Divide, some poor sod who prefers his days monotonous and plan-able, gets pulled into Equestria through magical seepage when Twilight completes Starswirl the Bearded's final spell. Once there, he finds that all ponies, sans the Elements of Harmony, are inexplicably attracted to him. While fighting off hordes of horny horses, the mane six and Divide must find a solution to this enigmatic equestrian ethos—or find a way to deport him back to his own dreary dimension.
Will he survive, or shall he fall before these frisky fillies and salivating stallions?
Inglorious self-insert, written because I promised I would.
Chapters (4)
I like it, keep up the good work!
"Ffffffffffffffffuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu-"
Lol, can't wait to see how the shit drops.
seems legit, like follow fav
Good beginning. Can't wait for chapter 2!
Hah! That would certainly be a mind bender! A wierd creature appears before you and says "Well crud How did I end up in north america?".
I'm glad you posted this, was looking forward to this story ever since that poll you put up a while back.
Hah! Nopony will be able to stand before the wrath of Divide's quick wit and scathing tongue!
Rain, wind, and more rain, you say? I'm almost envious, I can't recall the last time it rained here. But that's what you get for living in a place with a desert-esque climate, I suppose.
So that went off to a great start, getting kicked by Dash (presumably), and shouting out the name of your new location. By the way, won't anypony be suspicious of your knowledge of their world? Or you could just feign ignorance and treat every detail as something new.
So, we gonna troll the ponies, or what, Divide? Although equines being inexplicably attracted to you may limit your freedom in Ponyville. There goes acting like Inebriated Waffle.
Speaking of Waffle, are you going to reference or cameo some of the characters/ideas from any of your other works? I mean, imagine the look on your face or your reaction when you see your own ideas before you. If that was me, I don't know if I'd be giddy or scared.
Wonder what name you're gonna go by, but it's probably gonna be Divide, for the sake of storytelling. I know what name (number) I'd go by!
Hey, I just realized you can troll the brony community. If you have a phone or recording device, record stuff that isn't in or didn't happen in the show, make the ponies say incriminating things, simply document your time there. Then when you get back to Earth you can upload whatever you got onto the internet. "I'M the first human in Equestria! U mad, bronies?"
That would be a pretty douchy thing to do, plus that would ruin the HiE concept and maybe collapse the entire fandom. Eh, perhaps it's not such a great idea, maybe even the government will get involved.
Welp, I ran out of things to say. Damn, still need to read the new chapters for Crusade and Unknown, AND check the Vault profile to see if there's anything new. Hopefully I'll get the chance sometime this decade.
Oh, right, the most fundamental point of this review.
...
...
... MOAR!!!
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Im already hooked on this story, good job mate!
Dear fucking Jepus the description itself earns a fucking like!
3075374 I guess it's time to come clean.... posting my video now...
You really know hot to hype person up and get them into the story. Ima fav this and follow the story cause its really good so far. Hope for an update soon
Alright. Things escalated slightly quickly, but I suppose this story does take place in Equestria, not Earth. I shall watch this and see where it goes.
UAHAUHAUHAUHaHHAAEHAUEHAUEHAHEUEAHAUHAUEHAUHEUAHEHAEUAUEUAHHEHAEHAEUHAEUH
GOLD!!!11!
By the way,the Insanely Humanoid Friendly Pony has also golden eyes
Ohhohoh, i had not expected this to happen so soon and in a way such as this but damn it like it.
She has an adrenaline shot :v
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keep it up!
To the favorites, here you come!
Let the rape commence!!
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welp i guess everything just hit the fan.
pervert count 2
the list will probably enlarge as we progress the story...
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I love it! FINALLY a human that DOESN'T want to get raped. ugh...
This. Is just as hilarious as I expected from the description
3082722
*grabs cactus and jumps in car* PUNCH IT!!!
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3082287 Probably isn't the only thing that'll enlarge either...
This story......... I like it, ANOTHER CHAPTER! 24.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m47ctfSTn71qajpsro1_500.gif
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Continue.
Epinephrine...
Adrenaline...
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Shhhhhh... It's not time yet.
———But it will be soon.
Oh, what's this?! A fanfic with a human, lusty mares, and he's not out to get it on with them, and he has someone by his side?
Hot damn, now I'm really paying attention.
Oh lordy xD this is gonna be good!
Huh, well...At least she waited for him to wake up. She could have totally raped him in his sleep.
...Or...DID she?...
... And I'm back from my little break from the fandom. Even this Unknown person needs a break from poni poni poni every so often.
Well, would you look at that. Divide is living a clopper's dream over there in Equestria. It's love at first sight, I say. Divide/Redheart shipping! No? Okay...
Nyahahah, a horse riding a person! Couldja imagine that? It's the other way around... and... Where am I going with this?
You know, now would be the perfect time for that Soviet Russia meme, except replace Russia with Equestria.
"We'll take the back exit out.'
Either my mind is really down in the gutter, or that's more innuendo right there. Could it be? Is her demeanor simply a ruse? Is Twi up all night to get lucky?
Hmm, a golden eye... It's not OO7, that's a given. Maybe Ditzy?
I think it's time to make with the running. Hope you brought Ninja/Marathon in your loadout!
I both know and don't know where this story is headed. 5 bits says he falls for one of the main six and they never love him back.
3101533
I'd never hear the end of it if that happened.
Two chapters and I'm hooked.
*sigh*
Never had I wanted a time machine more than when I started to read fics.
I hate waiting!
3084140 dang it bro!
3110976 I couldn't resist. I am weak.
JUST A FEW
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God damnit that gif xD
This was a nice chapter, as always, but I didn't know it's that hard to say "they want to "rape" me"... well of course the situation and the personalities of both you and Pinkie affects... but still!
3139983
That gif.
I love doing that to washmachines that are thrown away.
Anyway, lovely chapter, first i didn't expect it to go so fast but you really pulled it off nicely.
Great job and happy writings.
3139983 I-it's like it's laughing at me!
I can't stop laughing! First the fic, not the gif! What the fuck is wrong with you people!?
Keep it up!
Oh, and it's "fetal", not "foetal".
Keep up the bloody good job!
3140839
Foetal = fetal. I think it's the British spelling, but I'm not entirely sure.
3141093
Foetal is the hypercorrected spelling. It's the English spelling and what is considered correct in most commonweath countries. Fetal is American. Given that it's from the Latin 'fetus' it really doesn't matter which spelling you choose.
3141230
Ah, good to know.
Well. I don't think I'd be nearly as reserved about the situation as Divide, but then again, I probably would've bluntly explained to Pinkie what exactly the miniature horses want from me.
Heck, being able to construe a motivational speech for Twilight on the spot? You must really keep your wits about.
Not introducing religion to Equestria... Heh, never read Chuckward's Jesus fic, then? I loosely consider myself a Catholic, and I still find that fic funny.
Hell yeah! Parkour in Equestria!
That part about losing them in the tree reminds me of something... and I reckon this theme will apply to a lot of future chapters, too!
huh, when almost every mare is in heat and trying to rape you into oblivion, i thought it would be the greatest idea to just explain that straight forward to Pinkie... well i guess keeping it PG is better
Pervert Count 10!!!!!
(that escalated quickly!)
Not bad. Funny enough. Even if super lazy Twi should not be anywhere near that out of shape, simply by nature of being a pony. I mean how far did she carry Tom?