Assassin's Pie

by Rainbow2Dash

Chapter 2: A Special Treat for Thieves

Assassin's Pie

Chapter 2: A Special Sweet for Thieves

Having finished all of the cleaning around the bakery, Pinkie Pie trotted towards the entrance to flip the ‘open’ sign on her display window to welcome her customers. As she turned to attend to her displays, her first customer entered and started to browse her freshly baked sweets. The customer, a young purple colt and a regular of Pinkie’s bakery, browsed to the counter as he did most mornings. He put a hoof to his chin and carefully browsed the lemon tarts before selecting a few that caught his eye, as he did on every morning. The colt timidly tapped the bell to summon someone for his purchase. After waiting several moments for assistance, the customer peered over the counter, looking to see if he could spot any of the employees. Suddenly, Pinkie Pie burst from underneath the register, causing the customer to fall back on his haunches. “Welcome to my super yummy one-of-a-kind bakery! How can I satisfy your sweet tooth today?”

“Gaaah!” he yelped nervously as he fell hard on his flank.

“Oh , I’m so sorry! Here, let me help you up.” said Pinkie Pie as she lifted the customer up on his hooves. Once he was back on his hooves, Pinkie Pie returned behind the counter and continued to smile as she waited for his order.

“Uh, mornin’, Pinkie Pie. Just me again,” the colt continued, stammering as he recovered from the shock he experienced whenever dealing with Pinkie. “Uh, well,” he continued. “I would like a few of those lemon tarts over there, please.”

“Okie dokie lokie!” Pinkie Pie said as she edged towards the sweets that he had picked out. The colt patiently waited as Pinkie Pie gathered up the lemon tarts, wrapped them in thin paper, and tied the package in the purple ribbon.

“Have a super sweet day!” she sang out while handing over the bundle.

“Ah, thanks again, Pinkie Pie,” the customer returned, finally calm and content with Pinkie’s service as he left the bakery.

Pinkie Pie returned to the kitchen to prepare a few last-minute orders, but before the door of the bakery swung fully closed, a new customer arrived to push it back open. It was a young yellow filly with a bushy red mane adorned with an over-sized bow. The small filly made a great effort try to reach the bell on the counter; with a grunt, she took a jump and slapped the bell with her hoof. She managed to smack the bell on the counter, but lost balance and landed roughly on her rump.

"Owww, darn it!” cried the yellow filly as sat and cringed.

Pinkie Pie heard the bell, a thump, and a sullen filly’s voice. As she tried to place the familiar voice, she pranced to the counter and found a young filly sitting on the ground. “Hello?” Pinkie called out.

The filly rubbed her bruising flank and looked up towards the voice. She saw Pinkie Pie arriving from the kitchen as she bounced over the counter and landed beside her.

“Hiya there, Applebloom,” Pinkie Pie greeted her. “Lemme help you up!”

“Thanks, Pinkie Pie,” Applebloom said.

“So! Is there anything I can get for you? There’s a lot of sweets to choose from!” Pinkie Pie waved to one of the glass cases where sweets made from every sort of fruit and spice were meticulously displayed.

“Gee, that is a lot of sweet stuff to choose from,” Applebloom said, her eyes gleaming and her mouth drooling as she browsed the delicious sweets. Her eyes froze on one treat in particular. “A’h would love to have that sprinkled caramel-covered apple!”

“Okie doki loki!” the pink pony cheered. “One happy apple, coming right up!” She grabbed the sprinkled caramel-covered apple and handed to Applebloom.

“Thanks Pinkie Pie!”Applebloom said as she handed over two bits. She was about to leave, but stopped short of leaving the door to take a big bite of her treat. She turned around, quickly came back and said, ”Oh! I remember what I came here for!” She spoke quickly through chewed apple, eager to get to her treat. “Applejack wanted me to take you to the Ponicia Force! Like, right now!”

“Oh?” She said worriedly as she furrowed her brow. She shook her head and continued to speak in good cheer. “Okie doki loki, then! I’ll just close up shop for a break, then. Tell her I’ll be there in just a second,” Pinkie Pie said as she doused the fire in her stone stove, closed all the windows and flipped the ‘OPEN’ sign back to ‘CLOSED’. She trotted out the front door along with Applebloom.

