3. Hope for the Hopeless
Chapter 3 – Hope for the Hopeless
Holding back tears, Derpy looked back at Twilight. She barely knew this pony. The unicorn was the most talented magic user in all of Ponyville, if not in all of Equestria. She, on the other hoof, was a mailpony, and a terrible one at that. How could she dare throw all of her burdens on this pony? She stared back at the floor. But, she reflected, after what she’s done for me… how she genuinely cares… how could I not? Her heart’s dam broke.
“Proud? I’m not proud.”
Her eyes clamped shut and she shook her head violently, her blonde mane thrashing fiercely with it. She looked back up to Twilight, seeing her look of concern mixed with mild confusion. “I’m not proud. I never have been and I never will be. I’m a failure, Twilight - a disaster waiting to happen. I’m the outcast with messed up eyes, a featherbrain, and the only time ponies will stay around me is when they want a front seat to the next catastrophe I’ll cause. I’m less than a nopony. Noponies don’t destroy town halls, demolish mail shipments, or drop pianos on other ponies’ heads.”
Twilight cringed at that.
Derpy looked straight at Twilight, and for a fleeting moment Twilight saw into those amber eyes. She saw despair and self loathing swimming around, about to overtake the pony sitting in front of her. They were waiting, eager to grab her and drag her down into the dark recesses they had stored in her soul when she was most vulnerable, to entrench her in their blackness forever. Twilight was frozen with fear and empathy for the pony sitting in front of her.
“Twilight, the reason I was down here doing my deliveries today was that I screwed up in Cloudsdale yesterday, too. I was sent here as a sort of initial demotion. After today, I may not even have a job anymore. All I’ll be is the comedic relief - the pony other ponies point and laugh at every time she falls, every mistake she makes. All that’ll be left is the… the featherbrained disaster with messed up eyes.”
Derpy broke completely, sobbing for what little she thought she was worth, and Twilight was not going to sit as a spectator any longer. She may not have had the incredible lack of luck Derpy seemed to possess, and thanks to Celestia, and Celestia only, she had friends now, but she was all too familiar with the feelings of awkwardness, of seclusion, and of the assurance that you’re very alone and will stay that way forever.
A fraction of a second was all that it took for this unfortunate pegasus’ situation to click into place in her mind, and she found herself rushing forward, pulling Derpy into a tight embrace silently. Her own eyes moistened with tears. No words needed to be spoken at that moment - no consolation, no empty encouragement, no arguing about what may have been right or wrong, just pure sorrow that could be shared between the two to lessen the pain that it brought.
They held each other and cried, until the tears carried the empty feelings away.
****************
It had been several long hours for Spike. He absentmindedly picked at his teeth as he wound his way back to the Golden Oaks Library, reflecting on the past several hours as he attempted to dislodge a hardened chunk of Celestia knew what from a spot between his incisors. The first thing he had done that afternoon was deviate from Twilight’s instructions, though it took all his willpower to do something not endorsed by his librarian supervisor.
Spike had run, not for Sugarcube Corner immediately as instructed, but for the post office. He decided that, whatever it was that had happened, he and Twilight owed an explanation to the postmaster about the situation with Derpy, even though he truthfully couldn't give much information regarding the subject. The postmaster had seemed to be satisfied with the simple explanation that Spike and Twilight had literally run over Derpy, and that all parties involved were not hurt.
The postmaster had raised an eyebrow at the story, finding it a bit strange to have the announcement delivered to him by a gasping and somewhat frantic dragon. Nonetheless, he thanked Spike for informing him of the problem, as he was grateful to know that the accident was in no way the poor pegasus' fault.
Pinkie had accepted Twilight’s absence easily enough, knowing that if the unicorn couldn’t come to the appointment, it must have been for an important reason. That, however, did not stop her from forcing her occasionally nauseating creations on Spike, insisting that he ate double the amount to make up for her other missing test subject.
Many of her confections were good, he had to admit, but he had definitely saved Twilight from what surely would have been a twisted study into new meanings of the word misery. Whatever had possessed the baker to use mustard and oyster sauce as flavoring agents he couldn’t say, and in all honesty, he did not want to know. He had considered asking for extras of those atrocities to take home for Twilight, just to emphasize how much he had suffered for her, but he decided that losing indoor sleeping privileges was not worth the risk.
