Episode 23: A Day in the life of Celestia
Celestia silently lay in her bed, wrapped in the warm embrace of both silk sheets and sleep itself. However, deep down inside her infinite being she knew something was coming. Something that threatened the survival of every creature in Equestria. Something that could reduce even a god cowardliness.
*Beep* *Beep* *Beep*
Celestia groaned as her eyes slowly began to open, unfortunately they never had the chance to fully open as Celestia drifted back into sleep.
*Beep* *Beep* *Beep*
This time the Sun Goddess found herself a little more alert, but still lacked any desire to leave her one true friend, her bed. With a fain groan she rolled over and placed one her pillows a top her head, in an effort to drown the noise out.
*Beep* *Beep* *Beep*
"Five more minutes" Celestia faintly commanded in hopes that the clock would accept her rights as creator of the universe and allow her just a few more minutes of sleep.
*Beep* *Beep* *Beep*
"Gah!" hissed the mare as she rolled back over, pillow still held to her ears. She couldn't see her target, but she knew where it waited. Without caution or care she began batting her hoof at the nightstand next to the bed. The sound of objects hitting the floor and being knocked about, filled the air as the Sun Goddess punished many of her belongings for the blasphemous crimes of her Alarm clock.
*Beep* *Beep* *Beep*
Celestia's blood shot eyes snapped open as she hurled the pillow across the room. Her hate filled gaze fixed on the clock as a white glow covered her horn, and with a single thought, the clock ceased to exist. Celestia gave a faint sigh of relief as she let her head fall back onto her pillow. Her eyes slowly beginning to shut as she drifted into sleep.
"Time to get up Celly!" Came the cheerful voice of Princess Luna as she opened the door to Celestia's chambers, unaware of the once slumbering beast that waited inside.
"Gaaaah!" Hissed the Sun Goddess as she attempted to vaporize her sister. Celestia once again let her head fall back onto her pillow as the sound of her sister's galloping faded away.
"It's going to be a long day" groaned the mare.
5 Minutes later
"I hate everything" Celestia groaned as she slid out of her bed. "I hate you floor" she growled as her head hit the floor. "I hate you sock" she hissed at the piece of clothing. "I especially hate you Sun" she growled once more as she slowly raised her ball and chain"
"Celly are you cursing everything in existence again?" Came the faint voice of her sister from outside of her room.
"No" snapped the Sun Goddess "I hate you Luna" she whispered.
"Did you just curse me?" came Luna's voice once again.
"Yes, yes I did." Celestia stated angrily "In fact, I hate all of you."
"I know you do Celly, I know you do." Luna chuckled to herself as she started on her way back to the royal kitchen.
The Sun Goddess did her best to shield her eyes as she crawled towards the open curtains, determined to seal her chambers from the Sun's hateful rays of light. With one final heave she managed to get herself to her destination and with her final bit of energy she pulled the curtains shut and basked in herself created eternal darkness. The mare of light closed her eyes as she lay on the cold marble floor, the silence the most wonderful thing she had heard all morning.
*Knock* *Knock*
"Go away" hissed Celestia as she tried to ignore the knocking. "Leave me to my eternal darkness!"
"Though I enjoy the spirit of your morning routine" Nightmare spoke as she prepared for Celestia's inevitable fury "Discord is eyeing your breakfast and we both know he's stupid enough to try and eat it."
And then the door exploded.
Nightmare quickly picked herself off the ground, determined not to suffer the Sun Goddesses wrath due to Discord's stupidity. Moving as quickly as the mare of darkness could manage she pulled herself into one of the many vacant rooms and carefully peered through the small crack she had left open. After several seconds of silence, the faint sound of hooves on marble echoed faintly out of the room. Nightmare watched in silent horror as Celestia, now engulfed in flames emerged from the room and slowly made her way towards the kitchen, a trail of fiery hoof prints in her wake.
Nightmare let out a sigh of relief as Celestia vanished around the corner. She was worried it was going to be a repeat of the last time she attempted to wake Celestia. It took her almost a week to regrow all that lost fur.
1.2 Minutes later
The fiery Sun Goddess made her way through the halls of Canterlot Castle, the guards and staff knowing very well that it was in their best interest to stay out of their princess’s path, lest they invoke her fury. Several of the braver guards followed far behind the princess in an effort to keep her fires contained. However, they quickly broke off when they saw the royal kitchen come into view, no sane mortal would even attempt to enter there, this early in the morning.
"Where is he?!" snarled the Sun Goddess as she blasted through the Kitchen door.
"Beneath the table!" shouted Luna as she dived from her seat, landing behind her sandbag wall. Slowly she rose back up, a metal war helmet a top her head. This time she was ready to sit back and enjoy her sister's fury from a safe distance.
