Well.... i wore a pair of earings i haven't worn for a couple years. My mom's bad memory, she thought they were hers, and.... there was a HUGE fight. Now, she's turned her back on me in spite, because i ain't giving them to her. If i thought she hated me before.... this is true hate. Cut off of everything, i fear she'll kick me out on my rear, or worse..... send me to my awful dad.

Pain is a constant companion.... i can only mute it so long with painkillers. And fear has got the better of me--- i've withdrawn like a turtle in my own shell. I want to write, but.... i just can't.

I looked at the unreleased stress doodles i've sketched this month.... if i could, i'd show you the one i drew on Thanksgiving. Let's just say that it's violent, and leave it at that. I have been doing a lot of thinking lately as well.... i locked the razor away in my safe. Don't tell me to get rid of it, because i'd find some excuse to hold onto it. I.... i'm thinking of getting therapy. I'm a rather mentally broken person. [buries muzzle in paws]

I... i overreacted. [shaky breath] Took an antidepressant, even though it made me quite sick.... Now i feel odd, because i can't feel. My own emotions are strange to me.

Things were going ok.... until the love of your life turns to his mom for help.... and she ruins your life. Fuck what i think, i see.... i see a mirror of hate from the family my love lives with. So what if i can still communicate!? At the hours i'm able.... i... [buries face in paws] If i don't cease communication, i'll have police at my door. I should've never given out my true adress.... i'll stay up at night, with a razor under my pillow. I told people i got rid

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Let's just say i wish mine was better. How was your thanksgiving?

When you talk to someone close to you, and.... and they open a few deep old wounds.

If it hasn't become news to you people, there are reasons why i tremble like a chiauaua. [yes, i know this word is mispelled] Some of them are bad reasons, and this comes with a very bad sick feeling. The other times, it's emotion, but the sign in general is a bad sign i'm stressed. I was still curious how you all were doing, despite how limited i am on keeping contact.

How am i doing? Right now..... i feel like i might throw up. [buries face in paws] I am not doing well.

I'm trembling, but i wanted to say hi to everyone. How's everypony doing?

My friends..... a dear friend of mine no longer roams the earth. Jake, you will be sorely missed.

He departed this earth, succumbed to cancer that he never even told me exisisted. His brother came by and told me this news.... i was floored. Rest in peace my friend.... you will be missed so very much.