His stomach argued with gravity as he walked, trying to drag him to the ground for some needed rest, but the thought of his bed kept him upright, at least for the moment.
His thoughts strayed back to Derpy’s unexpected appearance, and he wondered what had been wrong in the first place. The rain had stopped since he'd left the library, so he figured that her job should be at least less damp now. Deciding it was none of his business, he swept it from his mind and continued on. After all, the only reason that he had been involved in the first place was for the fact that he happened to be present, since Twilight was dragging him along with her magic when the collision happened.
There was nothing extraordinary to notice as he approached the library, but he raised an eyebrow when he noticed two silhouettes through the window. Apparently whatever had happened earlier was enough of a reason for Derpy to remain with Twilight, and, considering his friend’s tendency to overreact, he silently hoped that she wasn't forcing Derpy to delay her delivery work for some arbitrary reason, such as discussion of post office organization or some other such drivel.
Spike also became aware that a quiet discussion going on inside had been temporarily halted as he walked up the path. He gave a small knock to announce his presence and hesitated for a moment, then opened the door and stepped inside.
****************
Slowly but surely the mutual emotional outburst had worn itself out. Derpy’s crying eventually stopped, though not without several remaining whimpers and an occasional tear. Another surge of emotion ran through her body though as she realized what exactly was happening – she was sharing an undeserved but heartfelt hug with a pony she regarded in the highest esteem.
She felt a wave of heat flush her face as she slowly broke the hold Twilight had her in, being careful all the while not to look directly at the unicorn, in order to prevent this embarrassing blush from being noticed. She cleared her throat slightly, beginning to form an apology for her behavior while still staring at the floor.
“Twilight, I’m so s—”
The gentle press of a hoof over her muzzle silenced her. Startled, she looked up to see Twilight smiling at her. Derpy was suddenly struck by the fact that after several years of indifference toward her at best, she had received two very genuine smiles in a single day. That in itself mended her bleak outlook, although only slightly.
Twilight slowly withdrew her hoof and offered the dusty pony a meaningful response. In no way did she want to give the distraught and nervous mare a cliché answer that would result in nothing more than further awkward isolation.
“Derpy.” Their eyes met, at least mostly – as well as Derpy could manage, anyway - and Twilight continued. “You are not a failure or a featherbrain. I can tell deep down that you are a very kind and intelligent pony.”
Derpy adopted a very skeptical look. Twilight resisted the urge to roll her eyes before she went on.
“Trust me, Derpy. Most ponies out there don’t look at you for who you are. They see what they feel like seeing and then go on with the rest of their lives, oblivious to what hurt they may be causing. You need to look past that, because the ponies who don’t take the time to care, don’t deserve the satisfaction of making your life miserable.”
Derpy interrupted with what could best be described as resigned indignation. “How can you possibly…”
“Know that?” finished Twilight. “I know because up until two years ago, that was an exact description of me as well. Before I moved to Ponyville, I had one friend – Spike – and I treated him as more of a helper than a friend. I didn’t understand the effects that friendships can have on ponies, or how much they can infinitely change your life for the better.”
She paused, lost in a thought for an instant before resuming. “I think that this may be your first hurdle to a happy life - when you realize that your life is what you make of it, not what others tell you it is.”
She poked Derpy in the chest with her hoof as if to emphasize her point. “You need to start with finding a true friend - a friend who will share in your joys, sorrows, pains, and help lift you through the difficult times when they come.”
Derpy was speechless at the plain as day revelation was given to her, but she darkened at the mention of finding that one true friend.
“Twilight, you’ve seen what a mess I make of everything. You’ve seen the looks ponies give me. Where am I supposed to find a true friend when I can’t even find a pony that will put up with me for more than a day?”
This time, it was Twilight’s turn to blush.
“Well… ever since I came to Ponyville, I’ve made many friends, and I’m sure you know that Applejack, Fluttershy, Rainbow Dash, Rarity, and Pinkie Pie mean the world to me.” Twilight gave Derpy a small smile as the pegasus nodded. “I don’t think that there is a limit on the number of truly dear friends I can have, so... I’d be glad to have you as a close friend, too.”
