Assassin's Pie

by Rainbow2Dash

Chapter 1: A Stranger's Visit

Assassin's Pie

Chapter 1: A Stranger’s Visit

The tales you have heard about Itallionia are not all there is to know. You may have heard about the rich culture, the groundbreaking architecture, or the revolutionary political ideas to have been produced by this country. But any Itallion will tell you that their true landmark is the Sweets and Pies bakery - best known for its trademark deep fried chimicherry pies, among other traditional Itallion delicacies.

In the bakery, Pinkie Pie scrambles about her kitchen every day to fill orders as fast as her hooves can work. Her bakery is always stuffed full with eager customers who crave her delicious cakes and pies. Despite the number of customers she serves each day, she always makes each customer feel special. To put a smile on her customers faces, she puts a bow on each of their orders and shouts something cheerful as they pick up their sweets, like: “Have a super sweet day!”

But one day, the bakery had an unusual customer. On this morning, an unusual customer swung open the bakery door and stalked in. Everybody was struck silent by the arrival of the unfamiliar and dangerous looking stranger. It was a mangy, scarred Hyena, whose fur was scruffy and caked with dirt. He had savage eyes which darted suspiciously at all of the startled patrons. The smell emitting off of him caused Pinkie’s customers to retch with disgust; it was the rancid smell of someone who had evidently been digging in the trash for most of his life. He was wearing a tattered turquoise tunic with a pair of baggy patchwork canvas pants which were held up only by a tightly knotted red sash around his waist. The Hyena slithered along the counter, browsing her tasty sweets with a hungry expression.

Apparently indifferent to her new customer’s bizarre appearance, Pinkie Pie gleefully introduced herself. “Hiya! I’m Pinkie Pie, and this is my super yummy one-of-a-kind bakery! How can I satisfy your sweet tooth today?” The hyena stopped moving immediately and glared at Pinkie Pie. “Would you like to try one of our ultra famous chimicherry pies?” Pinkie continued after he didn’t respond. After a moment, he spoke.

“I ask nothing of you,” the hyena said with a wary and skeptical expression at the rambling pony. “I am merely browsing your wares.”

“Okie-dokie-loki!” quipped Pinkie Pie, leaving the hyena to do as he pleased as she went to tend to another customer’s order.

But only a moment after speaking to her, the hyena swiftly departed without speaking to anyone or purchasing anything. Pinkie’s customers let out a collective sigh of relief to see the stranger gone and began to chatter as usual. All seemed normal - but this wasn’t the last the bakery saw of that mysterious visitor.

Late that night, when the bakery had been closed, Pinkie pie carefully checked her inventory to prepare herself for another busy day. But to her surprise, there was a pie missing - one of her famous chimicherry pies, no less. She always keep track of the pies that she made and she kept records of how many she sold; she knew there was definitely something wrong here. She double checked and then triple checked. Surely, there was no doubt that a pie had gone missing. But she shrugged it off.

“It’s no biggie. I can make another one right now,” Pinkie said, not allowing the mysterious disappearance to bother her cheery mood as she opened up a few of her cupboards and began to gather ingredients to replace the missing pie. Pinkie Pie lit the fire in the stone oven and tendered it with more coals. After that, she grabbed two pounds of fresh cherries, mashed them up, strained out the pits and stems, and scooped the cherry paste into an ice box so that it is kept fresh. Afterwards, she kneaded the dough to put into the pie pan. With the pan finally prepared, she took the mashed cherries out of the ice box and dabbed them into the pan, along with her secret blend of delicious spices. After arranging strips of dough on top of the pie, she gingerly placed the pie in the oven, grabbed her hourglass, and flipped it upside down.

Once the final speck of sand passed towards the bottom of the hourglass, Pinkie Pie put on her oven mitts and grabbed the fresh pie out of the oven. Finally finished, she set it on her windowsill to cool in the crisp night. No matter how many times she prepared this dish the scent was always captivating. It caused the nearby strays to begin howling with hunger. The pink pony let out a contented sigh for she had replaced her missing pie in good time.

She only turned her back for a second when something terrible happened. Her knees jittered, her ears flopped, and her spine writhed uncontrollably for a second while her eyes crossed. She wasn’t sure what this combo meant, and she feared the worst...

