutches Horton because it’s been far too long since that bundle of fluff was last utilized. Those poor Stripes twins though… They didn’t get anything, and I did have her consider hugging one of the Stripes or all three of the animals, but figured Horton was the only one necessary for the scene.

— 3) Silver’s first instinct being to ask if Gallus was okay was another hint Silver wasn’t nearly as optimistic as she thought/said she was, further validating the 2^nd Date situation. The same goes for Silver ending the scene hoping Gallus is still okay and wishing for him to come home soon.

— 4) I really hate this part of Silver’s line:

—Starlight probably just wants to give me another counseling session, she dreaded, nowhere near up for that. Oh joy.

It almost feels OOC. It’s clearly Silver trying to calm herself down by theorizing why Starlight wants to see her as well as a hint Silver’s tired of having to always talk to Starlight about her problems, and yeah, it’s a pretty small gripe, but still…? It’s not the best way I could have handled this segment, and it’s always stuck out to me for being as such.

— 5) Gallus teasing Griselda about her “Finally admitting he was better than her at something” was another nod to what their relationship was like before he left for Griffonstone. And given her subsequent reaction was to claim she most certainly was better than him at acting(Even if she totally isn’t)…? Well? Let’s just say Gallus has a competitive streak for a reason.

Similarly, Griselda’s specific word choice in this line:

You really were a nerd all along, huh, Gallus?”

Is yet more evidence Gallus’ nerdy side has always been a thing; he just hid it since even as far back as his time in Griffonstone. Despite this, Gallus has had plenty of character development, so rather than hide it again, he takes pride in being toted as a nerd, shutting Griselda’s teasing down while validating Gavin’s own nerd-hood.

— 6) When Gavin asks how many books were in the Library of Magic, I legitimately looked up how many books are usually contained in a library for a proper answer. So, uh? I didn’t get a proper answer from that search, so I simply said there were five million books there. So yeah, there’s the backstory for why the Library of Magic has so many books. But hey! At least Gavin’s question let me jokingly callback to how Shimmy and End Zone were bored to sleep when the Club visited it!

— 7) When Gavin calls out Griselda for using a tier-two swear(And yes, Shrinky Frod was correct that “peck” wasn’t a tier-two swear), he was going to say Griselda would need to put some Bits into a swear jar the other girls had established. I then realized there was no chance in Tartarus Gilda would enforce that, so I instead had Gavin say he’d report it to Gabby—the only one who would care about that.

— 8) Regarding Gallus’ internal dialogue segment in the library, I want to point out how it starts with the “Stupid, stupid, stupid!” line. If you recall, that was the exact same thing he spouted back in Ch.1(Transition) after fleeing Smolder and Ocellus when he was banging his head against a wall.

In fact, if he were alone at this particular moment, he’d have likely begun banging his head against something again. I was even going to imply as such but figured it was too much and opted to simply add the phrase “wishing he were alone to say as such aloud” after the “Stupid, stupid, stupid!” part.

— 9) You know how Gavin argues how he and Gallus were perfectly fine exploring Griffonstone for the past few days in spite of the snowstorm? Well, he argues that because I realized with the whole “Three days down” I established in Silverstream’s scene, that meant Gavin did indeed show Gallus around for those past three days despite the blizzard. Thus, I had Gavin argue as such in a desperate bid to keep exploring with Gallus.

But plot had to happen, so Gallus counterargued that the blizzard was even worse and they were “Lucky to even find the library.” Fine for me since it afforded me another chance to hammer in how bad said blizzard was which made it even worse when Gruff got stuck in it.

— 10) Though Gallus suspects otherwise, Gruff’s line:

”Not like you even know what love is!”

Was not a dig at Gallus’ parents, merely his youth-induced inexperience with romance.

— 11) Regarding this particular sequence:

She was there. … You. Weren’t,” he snarled, feeling a twisted sense of satisfaction when he noticed Gruff swallow nervously.

“S-So?”

Gallus nearly fainted; whether in sheer rage or overwhelming sorrow, he wasn’t certain.

Firstly, Gruff’s little nervous swallow was absolutely because he knew full-well he hurt Gallus by not showing up.

Secondly, his response of “S-So?” is to indirectly show he knows he hurt Gallus but is trying to act indifferent about it to not accept culpability, yet the stutter makes it clear he isn’t exactly succeeding.

And lastly, Gallus has such an outraged reaction because it’s such a simple, cold response. If he were thinking clearly here, he might have picked up on the stutter as well and realized Gruff was deflecting. Unfortunately, Gallus wasn’t thinking clearly and so latched onto the feigned indifference of the response, using it as further proof Gruff didn’t care one iota about him.

— 12)

You’re doing it again, Gallus! Gruff isn’t Sandbar or Yona; he’s not gonna just sit there and let you ramble at him like an idiot!

There I go again, making fun of myself. This time about how I had Gallus arbitrarily break out into a rant about his feelings in the presence of Sandbar in Ch.5(Normality) and Yona in Ch.6(Stagnation).

— 13) For this line:

Gabby lifted her gaze from the floor and opened her beak to say something. Unfortunately, she simply hung her head once again, leaving the silence undisturbed.

Gabby was going to have a line, but since I couldn’t think of what she could say, I had that be the case in-universe with her not having a clue what to say either.

— 14) Greta’s line:

“Stop smiling! You know you can’t do that.”

Was going to have a dialogue tag—Perhaps something along the lines of: “Greta snapped, giving the lightly giggling Gilda a light smack with her wing.” But after some thought, I decided against the idea, not wanting Greta to hit Gilda in any way, even if it were merely a playful nudge Gilda didn’t think twice about.

A major theme of the Griffonstone arc was toxic/abusive relationships, and I adamantly refused to even hint, accidentally or otherwise, that Gilda and Greta’s relationship was one.

— 15) I couldn’t resist poking fun at Gallus’ vow he’d rather hitchhike back home through the blizzard than stay in Griffonstone any longer than necessary via Greta acknowledging they wouldn’t let him do that and Gabby believing Gallus would never consider doing such a thing. Though his silence when she asks about that should be rather telling…

— 16)

“Gilda!?” Greta began, rushing over and helping Gilda stand. “What happened?”

Though I may have written Gilda and Greta’s relationship to be ambiguous, I couldn’t help but point out how adorable this moment is where Greta immediately rushes to Gilda’s side after she returns from the blizzard.

— 17)

C’mon, Silver, think! she fretted. How can you get Smolder’s mind off of the Guard thing?

Originally, Silverstream was going to flashback to some conversation with Starlight or Yona, or else go on an internal dialogue tangent like Gallus so often did in the earlier chapters. I then realized how badly that would bloat the word count and threw the idea out, settling for Silver simply concluding she needed to be there for Smolder.

— 18) I was tempted to end the scene between Smolder and Silverstream with Starlight coming in at the last minute to check on how they were doing, but I decided not to do that, lest I drag the scene out even further. I instead settled for Smolder and Silver joking about how their Headmare’s plan worked.

19) The line:

“No news isn’t exactly good news, you know.”

Is there specifically because I hate the saying “No news is good news” because I’ve never found it the least bit comforting regarding anything at all, and I wanted to mock it by pointing that out.

— 20) I have Silver be the first to suggest everything is okay and that Gallus is having fun in Griffonstone to help show her development concerning her paranoia. That even though, deep down, she is still scared for Gallus’ well-being, she truly is optimistic everything is okay regardless and says as such.

Probably hurt to learn she had been dead wrong the entire time…