Thorax Note; Chapter brought to you by IceOfWaterFlock and the letter Z. Personally, I love every line of this chapter.
"Discord, why are you holding a Changeling under your arm?" Nightmare asked, casting the draconequus a curious glance, "and why are you putting cotton candy on it?"
"It's not a Changeling, it's a pizza," Discord rolled his eyes. "Being on the moon for so long wrecked your eyes. Maybe you should get some glasses?"
"It doesn't look like a Changeling, you daft twit. It looks like you."
"It looks like a pizza."
"You!"
"Pizza!"
"You!"
"Pizza!"
"Why is Discord eating a Starwishes 3000 telescope?" Luna asked, trotting in. "And why are you yelling about pizza?"
"It's not a telescope!" Discord whined, "it's a pizza!"
"It's another one of you!" Nightmare shouted.
"That is most definitely a telescope."
"Pizza!"
"You!"
"Telescope!"
Discord snorted, setting down the object of undetermined form. "Celestia! Luna and Nightmare are opressing me again!"
Celestia appeared in a flash of light. "Luna, Nightmare, I told you, just because there's two of you doesn't mean you can evoke democracy- is he eating Shining Armor?"
"It's a pizza!" Discord shouted. "Are all of you blind?"
Chrysalis trotted into the room with a scowl, Sombra trailing behind with Nibbles perched on his back.
"Giant glowstick?" Sombra asked.
"Cookies?" Nibbles growled happily.
"Screaming Dead!" Chrysalis screeched, leaping forward with her horn ablaze.
She tackled the confused object from Discord's claws, pinning the thing on the floor. She touchedher horn to the air above it, and it dissolved into the shape of a white mare, speckled with signs of decay. The creature let out a wail of fear as Chrysalis loomed over it.
"What's that?" Celestia asked.
"Do you actually know any of the creatures inside your own borders, you sunstruck fatflank?" Chrysalis hissed. Her eyes widened after she finished speaking, and she made a soft whining sound. "Sorry, Celestia, I'm hungry and having a natural enemy inside the castle is not helping things!"
"What is it?" Celestia demanded, casting a quick glance at her flank. That extra cake wasn't showing, was it...?
"They're creatures that feed off of joy, and occasionally steal love to take it. They appear as one's deepest desires." Chrysalis snorted, glaring down at the pony-like creature.
There was a moment of silence around the group.
Luna looked up at Discord. "Your deepest desire... is a pizza?"
"It was one of the fancy ones with cheese in the crust." Discord huffed.
Luna turned to her sister. "Shining Armor? Really?"
Celestia avoided her gaze. "Maybe."
Nightmare had begun slowly backing out of the room. She was nearly free when Luna turned to face her. "And you saw Discord?"
"YouheardnothingandsawnothingIcanhearthelaundrycallinggottagobye!" Nightmare turned and fled.
"She doesn't even do laundry!" Chrysalis pointed out. "She leaves her towels on the bathroom floor!"
"What are towels?" Discord asked.
"Those fluffy things that you eat while dripping all over the hallway." Celestia replied, glaring at him.
"Oh yeah."
"Hey Dis~cord," Luna teased, leaning towards the draconequus, "you've got an admirer~!"
"Do they have pizza?" He asked.
"Did you hear nothing of what just happened?"
"Chrysalis is straddling a pizza. I'm distracted."
Chrysalis quickly stepped aside and held the creature down with her magic instead. She glanced at him, frowning. "You still see a pizza?"
"Well, it's got legs."
"That is one deep-rooted obsession." She remarked.
"Discord, you have problem," Sombra said quietly, his face serious as he placed a hoof on Discord's shoulder. "We help you get through."
"I can stop whenever I want!" Discord wailed.
"We believe you," Sombra replied. "We just want to help-"
"I don't need your help!" Discord wailed. He reached for Sombra, intending to grab him in a pre-pizza-withdrawl frenzy. Sombra ducked, and Discord's claws closed around a small hissing figure of darkness incarnate.
Nibbles hissed loudly and bit down on Discord's hand. The draconequus screeched and shook his hand violently, attempting to dislodge the demon spawn. Nibbles let out a cry of his own as he lost his grip and was slingshotted towards the ceiling.
The group let out a unified wince as Nibbles slammed into the ceiling. Chrysalis was the first to look up, expecting to see a red - or black, or green, she wasn't really sure what color poor Nibbles's insides were - stain on the nice white tiles. Instead, she saw a rather flat-looking Nibbles, but one that was very much alive and very much angry.
