I love to steal. The thrill of the theft, the shivers that go down my spine when I pilfer someone's valuable or rare object... it's an adrenaline rush.

Back on Earth, my job was damn difficult. Laser tripwires, security cameras, alarm systems, and armed guards were just some of the things I had to deal with on an almost-daily basis if I wanted to make ends meet. Here in Equestria, though... it's almost as if they want me to steal from them. It's a cakewalk. Even with Fence taking a portion of the value when he sells my stolen goods, I'm still practically rolling in bits.

Surely nothing bad could come of this at all... right?

A slightly more realistic take on the "Human in Equestria" story concept.

... For a given value of "realistic."

Okay, it's barely realistic but it is a hell of a lot of fun...

Now with an image graciously provided by Page Turner, and an audiobook version narrated by multifanficaday and if you prefer it in German, FrankyDoodle has got you covered!

And a TVTropes Page!

Last Featured: 11/26/2019! Thank you so much!

Elijah was a normal boy, until he decided to eat rat poison. Then, he became a normal dead boy. Since Elijah didn't exactly lead the best life, he had a one way ticket to Hell. However, he is given a chance to redeem himself by being the Guardian Angel of nine lucky (or rather, unlucky) ponies.

King Arthur, a king among kings, one of the most well known figures of Earth's lore. Merlin the wizard, his close ally and friend. Thought to be mere legends to all, sheer happenstance proves to one individual that lore is often based on reality. These legends, and more, are proven true before his very eyes. His goal, however, is a simple one. Find a way back home.

Credits - A hearty thanks to PocoRitardo, who, although not a reader of HiEs, helped to refine many of the ideas contained within, as well as help me with some of the Arthurian Lore.

Note - Main 6 will be featured, however for the moment I chose Cadance and Shining Armor tags over them. They will play some role further down the line.

This is the prequel to My Little Pony: Blue Version

After agreeing to help Oak with his latest invention, Red gets sucked into Equestria and now he has to work out how to return home. And being mute isn't going to help.

For Derpy Hooves, it seems like every day gets worse than before. Her whole life she has been seen as nothing but a rolling disaster. She's seen as a clueless, quirky, messed up pony, simply due to her walleyed disability. How can she possibly hope to erase the stereotypes she was assigned? For Derpy, it's impossible.

Impossible, that is, until she chances into a certain purple unicorn. Will this meeting be yet another failure, or could it be the opportunity she's been looking for, and how could that opportunity affect her life?

I'd like to thank slip_stitch for being both an editor and a proofreader for me. Without her help, this story would literally be one giant punctuation error.
Also, thanks to Ardensfax for giving me the inspiration to try my hand at writing, Tobyc for putting a massive amount of work into a tvtropes page dedicated to the story, and Perilian for the massive amount of encouragement that kept me motivated enough to work my hardest at writing.

With a giant thanks to Kevinltk, Address Unknown is now available in both ePub and mobi formats! If you would like to download them, they are available here:

ePub - Teen (Clop Free)
mobi - Teen (Clop Free)

Cover art designed by Novel Idea

And, for everyone out there that enjoys Address Unknown, I have been honored to have a dramatic reading done by HanaYoriUta!

Here are the links, in 3 separate installments:
Chapters 1-15
Chapters 16-30
Clop Chapters

Now Rated Teen because I kind of kill them on a regular basis, but they're immortal so they get better.

The continuing story of those in Canterlot Castle and the surrounding areas. With four immature gods running about, is anybody going to survive? Probably. However, with each day, the madness in Equestria grows and sadly I don't think anyone actually cares anymore.

It's time for Equestria's Crazies; a tale of love, of tasers, comedy and finally me, tormenting as many ponies as possible before I get bored.

[Head's up, this story is an Episodic series. Each chapter is it's own contained "Story" but really it's just whatever I want to happen on that particular day.]

Every colt grows curious sooner or later about that one question: "Where do babies come from?" Simple question, simple answer. Though when your parent figures aren't the ones to take simple simply... And when your mom is a being that feeds off the core element of "where babies come from", the talks may go differently.

A companion piece to Know Your Mare.

[Featured on EqD and FiM Fiction] It is that time again, the dreaded flu season. Not even Princess Celestia, the ruler of the sun and day, is safe from it. When Celestia contracts the flu, what pony could possibly nurse Celestia back to health? Why none other than her dear, loving sister of course! Enter Nurse Luna!

Between crazed guards, a palace staff desperate to please their rulers, and a crazed unicorn running around, no pony is safe from this madness.

This is 100% Approved by Twilight's Library.

When the peace of the idyllic world of Cloudsdale is interrupted by rising crime, and a lonely office worker's best friend is mugged in the street, he finally decides that enough is enough. With nothing but his wits, a suitcase with personal effects, and years of experience in the accounting department of a large investment firm, he launches himself headfirst into the stupidest possible thing he could do - quitting his job, and waging war on the underworld.

Yeah. This is gonna work out just fine.