She rushed to the kitchen to check on her pie, and what she saw caused her jaw to drop, her eyes to widen and her mouth to gape. She saw nothing! The pie wasn’t there anymore! She slowly walked to the window to search for clues of where her pie had gone. She searched high and low for some tell tale signs of what happened, but all Pinkie Pie could find was a pair of dirty paw prints imprinted on the windowsill, one on the left and right of an area that used to contain her fresh pie.

“I wonder whose these paw prints belong to?” Pinkie Pie pondered to herself.

At the break of dawn, Pinkie Pie decided to rush towards the Itallionia Ponicia Force to report the incident. She pounced from block to block through narrow cobblestone roads towards her destination, too determined to get to the bottom of this heinous crime to notice when another pony stood in the middle of the road. She accidentally slammed into Investigatore Dash with full force, which launched her into the air and sent her spiraling right into an apple stand. Pinkie stopped in her tracks and watched with horror as the pegasus screamed and crashed full speed into a stand, which sent apple pulp and chunks of wood to soar through the air as if it had been blown up.

Dazed, the Investigatore groaned as she pulled her head out of a mess of splintered wood and apples. She pried an empty apple crate that had become lodged onto her head, spat out a apple that somehow got stuck in her mouth, and glared at the hyperactive pink ball of fluff that dared attack her.

“Hey, what’s the big idea!” roared Investigatore Dash.

“Oh, gosh, I am so, so, so very sorry Dashie!” cried the pink pony as she rushed to help Dash up.

Investigatore Rainbow Dash is a cyan colored pegasus who recently vowed her loyalty to the Itallionia Ponicia Force right out of school, where her speed and determination made her an invaluable member of the department.

“I told you to stop calling me Dashie! I am to be called by my official title: Investigatore Dash!” Dash said in a reprimanding tone as she stumbled on a few rolling apples. Her anger grew as she looked down at her outfit, which had been spotless not a minute ago.

“And look! You got apple juice smeared all over my outfit!”

“Yea, juice from ma’h apple harvest,” a voice grumbled as the mound of debris shifted to reveal another pony caught in the crash. It was Applejack, an orange earth pony, wearing her now messy apron and missing her light brown stetson hat which had blown up onto a nearby tent. She was the owner of a nearby apple orchard called Applemela Farm.

But Dash was more concerned with her brown plaid outfit and cape. She barely noticed the earth pony caught in the wreckage as she picked off chunks of apple to make herself once again presentable.

“Now, what the hay was that all about, Pinkie?” asked Applejack, who was more concerned about their situation than the way they looked.

“Yeah, why are you in such a hurry?” Investigatore Dash asked forcefully.

“Nevermind that, I need to get to the Ponicia Station like pronto!” Pinkie Pie looked eager to move along and stamped her feet up and down until she looked at Dash and realized something. “Oh! That’s right. Dashie! You are just the pony I wanted to see,” Pinkie chattered excitedly.

“Oh? What is it?” the investigatore said with a wary expression.

Pinkie Pie inhaled deeply and tried to fit everything she had to say in one breath, as fast as she could.

“Yesterday, I noticed that I was missing a pie in my bakery. I never just lose pies, but still I shrugged it off and made another one and put it put on the windowsill for it to cool off. I looked away for a moment when I had this feeling of a combo coming; my knees jittered, my ears flopped, my spine writhed, and my eyes crossed! I didn’t know what this combo meant, but I feared the worst! So I rushed back to the kitchen and somebody stole my pie!”

Rainbow Dash’s eyes squinted while she tried to follow along to Pinkie’s story. “Wait, what now?”

“I said somebody stole my pie!!!” Pinkie Pie shouted in frustration.

“What?! Who would dare commit such a heinous crime when I'm on patrol!?”

“Duh! I don’t know! That’s why I wanted to see you, silly!” cried Pinkie Pie, becoming more and more frantic.

“Hm,” Rainbow Dash grunted in thought as she raised a hoof to her chin and looked at the ground in thought. “ I see. Very well. I will come over to your bakery to establish a crime scene as soon I’m done helping this civilian.” She waved one hoof back generally towards the area of the destroyed apple stand and its vendor.

With this, Pinkie Pie skipped away, happy that the capable Investigatore would be on the case. Rainbow Dash turned to Applejack as she hopped out of view and surveyed the damage.