After a few minutes of trotting down the cobblestone streets towards the station, Pinkie Pie arrived with Applebloom. Applejack stood bravely at a bench near the entrance with a lasso hooked under one leg. She nodded at Pinkie and waved her towards the back of the room, where a police pegasus stood guard back at the holding cells with a determined look on his face. Pinkie approached the guard, who began to speak when he recognized her.

“Ms. Pie, We have reason to believe that we have a suspect in custody who may have been responsible for a theft at your bakery yesterday morning,” the police guard addressed her officially. “Is it not true that you are missing one cherry pie?”

“Not just any cherry pie; A chimicherry pie!” Pinkie Pie corrected him cheerily.

The police guard regarded her skeptically. “Right. Uh, yes, that would fit the description. This suspect has been caught by a local farmer. She has reason to believe that this is the very criminal that stole your pie. He’s been caught red-hooved -- well, red-faced, in this case.”

Pinkie Pie walked towards the iron bars where a tired and beaten looking hyena sat on the dirt floor of his cell, cherry filling thick on his cheeks. He looked somber, but still somehow violent and mangy. Applebloom shied away from the cell, unlike Pinkie Pie, who eyed the crook suspiciously. The police guard went behind a desk to grab an empty pie pan. “Would you please identify if this is the pan that your pie was baked in?”

Pinkie glanced once at the pan and instantly recognized it. “Yep!”

“Very well,” the officer replied. “Investigatore Dash will handle the matter from this point. If you would care to observe and provide input, the station will appreciate your assistance in indicting this ruffian.”

Investigatore Dash entered brusquely, her eyes focused harshly on the scrappy prisoner. But despite his usual roughness, the intensity of the investiagatore made him nervous. The hyena gulped and became nervous as she quickly approached his cell.

But after arriving to his cell and gauging him with a glance, she turned her attention to the attending guard. “Get this prisoner to the interrogation chamber,” Investigatore dash ordered the guard. The hyena shifted back in his cell at the mention of the frightening sounding room.

“Yes, Sir!” he dutifully replied.

The guard unlocked the gate and grabbed the prisoner roughly around the neck to lead him - and partly drag him - to the interrogation chamber. Investigatore Dash lead as Pinkie Pie, Applejack and Applebloom followed closely behind. As they arrived at the steel bar door of the interrogation chamber, the guard pulled out a rusted key, unlocked the padlock of the small room with a dull click, and escorted the group inside.

“Sir!” said the guard, gesturing Dash into the chamber.

Investigatore Dash shoved the Hyena into the chamber; he lost balance and fell sprawled on the dusty floor.
Applejack almost entered the chamber before apprehension struck her. She turned around to stop the yellow filly behind her. “Ah’m mighty sorry Applebloom, but I can’t let you in.”

“But why nawt? Ah’m a big pony!” Applebloom complained.

“Sorry Applebloom, this is for big ponies only,” Applejack explained carefully. Although her friend Dash was on her side, the Investigatore’s fierceness even scared her as well. “Ah can’t let you see what might happen in the chamber. Please understand, for your safety and my concern as your big sister,” Applejack pleaded.

“Fine... If you say so sis,” Applebloom muttered gloomily.

“Thank you, Applebloom,” Applejack said as she gave a kiss on her forehead. She then turned to a nearby guard and waved him over, “Scuse me sir, would you be so kind as to escort mah sister back to Applemela farm? It’s a long way for a little filly,” Applejack asked. The guard nodded curtly and approached the young pony.

“I’m a big pony, gosh darnit...” Applebloom grumbled while trotting away with the guard. Applejack watched after her as she left the station. She only turned around back to the interrogation chamber after she left her sight. It was a small room with two chairs and a wooden table, dimly lit by a single torch placed on the far wall. She entered to find Dash already beginning the interrogation.

“Get on the chair,” Investigatore Dash stoically ordered the hyena.

Even if he was scared, the hyena knew he couldn’t bow to her authority - bending to the authorities and snitching were against the honor code of his gang. The hyena walked to the chair and stepped onto the seat.

