Just to be clear, I am asking, not offering. It just so happens that I am neither Asian nor female—sorry to those of you out there who were hoping otherwise.

The reason I ask? Well, I've been trying to be productive and write (for real this time!), but I keep getting distracted by the same three variants of this one ad on literally every single page on FIMFic I visit.

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So I'm scrolling through screencaps of the show when all of the sudden...

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Today, as I am wont to do, I was lollygagging around on the internet to avoid being a productive member of society. And in scrolling through all my old, abandoned whole-wheat pancake recipes, I realized something—my one year FIMFic-iversary was last Tuesday.

That's a scary thought. It certainly doesn't feel like I've been here for a whole year. Heck, it feels like just yesterday I was still baking terribad Pokémon pancakes over on... *shudders* fanfiction.net.

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Have you guys heard of Foodfight!? You know, the movie that gives Birdemic: Shock and Terror a run for it's money as the most craptastic film in all of history?

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Something something something sixteen years old. I feel like I should feel different, but I don’t really. All I feel is weirdly the same. Blargh. Maybe I’ll write a short little McFIMFic about how I’m feeling later today. Or maybe not. I’unno.

Enough about me, though. What’s new with all you people?

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About half an hour ago, something crazy happened.

Gravity was featured on Equestria Daily.

As amazing as that is, that’s not even all. A month or so back, I passed two hundred followers. Give it another month or two, I’ll likely pass ten thousand total story views.

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Totally not photoshopped or anything. I actually have six million followers, especially because there are only one hundred fifty thousand users on the site. Trust me, it makes sense. Just don't think about it too hard.

Why yes, this is how I spend my Friday nights. Why do you ask?

Hot damn, there are a lot of you guys now. Like, practically two hundred. Do you know how terrifying that is? I literally can’t even talk to my friends without doing or saying something stupid. Don't believe me? Well, there was that time I forgot the word “bread” and referred to it as “pre-toast” instead, or that time I forgot to bring my clothes to the showers with me at summer camp, or even that time I—

Wait, what was I saying again?

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So I was searching derpibooru for pictures of Roseluck for no reason at all (I totally wasn't looking for cover art. Why would you think that? I mean, it's not like I'm almost finished writing a one-shot about Roseluck or anything. Why would I need cover art?) when I stumbled across these gems:

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All this drama and I'm just here like...

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