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For as long as she can remember, Applejack has been deathly afraid of deep water.
Rarity wants to know why.
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Inspired by my very own personal fear.
Written for the Halloween in April Horror Contest with the Barcast.
Spectacular reading by ThelifeonCloud9
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Well done! That was by turns creepy, terrifying and horrible!
I have a fear of deep water as well, but if I ever saw something like that, I wouldn't go near a dark swimming pool.
You managed to make a truly terrifying tale without the Mature rating.
VERY impressed!
Added to Tag-A-Long's Book Club, Brony Horror, The Goodfic Bin and Twilight's Library
Poor, poor Rarity.
I'd beg Applejack to tell the others, if only so that Rarity's end isn't forever unknown, her death in vain.
While I myself don't have much fear of bodies of water, when I was younger, I did have a near-drowning experience when the riverbed I was walking on suddenly disappeared from under me. Let me tell you, even if you know how to swim, it's no good if you panic. You must never panic.
10162298
Same. And I live within walking distance of the suwannee river.
Your writing was wonderful and the character dialogue was perfect. I greatly enjoyed this story. Good luck with the contest.
The characterization here bugged me a lot. What first set me off was Rarity's insistence that there wasn't anything in the pond, it was just Applejack's imagination. If this were a story set in the real world, sure, I could see someone thinking that. But this is happening in Equestria, where both these ponies have personally seen a variety of freaky and/or magical wildlife. Applejack's assertion that there's something in the lake is totally plausible--so Rarity's insistence on testing it felt phenomenally stupid of her, and it sucked me right out of the story.
Then Applejack doesn't do anything about it, which... might be even worse? This, again, might be more excusable in different contexts, but my impression is that this is meant to be set post-season six, by the reference to Pony Point of View. So this is an Applejack who's friends with princesses, who's had to deal with Discord and Tirek and the like--even putting all the high-level magic aside, these are ponies who felt comfortable going up a mountain to confront a dragon. A monster living in a lake that can swallow a pony whole doesn't feel like it's done nearly enough to feel like an insurmountable danger, so it comes across as incredibly irresponsible that Applejack's not doing more about it.
Hey there! Looking forward to reading this!
10162743
Rarity's actions are simple hubris. I didn't want to spell it out, but I imagine that by the end of FiM some of the Mane 6 are so desensitized by huge world ending threats that the idea of something that may or may not dwell in a small pond being dangerous strikes them as laughable.
As to Applejack, a fear borne of such a traumatic event so early in life can be crippling, even after facing what could be seen as greater threats. Speaking from personal experience, as I'm thirty years old and still harbor an irrational fear of the dark because of a nightmare I had when I was five.
10162880
Same. Snakes. I remember a time of thinking they were awesome and then had a rattle snake strike at me. Saw its open mouth coming straight at me and that was the end of sanity for me when it comes to snakes.
It's funny how trauma in childhood does that. I drowned once as a child and had to be resuscitated. Im not afraid of the water though.
Just snakes.
10162880
I agree, it's hubris. I'm saying it's a ridiculous degree of hubris. The desensitization angle, sure, I can see that to a degree. But there's a difference between being, like, "oh, bother, there's another changeling invasion, no problem, let's go stop it," and being, like, "sure, Chrysalis, I'll stick my head in your mouth," y'know? One is, at worst, an overestimation of your ability--it's downplaying a problem. The other is just straight-up pretending a problem doesn't exist. Rarity's actions here fall firmly into the latter category, as far as I'm concerned.
I agree, totally. And as an argument for why Applejack personally cannot do anything to resolve the situation, I agree--I'm not saying she should, like, dive into the pond, find the thing and kick it. If she got over her fear to that degree, that'd be ridiculous.
But I don't think you can say that she's incapable of getting help. We see in this story that she relays the traumatic event in question to Rarity--why shouldn't she, at the end, be capable of going and doing that exact thing to some pony who doesn't have the same crippling fear of water so they can try and work out a solution? She's at a disadvantage here, sure, but the ending of the story makes it out like she's completely powerless, and I don't buy that.
10162743
I have to agree. These problems could be mitigated by the use of OCs rather than established, main characters, I feel.
How does this have an E rating? Is this allowed??
Why didn't AJ go to the princesses? They could have solved it.
Got the shivers reading this, as I have Thalassophobia as well. Tho for me it’s less a fear of deep water and more the fear of what lurks within it. But it still has to do with not being able to see it.
Anyway, good story!
Oof... that was vivid.
Nothing else chills quite like those suppressed childhood fears that turn out to be all too real.
Featured tale in October for The Goodfic Bin
This was awsome to see on the life of cloud nine channel!
Spoiler;
I can’t help but wonder if there’s some deeper subtext to this story. Particulary at the word, yellow. Sure it’s used to symbolize death, but there’s also a way to use it to call someone a coward. Are you yellow? Your boy yellow? So a part of me is wondering if, maybe, Applejack, in a rage of furry, drowned that unnamed filly and rarity for calling her yellow/scared of the water, and to cope she tries to hide what happened/suppress her menmories
10485265
I love this comment, :D
10519020
Owo
Yay 😀
And who knows, maybe one day I’ll write a story myself one day that would be more than vaguely recommended in your reviews too ^^’
One can dream :3
*although legit thanks, was something on my mind I’m surprised no one else thought about
Why didn’t Applejack run to Twilight or the Princesses for help?
10599941
Fear. A deep seated, irrational, bone deep fear.
"Wow, you think something dangerous and scary could be hiding in the water of this pond deep within the most dangerous and scary place we know of that does, in fact, contain dangerous and scary beings? Now that's just silly!"
Honestly this story made me laugh and came across more as a parody than something actually scary. As another comment mentioned, you really would have been better off using OCs at a lake that isn't in the Everfree. As it stands the premise is so absurd to me that I just can't take it seriously.
Me and this author have something in common. When I was a kid, I was afraid of deep water and drowning in it. But eventually as I got older that fear faded.
Im amazed horrors likes these have yet to be restored by Celestia of course such monsters learn to hide.
Does it really count as a phobia if the thing you're afraid of actually does have monsters lurking in it? Because it seems perfectly rational to fear deep water in a world where giant lurking monsters are a thing.
Now you see, this is why you toss coins to your witcher.
Yeah, this story sums up the fears brought to the fore by my own thalassophobia. Well done.
11204448
Equestria could use some Witchers, that's for sure... (Though, their biggest problem would probably be Fluttershy, lol). As for the story here, I mean, Rarity sadly wasn't all too bright in this instance, Equestria has plenty of bizarre and unknown creatures, and when Applejack clearly said she saw something, Rarity brushed it off. If I had a friend with Applejack's fear, I would have at least considered what she was saying, as it wouldn't have been out of the ordinary as far as Equestria goes, let alone start the process of getting over her fears right away in the place they started, but by small steps.
SCP 682's resting and hiding place.