Celestia gave no sign of hesitation as she vaporized the large wooden table and in an instant the cowering Draconequus was revealed, the last piece of Celestia's hay bacon strip sticking out of his mouth.
"Hi" Discord mumbled as he slowly pushed himself back. "This isn't what it looks like." he blurted out as he swallowed the last of Celestia's breakfast.
"Ten thousand years lunar banishment" Celestia yelled as the flames around her intensified.
"Excuse me Princess" came a voice from behind the Sun Goddess
"What?!" snapped the goddess as she turned to face the lone Earth Pony who dared to approach her. The brown Earth Pony remained unflinching, a large silver tray a top her head and a single mug in the center.
"Princess you should drink your coffee" Dusty stated calmly as she held the tray up towards the flaming Sun Goddess.
"Why?!" snapped Celestia
"Because you turn into a tyrannical monster when you wake up."
Dusty silently watched as Celestia gripped the mug with her magic before downing the entire contents of it in one swig.
"Better?" asked the Earth Pony
"Better." Celestia answered happily, the flames around her quickly extinguishing
"Good" Dusty answered "We've got to get you to your weekly Court of the Sun"
"Awww bu-" Celestia began but was quickly cut off by the brown Earth Pony.
"I let you skip last week’s court session and you burned down two thirds of the royal library."
"But it's my library" Whined Celestia.
"No excuses" Dusty stated flatly "Now you march on down to the throne room while I go get my notes."
"Fine" sighed Celestia as she trotted off in defeat.
Outside of the Kitchen
Several of the guards had gathered outside of the secondary entrance, semi prepared to rush in if things escalated any further. However, they were left in complete stunned amazement when a lone mare not only approached their raging Princess but proceeded to calm her and then tell her what to do. Several of them were no longer sure of whom they should fear more, the caffeine deprived Goddess or the one willing to approaching it.
Back in the Kitchen
"Awww" Luna cried "I was hoping she'd slow roast you, Looks like you got lucky for once."
Discord continued to stare off silently into space a look of terror still sprawled across his face.
In the Throne Room
Celestia sat in her throne and stared out at the large crowd that had gathered to seek audience with her. Creatures from all across Equestria gathered once a week to seek her advice and help. This week was no exception and to exacerbate many creatures had returned for a second opinion due to her "sick day" the week before.
"Who’s first?" Celestia asked as she shifted her gaze back to Dusty who had taken her place to the side of Celestia's throne.
"Oh son of a-" Muttered Dusty as she looked at her list.
"What?" asked the confused Goddess
Dusty gave a deep sigh as she prepared to announce the first pony.
"Introducing Prince Blueblood of Canterlot."
"Oh sweet sun and moon no" Celestia whispered to herself.
"Hello Auntie" spoke Blueblood as he approached far too close to Celestia's throne. "I tried sending my requests to you threw the mail, but it seems they never reached you."
Yes, Celestia thought to herself they never reached me doing her best to suppress a smile "That's a real shame nephew, but now you're here" Kill me now "What's complain- concerns do you have this time?"
"Yes, those useless mail ponies, couldn't deliver a simple message to save their lives. But that brings me to my problem."
"And what would that be" Celestia answered suppress the urge to strangle the white unicorn.
"I've waited almost three days for my shipment of imported Shampoo"
Celestia was on the verge of murder; her morning rage was beginning to return. However she had a much better idea.
With a flare of her horn a large wooden crate materialized between her and Blueblood.
"There you go nephew, hopefully this makes up for the trouble that might have been caused."
"Very good" Blueblood stated as he motioned for one of his servants to grab the box "Hopefully next time those foals won't be so incompetent." With that the Prince of douc- Unicorns left.
"That's incredibly generous coming from the mare who tried to murder me this morning" Nightmare spoke as she casual approached the throne; several ponies in the crowed slowly made their way out of the castle.
Celestia did her best to hide her grin "Pink dye, looks surprisingly like imported Shampoo."
"You really are an evil, evil mare." stated proudly
"Thank you, I learned from the best" Celestia quickly added a slight bow before turning her gaze back to Dusty "Who do we have next?"
"Introducing, Hard Rock of Manehatten"
"Greeting's Princess Celestia" spoke the grey Earth Pony "It's an honor to meet you." Hard finished as he removed his hat and gave a bow.
"The pleasure is all mine. What brings you to Canterlot this fine morning?"
"I would like to fly." The pony stated matter-of-factly
"But you're an Earth Pony" Celestia answered with a raised eyebrow
"Great observation" Nightmare whispered
The earth pony gave an awkward chuckle "Yes, I'm aware. But my father always taught me that you created the ponies. So, I was wondering if you could change what type of pony I was."