"Get him down!" Sombra shouted, pushing Discord with a hoof. "You throw Nibbles!"
"You threatened to take away my pizza!"
"Are we forgetting that I'm pinning down a creature capable of sucking your dry of all happiness?" Chrysalis called over the yelling.
"I'm sure it doesn't need our attention." Celestia replied casually, "after all, there's a stupid fight going on."
"Ah, of course." Chrysalis looked down at the shapeshifter she had pinned.
"The parasitic species are known commonly as the 'Screaming Dead' because of their natural appearance. Their official names are Whitefurs because of their pure white coats. In their natural form, they appear as adult mares or stallions, with small, oval holes broken through the skin on their throats and along the ribs behind their front legs." She gently rolled the creature over with one hoof, revealing the flared holes along it's neck as it struggled for breath under Chrysalis's magic. "Their manes and tails are partly phantasmal, and billow vertically like that of the Royal Sister's do horizontally. They also have hooves that break through their thin white coats, ending each of their legs with a bony two-toed hoof like a goat's instead of the common pony."
The creature let out a low whine and struggled to escape, drawing Luna's attention away from the bickering pair and towards Chrysalis's monologue.
"Their eyes are black, with a white iris and colored pupil. The color of their pupils is mimicked by any patterns they may carry, be it spots, stripes, socks or blazes. These marking will also glow, as their eyes do," Chrysalis continued. "The quality that allows the Whitefurs to survive is how they appear to most species; as the object of their deepest desires. The only species able to see through their magic - aside from other Whitefurs - are Changelings; the two species have formed symbiotic relationships in the past, but they tend to fight over prey. Whitefurs want to claim the prey for the joy their form brings, but if their form creates joy in a loving sense, Changelings may take the disguise from the Whitefur and attempt to steal the prey away for their love."
Luna continued watching silently as the creature fixed her with two bright purple pupils. It's mouth opened as if it was trying to speak, but Chrysalis didn't release her grip so it could breathe.
"Whitefurs, however, do not have a single static form like Changelings. Because of this, they prefer to hunt down prey alone, usually from travelling caravans or lone farmers. As ponies moved into larger cities with more watching eyes, Whitefurs quickly depleted to the point of immediate extinction. Somehow, a few of them clung to life and the sparsely populated areas of Equestria." Chrysalis tilted her head, looking back at Luna. "A shame some of them survived."
"Don't kill it."
"Wasn't going to," Chrysalis replied calmly. "Fatally wound it and release it into the wild? Maybe."
"No, don't. It's a... a miracle of science! The things ponykind could learn from such a creature are unlimited!" Luna shoved her own magic under Chrysalis's, pulling the creature up onto it's feet and allowing it to catch a breath. "Now, do you have a name?"
Anguish.
Luna took a step back. The creature hadn't moved to speak, nor did she really hear anything.
Telepathy. The Whitefur replied. Sorry.
"Celestia, her name is Anguish."
"Who's name is what now?" Celestia turned her attention away from the fight. "Oh, a new pet? Yes, you can keep it, as long as you take care of it."
"She's not a pet!"
"Make sure she cleans up after herself, then." Celestia replied nonchalantly.
"Anguish, I'll set up a guest room in the tower for you. Chrysalis? Don't kill her."
"No promises," Chrysalis replied. "Now, I feel I've fulfilled my grimdark quota for the month, so if you'll excuse me, I'm going to go get some breakfast and cheer up a bit."
The Changeling Queen stalked back out of the room, followed by Luna and Anguish. Eventually, Nibbles dropped down from the ceiling and scampered off to go attack some unsuspecting passers-by. Celestia simply made herself comfortable and waited for the scuffle to die down.
Which it did... eventually.
After Discord was sentenced to the badger closet, of course.
Nibbles can be so adorable
And as for Discord, he can quit anytime he wants; There's nothing wrong with enjoying a good pizza now and then
Dat description is so fucking true
Another hilarious chapter... and a new cast member? I'm not complaining if you do some funny stuff with it, but personally I don't feel we've gotten to know Sombra or nibbles that well yet. Ah well, your story.
Badger closet?
I dont know what that is. Doesn't sound really bad either.
3054452
Thorax came up with an idea and I was stuck in a car for four hours today. What else was I supposed to do? :L
But don't worry, I'll ensure more Sombra/Nibbles/Anguish interaction later!