“Aw, it’s no biggie, ah suppose. We grow tons of apples at the orchard, and these were ‘bout to go bad anyhow. What I’m really concerned about is that there is a thief on the loose.”

“Wait, you know about this thief problem?” Investigatore Dash asked as she faced Apple Jack with scrutiny.

“Of course. All the street vendors are havin’ to watch over their wares, extra special like. The darn criminal even stole some of mah granny smiths, just yesterday mornin’.”

“Really?” Dash said as she thought about her statement. “It sounds like we have a serious criminal on the loose.” She then put on a brave face and said in her most official way, “Never fear, citizen! Crime will not go unpunished when Investigatore Dash is on the case!”

“Oh, thank ya kindly. Ah’m downright thankful that you are going to find that confounded thief.”

“This is not the only incident of thievery, then” mumbled Dash as she wrote in her notepad.

“That thief sure is quick, and I don’t think they’ve ever been caught before. I’ve never had such a problem with just one thief,” Applejack considered as she spoke.

“Unless, there is not just one thief - but a gang!” replied Investigatore Dash.

“Ya reckon?” Applejack looked worried.“If that's true, then how do we figure out who they are? Where they are hiding? And why are they doing this?” asked Applejack.

“That is what I aim to figure out, ma’am,” replied Dash, “Well I better head over to Pinkie Pie’s bakery if I want more clues.”

“Okay, well, I reckon I wish you the best of luck in your investigation.” said Applejack.

Investigatore Dash dashed her way to the Sweets and Pies Bakery to investigate the crime scene to learn more about this possible gang of thieves.

She walked through the door and trotted up to the counter, looking towards the spot where Pinkie Pie normally stood. Then she saw the bell on the counter, picked it up and gave it a gentle ring. Instantly, Pinkie Pie popped up from under the counter like a jack-in-the-box.

“Wah!” screamed Dash as she flinched.

“Oh, thank goodness you’re here Dashie!” Pinkie Pie grinned.

Dash regained her professional demeanor and ignored Pinkie’s use of her nickname. Dash replied, “Yeah... Now, can you lead me to where the pie was taken?”

“Sure thing! It’s this way.” Pinkie pie said while leading Dash into the kitchen. Dash then started to scan the area where the pie once placed.

Investigatore Dash pulled out her magnifying glass and started to scan the kitchen floor, looking for any footprints hints that the thief may have left behind. She couldn't find anything at first - not a clue, hint, or hoofprint on the floor. Suddenly, she came across something - an empty mop bucket.

“Wait. This wasn’t here when I came in,” Dash pondered to herself and looked up to see that Pinkie Pie was mopping the floor. “AAAAAH! Pinkie Pie! What are you doing?” screamed Rainbow Dash, outraged.

“Isn’t it obvious? I’m mopping the floor, ‘cause I just realized it was so dirty!” Pinkie Pie cheerfully replied.

“What are you talking about?! You’ve probably already destroyed valuable evidence that I need for my investigation!”

“Well, excuse me! I’m just doing my job. I don’t want to manage a dirty bakery! Who wants to eat at a bakery if there’s tracks of dirt everywhere!”

Rainbow Dash was running out of patience and nearly stormed out of the bakery in frustration when her eyes came across a clue - or two, to be exact. There were two paw prints on the windowsill.

“At least she didn’t mop up the window,” Rainbow Dash muttered. “Huh. These certaintly do not belong to a gang of Diamond Dogs. Which means there must be a new gang afoot in Itallionia,” Dash mused out loud to herself.

Rainbow Dash turned to the pastry chef. “So,” Dash said as she began to interrogate Pinkie Pie, “Let’s start with yesterday. Did you have any strange or suspicious customers at all throughout the day?”

“Nope!” Pinkie Pie quickly replied.

“No?”

“Nope. Well, there was one creepy guy who smelled like bad eggs and grumbled and scared everyone out of their wits, but he wasn’t so bad!”

Rainbow Dash placed her hoof on her forehead and reached her pocket for her notebook and quill. “I’m guessing this is going to be the closest thing I’ll have to a lead in my investigation with you around, isn’t it? Alright, come on then, let’s hear a description of this ‘creepy guy’.”

~End of Chapter 1~