"Hmm" Celestia thought to herself as she rubbed her chin "Well between me and you, Unicorns and earth ponies are my territory. You'd have to speak to my sister about this and even then, you're making an extremely large request."
Hard Rock gave another bow "I apologize Princess, I should have thought before I spoke."
"Wait a moment" Nightmare spoke as she stepped forward "You've happened to catch me while I'm in a good mood. I haven't tried it before, but I'm sure anything Luna can do, I can do better." Nightmare stated with a smug grin "So what do yo-"
"Yes!" shouted the Hard.
"Well okay then." Nightmare said as a purple aura covered her horn. Hard Rock took a few steps back as the purple aura shot out and slowly wrapped around him. He tried not to laugh a faint tingling sensation shot through his body. With one final flash of light the Nightmare's magic faded leaving the ponies who had not fled in stunned shock.
"Did it work, did it work!?" Hard asked in pure excitement
"Well... sort of" Celestia stated as she conjured a mirror and held it in front of the young stallion.
His coat was now much greyer, but that was the smallest change. What really caught his eye where the set of wings he had gained. However, these weren't ordinary pegasi wings.
"Batpony!" Nightmare stated happily
"Don't worry Mr.Rock" Celestia stated nervously "Nightmare will get you back to normal in a minute."
"Why would I want to be Normal?" Hard asked in confusion as he slowly flapped his new wings "I look awesome, thank you so much Princess Nightmare!" The Batpony shouted in excitement as he hugged the Alicorn of Darkness before galloping off.
"Well then..." Celestia spoke as she watched the new Batpony exit the throne room.
"Did you hear that? He called me Princess Nightmare!" Nightmare finished with a victorious laugh.
"That's good Nightmare" the sun goddess stated flatly "You'll become Queen of Equestria, one pony at a time."
"Who's left Dusty?"
"I have no idea!" Dusty shouted as she looked at her list and back to the crowd "You two have managed to scare off at least half the crowd."
All according to plan Celestia thought to herself.
Dinner Time - Royal Kitchen
Chrysalis and Sombra had finally returned from their latest outing, neither of them spoke about where they went. But everyone in the castle had some rough idea. The two of them had already taken a seat and began eating, only slightly concerned by the hoof prints burned into the ground and the new table.
"So Chrysalis, Sombra how was your dat-" Luna was cut off by Chrysalis's gaze.
"Finish that sentence and you'll find this entire Castle at the center of the earth."
"Got ice cream" Sombra stated happily followed by Nibbles giving what could possibly be deemed as a happy screech.
However Chrysalis didn't share their joy, she only continued to glare at Luna, who wore a smug grin.
With a flash of light, the last creature missing arrived.
"Did you miss me?" Discord asked as he landed in his seat between Nightmare and Celestia.
"Now!" Shouted Nightmare as she gripped Discord with her magic. Celestia quickly followed in suit as she plunged the dagger she had hidden into the Draconequus's chest.
"Et tu, Nightmare?" Discord asked as he feigned surprise.
"I think you missed his heart" Nightmare stated as she stared at the bleeding God of Chaos.
"Great, now we have to deal with him." Celestia sighed
"Celestiaaaaa" whined the fatally wounded god.
"What?" Celestia asked flatly
"I'm bleeding, help me."
"No." The Sun Goddess answered flatly
"Celestiaaaaaa"
"No"
"Nightmaaaaare" whined Discord
"What?!" snapped the Alicorn as she dropped her fork.
"I'm bleeding!"
"Good" snapped the mare.
"Lunaaaaa"
"Die quietly Discord" Luna stated flatly "Some of us are trying to eat."
"But I'm bleeding!"
"I don't care, die quietly."
Stats
Page generated in 0.028 seconds
Total duration
981 users online
206,450 hits today, 1,872,792 yesterday
FIMFiction
My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
Designed and coded by knighty & Xaquseg - © 2011-2024
Follow & Support Us
Support us
SubStar
Chat!
Discord
Follow us
Twitter
MLP: Friendship is Magic® - © 2024 Hasbro Inc.®
Fimfiction is in no way affiliated with or endorsed by Hasbro Inc.®
Te date thing, and the whole die quietly. Those are both awesome. Good chapter, as usual.
Why can't all dinners be like this one. *sigh*
Caaaaaarl~!
I loved the coffee/snickers reference
You should do one for Luna now
Poor discord
I enjoyed it. You should do one about Nightmare maybe getting out of hand with making batponies XD.
Bleed should be bleeding and a few others as well, but very funny!
You had me at "And then the door exploded."
Now Discord has the thousand-yard stare.
i cant breathe
Loved the new chapter, keep up the good work!