Time came to a halt at this announcement, and both ponies went silent for a moment. As the meaning of Twilight's words sank in, Derpy’s jaw hit the floor, timed perfectly with the timid knock announcing that Spike had returned.
****************
The dragon entered the room to a curious sight, to say the least. Mail was to be found everywhere in the library, hanging from strung lines or pressed under moisture adsorbent papers. His eyes swept the room, and he acknowledged that something important MUST have happened for Twilight to allow such a mess to desecrate her beloved library. That something, it seemed, was sitting on a couch next to Twilight.
Much to his chagrin, he noticed that apparently the important something was not over. Neither pony made any notice of the dragon’s presence, but what he could see was that Derpy was gaping at Twilight with glistening eyes and was obviously on the verge of tears.
Emotional crises were not things Spike went out of his way to participate in, and, judging from the look on Derpy’s face, this situation was definitely one that he did not want to be present for. Trying to avoid any involvement in the scene, he dashed up the stairs as silently as possible, closing the bedroom door behind him.
He heard a muffled cry from below, and decided that now was as good a time as ever to start a deep relationship with his pillow and blanket, and possibly a couple of earplugs.
****************
On the ground floor of the library, Derpy felt the crimson burning return to her face along with newly forming wetness in the corners of her eyes. She gave one more sob, but it was subdued, a much quieter and shorter cry than before. This cry was different, and it felt unlike anything she had felt in a very long time. It was a cry of pure, blissful emotion, created from the joyous realization that finally somepony had listened to her, understood her, and still eagerly offered friendship regardless of what misfortune the ashen pony would surely bring in the future.
She surged forward, once again enveloping Twilight in a hug that was so strong it surprised both of them. She buried her muzzle into Twilight’s mane, eyes clamped shut and whispering over and over a simple phrase that most ponies voiced with no meaning behind it. Only the unicorn in her grasp could truly appreciate the significance of the almost inaudible murmur of “Thank you.”
After several minutes, the two mares released their grips on each other and sat back, each continuing to look directly at the other. Derpy had a much lazier smile on her face now. All tension, worry, and self-doubt had dissipated into an ethereal vapor that was being whisked away bit by bit.
“You’re very welcome, Derpy,” Twilight replied, almost breathlessly.
Regaining some composure, she continued. “If you don’t mind stopping by the library every once in a while, I would love to spend some more time with you.” It suddenly occurred to her that her statement might have sounded… well… suggestively flirtatious at best. “That is, if you wouldn’t mind stopping over to have some tea and talk a bit,” she quickly added, a slight pink tinge adorning her cheeks.
Derpy grinned wildly and gave a vigorous nod. “I’d love to! Can I stop by tomorrow afternoon after I’m done… with… my rounds…” She trailed off, realizing with horror that she still hadn’t finished delivering all her mail that day.
Twilight caught on quickly, offering a fast, “I wouldn’t mind you coming by tomorrow at all. Now, let’s get out there and finish off your day’s work. I think your letters are, for the most part, clean and dry by now, and with me giving you a helping hoof, we should be able to finish on time.”
Derpy beamed at the offer.
Twilight gathered all the letters up into a purple stack and deposited half of them into Derpy’s mailbag and the other half into her own saddlebags. Opening the door, the two mares headed out into Ponyville side by side, the beginnings of friendly, idle banter floating between the new friends.
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1629459 Yep, it is indeed a TwiDerpy ship... I didn't think I had seen many, and somehow I just liked the idea, so... here we go!
1629354>>1629297 Sorry for the confusion on the repost on the first 2 chapters; I realized after posting that there is no 'edit' on chapters (at least that I've found) after you put them up... The only solution I could come up with to make them easier to follow for readers was to repost them entirely and remove the old blocky versions. My apologies if that bothered anybody.
Apologies said on my faux pas, here is chapter 3, and I hope everybody enjoys it.
I find this much like the golden arches of McDonalds in the sole fact that I am indeed lovin' it. I hope to continue to do so, as you seem to know what you are doing. Godspeed, Remedy, godspeed.
