Well, this caught me by surprise... · 9:31pm Mar 27th, 2023
It is time for a Chris Chan update, as something quite surprising has happened: it appears that Chris is no longer behind bars!
According to the CWCki, Chris' case record on VineLink has been updated with a new mugshot (in which Chris looks even more of a mess than he did back in May 2022), and is described as 'out of custody' due to being 'released by court order'.
This does not necessarily mean Chris is a free man, however. The current suspicion is that he is out on bond and being moved to a halfway house or something similar. His charges, as far as I can tell, have not been dismissed, but it's possible the plan is to move him into assisted living for people with disabilities. (I hope the case worker that's assigned to him get a raise if that's the case.)
I'll try to keep you guys updated, but that's all for now. See ya!
Well he has been in jail for two years now which would have been the same had he been found guilty.
Edit: I don't think is a threat to the greater community. He is a dievent but a cowardly dievent.
5720089
5720090
Very true on both counts.
5720090
Wouldn't say cowardly, but I do agree they aren't dangerous, just an annoying anomaly of a person.
5720101
Wellsaid.
5720102
5720101
I do believe Chris would try to sexually assaulting someone but him being such a coward he wouldn't dare try it unless he could get away with it 100% and that is the only reason why he isn't a threat.
5720103
He is very weak, apparently, and as such would struggle to overpower most people.
There's a special place in heaven for whoever sticks with Chris' case. I'm a few more chapters deep on Empress Theresa, by the way. I swear, it's making something evil boil inside me
5720124
Can I PM you about that?
5720125
That you can, sir.
I have no idea how to feel about this, but I can only hope he will get the help he needs badly. And I hope by Will of the Force he does not find a way to get himself in Everfree Northwest this year.
5720150
EFNW has permanently banned her as I am sure all cons will do should she ever get the chance to go to one. He just attracts to much weirdness.
5720154
I know that but knowing his persistence, he'll try to find a way to get to it. Ban or no ban. Because most people will try anything crazy these days.
5720156
Let him. They will just throw his ass out if he tries or call the cops if he becomes persistent. Though it might be interesting if he tries the hedgehog defense at EFNW.
5720141
Cheers.
5720156
Doesn't EFNW have security these days? I suspect if he does try something security will taser his ass to kingdom come. Or, as 5720157 suggests he may try this:
sonichu.com/w/images/thumb/5/5c/CWC_kicked_out_of_Too_Many_Games.jpg/505px-CWC_kicked_out_of_Too_Many_Games.jpg
To try and prevent security from removing him, Chris basically threw a tantrum. If this isn't evidence he has the mind of a child, I don't know what is.
5720163
Well it does. Royal guards. But I never seen any armed with tazers before.
Chris is definitely a literal manchild.
But regardless I don't want to cross paths with him.
5720164
Be on your guard nontheless. Having said that, I don't think he has any way of getting to EFNW. He has no income streams so cannot raise money to buy a plane ticket, and his mother totalled the family car back in November 2021, so he won't be driving there either.
I need to warn my grandma.
5720172
Good idea.
5720167
Either way, I will be on complete guard.
5720188
Good idea.
5720172
The dreaded wandering elder rapist of West Virginia' saga has begun. People of West Virginia will tell tales of their grandmas suddenly disappearing and a wandering "sasquatch" that mumbles to himself about My Little Pony.
5720206
Particularly rambling about G5.
5720213
THE MERGE! THE MERGE!
5720215
It's done, last we heard. We're just waiting on the Collective Shift and the Second Coming now.
5720234
I can't wait for the day I wake up to find that Twilight Sparkle is now my neighbor.
5720277
Chris commented that we will all merge with our OCs. Quite apart from the fact he uses the word 'OC' incorrectly (he historically claimed that Jesus was an OC. OC is short for 'original character', as in fiction, whereas Jesus was a historical figure whose existance can be empirically verified), the idea of forcibly merging with a fictional character is horrifying to imagine. And what if somebody has created multiple OCs? Would they merge with them all?
Chris Chan's posts on the Merge are, if nothing else, a fascinating study into the abuse of the English language (furthering my thesis that Chris partly learned how to speak English from watching TV based on his misuse of common idioms).
5720206
Therapist: Chris Chan waifu is not real, she can't hurt you.
Chris Chan waifu:
i.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/newsfeed/002/507/019/e64
(art by Khyleri, who's also a peculiar individual).
5720354
I am afraid to ask what those stains on her pants is.
5720354
5720355
The same sorts of stains can be seen in photos of Chris' 18th birthday party. Precisely what they are is a topic of much debate amongst Christorians.
5720355
5720364
He may be a sloppy wanker (guess they consider it the most obvious answer?)
5720428
That's a common explanation. Another suggestion is that the stain is glue from a crafting session.