“What are you doing?” demanded Investigatore Dash.

“Well, you told me to get on the chair, not to sit on the chair. Hyeakakaka!” The hyena crackled with forced joviality.

Pinkie Pie saw Dash’s rising frustration and tried to chip in. “Well, he’s right Dashie!” Pinkie Pie chimed in, only to be shot down by a glare from Rainbow Dash.

“Look at this! The big, mean detective being talked down to by a pink pony. Kyakakakakaa!!” The Hyena laughed hysterically.

A sudden breeze passed the Hyena’s cheek and hit the stone wall. Blood seeped from his cheek, he looked at the wall to see what nicked him. It was a throwing knife, now thickly cut into the stone wall. He jerked back to face Investigatore Dash who had her arm still raised.

“Don’t you dare buck with me!” screeched Investigatore Dash as she slammed a hoof hard onto the table between them.

Applejack jumped at the sudden violence and leaned in to try to calm down the Investigatore. “Uh, sugarcube,” Applejack whispered to Rainbow Dash, “Don’t cha think that’s ah bit rough? All he did was steal a pi-”

“He stole several pies, your apples, AND quite a bit of other sweets, if I remember correctly,” the Investigatore interrupted Applejack, all while keeping a firm eye on the wounded hyena.

“You don’t know that, you power hungry witch! You don’t have any evid-”

She stood up with both front hooves placed on the table before her as she interrupted him and spoke quickly. “You were caught with chimicherry pie filling on your muzzle, and you had a pie tin with you. Deduction and common sense tell me you’re either the cause of the other crimes or part of a group. Either way, you’re more than likely guilty,” Dash spoke with a bragging tone, and she continued to hold her burning gaze on the suspect while doing so.

“Yeah, and we know you ate one of my pies!” Pinkie yelled as she jumped onto the table, bringing her eyes close to the hyena’s, “Whaddya say to that, huh?”

Rainbow smacked her hoof against her face and shook her head disapprovingly, “Pinkie, I just said that.”

“Oh... Okay! Next question!” The pink pony giggled as she bounced back to her place behind the Investigatore.

“Wow, you really need to brush up on your interrogation skills, both of you,” the hyena taunted as he smirked, “I mean, you haven’t even asked me for my name, and you’re already throwing knives and pink ponies at me.”

“Fine then,” Dash sat down in front of the desk, “We’ll take this in a more civilized manner.” She eyed him casually and spoke plainly. “What’s your name, scumbag?”

The hyena leaned across the desk and chuckled, “I suppose that’s as loving as a prisoner here will get. No wonder you’re an Investigat-”

Before the culprit could finish his sentence, Rainbow Dash swung her front hoof smashing into his face, causing him to almost fall out of his chair.

“I asked you for your name like a decent pony, like you suggested. Don’t make me switch back to my way of doing things.”

The hyena rubbed his face, which was beginning to swell. “Fine. It’s Eclair,” The hyena whined as he rubbed his jaw with his paw, “Eclair the Hyena.”

“IT’S A LIE! A rotten lie!” Pinkie exclaimed as she jumped onto the table again, causing it to topple over and losing her balance over the hyena.

“Where do you find these ponies? She’s a hoot! Kyakakakakaka!” He cackled as the pink mare lay sprawled at his feet.

Investigatore Dash grabbed Pinkie Pie’s tail and yanked her away from the Hyena, “Pinkie Pie! Don’t interrupt the interrogation!" bellowed Rainbow Dash.

“Eeep! Sorry, Dashie,” The pink pony apologized.

“I told you before,” Rainbow growled, “Call me INVESTIGATORE DASH!”

“Kyaahakakakaa! Whooo, hahaha, you guys really are a hoot! And I mean it, I never laughed so hard before!” Eclair wheezed from the pain of his sides from laughter, though one hand quickly returned to his aching face.

“Now calm down y'all, we’re here for the hyena, not to yell at each other,” Applejack said as she walked between the pink and blue ponies, “Why don’t you both save it for after the interrogation? I, for one, would like to know where mah apples have gone off to.”

