Why hold on to something you can't have or never will have. Ive let the demons inside me win if let go my boyfriend has officaly stopped caring about me when I said I was going to kill myself and we were both upset and he said I dought it. and everyday I hold on to whatever hand is reaching out to hold me now there is no more hand holding out to me so if stopped trying to break free from the demons and my prison and if given up. I can't handle life anymore I reach for things I'll never have.

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A girl, walking threw life,
Her teeth in a smile,
But what she hides threw the lie,
A strong saddness,
Plain to the eye,
Her hair strait and ombrayed with beauty,
But what covers her unequ eyes, her beautiful hair hanging low in her face ever time she sits alone,
Ever lunch table filled to the brim, exsept that one way in the back with just one girl,
Sitting alone eating her food, reading a book with tears on her chin,

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I'm healing slowly guys I'm trying as hard I can its hard when your born into a family that does nothing but bring you down

Everyone with fucking religion tells me gods got a fucking plane well if his plane is to watch and laugh at my suffering then so be it he can watch one of his children die cuz I'm fucking done with this fucking shit.......

I'm going there a lot right now not only me and my dad are with my grandparents again but my great grandmother just died and i collapsed crying at the funeral today and my grandma was diagnosed with skin canser and its stage 2 and I'm starting to develiup some kind of rash and becoming very sick and ill multipul times a day and we still don't know what's wrong with me.
So yeah I'm having a shitty Christmas break

Losing hope,
losing dreams,
losing faith,
losing heart,
losing perk,
losing strength.

Alone in this night,
alone in this day.

Words of hate,
words of spite,
words of greed,
words of fear.

Fears of losing,
fears of future,
fears of danger,
fear or pain.

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i am blamed for my dad wanting to blow his head off and im onc again sitting hear bawling my eyes out

So not only do i have to move again cuz my dad quit and didnt think about his daughter when he did it..... but now my boyfriend will be in Mexico for 2 weeks past Wednesday........... he wont even be here for Christmas so for two weeks im going to be not only at school alone but at home sitting alone cured up on my bed listening to my music box song on youtube to make me not cry as best it can. and tro make it even more worse ill be alone on Christmas i dont have my sister or my

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