I... I can't handle the cute... hnnng
OK. You got me interested. So far this looks like a really good TwiDerpy fic.
Too bad that there hasn't been that many good fic about these two, since most of them are bit... well... hasty. They don't take their time if you know what I mean.
But, looking forward how this story is going to develop
Very well written story with many many feels for all.
one question ...
Is there or will there ever be a Dinky in this fic?
Adorable unicorn fillies are adorable!
1631718 I hadn't planned on Dinky being in the story, being mature/romance, but the story is far from finished and you never know when inspiration might strike unexpectedly.
Likely not in THIS one though. I may write another or a sequel though; who knows? 
And everybody, thanks for the kind comments, I'm glad you are enjoying it and that makes writing further even more alluring.
Third chapter down and I have to say, this is wonderful. I don't see very many Twilight and Derpy romances and I'm looking forward to reading the other chapters. I haven't seen any grammarical mistakes and the character development is done rather well. I can tell you put quite a bit of thought into this. Great work.
Signed,
Kylar L. Soza
Ambrosia M. Firehoof
Twilight, you are best pony!
Ouch...
This story hits me straight to where it feels feels.
I´m gonna consume rest of the story SUPER fast!
Damn, this was heart breaking. Luckey Twilight is ALWAYS there to lend a helping hoof and ah Spike, you just got to love the scaled bastard
I love how you had Twilight able to feel the pain Derpy feels through her own childhood of lonliness. It just works on so many levels.
Props to Spike for taking iniative and preventing any blame from sailing towards Derpy
More d'awwws abound when Twilight calls herself a true friend for Derpy, and I'll throw in an ooh-la-la at the budding crush Twilight has.
I can relate with Derpy on this one. On most counts.
On a side note, my god, Spike's a little asshole in there! "The mares are crying? Where are my earplugs?"
2459288 Eh, he's a little kid. They're probably talking about "girly stuff" ;)
as soon as i read that thng about spike, i thought you should have exploited the potential for disaster that that encounter had. what a way to bring in conflict!
ah, maybe im being a bit cruel.
but on second thought, being cruel to your characters is YOUR job, author. its YOUR responsiility to throw your characters through as much gut wrenching pain as possible before they come out the other end. why am i doing your job?
okay, carry on. back to the story i go.
as i read on, that little "walking home" scene with spike gives him some real characterization. but i think you characterized him a little bit off. he came across as like a smaller, sadder, less-obsessed-with-sex version of cloud kicker in "the winningverse". through his thoughts and actions, he comes across as a little bit morose and kind of a jerk. its a little hard to place into words, but you get the general idea. but the thing i have with it is that spike is neither one of those. he is a super nice, pastel, and slavish purple dragon. he can hardly be called sad, or an asshole.
oh, and im liking the feel to this story. you paint a scene of it being a rather grey day for all involved (i mean "grey" as in both the color and the emotional metaphor). great use of the rain as a plot device and as something to drive home just how spurned derpy is by cloudsdale society. and im also liking how you made derpy's eye problem the source of her misfortoune, and how you made her feel so trapped because of it, and conveyed her desperation to get it fixed. the eye chart mural in her room was genious.
*ahem* i really should get back to reading.
why is derpy embarassed about her behavior? she just made a friend.
please dont let this be the introduction to the twiderp romance. i mean, you said it yourself, derpy needs a friend, not a lover. hell, if this were an entirely non-twiderp story, we could be seeing the magic of friendship in a new light; seeing it in action; watching it help someone who desperately needs its power, and we could have fun following derpy around as she explored this new world of friendship and as it tied all three seasons of "letters to celestia" together into a consice, cohesive narrative that was an emotionally charged ride and a REALLY good read.
and why is twilight havig these awkward moments where she fears she is becoming flirtatious? why is she wondering what's wrong with herself?
but no. you have to go all twiderp on me. okay, yeah, alright. im cool with that. its a-okay. brilliant idea. just wonderful. im stoked for twiderp. woohoo. COME ON! AN AUTHOR OF YOUR DEMONSTRABLE CALIBER SHOLDNT BE TURNING THIS INTO CLOP! YOURE BETTER THAN THAT! THIS IS A STORY WITH POTENTIAL! ITS BRILLIANT! DONT RUIN IT! GAH!
it pisses me off when authors do things like that! NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
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Hehe relax bud, the story just went through a major rehaul. Remedy changed the rating and moved the saucy bits to their own story. You may now finish this fantastic tale without any worry . Though I must say I read this before any changes were made and the cloppy bits, small though they were, were rather tasteful and adorable. No need to get upset, this was tagged 'mature' and 'sex' when you first decided to click on it after all.