Nice to see the hilarity is still quality, keep going~
-Mis
3054452
Don't worry, there is so much more Nibbles and Sombra in the future.
lol
yay more nibbles! :D
i love nibbles hes adorable X3
and new charater? ok im good for that X3
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He doesn't have a piz- Oh wait a minute
farm5.staticflickr.com/4074/4814014643_b2e1da67c5_z.jpg
Damn, I was hoping that nibbles would disembowel Discord.
i want to see a pic mainly form the line "Chrysalis is straddling a pizza". I looked online for the internet can be random but this hasn't popped up in anyone's mind.
3054757
This idea is very original thank you very much
3054780
don't mention it.
The chapters I write are getting progressively shorter.
3054843
Mine are getting so short, it's like I don't even write them anymore :l
OH GOD THE NEST BUGS SEND HEL- JLFANSJLASNLSGA
Another member of the Crazies!
It seems they will be good friends!
Awaiting further releases.
Why not give the whitefur to pinkie? That mare creates happiness and joy in her wake at levels that could easily keep her full and not drain any equestrians.
badger closet? Do I even want to know, thorax?
how'd you name her(?) Anguish? That's a nice name
The Badger Closet? Sounds painful.
This is what I thought at the end.
"Holy Fuck"
3054486
The cat is out of the bag, eh?
(For NMM that is.)
Great, now I'm in the mood to read a Celestia X Shining Armor fic.
I think this has to be the funniest chapter of anything I've ever read, I laughed until it hurt because all of this was just so fucking fantastic and unexpected.
Loved the new chapter, can't wait for more!
I'm going to and look at all of IceOfWaterFlocks stuff now.
I've seen badgers and what they can do...
Discord, don't provoke them...
Oh God No! Not the Badger Closet!
poor Discord ... maby you will learn your lesson this time
3054976 Give her to Pinkie? What we need - a Whitefur that can roll places.
But what happens if Anguish actually feeds on Discord? That'd be like eating a cone of LSD ice cream...
I want to nibble on your Nibbles...
...at least discord isn't in the honey badger closet. They don't give a sht for immortality, they'll kill you once and for all. That's why no immortal messes with them.
Honey badger just takes what it wants.
Love this series! I wanted to feature this in my blog with your permission, so please?
So everything turned out ok in the end. Luna got a new pet and Discord got a trip to the badger closet
The part with Nightmare... That was my absolute favorite scene in this entire series so far! You didn't lie with the description!
3055072
I asked a Skype group. The other name was Despair, but Anguish sounds nicer.
3056290 Despair is also nice
You sir, have some VERY good ideas
3056416
All the ideas in this chapter are purely those of Ice, when she was telling us about her ideas, I couldn't stop smiling.
You had me at "Giant Glowstick?"
3056211
The first rule of badger closet is you do not talk about badger closet.
Just finished reading this up until now, absolutely loving it! +1 thumbs up and a favorite to you good author!
3056581
Yes I am glorious indeed
-Chrysalis straddling pizza
-Discord having an addiction
-FINALLY a way to tell Nightmare loves Discord
-Chrysalis straddling pizza
-Badger closet
-Chrysalis straddling pizza
So celestia loves shining amour? Huh, I would have never known.
3057035
-Chrysalis straddling pizza
-Sombra and Nibbles
-Chrysalis straddling pizza
-Luna gets a science experiment
-Chrysalis straddling pizza
-Chrysalis straddling pizza
-Chrysalis straddling pizza
-Chrysalis straddling pizza
-Chrysalis straddling pizza
3057497
See this guy knows what's going on
this 0ne was awes0me
WHAT THE HECK MAN you changed the cover art
I liked the old cover art
Everyone, your prayers have been answered!
By a bored idiot with half an hour to kill and MS Paint.
i1348.photobucket.com/albums/p736/Elzipper7/BlameFIMfic_zpsa67a8a34.png
I regret nothing!
3060667
I am completely speechless.
3060838 That's probably for the best.
3055808 play LSD dream emulator. That is what the resulting choas would look like.
Must..... kill.... something. So strange. I am slowly going crazy. Paranoia hallucinations homicidal thoughts suicidal thoughts memory loss egotism disturbing and sudden intrests fucked up sexuall fantasys headaches mood swings kill kill kill killkillkillkillKILL! oh god what is wrong with me?