“Oh! The orange pony interrupted you! What are you going to do about her? Kyahakakakaa!” Eclair said between fits of laughter.

Rainbow Dash had heard just about enough. She turned her backside towards the hyena, and bucked the chair in his direction.

“Oh, sweet Bavarian creme,” the hyena yelped as he ducked underneath the desk, narrowly missing the flying chair.

“Are you done with your smart-flank remarks?” asked Investigatore Dash.

“Well... Not quite. Kyahakakakaka!” Eclair crackled.

“Well you’d damn well better be. Now sit in that chair before I lose my temper again,” Dash growled.

“Kyahakakakaka!” He continued to shout. He began to hold his sides and wiped a tear from his face. “Whoooo, Oh fine. I believe I’ve had my fill of laughter for today,” Eclair said while taking a breather. Eclair grabbed the chair, pressed it up to the table, and sat down.

“Now, tell me why you’ve been stealing pies, apples and who-knows-what-else?” Investigatore Dash asked.

“I only stole one pie. And as for stealing apples, that was just for sport,” he explained casually before bursting out into another chuckle. “Kehekekeke...”

But he stopped short when he caught the glint of a pair of burning green eyes from a dim area from across the room. Applejack faced the hyena from a dark corner, shooting a cold stare that sent shivers down his back. Eclair peered intently to see who was staring at him. He was becoming spooked by the eerie glimmer. He faced back towards the Investigatore when something hard suddenly smacked him in between his eyes. It bruised and exploded against his head, sending fragments and pulp across the room. He recognized the smell; he thought of a fruit stand that he had stalked the month before. “An apple?” he muttered, dazed.

“Gaah!” Eclair screamed as he saw the orange pony immediately in front of him now.

Without a word, the farmer pony stood and eyed the hyena. The burning emerald eyes pierced his joker front; the hyena soon found it hard enough just to keep from squirming under her stare.

“Aren’t you going to say something, dumb pony?” Eclair egged her on. Applejack showed no sign that she heard his words; she continued to stare coldly directly into his eyes.

“Cat got your tongue? Or did somepony steal that, too?” Eclair continued to mock the silent earth pony. Again, no response. He began to sweat and his eyes began to shift. His stomach felt sick and the silence was beginning to unnerve him. After a tortuous minute, he began to whimper. But Applejack just continued to stare menacingly.

“Speak, pony! What are you looking at me like that for? Like I’m some kind of freak? Or maybe you think I’m too lowly to be spoken to? Speak!” Eclair shouted, his voice cracking as he spoke frantically.

Applejack finally relaxed her stare and smirked. “Not so tough. Ah know you know we’ve got you fer your crimes, but you still won’t ‘fess up. You won’t talk because yer coverin’ for someone else, ain’t ya?” She spoke coolly.

Eclair recoiled when she finally spoke. “Why won’t you leave all of the hard thinking to the Investigatore?” he shot back at her nervously. “I don’t want you to strain a muscle thinking.”

Rainbow Dash approached the two when she saw that Eclair was finally cracking. Pinkie Pie stood back to watch during the tense lull of silence.

The Investigatore calmed down throughout Applejack’s turn. She knew that force wouldn’t work; she used every ounce of her restraint as she approached the quivering suspect.

“We know you’re working for someone, Eclair,” Rainbow Dash said plainly. “You can only help yourself here; they want you to be silent. Think - what do you stand to gain? You either face a life of prison right now or see what we can offer. Help us help you. Tell us what you know. Cooperate.” She approached Eclair and looked him straight in the eyes.

“Who do you work for?” she calmly asked. Eclair lowered his chin in thought.

Eclair looked at her hesitantly. “So, you’re telling me to negotiate or you'll see me rot in prison,” he said slowly. He looked down towards the floor and rubbed his front paws together anxiously. He paused with an ill expression and continued. “Custard. I work for Custard,” Eclair said, feeling both a load off his shoulders and a certain dread that he was taking an unremovable step from a life with his gang as he finished the sentence. Nonetheless, he took a breath with relief.

“Good, now we are getting somewhere. If you continue to help us and provide us with more information, we will be able to help you,” Investigatore Dash said proudly as she glanced gratefully towards Applejack. The farmer pony nodded and stepped back.