Soo much Derpy da'wwwwwwwwwwwwwww
Hm. The beginning chapters here seem a little heavy-handed, but that's the only real complaint I can give at this point. I'm looking forward to seeing how things unfold. lol
I hate to be the person that has to bring this up, but Derpy's eyes are far too yellow to be tan.
http://mlp.wikia.com/wiki/Derpy she has yellow eyes [Gamboge is a strong yellow.]
printsofjapan.files.wordpress.com/2009/06/gamboge_touou_3.jpg?w=356&h=457
Gamboge / Yellow
img2.findthebest.com/sites/default/files/2307/media/images/t2/Tan_429873_i0.png
Tan
_________
Derpy doesn't have tan eyes.
Derpy x Twilight one true couple, all couples ever.
Amber is a much, much, much better color choice than tan.
And is actually quite fitting for Derpy's eye color.
6890266
Twilight's real good with the mares.
Twilight's one of those few mares who can ship with almost any mare in all of Equestria. And make it read well. But yes, Twerpy (or SparkleDerp) is a super adorable ship.
Oh my sweet Luna, my stomach is aching just thinking about how awful that must be.
8337573
Lol wen i read this i immediately wished i hadnt just eaten
8337573
I'm... I'm really trying not to think too hard about it.
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9135636
Mustard seed, oyster sauce, thyme, dill. In a corn muffin.
It’d probably work actually. It’s not a dessert though. Serve it with... chowder.
8337573
Your profile pic works perfectly here.
Also, at least it didn't make a significant proportion of the town unbearably ill, unlike Applejack's efforts when she was exhausted and stubborn.
Actually, there is. That limit is defined by time, for the most part. I know you can often combine activities, but in order to keep a friendship going and have it meaningful, you need to dedicate time towards making it happen. Each friend has different requirements, so I can't tell you how many you can 'juggle', but there're only so many hours in a day, and only so many days in a week.
Of course, if you and your friends all have lives, that's less of an issue, for multiple reasons. But there still is a practical limit to the number of friends - true friends - you can actually have and not lose.
And yes, you can make time, but that has to come out of something. If you start substracting from your 'me' time (which is whenever you're doing anything that satisfies your internal, non-biological needs - like indulging in a hobby, or reading a book), it's going to start showing.
Stellar story so far, by the way. We may not agree on that point, but it doesn't make the story any less entertaining. Besides, I'm a nitpicky sort, so don't be suprised when I take half a sentence and just argue for (or against) it at length... ;]
Edit 2020/08/04
Okay, I should probably clarify: you can consider many people 'dear friends' and always welcome them with open arms, no matter how long it's been since you've met last. That's entirely up to your perception, and I've absolutely nothing against it. Just remember that if you haven't kept in touch (which comes back to time), that person standing in front of you may be very different from what you remember, especially if your friendship formed when you were teens or early adults -- the human brain has a lot of development to get through even at 22~25 still, not to mention one's world-view tends to evolve according to experiences, so fairly major shifts in personality are not all that uncommon around that age. For instance, I used to be a happy-go-lucky, relaxed kind of guy that never really took anything seriously -- and fifteen years later, I'm probably in the running for the Stick Up Their Ass Award...
And as for your friends each having different requirements -- that includes the amount of time and/or involvement they need, and how seriously they take things. Some take things at face value, others have been burned before and will hold off on allowing you in. If you happen to be on the extreme end of the introvert/loner scale, this can become tiring very quickly.
10031760
This is where cloning spells and time magic come into play, I can just see twlight sparkle hanging out at three different places at the same time to be efficient.