You know, the royal houshold hasn't been very sane from the start, but by now they seem downright psychopathic. oO
This is probably one of the better chapters. Very well done.
I feel so sorry for Discord in all this.
im bleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeedding!!!
Dat reference
woke up - read this - laughed like an idiot - had a good day.
thank you good sir, for making my day
2947015
Thank you, the die quietly though is all Stryker and IceOfWaterFlock!
2947020
Because nobody would make it to dessert.
2947049
That kills people.
2947054
Maybe, maybe Luna gets a chapter.
2947069
I think I promised someone I wouldn't hurt Discord in this chapter too :l
Ooops.
2947084
You get to be a Batpony and you, and you too!
Everyone gets to be a Batpony!
2947109
Fixed! Thank you very much!
2947189
I didn't know what to write, so I exploded somethings.
2947221
Well that's not good D:
2947248
Thank you, I'm glad to see so many people are enjoying this chapter, though I think a lot of that is due to the help I received.
2947292
Sometimes murder is needed.
2947346
Thanks, hopefully I can maintain this quality, everyone seems to like this chapter so far which is great news!
2947407
I only feel slightly bad for him.
2947424
Die quietly.
2947443
It's great because YouTube ads are the only reason I remembered that and it happened when I couldn't figure out what to write.
2947559
Thanks, hopefully the next chapter will make your day even better!
2947590 *cough-cough* whyyyyyyyyyyyyyy meeeeeeeeeeeee!!!!!!!!!
*dead*
That ending was so great, I love the banter.
-Mis
If you somehow got psychotic Pinkie in to this story, I would fear for the world. Off of that opinion, I like the chapter and the references in it.
2947084
I enjoy the thought of this in a chapter written by you. Have fun writing, and have a Pinkie
lol nice XD
i pray the chrisislis, shining and candance chapter is next or be at least explained XD
tha
I like how i actually use the "Die Quieter" all the time in life.
But really great chapter mate,
~Reggie
Funny stuff as usual, nice work!
2948559
Don't wanna know.
By the Beatles: "A Day in the Life (of Celestia)"
I beat the Smooze today, oh boy.
The purple goop ended up everywhere.
A crowd of ponies stood and stared.
I got some in my mouth...
Now I know what rotten cabbage mixed with sewer gas tastes like!
I think I'll go... throw... up...
Woke up, flew out of bed,
Forgot my horn was on my head....
In my ceiling I was hanging stuck,
The guards came in and had a laugh at my expense. (huffy snorting)
Picked up my crown and hoofed my shoes,
While Luna went for her daily snooze.
Found a crowd of nobles in the court,
One of them whined, and I let out a scream... AAAAAAHHHH-AH-AH-AHHHHHHH-AHHH (the whole 'ah-ing' into the instrumental section of the song goes here. I ain't gonna write that whole cacophony out!)
I talked with Chrysalis, oh boy.
Four thousand holes in every changeling's form..
And Twilight counted every one.
She's just that damned obsessed, now she's near me saying that we need to go and count them twice!
I'd love to... knock... her... out....
*Carl flies outside, not realizing that bat ponies are vampires (at least according to a bunch of fanfics, which means it must be true).. and he burns up and turns to ash instantly*
I don't care, die quietly.
We had to wait a month, do you read me? A MONTH!!!
But it was worth it. Please try to pick up the pace where you can
2948559
Or did I try so little that it came full circle?
2947221 Agreed!
Is too much for me, I think I'm dying.
"Thorrrrrrrax"
"We can't breath, help us"
Poor Dissy... oh well, he'll live...
I think the ending joke was a bit forced.
lol loved the ending. Also glad to see NMM starting to get a following from the some of the subjects
2949051
That's pretty awesome :P
I FUCKING LOVE THIS STORY
NEVER STOP WRITING
OR I WILL FUCKING END YOU
Favorite chapter!
2949531
This is pure win! I freaking swear, this chapter is hilarious!
Just put Discord out of his misery so he'll be quiet.
2951587 Intellectual insanity is best insanity.
25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m8v4y6RfhS1rb73p6o1_500.png
I really shouldn't have found this chapter so funny, much less bawling with laughter funny.
Oh well.
Moar plz???
I almost feel sorry for Discord.... almost
"You really are an evil, evil mare." stated proudly
"stated proudly" i think you forgot something and funny chapter as always
"Got ice-cream."
Sombra is too cute.
Best line ever. "I dont care, die quietly."
Ha Ha! Snickers reference.
but I'm sure anything Luna can do, I can do better." Nightmare stated with a smug grin "
this is what i thought
2999324 Yeah I noticed that too
Then I got hungry for Snickers 
That ending! OMG! Just so horrible!
poor discord