Well Then... · 6:44am Feb 28th, 2023
I guess my previous promise of coming back was not when I thought it was. About two years and some change, just about? I'm wondering myself when I'll become consistent in my bullshit...
A bit of an update into the ongoings of my life for those that still somehow get these, and those that care. I had a good excuse reason for why I had disappeared. First and foremost, family matters: Everyone's gone. Or rather, everyone that I still had the heart to care for is gone. When that happened, I didn't really register it at first, and I just went home after settling everything I needed to there.
Then I sorta just... fell into a habit, one of pure autonomy. Get up, go to work, get home, sleep. No games, no videos on YouTube, no books or fanfictions, barely ever looked at my phone, beyond those oh so swell scam calls we all get. Next thing I knew, six months had passed, and I was no closer to finding any sort of closure, just going through the motions of daily life. It was a sort of monotony that seemed to be all encompassing and consuming.
I started pulling myself together in 2022. Got back to doing things normally, started enjoying life the way I want to enjoy it, even if it's not to the fullest. Explored a bit in my music tastes, expanded my horizons in genres of stories that I read, played some new games, tried some new foods. Life seemed to be going good...
until it wasn't.
My computer decided that it was time for it to sing its final song. I started having issues on startup with it shutting down suddenly and without warning. I thought that it may have gotten an electrical short at some point, so I got a new PSU and a CMOS battery for the motherboard. Replaced them, still had the issues. Then, one day, it said that it couldn't find a proper boot device, which I took as an indication that maybe the problem was with my HDD, despite it being still fairly new. I found out that one of the cords had been damaged, probably when moving, so I ordered a replacement. No dice.
So, with my, admittedly limited, knowledge of electronics and dashed hopes for a simple solutions, I took it to the professionals.
They ran all sorts of tests on it. Said that there was no issues with the hardware, as far as they could tell. However, every time they tried to install Windows on it, the computer crashed and shut itself down, without fail.
In the end, they chalked it up to an issue with the motherboard, and I was left with a broken computer and a great deal of annoyance.
I mean, I will admit that it was an old computer. I built it back in 2015 on parts that were all on sale, and did my best to take care of it. At the time, it was close to being top of the line. But, like all things, it withered away, eroded by the passages of time. I had a feeling that it might happen, but the point in time that it did decide to strike with a critical failure was enough to dash my good year.
I rambled, didn't I?
Well, to cut to the point, I lost all of the data that was on that old computer. I had several updated chapters for all of my current stories on here, and on several other websites that I won't bother to list since I'm about as active on there as I am here. I had about twenty or thirty fanfictions that I had yet to post on any website, as I was still tweaking parts of the storyline and ironing out details on what I was going to be doing for those fanfictions, and I even had three stories that were my original works that I was going to attempt to publish.
I had hopes of being an aspiring writer, and I still do, but with this rather significant loss in data which may not be ever retrievable (but I will still attempt to recover), those were hampered upon the rocks of reality.
It really does leave a bitter taste in the mouth. I had several 'special holiday' chapters that I had planned for Ex Omnium Sententia that would've been my attempt to flesh out parts of the story that I really did leave out when I had first written this in high school. I had about five or so fanfictions for MLP that I had on my computer that I might've even posted here, given some time and effort to polish up the stories. I had fanfictions of stories that I had been revising and re-revising since I had written them in high school, and had probably close to a million words each under their belts. Some that I were a bit embarrassed to have written, to be honest, but everyone's got a few of those hidden around, locked away in a password protected zip folder that's hiding in an obscure spot in the directory that no normal person would ever look.
Rambling, again?
So, what's my plans for the future (that cold, distant future)? Despite all of the data loss, I stand resolute in my ways. I want to keep writing, and I want to keep expanding my skills in writing, and to finally complete a compelling story that isn't generic and bland. A tall order, especially nowadays, I know; but even when I'm lying in bed, trying to fall asleep, ideas (like this update) keep springing into my head, and I can't help but write it all down.
I don't know what will come first: Me writing in a Google document on my phone, which I'm discovering that I absolutely abhor doing, or saving up enough money to pay for a brand new tower, and to go and find someone that might be able to scavenge the data on my old HDD that may or may not be salvageable. It may be another six months, maybe another year, or maybe even longer before I return again, but I plan on making my return once again. Worst case scenario, I revise and write my stories on my phone, and hope that it comes out at least halfway decently on the eyes of those that read on a desktop or tablet.
And for those fucks that can't be bothered to do a bit of reading:
TL;DR: Death in the family, hardware failure on the old dusty tower, but I stand resolute in my duty to come out on top.
I may not be back soon, but I will return. This I vow.
Good luck.