• Member Since 17th Sep, 2012
  • offline last seen Mar 12th, 2019

Divide


Dead as a doornail since 2014

T

I love to steal. The thrill of the theft, the shivers that go down my spine when I pilfer someone's valuable or rare object... it's an adrenaline rush.

Back on Earth, my job was damn difficult. Laser tripwires, security cameras, alarm systems, and armed guards were just some of the things I had to deal with on an almost-daily basis if I wanted to make ends meet. Here in Equestria, though... it's almost as if they want me to steal from them. It's a cakewalk. Even with Fence taking a portion of the value when he sells my stolen goods, I'm still practically rolling in bits.

Surely nothing bad could come of this at all... right?

Chapters (4)
Comments ( 151 )

are there a few elderscrolls refrences in there, or are they just coincidental?

Damn straight. Avarice is back. If I remember correctly... "You are a greedy human in Equestria." Part of the summary, wasn't it? So it changed from second to first person. Well, at least we'll learn his name now, eh? And if it keeps this story from falling apart like Anthro, I'm all for the change.

I wonder what role the statue will play now. Symbolism of his 'condition'? Something to marvel at when he gets or makes a home? A reminder of better times when 'it' happens? Nah, I'm gonna stop now, for sake of spoilers.

Hehe... I'm assuming Trials and Tribulations is gonna make an epic comeback, too?

Ahem, please don't mind me, just here to say this....
GET ALL THE SHINIES!

Rule One: If it looked valuable, it probably was.

Rule Two: Refer to step one.

Rules to live by.

There's no way that this is happening. No freaking way. I'm back at the Institute, asleep in my cot, and this is all a bad dream.

Denial.

Are you fucking kidding me?! Everything was going great! Why now, after the fact, is this stupid goddamn dragon chasing me?! He could've found me at any other time, but no!

Anger.

Can't a guy steal things for a living? Is that so bad? You know what, I'll trade you the loot for my life. Sound like a deal, fate?

Bargaining.

Why...? Why me? What did I do to deserve—oh. Right.

Depression.

Well... at least I'll go out in a blaze of glory. Stupid dragon...

Acceptance.

Cabbage sees what you did there.

I see too. Going through grief to steal from a dragon's hoard. How appropriate.

Very interesting take on a Human in Equestria fic. So far, the anti-hero protagonist is pretty likeable.

if I wanted to make ends meat.

This is from the description. See the error?

2350355
Intentional...

Okay, maybe not...

I'm guessing this is an old story, revived, but I'm new to the crowd. Still, it was good. Fav'd and liked.

2350064
Mmmm... Cabbage. Can I eat you, please? You look rather tasty... :rainbowkiss: That's not an innuendo either. I am actually craving cabbage. :eeyup:

Hope you keep through with this one.

Boop.

This is so much easier to read when it's not in second person.

Great to see this back:pinkiehappy:
But I'm next to 100% certain that you already posted this story as "Avarice", and as far as I can tell very little has changed.:rainbowhuh:
Why repost it, albeit in a different perspective?:trixieshiftright:

2351370
All my stories were deleted. Also, second-person sucks.

2351386 Ah, sorry bout that, and very true.:eeyup:

2351386 You dislike second person?
What are you, gay?

2350064 Woah :rainbowderp: Nice catch, Cabbage

How do I add this to my read later list?

2352273
The book with alarm clock beside the title of the fic

This chapter, I like it. *looks at printed versions for a few seconds and throws it down, hard* ANOTHER

2352349 hehe *Is a dwarf* *Slams down mug* ANOTHER!

Ooooo this looks good! Can't wait for more :pinkiehappy:

2352653
*fills mug with water accidentally* TO THE KLEPTO!

2352689
umm, that's water. how many have you had sir? :rainbowderp:

2352706
Fifty-two and counting, sir! *Salutes drunkenly*

2352713
*hands you a bottle of MTN DEW* I think this will suffice for now.

2352727
Ah, sweet nectar of the mountains!

2352756
Pretty much, I usually drink this instead of the usual ale, helps me stay sober enough to run the tavern, keeps me awake too :pinkiecrazy:

2352785

Sober? Who needs to be sober? We've got ALCOHOL. *Drinks from the keg*

2352820
I can't be drunk on the job, I might give out freebies, oh and that keg brings your total tab up to a full gold bar, care to continue?

2352840

Ish a frwee cawntrey, I can do whatsh I wantsh... The alc'hol in a freer countrey is free too... *hic* I dun have to pay any of your fanshy tabs with your fanshy gold barsh... *hic* you go ahead and keep 'em.

2353171
the "fanchy" gold bars are the currency of your people, the dwarves, and my calculations put your bill at one full gold bar and with new debt collecting laws I can forcibly take the gold sir *stands from behind bar revealing full size (6'3'' solid muscle) and cracks knuckles*

2353227
*Gives you a gold bar in a mug of ale* heer ya go. *leaves*

2353252>>2353271 If'n ya ask me. It's a mite bit rude to be roleplayin on the comment section of someone's story. Just asking nicely if you two'll do this with pm's or on each other's comment section your pages?

Hopin to see where this story goes. I love klepto's.

2353281
2353292

Good idea. PMS GALORE! TIME TO FILL YOUR INBOX

I was wondering where the hell this fic went. I must see how he gets involved into ponyville once more. I hope see updates to parts that I haven't seen yet.

Stealing is good for the soul.

TEP

Can't wait to see where this is going.

<Edit>
also anypony know why im a gold member?

I like this, and now I politely request MOAR.

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