“Now, before we start negotiating, I need to know who Custard is. What are you called? What do you represent and what are you trying to achieve here?” the Investigatore questioned him.

Eclair looked sadly at the three ponies in the room. “What have I gotten myself into?” He shook his head. “One question at a time, please,” he said while Rainbow Dash procured her notepad.

“Alright then, let’s go with ‘who is Custard?’” Rainbow Dash said while looking at Eclair.

Eclair hesitated for a moment. “Custard is the Boss of our gang that is called ‘The Sweet Tooth Gang’ He gathers any Hyenas who are poor or angry enough to commit crime for his cause. He also hires Hyenas with particular skills that will help him achieve his goals.”

Investigatore Dash jotted down Eclair's words and said, “Good. Now then, what are these goals exactly?”

“I do not know, I am only a Henchman, we are merely pawns that are kept in the dark,” Eclair said dismissively.

Rainbow Dash immediately dropped her calm. “Then you are of no use to me!” she shouted, closing her notepad and tucking it back into her pocket. “You might as well rot in jail!” Rainbow Dash said furiously.

“You are asking me, a tool of Custard. We are kept as tools; unthinking but effective. But I can help, with my skills, connections, and limited knowledge. I can get you inside the headquarters, with some effort,” Elcair began to plea.

“Ha! Once you get us inside you will betray us,” Rainbow Dash said. “You really think I’m that stupid to fall into such an obvious trap?”

“Not if I take off this,” he said solemnly as he gazed down at a dirty silver-trimmed sash tied on his waist. “This is a sacred cloth for us. It symbolizes our rank and our bond to our fellow thieves. I am ashamed to admit that I am not as selfless as I was when I swore this oath to Custard so many years ago.” With two claws, he loosened the sash, folded it into his paws, and set it on the table in front of the Investigatore. “I suppose it’s worthless now,” he muttered angrily to himself.

Rainbow Dash looked skeptically at his gesture and glanced sideways to Applejack. “We can’t be sure that he can be trusted,” Rainbow Dash spoke in an aside to Applejack.

“I’ll take care of this one, Dashie,” Pinkie Pie eagerly stepped in. A vein on the right temple of Dash’s head became pronounced and her pulse quickened as she was yet again interrupted by her friend; and she just called her ‘Dashie’ again, no less.

“What now!?” Rainbow Dash barked.

“Duh! I can make him swear a Pinkie Pie promise! Then he’d have to be honest,” Pinkie Pie grinned and waited for Dash’s approval.

Rainbow Dash couldn’t stay mad at her friend for too long, given her good intentions. After a pause, she sighed and gave in. After all, with her friends there, the thieving hyena wouldn’t be able to do anything to trick her.

“Alright Pinkie Pie. Knowing you, I’m sure that this hyena has no chance against you if he breaks a Pinkie Promise,” she said in a resigned voice. “Go on, then,” Dash said as looked at Pinkie and nodded towards the hyena.

“What’s this? Another oath?” Eclair looked puzzled as the pink pony sat down across from him.

Pie looked at him without a trace of humor in the dim light of the interrogation chamber. “Repeat after me and do as I say, okay?” she said with a plain face.

Eclair’s confused expression grew. He finally nodded and scooted forward in his chair, saying, “I suppose you’re not giving me a choice. On with it, then.”

“Say, with me, ‘cross my heart and hope to fly, stick a cupcake in my eye,’” Pinkie Pie said. “And then stick your hoof in your eye, like this!” She jammed her hoof roughly into her own eye without flinching.

“Uh, alright,” he said, striking a serious tone. “Cross my heart and hope to fly, stick a cupcake in my eye,” he said quickly.

“And?” Pinkie Pie said expectedly.

Eclair sighed and looked at his forepaw. “Is this truly necessary?” he said.

“If you want us to trust you, it is!” Pinkie Pie said as forcefully as she could. “Now, do it again!”

Eclair glanced around the room at the three ponies once more and thought to himself, “What have I gotten myself into?”

He frowned dejectedly and breathed in to speak the oath once more.

~End of Chapter 2~