I had an appointment with a specialist, yes...
Didn't expect to be stuck like a pin cushion. I'll be sore for days....

Life sure is a see-saw. My mom was on my side for one moment.... the next, completely against me. I'm so very confused on where i truly stand. But i still can't get a job though, and i've given up all hope for that. I'm tired of all this, and just want a fresh start..... but i'm terrified. I can't tell people about the voices in my head. They'd think i was nuts!

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I did say i was getting drunk off my flank. But before i even started, i got really dizzy and light-headed. I think it was related to the fluttery feel in my chest. But would i let that stop me? Only time will tell. But hey, i'm still alive, despite my harmful habits of barely sleeping, and not eating very much. I'm here for some damn reason.... i have yet to figure that out.
~RustyKat~

Well..... i'm still alive. I need help, but can't quite get any..... I'm gonna get myself drunk off my ass. Here's a tad of dark poetry.

Truth be told, i'm a coward with a heart of glass.
I'm haunted every day, with reminders of things long pass.
Nightmares aplenty, fears abound....
While i do not make a single sound.
Lost in the dark, no sense of light...
i've lost my will to go on, to fight.

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Well..... things turn from rocky, to even more so. My boyfriend called a detective, and now i'm preparing for the worst. We had a small little spat, which didn't help anything. I, of course, backed off and shut down. Now, i have even more trust issues. The whole thing makes my palpitations worse.... i fear that at some point, i'll end up having a heart attack.

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What is the biggest regret you've ever had?

Mine was walking in on 2 guys making out.

Ugh, maybe that wasn't such a great idea. I went a whole day without eating. No painkillers or anything. I truly have no hope left. But.... i tried to take back what is mine. Those journals of private thoughts. There are pages missing.... i dread to know what this means. Even so, i have informed my closest friend to call the police, if things get out of paw once more.

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Ugh, i want to die. My little brother caused so much stress. He snuck up on me while i was having a private call, and when i didn't want to let him see who i was calling, he lunged at me. This broke the phone. Infuriated, he stole my locked backpack. He pried the lock off.... and got to three whole journals of my private thoughts and opinions. He stole what little cash i had stored away, and even took the little game system i had kept for years.... plans to sell it. I tried to stop

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*for those who read "Apart from the Rest"*
Wouldn't it be fucked up, if Xeon ended up with a changeling foal?

Yeah, i see the new episodes. But i haven't had motivation to sketch, nor ever write. Hell, nobody would even read it, and even if they did, it would end up like the time i wrote "Lightning and Pawprints". Nothing but pure tearing down, harsh critism, and telling of how bad of an author i truly am. Calling my ideas stupid, and treating me like trash. So, as a result, i took the story off entirely..... never to return. [sigh] And people judge my sketches too. I try

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